Jezebeth

Some quick observations to begin with.

1) Damien Dante you freak...just make porn rather than "allude" to it.

2) I feel bad for the women that bore their breasts for this peace of crap. Good god why would you do this? Was Damien Dante that convincing.

3) Can we even call this a movie?

Spoiler alert...this is not a movie. This is just a bizarre fetish film strewn together because some dude in Illinois didn't have the talent to make something coherent. Like a porno.

I have seen some incomprehensible trash. I've seen The Room. I've even seen Birdemic. But this...this is just something bizarre. I heard bad things. I heard this was terrible, but the warnings weren't enough. I don't get how something like this was made. You just need to see for yourself. Yowza.

Where to start? Bad camera work, bad audio, next to no budget (which is fine), and no acting talent anywhere. This movie is from some 13 year old who saw a Mushroomhead music video and said "I can do that". This movie tries to be edgy in the worst ways. The intro to the movie is so long it is obvious it's just to pad out the runtime, same with the end credits. ADR is horrendous to put it lightly. The narrative doesn't make any sense whatsoever and everything just happens just so it can happen. But this movie will make you laugh even though it doesn't intend for you to do so. Watch....but watch it high.

No actors here. This is the worse acting I have seen in recent years. The premise of the movies sounds good but the acting is the real horror in this flick.

I've never seen the director's name before, but I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that he is a member of the awful metal band that appears in this movie. The whole thing is basically a music video and wouldn't be of any interest to anyone other than the band and their zero fans. There's really no movie here. In between songs the 'actors' argue with each other about religion, because, you know, being evil is a job requirement if you're going to be in a band.

I suppose the long pointless strip-club scene would have to be the highlight of the movie, but no, even that could've been better. If you are going to put strippers in your zero-budget shot-on-a-flip-phone piece of trash movie the strippers might as well go all the way, but no. Just T&A (and 3 or 4 terrible songs). The band sits in front of the stage and don't drop a single dollar.

Awful.