Terry Crews credited as playing...
Chico
- Ramon: So, do you new brothers have any special skills that could help us out here tonight?
- Chico: Like what?
- Ramon: Like you know, Tommy's good with knives, Lil Pete's got a bonus nipple, I got a burro, Herm is good at strangling.
- Danny: I can hold my breath for six minutes.
- Chico: Well, I can play the piano with my dick.
- Tommy aka White Knife: Well, we're unstoppable then.
- Tommy aka White Knife: [Running between base plates] Where you going, nobody hit it.
- Abner DoubleDay: I stole the base. You weren't looking so I stole it.
- Chico: You said you could only advance after you hit the ball!
- Abner DoubleDay: Not when you're stealing.
- Short Stop: That's bullshit.
- Abner DoubleDay: OK, Short Stop.
- Tommy aka White Knife: Any of you handsome brothers ready to go steal a big hunk of gold?
- Chico: I'm ready.
- Ramon: I'm hungry.
- Danny: I'm drunk.
- Lil' Pete: And I'm Lil Pete.
- Herm: [unintelligible]
- Tommy aka White Knife: Let's get that nugget then...
- Frank Stockburn: Boy, you got your mom's muscles. You a prizefighter?
- Chico: No, actually, I'm a... piano player.
- Abner DoubleDay: Let's play ball. Welcome, my friends, to the first ever playing of a new sport. A sport of my own devising. On this field, two ten-person teams will engage in a battle of... Yes, Qi?
- Qi: Only 18 people here.
- Abner DoubleDay: Two nine-person teams will engage in a battle of strength, speed, and strategy. One team will go out onto the field to play defense while the other team will take turns hitting this ball... with a stickie.
- Chico: What are you gonna call this game?
- Abner DoubleDay: What else? Stickie McSchnickens. Now your goal, ball thrower, is to get the ball past me two times without my hitting it. Fire when ready.