- Sam: I don't even know... what do you see in me? Huh? And what's to say you won't just take off and leave whenever you want? That is kind of your philosophy, right? When life gives you something better, you just... you take off. Right?
- Birdie: That's what you think? You think I'm just waiting around till something better comes along?
- Sam: Well, I don't know. You tell me.
- Birdie: That was the first time... I've ever told a guy that I love him. Do you know how shitty it was for me to get that response from you?
- Sam: So, why are you here?
- Birdie: Because... Idiot... I like you... Whether you choose to believe it or not. So, if you don't think that I know you because I don't know what your fucking favorite dessert is, then please tell me so I can stop imagining that this might actually go somewhere.
- Scott: It is very clear that this guy is beyond lost and has no clue how to navigate his own actions.
- Sam: Uh...
- Scott: And what I like is he doesn't understand how the real world works...
- Alan: Right.
- Scott: ...and he's too afraid to show himself to the real world, and these are the seeds of his own undoing.
- Sam: Oh, I don't...
- Scott: He's a child. He's wandering alone in the woods... right?... Lost in the ether of his own neuroses. And this is powerful stuff.
- Alan: Yeah. He's saying you wrote the perfect pussy.
- Sam: The perfect pussy?
- Alan: Yeah, the perfect pussy.
- Scott: Now, around chapter 12... and I'm sorry to interrupt... but it's at this point in the story that it's pretty obvious that I completely side with the girl.
- Alan: See, for me, it's more around chapters 10 and 11.
- Sam: How can you say that? There's no real connection between them. It's not his fault.
- Alan: They were in love. He just wasn't cognizant enough to see it.
- Scott: Exactly, and now all she can do is accept the fact that he's completely inept.
- Alan: That's right. He had it. He lost it because he suffocated her with his own fear. In the end, I mean, it's obvious that it can only be one thing, and that's that he's destined to be alone. It's really honest, and it's really simple.
- Scott: Uh-huh.
- Alan: He's cut everyone out. He's gonna continue to do that. He's gonna get over his issues with his mom and all that stuff.
- Scott: He's gonna spend the rest of his life crippled by the fact that he wasn't able to show her love.
- Alan: And if he did wake up, it would be a lot of substances and a lot of years later.
- Scott: Mm-hmm.
- Alan: And at that point, she would have banged half of Manhattan, so he wouldn't want her anyway, so romance or no romance, it's... it's over with.
- Scott: Yeah.
- Birdie: Success is a myth. Love's the only true currency. After all this is done, all that really matters is how and who you loved.
- Birdie: My name is Birdie.
- Sam: Oh, okay. Sorry. Um... I'm Sam. Um... my name.
- [clears throat]
- Sam: Take Pam with an S.
- Birdie: Oh... so... so, Spam.
- Sam: You know, the P is silent. It's confusing.
- [Both laugh but Jemily sighs]
- Birdie: I would *love* to continue this conversation, but... I
- Sam: [interrupts] Yeah, ofcourse. Sorry. Yeah.
- [to Jemily]
- Sam: Sorry, I didn't see you.
- Jemily: [to Birdie] Large coffee, almond milk, three Sweet'N Lows, two napkins, the name's Emily.
- Birdie: Nice to meet you.
- Jemily: [to Sam] Emily like Jemily, but the J is silent.
- Sam: [chuckles] Actually, Gemily is spelled with a G, usually.
- Jemily: Is it? Do you know any Gemilys?
- Eliot: Dude, you are never gonna believe this. A shrimp's heart is in its head. This is fucking tripping me out.
- Sam: Really, Cheech?
- Eliot: Yeah. Oh, sorry. You getting a contact high? You gonna be all seizuring out on me?
- Sam: I don't get seizures.
- Eliot: Mm-hmm. What do you call them again?
- Sam: They're marijuana-induced fits. It's a medical condition.
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