Eaters

I'm going to keep this simple: This is NOT a good movie.

I'm not going to put any spoilers in here, because everyone else kinda did that. I'm not going to explain the characters or the story line, because others have done it, and there isn't really much to explain. But here's my take on it:

The story is bad, the camera work looks like someone shot it with an iPhone, the script seems like it's mostly ad lib, there is next to no gore at all (at least for a movie this bad, you would think that it would be heavy on the gore), the acting is HORRID, the characters are vastly underdeveloped, the interactions make no sense, the movie itself drags for the first half hour, and then when it picks up it is almost comical, there is NOTHING believable about this film--it's just a flat out mess.

I didn't give this a 1 because I've seen a LOT of bad movies in my day, especially of the horror genre. However, this movie didn't get a 1 out out of 10 simply because I've seen worse movies to compare it to, not because it wasn't really bad.

Read the other reviews, and compile them all into one. Everyone is telling the truth all at the same time, trust me. If you like rustic independent films shot by film students, then this is right up your alley. If for some reason you want to see a really good horror film, either just because you like horror films or because you want to kick Halloween off with a bang, don't waste your time.

I really wanted to like this film. The plot seemed decent and i found the villains pretty creepy. The acting in this film though is shockingly bad. I mean really, really bad. There isn't a good way to describe it other than it's like watching a high school play, but in all honesty most high school plays have better acting. Marcelle Bowman was the only decent actor in the cast. The dialogue and delivery was just horrible from everyone else in the movie. There are quite a few plot holes as well.

All in all, this could be a good candidate for a remake with some good actors and a new screen writer.

To start, if I could give it a zero, I would.

Absolutely terrible acting (yellow shirt and bad wig in particular, if you've already seen it) almost no plot to speak of, and heavy reliance on creepy masks in order to justify it as a "horror" movie, with no other actual horror or suspense to speak of.

Anyone who actually recommends this movie either played a hand in making it, is in denial, or possibly so extremely sheltered that this is the ONLY movie they have ever seen, and thus have nothing to compare it to.

If possible, I'd give it .000001 stars, because the only thing remotely scary about it is how terrible the acting and plot was.

As said many times before, this is not coming from anybody who takes pleasure in hating a movie. In fact, quite the opposite, this is coming from somebody who tries to see good in anything that's bad regardless of how strong any negative feelings are. Eaters is one of few movies in some time where there is nothing to say redeeming about it.

It is hard to say where Eaters failed most heavily, but the acting is a definite contender here. Atrocious isn't describing it enough, with the yellow T-shirt guy and the biker leader agreed tied for the worst performances, the former looking like he both didn't want to be there and didn't have a clue as to what he was doing and the latter is more irritating than menacing. Everybody looks disengaged and stumble constantly through their lines, giving the already crass and awkwardly written dialogue- that is enough to make even a toddler feel dumb- even less fluidity than it already suffered from. The cardboard, stereotypical characters were not worth giving a toss about, they're all annoying and the bikers have no sense of presence and instead behave like idiots. The missing girl isn't on screen anywhere near long enough to make one care properly about the situation the characters are on or the basic story.

The story is another massive failing, there is nothing scary, suspenseful or tense about it, structurally it's choppy, a lot of scenes are so mind-numbingly stupid and pointless it was insulting and it just drags on and on with scenes stretched to interminability. There is nothing competent about the direction, which is literally all at sea, nor about the filming. The opening is alright, but everything else visually is unfocused to a dizzying degree, was starting to wonder whether the cameraman was drunk or something. Scenery is basic and drably lit, and the sound is so flat that hearing what was being said was difficult and sometimes like somebody trying unsuccessfully to tune a radio.

Overall, horrendously bad with nothing good to say in its favour. As someone who tries to be fair when viewing films/movies/shows Eaters really has to be one of the worst movies seen in quite a long time. 0/10 Bethany Cox

I wanted to turn it off from the start but stopped myself from doing so because I wanted to see what happened. I wanted to know what they were. From the title I just assumed they were zombies or something, but I was wrong. The story line is the same story that we have been seeing and hearing for years. I sit here all of the time wondering when they are going to come up with new ideas. They keep making the same boring stuff over and over and over again. *yawn* Anyway, the acting was so bad that I wonder if they even know how off key and bad they actually sound when they are saying their lines. Honestly, I don't know what was worse, the boring over used story line, the bad acting or the biker dude's ugly fake hair. Oh well, if you want a good movie, this isn't it. If you want to waste some time, this is the movie for you. Bad, just bad.