User reviews

The title is an invitation to watch some brain dead clowns get chased by fish with big teeth. Kitschy craziness is promised, and this latest in SyFy channel low budget mutant shark movies delivers enough to make the joke work.

The cast of look-alikes did a great job of spoofing their infamous reality show counterparts. The girl doing Snooki was a dead ringer for her. She and the others had their English-slaying "Joyzee" speech down pat, and the patented stupidity of JS's regulars was a good fit for this type of movie.

Enter the sharks. Like a zillion other movies like this made on the cheap, the sharks are the result of evil corporate America. The special effects were deliberately cheap and fake looking, and are so bad they're funny. Plenty of red dye gets tossed around, but no real grisly scenes, so the comic approach works.

Obviously not to be taken seriously. How can anybody fault sharks or be afraid of them for going after these dummies? If anything, you'll root for the sharks.

For reasons more complicated than I would want to explain, I ended up at a special big- screen premiere of "Jersey Shore Shark Attack" last night. The trailer for this TV movie event has been attracting considerable online derision lately, so I feel compelled to say that in a theater, surrounded by a crowd of the willing, it's actually pretty fun.

The cults that surround movies like "The Room" and "Troll 2" have created a weird sort of cottage industry centered around "so-bad-it's-good" entertainment. SyFy, which has lately been churning out deadpan goofs like "Mega-Shark vs. Giant Octopus", seems determined to enter those sweepstakes. But the appeal of something like "The Room" comes from the understanding that the movie was meant to be *good*. (Tommy Wiseau has since claimed otherwise, but seriously, come on.)

"Jersey Shore" and "Mega-Shark", by contrast, are pseudo-hip, self-aware entertainments, somewhere between Roger Corman's '60s beatnik spoof "Bucket of Blood" and a Z-grade Frankie Avalon beach party. Here and there they earn a laugh worthy of a good SCTV sketch. (In "Mega-Shark" it's the bit with the plane, and in this one it's the fate of ex-'N Syncer Joey Fatone.)

This isn't exactly great or even good cinema. On TV, without a live audience, this may well die the death. But low-budget quickies like this used to kill in a drive-in or a 99-cent grindhouse. With low expectations you forgive the clunkier jokes and appreciate the details (like the "Jaws" music cue during Tony Sirico's Quint speech). Fun was had and the profit margins were high-- so why exactly aren't there drive-ins anymore?

Many years ago, hundreds of locals and tourists were massacred by giant man-eating sharks in the infamous 1916 Jersey Shore attacks. But that was just a legend... or is it?

I love how the cover quote says this film is better than "The Avengers". Either that guy was paid a lot of money, was on some really good prescription medication, or was willing to sell his soul and lie just to get his name on the cover of a DVD.

I also love how the producer and second unit director is Fred Olen Ray, pretty much the modern master of the B movie. This film does not have Ray's style to it, though, so I am a bit curious which parts were second unit.

Sadly, I must confess that overall this was not a terrible movie. While more comedy than horror, they really pulled all the stops in capturing the "Jersey Shore" feel with muscles, guidos, and fake tans. The actors chosen were excellent for their respective parts, and even a few bigger names -- Paul Sorvino, Joey Fatone -- made appearances. I am a bit impressed.

Great film? No. But actually somewhat better than much of what the SyFy network produces.

Jersey Shore Shark Attack (2012)

** 1/2 (out of 4)

If you're looking for the mastery of Spielberg then it's best that you stay away from this flick but if you're just looking for some cheap entertainment then this here is without question one of the best films that SyFy has done (I know that's not saying too much). The story is pretty simple as the Jersey Shore comes under attack from some albino sharks over the July 4th weekend. JERSEY SHORE SHARK ATTACK works fairly well because the filmmakers were smart enough to realize that they were making a cheap, low-budget movie and it works best because it knows its limitations and instead of pretending to be something it's not, the film instead has fun with its targets. Of course the TV show Jersey Shore is under attack here and throwing in a knock-off of JAWS was just icing on the cake. I've never seen an episode of the television show but it's pretty hard to miss any of its cast members and I thought this movie did a pretty good job at making fun of them. The fighting, drinking, partying and various other things that they do were all spoofed pretty well here and we even get a Snooki wannabe in "Nooki" that is pretty darn funny. The entire spoof aspect of the film works extremely well and a lot of the credit has to go to the cast members who actually turn in good performances. Yes, by doing a spoof that allows the cast to overact and have some fun so that should be taken into credit. I'm not sure if any of them will have long careers but they can at least say they did a nice job here and especially Jeremy Luc as "The Complication" and Melissa Molinaro as Nooki. We even get Paul Sorvino (yes, the GOODFELLAS guy), Vinny Guadagnino and Joey Fatone making cameos. Fred Olen Ray produced this thing so that should tell you all you need to know. We get some pretty gory kills, which will make horror fans happy and we're also given some of the worst CGI effects that help add some laughs. The sharks themselves all look incredibly silly but they too add to the low-budget charm. JERSEY SHORE SHARK ATTACK is far from a masterpiece and it's not even a "good" movie but I give everyone involved credit for knowing what they were doing and at least delivering a fun movie.

I guess I'm being gracious in giving this movie a solid "4." But I'm not ashamed to say that I anxiously waited a week to see "Jersey Shore Shark Attack." As its title would imply, this straight-to-TV SyFy movie, directed by John Shepphird, is a direct, albeit semi-hip and self-knowing, rip-off of "Jaws" (1975) and a hilarious parody of MTV's hit reality TV series "Jersey Shore."

There's a special type of culture for a movie like this, and that is the people who like "movies that are so bad, they're good"; I'm not really in that crowd, just so you know. Yet in a wasteland of bad made-for-TV movies, it is quite possible that this is the best SyFy movie they've ever produced, which unfortunately does not say much about the channel's abysmal track record of weekly "Jaws" rip-offs as a whole.

I love "Jaws," and I'm not afraid to admit to being a viewer of the so-called social "degenerates" on "Jersey Shore"; how many of us truly have our shameless reality TV addictions? We all do. But you have to give the movie credit when it does feature one of the real-live genuine "Jersey Shore" cast members (Vinny Guadagnino) and a former boy band band-mate (Joey Fatone of *NSYNC) in self-knowing cameos as themselves.

A plot summary is pretty useless, but I'll go ahead anyway, in one sentence: During the Fourth of July weekend, prehistoric, deep-sea albino bullsharks are terrorizing Seaside Heights, New Jersey, and it's up to the hard-partying members of a "Jersey Shore"-like reality TV show to stop them. That's it. Although it's unlikely that you could ever count on the drunken beach-goers of Seaside Heights to save the day from man-eating sharks, SyFy is politely asking us to turn our brains off for two hours and enjoy the show.

"Jersey Shore Shark Attack's" merits (incredibly, yes, it does have a few) comes from its knowing self-awareness of its source material. The trick is combining the two sources effectively, and it does so. The movie begins like "Jaws" in its first five minutes, before going on to "Jersey Shore"-like debauchery and shenanigans with Shore-house cast-mate TC/"The Complication" (Jeremy Luc) waking up in bed after a drunken one-night stand with a bikini-clad local floozy, followed by a wet-&-wild wet T-shirt contest at a local bar. Things climax with a bar-room brawl between the Shore-house cast-mates and a group of upper-crust college grads, before comfortably moving back into "Jaws" territory when an ensuing foot-chase between the two conflicting parties down the boardwalk ends with one of the drunken locals becoming shark food.

The CGI special effects are pretty poor, but there are some spectacularly bloody shark attacks that are way more likely to elicit gut-busting laughs than screams. But I don't blame them; it is SyFy, after all.

"Jersey Shore Shark Attack" is a SyFy movie that is better than the rest of the crop of like-minded monster movies the channel is prone to putting out on a weekly basis. The keys to its marginal success are its attempts at combining "Jaws" with the outlandish antics of "Jersey Shore," complete with the requisite gory animal attacks of the former and the bad Italian-American stereotypes (complete with a Snooki-like character delightfully called "Nooki" and a guy with a Pauly D-styled blowout hairdo) of the latter.

Whoever dreamt up the crazy concept for this movie, I'd just like to shake his hand, for he has a cult classic that he can be more or less semi-proud of.

4/10

When a film starts off with "Come in, I won't bite you. Unless you want me to" and goes downhill from there you know you are in trouble.

Total waste of time, from the script (see above) to the special affects (sharks look like kids bathtub play things) , there is nothing good about this movie.

The acting is what you would expect from the TV show, so, umm, not good.

I think it is the first film I have seen in a while that I can think of nothing at all good to say about it.

SyFy channel are known for their cheesiness, they outdid themselves this time.

Unless you are a fan (and even then) avoid.

With a title like this and the fact it was being broadcast on the SyFy Channel I wasn't expecting a film cruelly passed over at the Academy Awards . I was expecting some dumb entertainment with all the rabidly aesthetic appeal of BAYWATCH

To be honest dumb entertainment where you have to switch your brain off is something I did get but the main disappointment is how on earth can a bunch of young women running around in bikinis be so unattractive ? The main bimbo is Nooki ( Stop laughing ) is under the impression that a man is only attracted to a women if she has a bronze skin tone . Let me speak on behalf of 3.5 billion men and state that beauty comes from the inside and not out of a bottle of instant suntan solution . Nooki's suntan is even more distracting and unconvincing than the CGI used in the movie

Sometimes movies are the most entertaining when they are at their most ridiculous. There have been numerous Shark themed movies and almost all of them have taken a strange silly approach with films like Sharktopus and the latest Jersey Shore Shark Attack. Can it possible deliver something of merit when you take the cheesy shark attack film and mix it with the unexplainably popular Jersey Shore premise?

Jersey Shore Shark Attack follows the Guido's of the Jersey Shore as they are forced to team up with the Preppies to fend off giant man-eating sharks as they return again for what was only thought to be legend of the 1961 Jersey Shore attacks. The premise pretty much says it all and delivers exactly what you think it will. This is by no means a good movie, but instead one of those that will appeal to the fans of the cheesy lame horror genre and most likely hated by everyone else. Designed as a spoof of the Jersey Shore series crumpled together with a low budget version of JAWS, this movie is actually pretty entertaining. As someone who cannot stand the Jersey Shore this movie not only satisfies with the mockery, but also gives the joy of watching them suffer the over the top demise of man eating sharks. This filmed aired as one of the SyFy channel movies, but does manage to sport much better effects than some of their previous films. There are some pretty decent kills, while the rest of them are so corny and over the top it is a blast that has to be seen.

Surprisingly enough this film sports a decent supporting cast of Jack Scalia, Paul Sorvino, William Atherton, Tony Sirico as well as cameos by Joey Fatone and Vinny Guadagnino, but still never seems to take itself too serious hence keeping the great cheese together. If you are fans of over the top cheese with films like Sharktopus or can't stand the Jersey Shore (like as well) then this is a must see bloody good time.

http://www.examiner.com/movie-in-dallas/bobby-blakey

Jersey Shore Shark Attack is so bad that it's good. As a die hard Jersey Shore hater I had to check this movie out for myself. Usually SyFy Original Movies are terrible and ripoff other movies This one is a crossover parody where they mashup Jersey Shore and a generic shark Attack SyFy Movie. I literally couldn't stop laughing at this movie. I nearly died from laughter.

The parodies of the Jersey Shore cast was excellent and gave the Italian stereotype the bad rap that Jersey Shore brings. You have to see this to believe it. I was more excited for Jersey Shore Shark Attack than for next week's movie, Piranhaconda. This movie is one of the better SyFy original movies out there.

I can't wait for the DVD.

Spoof of Jersey Shore, and Jaws is just as utterly ridiculous as it sounds, yet still the most fun that I've had with a SyFy film in quite some time. The preppies and guidos, usually mortal enemies must team up to fight off hungry albino sharks off the east coast over the fourth of July weekend.

Some nice gory deaths, funny moments (admittedly juvenile humor but I chuckled none the less) and a pace that never dulls combine for a good time, all the better if you have cold beer on hand. Made for Syfy movies have been pretty dire as of late so this was a much needed change of pace.

This is a movie which is SOOO atrociously bad that I am ashamed to rate it, let alone write a review. Don't even know where to start. The protagonists of the movie are despicable and hateful to watch "perform" in this atrocious movie. I read other reviews and am fully aware of the fact that this movie was made to be intentionally bad. But it's just an insult to sharks and good taste in general. And the "special" effects are to be abhorred.

In fact there is nothing good about this movie, he he, except a "spectacular" dancing scene somewhere in the middle. Yeah anyway what am I getting all upset about it. If people enjoy watching it and other people have fun making it, so what. Still a bad movie though.

Enjoy.

Dumb shark movies are a dime a dozen (have water, add shark, sprinkle with people in swimwear, and blend) but this one does it superbly well, and adds in some cheesy Jaws elements that I personally enjoyed.

Jersey Shore Shark Attack is an action, adventure film directed by John Shepphird. The film stars Jeremy Luke, Melissa Molinaro and Jack Scalia.

At the Jersey Shore, unchecked drilling brings killer sharks in direct contact with party-goers, most of whom do not live to tell the tale. But the ones that do have a hard time convincing others.

This B Grade film is bad infact very bad, the film has some pathetic and terrible VFX with some lame and irritating acting and a terrible climax.

The plot of the film is average and execution is terrible, the film has nothing fresh or exciting to offer and is a pathetic B grade film which should be avoided at any cost.

New Jersey shore's "Seaside Heights" residents get ready to celebrate the Fourth of July holiday. Meanwhile, cartoon-like sharks begin killing people. The animated creatures are called albino sharks and have an old score to settle. During the deadly heat-wave of 1916, the boardwalk construction attracted sharks with vibrations. After hefty former "N-Sync" singer Joey Fatone is attacked, everyone thinks the danger is over. But the sharks have an insatiable appetite. Body-builder Jeremy Luke (as TC, meaning "The Complication") and bronzed girlfriend Melissa Molinaro (as Nooki) are the stars. There is some humor attempted throughout this TV movie revision of the shark classic "Jaws" (1975). For a couple of reasons, the best part of this movie is the ending.

** Jersey Shore Shark Attack (6/9/12) John Shepphird ~ Jeremy Luke, Melissa Molinaro, Daniel Booko, Joey Russo

Concept/plot: Syfy channel shark attack movie meets Jersey Shore parody.

Going into the movie with that and only that on my mind, the movie works. Now, were these good choices for a movie? No. But key aspects of the movie to be on point to make it work: Shark Attacks Jersey Shore cast spoof You get both, one is significantly better than the other mind you. The shark Attacks are notoriously cheap, even for a Syfy movie. The spoof cast is on point. As a person who has seen about 5 min of JS, they do very well. I can instantly tell who they were to be. Are they annoying, yes, are their real world counter parts annoying, yes.

The plot overall is basic to these types of movies, and it's real draw creative wise, is the spoof. Is it a good movie? Average at best. Was it a good idea for a movie? No That coupled with the low budget, simply do this movie no favours.

RELEASED TO TV in 2012 and directed by John Shepphird, "Jersey Shore Shark Attack" spoofs the Jersey Shore TV show and "Jaws"-inspired shark attack movies. The plot concerns several seemingly super sharks unleashed to attack Jersey beaches due to underwater drilling.

Critics love to rag on this movie, but I guess they didn't get the memo that it's a parody. Not only is it entertaining as a spoof, but the writers add interesting and even heartwarming drama to the mix. Yet, it wouldn't have worked without the right cast and, in this regard, it delivers with a stalwart cast led by Jeremy Luke as The Complication (lol) and Melissa Molinaro as the striking-yet-superficial Nooki. Joseph Russo & Daniel Booko are on hand as TC's beach buds while Alex Mauriello & Audi Resendez appear as Nooki's besties. Tony Sirico plays TC's cop father and they have a quality story arc.

I liked how the rival preppie guys (Grant Harvey & Dylan Vox) are depicted as more formidable than geeky. Nooki asks Bradford (Harvey) at one point: "Why are you guys so materialistic?" He replies, "Because we have all the materials" (lol).

The movie scores high marks in the female department with Alex Mauriello as J-Moni & Laura Harrison as De'Angela standing out in "Whoa Mama!" fashion. There's also a surprisingly quality score that interestingly meshes "Terminator 2" (1991) with "Last of the Mohicans" (1992). Lastly, sure, the sharks are laughably cartoony and do unbelievable things, but that's all part of the charm of the satire. The bottom line is that the movie effectively entertains.

THE MOVIE RUNS about 88 minutes and was shot in Redondo Beach & Venice Beach, CA, with establishing shots of Seaside Heights, New Jersey. WRITERS: Michael Ciminera & Richard Gnolfo. ADDITIONAL CAST: Paul Sorvino & William Atherton appear as Jersey shore VIPs who put money above lives.

GRADE: B