Sylvester Stallone credited as playing...
Henry 'Razor' Sharp
- [Lightning brings a bucket of horse urine for Razor]
- Henry 'Razor' Sharp: I'm not putting my hands in horse urine!
- Lightning: So you're telling me you're a better boxer than Jack Dempsey? Every day, Jack Dempsey would soak his hands in horse urine! And nobody ever had a tougher punch than Jack Dempsey!
- Henry 'Razor' Sharp: [resigned] Did you heat it up? Or is it fresh?
- [dips his fists in the bucket]
- Lightning: It's vinegar, I'm kidding!... It's urine!
- [Razor pulls his fist out]
- Lightning: It's vinegar!
- [in]
- Lightning: It's urine!
- [out]
- Lightning: It's vinegar!
- [in]
- Lightning: It's urine!
- [out]
- Lightning: It's vinegar!
- [in]
- Henry 'Razor' Sharp: Hey, come on!
- [Razor and Kid end up in prison]
- Henry 'Razor' Sharp: Will one of you hurry up and rape this guy already?
- [at a skydiving stunt, Razor shoves Kid out of the plane]
- Dante Slate, Jr.: You threw his old ass out the plane!
- [Dante breaks into laughter]
- Henry 'Razor' Sharp: Why are you laughing?
- Dante Slate, Jr.: I forgot to tell you, first one down gets an extra five grand.
- Henry 'Razor' Sharp: Shit!
- [jumps out]
- [as the fight starts]
- Henry 'Razor' Sharp: [to the Kid] Gutsy move, going without a bra!
- Billy 'The Kid' McDonnen: [to Razor] Yeah? I got a surprise for you: I took a dump on your porch!
- [from trailer]
- Dante Slate, Jr.: I got a copy that wants an official rematch, they'll pay you a hundred grand!
- Henry 'Razor' Sharp: Well, I can't be in the same room as that guy. It's not worth it.
- Dante Slate, Jr.: The hell you mean, it ain't worth it? I'm looking at your house!
- [from trailer]
- Lightning: [splashes water on Razor] Time to train!
- Henry 'Razor' Sharp: What have I done?
- Henry 'Razor' Sharp: Listen, uh, your thing. Turn it down.
- Lightning: Oh, the hearing aid. Goddamn thing drives me crazy, feels like R2-freaking-D2!
- Billy 'The Kid' McDonnen: Hey, you made me wait 30 years to prove to the world I could kick your ass! And that's what I'm going to do, kick your ass!
- Henry 'Razor' Sharp: You gotta move on!
- Billy 'The Kid' McDonnen: What, move on?
- Henry 'Razor' Sharp: Move on!
- Billy 'The Kid' McDonnen: Now that you got her, you want me to move on? And what do I got? Nothing, nothing!
- Henry 'Razor' Sharp: Look at us!
- Billy 'The Kid' McDonnen: Yeah, look at us! We're not dead! Everyone's laughing at us! The whole world's laughing at us! But we're not dead! In fact, I feel more alive now than I ever felt!
- Lightning: [unwilling to have a male nurse] What kind of man knowingly takes a job where he's gotta wash another man's balls?
- Henry 'Razor' Sharp: He's a hero a far as I'm concerned, pal.
- Dante Slate, Jr.: You don't know what a video game is? Exactly when did they unfreeze you, Captain America?
- Henry 'Razor' Sharp: Captain America? You know, I could take you down a peg or two... but it looks like someone beat me to it.
- Lightning: Call it!
- [throws a coin in the air]
- Henry 'Razor' Sharp: Hey, I never saw it coming, come on...
- [Lightning raises a hand, and slaps him]
- Lightning: When were you going to tell me you were blind in one eye?
- [last lines]
- Lightning: [on the phone] Bullshit! Fix! Who paid off those judges?
- Henry 'Razor' Sharp: Light! Light, we WON!
- Lightning: What? Who did? What?
- Henry 'Razor' Sharp: We won!
- Lightning: We won? Get the hell out of here!
- Henry 'Razor' Sharp: Heh, no!
- Lightning: Goddamn hearing aid!
- Henry 'Razor' Sharp: [during a casino promotion] Didn't you lose twenty thousand dollars betting here?
- Billy 'The Kid' McDonnen: Yeah, well, who loses the SuperBowl four times in a row?
- Henry 'Razor' Sharp: You know, women are more verbal than men.
- Sally Rose: Women are more verbal than men?
- Henry 'Razor' Sharp: Yeah, I read it in a magazine article: "Women are More Verbal than Men".
- Lightning: You doing real good, you big pussy!
- Henry 'Razor' Sharp: That's not helping.
- Lightning: It's okay, I'm eight hundred years old, I say what I want.
- [from trailer]
- Billy 'The Kid' McDonnen: I wanted to see my old friend, he's been ducking me for thirty years! I missed him!
- Henry 'Razor' Sharp: It don't look like you're missing any meals. I'm outta here!
- Billy 'The Kid' McDonnen: [wallops Sharp] No you're not!
- [a fight starts]
- Dante Slate, Jr.: This is not the behavior of old men!
- Henry 'Razor' Sharp: I'm gonna fight.
- Sally Rose: Don't let him use me to shame you into doing this.
- Henry 'Razor' Sharp: I'm not. I'm not. Not at all. I made so many mistakes, Sally. I made so many. Maybe I shouldn't have quit boxing 30 years ago. Maybe I should've spent more time with you. I ignored you so much. Maybe I could've forgiven you and helped raise your kid. Maybe I could've done so many things that I didn't do. I just don't wanna make any more mistakes. I'm done with that. I let him take from me the two things that mattered most: You and boxing. I just shut it out. I don't even have a TV. Can you believe that? Because I'm afraid I might flip to a fight by accident and be embarrassed, because I'm a fighter. I was born to be a fighter. I had some talent. I did. And I just walked away so early. I love you. Always have, always will. You're stuck with me, believe me. But I've always regretted not beating Kid at his best.
- Sally Rose: No matter how hard you guys work, it won't be your best.
- Henry 'Razor' Sharp: It's the best we got.
- Sally Rose: Then go kick his ass.
- Henry 'Razor' Sharp: Well, since you put it like that, he's a dead man.