Noah (2014)
Ugh. The poor actors, pouring their hearts into this bloated, irrelevant movie. Yeah, the story is really good, at least the parts that we all know so well—the flood, the feeling of starting over, the human angst, or even the idea that there was another (evil) civilization before the flood which is now lost.
Director Darren Aronofsky is of course a creative force with a lot of admirers, and his films are always at least interesting. He took a lot of money here and used some innovative special effects, and he tried to take a slim story (Noah and the Ark) and make it an over-long epic movie, which is daring enough.
But it's not enough to spend a lot on special effects. Not enough to say profound nothings in serious intonations. Not enough to base the story on a great fable (or a bit of history if you're really going to think the flood happened the way it's portrayed) as if you can coattail your way into profit. Or respectability.
Cameron Crowe does a good job being a rugged survivalist in the wastelands that are supposedly the Mideast. (If it looks like Iceland, it's because it is.) His wife is Jennifer Connelly, who is given lines of script to read that make her superfluous (like she'll offer a good suggestion and Crowe, as Noah, says no, let's do it this way instead). Misogyny in action. The kids are archetypally pretty and do a fine job being that, and being there.
I sound almost bitter. It's just (largely) a boring waste. Of course there are, often, redeeming moments—dream sequences that are well done, or scenery that is visually beautiful. I like the idea of Noah struggling with his own values and issues. But this isn't enough to make the long movie work beyond its grandiose effects. Maybe the most interesting thing to happen is that an actual flood, from Hurricane Sandy, interrupted some of the filming in New York where the ark model had been built.
You know whether you like this kind of movie—the Avatar, Prometheus, Braveheart epics —and whether you'll like this one. Those are my least favorite kinds of movies, and this one went frankly the farthest into that overwrought territory. Good luck!
