A Madea Christmas (2013)

Tyler Perry: Madea

Photos 

Quotes 

• Madea : I didn't mail you my work, you ain't gonna mail me no check.

• Conner : [Madea's milking cows]  That one never lets me milk her.

  Madea : The black and white one over there?

  [Madea and Buddy laugh] 

  Madea : Son, if somebody grabs your testicles, do you squirt out milk?

  [laughs] 

  Madea : Don't answer that. That's a bull!

• Eileen : [to Madea who's come in with Buddy and Conner while she was in the kitchen with Kim]  You were out there a long time. I felt conflicted. I didn't know whether to go look for you, or keep an eye on our food.

  [about Kim] 

  Eileen : I didn't let her near the food!

  Madea : You whisper like a damn bullhorn!

• Lacey : This is Conner.

  Madea : Why the coroner here? Who died?

• Madea : [to a woman looking for lingerie]  You don't want to be walking around with a slingshot up your butt.

• Madea : I didn't take my medicine today.

  Eileen : What medicine?

  Madea : 5 milligrams of 'Don't Choke a Ho'.

• Buddy : [about Conner and Eileen]  He told her to get her ass in that truck.

  Madea : What she do?

  Buddy : Got her ass in that truck!

  [they laugh] 

• Madea : [to Eileen]  I go to the bathroom 3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10 times a night, got to squirt a little pee. How the hell am I gonna go to the bathroom with you got all that furniture pushed against the door?

  [Eileen hands her a cup] 

  Madea : What the hell is this for? I can't sit on this damn cup!

  Eileen : Then stand up!