Heroes

Based on the CERN studies on the Large Hadron Collider LHC which took place in 2012 / 2013...

Really a bad work by commercial TV station RTL. Bad actors, bad requisite, bad story, non-elaborated technical and scientific approach, just awful and I really mean this the bad way... Special effects down to zero, if there would be a minus rating scale -10 i would give it a -9.

So basically Germany is saving the world. Switzerland lets itself bomb by an atomic bomb, which England wants to drop on the CERN. At the end a German pilot is on the way to drop the nuke... what a logic... but see yourself.... 2h 30min real crap!

And the worst is what I got. I know that it was wrong to have any kind of expectations, but this is worse than any other German films I've ever seen before.

While effects and camera work are "decent" (not good but a lot better than what you usually get here), the script for this movie was ridiculous. Introducing thousands of characters without any meaning or sense (I couldn't even remember half of their names, most didn't really serve any purpose at all), bad acting and pseudo tragedy... I wanted to laugh it off but it almost made me cry and ashamed of my country's film industry.

I do recommend watching this movie though, if you are interested in getting into the industry and need to learn what you should NOT do when making a movie.

Jesus Christ. this is by far the worst movie i have seen. the actors are just horrible. at no time i believed somebody actually performed his role. what the hell is wrong with the people who took part in this movie. they must have seen that this is going to end badly. German movies have never been the best, we had some good ones. but this is a complete failure.

next time you better take this money you got from the movie fonds and give it to people that can do something more viable with it. like feeding people in third world countries.

i registered a IMDb just to write this review - you are very welcome RTL.

One of the most entertaining movies I've seen all year for all the wrong reasons.

The story is simple: satellites start to fall from the sky and the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland has accidentally created a tiny black hole that is threatening Europe and a small group of children who just inexplicably happened to be visiting the place that very day. Not the worst set-up for a Roland Emmerich-type flick: a vaguely realistic set-up, over-the-top special effects, family drama in the times of catastrophe and cheesy heroism. However, "Heroes" took the competence and massive budget of the Hollywood disaster porno genre and replaced it with awful acting, a baffling script (complete with some uncomfortably patriotic lines from our dear chancellor) and a stunning lack of understanding in the fields of geography, geology, astronomy, computers, telecommunications and physics. How gravity actually works seems to elude the makers of this "film". To put it shortly: an absolute train wreck, that tries its hardest to use every cliché in the book and rip off every Roland Emmerich flick ever made but fails spectacularly.

To put it even shorter: it's glorious!

Absolutely everything in this movie is wrong, it has to be seen to be believed! I watched it with a good friend of mine, we had a couple of beers and at times laughed so hard we missed entire segments of dialog. The amount of stupid put into every vibrant piece of this masterful mosaic of awfulness is simply inspiring and might warrant a second viewing. If you are a trash-fan, this is your El Dorado. If you are a science aficionado, who loves to tear the implausibilities of popcorn movies apart, you will be kept busy and your brain might be slowly transformed into some kind of blissful yellow mush. If you just want to watch a good, entertaining movie you will be in great pain and I pity your soul.

So, in conclusion I am not sure if I should give "Heroes" 1 or 10 stars. It is a marvelously dire use for your spare two hours if you expect an actual movie, but if you can get behind a lovable trash extravaganza, like battlefield earth or plan 9 from outer space I wholeheartedly recommend it. "Heroes" is so bad it's genius. It's the best kind of bad, there's not a single boring moment and the makers clearly tried to create an epic masterpiece to celebrate the German Unification day (October 3, the date this was broadcast) which makes their incompetence all the more gratifying for adherers of Schadenfreude and connoisseurs of the fine taste of bad cinema. "Heroes" has been tailor-made from the get-go to dissolve on impact into a sad, sticky liquid of failure, for us to wallow in and die a happy pile of human goo.

My rating of 5 represents the middle of the road. My cineaste-self gave it a 1, my Ed Wood-fanboy self gave it a 10 so to speak. Choose for yourself.

This movie is so awfully bad that it is great again. Grab yourself a bunch of physicists, hard liquor and try to follow the epic plot of this miracle. Prepare for a movie so bad that it could not even get product placement and had to relabel the Mars bars in the vending machines. We had to pause every once in a while to recap and discuss how this is not how things are supposed to work. So this is one of Germany's most expensive TV productions meaning some states chipped in and demanded that therefore they have to be in this movie. This explains why the so called heroes have to pick cucumbers in the beginning before travelling all over the country on their way to Geneva, and also there are people trapped in a mine somewhere for reasons. Part of the story takes place at an unspecified accelerator in Geneva because CERN rightfully felt insulted when being approached to lend the name to this movie and was having none of it. I don't want to spoil the rest of the plot and just realized I am wasting my time writing a review for this thing.

You might like this movie if: you are a physicist with a taste for bad movies need to kill time at a test beam played half-life 2 and want to see how it ends like sharknado or really bad movies in general