Mitsubachi no zawameki/Sekkusu ando za daten shiti

Panty: WHAT THE FUCK? Put it back on! Seriously, he's about to hogtie me. You don't want to miss it.

Mick: What the hell were you thinking, Panty? My God, were you thinking at all? Betsy Johnson, your debut film is porn! You made a sex tape!

Panty: WHAT? SERIOUS?

Mick: As genital warts.

Panty: So, it was just direct-to-video? Well, that explains why I haven't won an Oscar yet.

Mick: That's not it! There's a bigger problem! You don't understand!

Panty: Not any good? Is that what you're trying to tell me?

Mick: Oh, no. You're very good, honey.

Panty: Yeah?

Mick: That's not the point!

Panty: What the fuck is the point, then? SHIT!

Stocking: The point is you have three brain cells left and they're all biting for your attention. Why won't you play your crackified porno during our movie premiere? Now, that's all anyone can think about!

Mick: I hate to be the one to pretend, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but leaking sex tapes is known as career suicide.

Panty: So, it's over? No more group sex? No more naked men covered in sushi? No more spring break body shots? God, I hate it here!

Stocking: I know. Why don't you go shoplift? It'll take the edge off.

Panty: Hold the ballsack. I've got an idea!

[she makes Chuck eat the VHS]

Panty: Fuck it. The whole thing never happened. That was easier than I thought it would be. I do love happy endings.

Stocking: You stupid cuntstipation! That was one copy. Someone already put that shit on the internet! Can you imagine fucking that ape in HD or better yet, how's Blu-ray sound to you? Damn it! How slow can you possibly be? God just did not design you for thinking, did He? Either that, or He put your brain in your clit.

Panty: I don't know what the fuck kind of shit you're trying to say, but I know it reeks of asshole, asshole! Why don't you just admit that you're jealous? It kills you to see my classic bone structure and ass I won't quit on the big screen! Heh. No need to clean up. My maid will get - What the fuck?