User reviews

Loosely based on the Spanish rom-com 'Seres Queridos' ('Only Human') in which a Palestinian boy meets his Jewish girlfriend's family, Total Siyapaa explores the India-Pakistan cultural divide through the relationship of Aman (Ali Zafar) and Asha (Yami Gautam), set in London. Everything in their relationship is picture perfect, till Asha invites Aman to meet her family over dinner. Asha's family goes crazy when they come to know that Aman is a Pakistani. The chaos begins and Aman finds himself in nightmare, which just doesn't seem to be ending!

The first half of the movie is a breezy comedy of errors, with some sharp dialogues and funny situations. But second half goes on an entirely different tangent that doesn't tie in with the first half. After a while, the screenplay seems super stretched, with too many pointless sub-plots. Even when the movie is less than two hours one wishes that at least 15 minutes more were edited. Also other than a few dialogues that evoke a hearty laugh rest just fail to make any impact.

Performance wise, Kiron Kher steals the show, playing the loud Punjabi paranoid mother with perfect comic timing, barring a few scenes where she overacts

Ali Zafar plays himself, a musician from Pakistan, offering nothing new in his poker face type of performance. He still has the natural charm and is likable as the confused, ill-fated Pakistani boyfriend stuck in a crazy situation.

Yami Gautam's character, as the Indian Hindu love interest, was poorly written and she did not have much scope to perform. Also, there was no chemistry between Ali and Yami. On the other hand, watching the interactions between Zafar (the damaad) and Kher (the mother-in-law-to- be) together on screen were an absolute delight.

Anupam Kher is completely wasted and it is sad to see an actor of his talent play a silly, cameo- ish role in Total Siyapaa. New-find Sara Khan comes across seductive. Other actors were plain and bland.

Anupam Kher and his real life wife Kiron Kher play the on screen couple for the first time and their chemistry and pairing has not been properly exploited in the movie.

Total Siyapaa has a very telefilm or theatric look and feel and director Eeshwar Nivas has made the entire flick in essentially three sets and the entire cast has donned one outfit throughout. Outcome of a low budget more then the script's demand, because the artists are also badly styled.

Music is strictly average and not very memorable - although 'Palat meri jaan' is enjoyable and compliments the plot.

Total Siyapaa is really a major chaos. Overall, the best moments from Total Siyapaa were already shown in the snappy promos and a very interesting concept is churned out as strictly average movie lacking charm, spark and humor.

'Total Siyapaa' is funny, but only in bits! It has some hilarious moments, but they are limited only till its first-hour. A weak second-hour plays a spoilsport.

'Total Siyapaa' Synopsis: Settled in London, Aman hopes to marry Asha, an Indian woman also based in London. He visits her parents' house to seek their permission to marry her. However, his plans to impress the family start failing when they discover that he is a Pakistani.

'Total Siyapaa' begins superbly & the first-hour has some genuinely hilarious moments. The Hindu-Pakistani conflict works hugely. However, things go down in its second-hour. The pace drops & even the humor is clearly missing in this hour. In short, a winning first-hour gets effected due a to weak second.

Neeraj Pandey's Screenplay gets it right in the first-hour, but lacks merits in the second-hour. E. Nivas's Direction is fair. Cinematography, Editing & Art Design, are decent.

Performance-Wise: Ali Zafar is likable. He enacts the caught-up protagonist nicely. Yami Gautam is charming. Kiron Kher is simply awesome. She emerges the real scene-stealer here! Sara Khan is credible. Anupam Kher is wasted.

On the whole, 'Total Siyapaa' works, but only in till a point.

When I first caught the preview of this film "Total Siyappa", it seemed a fun and entertaining film, the concept was new, the songs were good and there was a good amount of humor and romance.

But after spending or I should say wasting 1hour 45mins on this movie, I can't find a single reason to appreciate this movie, the script was idiotic, didn't expect that, since Neeraj Pandey was associated with this movie. The film has no story at all, some Scattered events sewed together, which were supposed to make sense, but they seldom do. The movie progresses very slowly and by the second Half it gets super boring and starts to fall apart.

The acting was average, Ali Zafar tried but doesn't actually click, Yami Gautam was all smiles and nothing else, only Kiron Kher did something good in acting department rest were all were bland. In the second half Anupam Kher appears but I don't have a single clue What he was doing in the movie, it's rather annoying to see such a talented actor's potential not utilized.

The movie also tried to tackle the India-Pakistan issue, but it all seemed pointless, at the conclusion, I would say it's a "total" waste of time and money.

Total Siyapaa is Total wastage of time, a torture to watch because it was so boring and slow moving.

It has been a Massive disappointment.

The only face saving is the last song at credits.

Ali Zafar's 'Tere bin Laden' was funny and well executed. Total Siyapaa on the other hand is not. It is sad because it could have been a good movie, however, I constantly had the feeling of a movie made with no real effort put in to it, poor direction, overacting and bad dialog with even worse delivery. Rest of the family felt the same also.

Save yourself, watch something else.

Total Siyapaa- 2014 Director: Eeshwar Nivas

Total Siyapaa' is funny, but only in bits! It has some hilarious moments, but they are limited only till its first-hour. The songs were good and there was a good amount of humor. There is not a single reason to appreciate this movie, the script was idiotic, didn't expect that, since Neeraj Pandey was associated with this movie. The film has no story at all, some Scattered events sewed together, which were supposed to make sense, but they seldom do.

To be honesty I'm a huge fan of Ali Zafar but I was astonished to see the movie that what on Earth made him do this film. No proper plot and story, poor direction. Not recommended.

Despite the giddy pace, it soon becomes clear that there's not enough of a story here, merely a string of gags. The thin plot is stretched out until it collapses under the weight of its contrivances, squandering a good cast, particularly Kirron Kher as the shrill Mummyji. Such a shame that the film's central conflict evaporates conveniently and unconvincingly in a hurried, all-too-neat finale. Funny, but in a pedestrian sort of way. While the promos of the film prepare you for a laugh-riot, what unfurls on screen doesn't keep you in splits through and through. Initially, yes, the humor works, especially when Ali meets his prospective mother-in-law Kirron Kher, but thereafter, a few sporadic instances apart, several episodes fall flat. On the whole, TOTAL SIYAPAA appeals in bits and spurts. You expect a laugh-riot, but what comes across on screen is half-baked.

Movie yet again promotes classic narrative of love jih ad I will love to see a movie with Muslim girl with Hindu or Sikh man

the only thing that kept me awake was cute actress . The plot is little for the hours devoted in showcasing it . some scenes are awkward to watch with family. Yami gautam looks wonderful in all scenes . Characters behave exaggeratedly . no laughing moment other than those shown in its advertisement . nothing seems logical . emotions do not explain the outcome . Some TV serials are far more interesting than this , at least they end sooner. the turn of events is unexplained . Movie is low budget as things happen inside closed spaces .Some scenes are interesting but their presentation does not bring out the inner sarcasm .

Zero rating cannot be given so left it by giving 1 star.

Is it an Oscar worthy masterpiece? No. But it's an amazing comedy. At times it makes no sense, it can be very dumb but in a very fun and laughable way. Defiantly worth checking out!

Because it chiefly talks about the poor international relationship between Pakistan & India. It makes fun of it; in every sequence, the lead couple debate as to why India & Pakistan is better in their own way. The comedy genre was lost somewhere in the middle.

Ali Zafar should just stop appearing in films; he is a good musician, why not stay as is? Yami Gautami's second stint in Bollywood is below average. But this is not where the film goes wrong. The lead actresses's family is a weird lot, having a prejudice for everything not Punjabi.

When thespians like Kirron & Anupam Kher act so badly, portraying characters that are not only half-baked but also illogical, you should get a fair idea where the film is moving. Then you have another hot- doll, which seems to be one the makers' daughter: flashing her figure all over the frame, flirting with her on-screen sister's fiancé simultaneously taking care of her over-smart child.

The father of the family is missing. Instead of being serious and and trying to find him, you have the wife making fun of her spouse's habits, the daughter drunk-dancing on top of a table, the son getting in a fight with Pakistanis and then befriending them, etc..

No script, poor direction, spontaneous dialogs, useless songs, no chemistry, poor editing and a very bad screenplay. The whole premise is so far from logic, I would've barfed if I would have stayed a minute longer in the theater. Who makes such movies? And I hear the producers of A Wednesday & Special Chabbis came together for this one. Well, terrible. Few humorous scenes made me chuckle 2-3 times, but that's it.

BOTTOM LINE: Never have I seen such an idiotic movie with no single factor to consider that after it got over, I looked at my partner and our expressions matched perfectly: that of disgust.

Director Mr. Eshwar Niwas work is just average. Idea is cute. Screenplay is OK but gags in the screenplay are good. Dialogues are impressive. Maximum humor comes out only due to very good dialogues. Credit goes to writer Neeraj Pandey. Length of this movie, which is 1.45 hours, is too short according to Hindi cinema. Even it drags at too many places. First half is good but second half is loose. There are lots of scenes which are abrupt, i.e Suddenly memory loss and again memory gain, both are pushed just to create humor. This track is boring and lengthy. They inform that grandfather hears loud but all talks to him in normal way. Even he is blind but he can target gun and play with knife! Track of Pakistani neighbour is also weak and pushed one. Performance wise Ali Zafer is very good. His voice modulation is amazing and it set the mood of scene very well. Yami Gautem is good. Kirran Kher is fine. Sara Khan as Jia Singh is OK. Anupam Kher is wasted. Music is OK. Total Siyapaa, tera pyar track is good.

One sentence to wrap up the whole film is " A genuine forceful effort to make people laugh (Only possible on Gun Point)". Ali Zafar's 4th Movie (2nd disaster in sequence) is out and finally the fans are disappointed again. The whole plot from start till the end was beyond apprehension. One feels tortured and painful while watching this so called comedy flick. The idea to shoot the movie in one night, one dress and one go is poorly conceived, weakly written, immaturely directed and childishly portrayed. The characters appear in a haphazard manner. The cast was quite limited. The scope remained narrow, dialogs highly unimpressive and acting substandard. The father of the heroine (Yami) is missing, brother fighting with Pakistani neighbor (without any good reason), sister is acting weird (crushing on Ali and at the same loving her husband and the mother is making a joke of her husband while he is missing. Ali Zafar should quit movies immediately and concentrate on his music. Acting is probably out of his league. Yami Gupta was not seen as fresh as she was (I mean it is an achievement to shoot the complete movie in only one dress without any definite reason). Kirron Kher was OK but Anupam Kher was not seen at all in the movie (invisible character) The idea of India Pakistan tussle among a love couple surely would have achieved a great success and a nice movie if conceived and directed with some sense. Such ventures only add frustration to the audience and adds another disappointment to the flop charts numbers in the Bollywood. I do not recommend this movie to watch even when you don't have anything to watch. A failure with two thumbs down !!!

well i had high hopes with this move i just love Ali zafar and yami and was expecting this movie to be super doooper hit, me n my four other mates went to watch this movie it start well like first 10 minutes n then we were trying to find out any funny scene to laugh there were few scenes but they weren't enough to make this movie watchable and the topic was just too good a thing between Pakistan and India and there could had been many many things that could had made this movie special but sorry to say Ali, yaami n anupam kher all good actors but there talent was wasted in this movie. ANUPAM KHER didn't said a single word in this movie?

A few weeks before when I was told that the upcoming film TOTAL SIYAPAA is an official remake of a Spanish comedy ONLY HUMAN aka SERES QUERIDOS (2004), I eagerly watched the original and was in big doubts as the script required a great amount of transformation suiting our Indian mindsets. The film had its entire story progression based on a typical element of foreign humour which essentially demanded a complete Indian makeover undoubtedly and therefore I was excited enough to see that how they are going to do that in TOTAL SIYAPAA. Moreover since the film was written (adapted) as well as co-produced by Neeraj Pandey, the mastermind behind A Wednesday & SPECIAL 26, along with Eshwar Niwas being there as the director, I was expecting it to be at least a decent entertainer with some fresh interesting faces brought together.

But unfortunately what the team offered in those approximately 110 minutes was way below the mark or hugely disappointing, with the main culprit being the writing only, which is nothing but a scene to scene adaptation of its original Spanish film using the same elements of foreign humour, weirdly. In short we only get the nationalities changed here to Indians and Pakistanis, whereas the rest remains almost the same with only few minor additions by the makers. And certainly that is the reason why one feels like hugely disconnected while watching it and doesn't get what was promised by its exciting promos in terms of family confusions, lovable fights and enjoyable humour served well in the short duration of less than 2 hours.

Talking about a family set in London, the film begins on a very routine note with a melodious love song coming in its first few minutes itself. A predictable, forced in sequence involving a Mr. Bean look-alike policeman comes next, which simply fails to generate any kind of laughter at all. And then the immensely likable Kiron Kher is there with some good entertaining sequences in the first 30 minutes. But soon, she also falls in the same trap of 'tough to relate foreign humour' after a while and the film starts moving on a downward swing from here on.

Actually what hurts you the most, while watching TOTAL SIYAPAA is that the film never picks up post its initial good moments and stays in that same state of 1st or 2nd gear only throughout. The screen says interval in just about 50 minutes and the veteran Anupam Kher actually makes an entry in the second half.

The visible disconnection with the happenings on the screen continues to be the major drawback of the film, especially post interval and one doesn't feel like enjoying its any supposedly funny scene in reality. The soundtrack does have a few melodious tracks such as 'Palat Meri Jaan' and 'Nahi Maloom' but they make no contribution in the overall impact of the film at all. Following a very questionable pattern, the director strictly follows whatever is there in the Spanish version as it is, like the problem created by the soup bowl, a little girl posing as pregnant, the father's experience with the hookers and even the colleagues playing kinky in the office shown in the exact manner, which fails to make any kind of impact on the audience. Moreover even the Cinematography & Background score departments also take a lot of inspiration from its original source, probably skipping the tougher path of trying something new.

In the performance section, Ali Zafar suits the role perfectly and he tries his best looking fresh & involved. Kirron Kher once again delivers a polished but routine performance of a Punjabi mother and Yami Gautam leaves a positive impact as the gorgeous young lady in her second film too. As the blind grandfather, Vishwa Mohan Badola could have been used in a better way. Anuj Pandit Sharma gets nothing much to do playing the brother-in-law and Sagar Arya (Brother) overacts in his short role. Surprisingly Anupam Kher gets utterly wasted in a very silly kind of character and he is just there in few scenes towards the end only playing the lost father.

However the one actor who simply catches your attention right from her first scene itself remains Sara Khan, playing Yami's elder sister. In fact her act rightly proves that apart from the looks, its only the writing which can bring forward any single character out of a whole bunch of actors in a particular scene. The girl looks stunningly attractive and I truly found it amazing that despite Yami Gautam being there, my eyes were still searching for Sara Khan as she did manage to reach out to the audience much better than anyone else on the screen unarguably.

In all TOTAL SIYAPAA is a big letdown, particularly when it is coming from Neeraj Pandey and I was really surprised that its entire screenplay was not re-written but just adapted as it is from its Spanish original without putting in any serious thought, resulting in such a mediocre product.

Ali zafar acting is the strongest point. Pandey derives inspiration from a Spanish film Seres Queridos, in which the conflict between the Palestinian boy and his girlfriend's Jewish family was served in a feisty feast of farcical episodes, all meant to draw humour from the dysfunctional family's dysfunction.In the Hindi adaptation, the Pakistani boy is utterly and delectably lost in his girlfriend's Punjabi home in London.Director Eeshwar Niwas, who had earlier adapted the ransom caper "Ruthless People" in a reasonably watchable film Love Ke Liye Kuch Bhi Karega, uses London's night scape as a beguiling backdrop to the Punjabi family's bickering. Ironically, the plot loses its liberal air once out on the streets.Anupam Kher's tryst with a British hooker is sadly unanchored.It's one evening in the family's history. The script brings out the eccentric characters and their whimsical ways with the kind of pleasure that a housewife experiences while serving up her husband's favourite dishes although she may not be too good at the cooking.A lot of the humour simply sags in soggy lumps. There is a distinctly 'European' flavour and fervour to the unravelling of the comic mode in the dysfunctional family's life.

Total Siyapaa is total fun. An audacious comedy that dares to poke fun at a border issue. Ali Zafar out performs others and delivers excellent acting skills. Story is good. Yami also acts well. songs are chart buster. Kiron Kher super. Anumpam Kher fills the spot. Picking on this pert premise screenwriter Neeraj Pandey does a special 69 on cross-border politics. Borderline tensions are defused to the point until we see just the ludicrous futility of cultural bickering. It's a delicious idea to build a plot around.

Pandey derives inspiration from a Spanish film "Seres Queridos", in which the conflict between the Palestinian boy and his girlfriend's Jewish family was served in a feisty feast of farcical episodes, all meant to draw humour from the dysfunctional family's dysfunctional ism. Direction very good. overall excellent movie.Great movie to enjoy this weekend.

Total Siyapa

Ali Zafar has worked in many Bollywood movies. He is surely a talented actor and singer and writer. At the beginning of the movie, Pakistan is degraded. Also, the actor in the movie Aman (Ali Zafar) is considered suspicious just because of the fact that he is a Muslim and a Pakistani. I think this discrimination of showing Pakistan is lower than India or something like that, Bollywood movies should avoid this.

Anyway, at the end of the movie, those Pakistani and Indian boys become friends. It really was a beautiful thing. Also, Asha (Yami Gautam) and Aman (Ali Zafar) hug, and it ends at a happy ending. Watched this movie for the second time. Ali Zafar is always great 👍🏻.