Monster Mash

So bad I was laughing at myself for even watching until the end!

Like someone else mentioned it could have been great with the characters involved but the story is just all over the place and makes no sense at what some of their purpose is to assist Dracula get his daughter back and stop Frankenstein. They just seem to tag along lol! The guy who plays Dracula is probably the best thing about the movie, I feel bad that he was reduced to this role.

I literally couldn't stop laughing at how bad it was and then I just thought, well it's given me a good laugh at least.

Take it with a pinch of salt I'd say ;)

Plot

Dracula, Werewolf, and the Invisible Man must work together to stop Dr. Frankenstein from creating an unstoppable monster.

Cast

Michael Madsen in the death throes of his career in a movie made by the same guy who gave us two awful Hansel & Gretel films and reached such pinnacles as Mega Shark vs. Mecha Shark!

Verdict

Did you ever watch the mega cheesy Monster Mash The Movie from the mid 90's? Me neither though I remember seeing the trailer and thinking it looked awful. I'll put my life savings down now that movie is better than this one!

Unsurprisingly an Asylum movie, Monster Mash sees most of the classic movie monsters collide in a movie advertised as a horror but let me assure you couldn't be further from. It's like an unintentional comedy and a stupidly campy one at that.

A vampire, Dracula, Frankenstein, Frankensteins monster, wolfman, the invisible man and of course a mummy. How could this possibly be bad? Well, very easily now you ask. I mean, it's an Asylum movie the better question is surely how could it possibly be good?

The acting is hilariously poor, Madsen included as this man just doesn't try anymore and why should he? He's gone from big Hollywood mainstay to will do anything for a dollar.

The story is contrived, the execution is dreadful and I found myself simultaneously cringing and wincing at the same time throughout.

Who are these movies aimed at? Too violent for kids, too dumb for adults.

Rants

One day someone needs to sit me down and explain how The Asylum movies make money. They can't make enough off the backs of people accidentally buying their movie instead of the one they're mockbustering surely! I've seen countless and am confident they'd reach an average of the early 3.0's if I totaled them all up. Then again are they any worse than ITN, Uncorked, Scyfy themselves? Awful, awful stuff.

The Good

Well, there's a lot going on

The Bad

Dreadful acting It's all so, stupid Seeing Madsen in a film like this is unsurprising but still sad Did I mention how stupid it all is?

Who was the audience supposed to be? The horror crowd?...it failed. The drama crowd?....nope. The comedy/parody vultures? Heck no.

Of course, it is low budget and Michael Madsen is broke but that notwithstanding this is terrible. It has not redeeming features. The acting is terrible. The script is weary. The effects are poor. The direction amateurish. The lighting and cinematography lack any kind of subtlety. It really is is first class horse you know what.

So why not give it one? Well at least they tried. Making coherent and professional movies on this budget must be difficult and almost impossible to get In cinemas.

Doesn't stop it being rubbish though.

Seriously.. if you didn't/don't enjoy this movie, it's because you take life way too seriously. Yeah, the movie is campy as hell. It's not meant to be a big budget, hollywood horror fest. It's a cheesy, campy, low budget, b-movie good time. It's comical. It's fun. It's entertaining. If you are looking for serious... try the news networks. You'll get plenty of horror there.

My one and only complaint is the same complaint that I have for most every single movie made post-2000... BUY A LIGHT BULB! And I don't want to hear that this is supposed to be "back in the day" before they had electric lights. First, movies set in this era have been made for decades and they were lit perfectly fine, thank you very much! Secondly, there are literally electric lights in Dr. Frankenstein's laboratory. Most of the movie is so dark, you might as well close your eyes and you'd still get the same effect.

Other than that, if you are just looking for a good movie night flick, you could do much worse!

I saw the title and art and that was it.

I started off and I understood it was low budget. That's not my problem with it. I actually like Draculas delivery and there were some scenes I think were shot well. The Invisible Man also stood out.

Issues were its consitency. The story flow was bad. The points to move the plot forward flopped. I wish I had more characters to describe how irrational upset I was at this movie. This had a great premise and it failed to give anyone developmenm. Without spoilers I just feel they could have done a lot more for The Mummy, who I felt was just a tag along the whole way. Same with the Werewolf. This was Draculas movie and the Invisible Man helped him get there.

I honestly would have loved this movie if it sat in the camp, but it pulls away so often and takes itself seriously. Its attempts in parts to be an homage to classics didn't work out. The part with CGI was bad, but it reminded me of old 40s stop motion, so that gets no bad marks from me.

Wasted potential. Funny bits. I MST3Kd it with a friend, which took it from a 2 to a 5 for me. Cleaning up the story, embracing the camp, giving more of the characters things to do would have sent me over the moon.

I want to see more from Ethan Daniel Corbett.

Could have been an Are you Afraid of the Dark episode. Thats what this movie was.