The Baltimorons

"Baltimorons" is so convincing, so nuanced, so "gritty" that some people might night think it's a Romantic Comedy but it has all the elements: an improbable couple starts as love-hate; they bicker; have hi-jinks, break up and bond. This film is a little dark for the genre but that's hardly new ground.

The two protagonists are damaged, lovable, complex, irritating. Importantly, I found myself completely "getting" them as a couple, as the movie progressed. And this was no easy task -- they are a very bad fit for each other.

I wish movies would cast more genuine beauties like Liz Larsen. And by "genuine" I mean the people who are attractive in the real world, not Hollywood. I find it irritating when a Hollywood movie has a "homely girl" who, in the real world, was the most beautiful girl at their high school. Liz Larsen is real-world attractive -- which is not a qualified compliment. It's higher standard, in my opinion.

Similarly, Michael Strassner is real-world charming. He's not George Clooney, he's the funniest guy in your office. And he is genuinely funny -- often as a coping or self-defense tool. I found myself laughing out-loud (although I was sometimes the only one in the theater.) The gritty feel of the movie lets the humor catch you off-guard but that's another real-life aspect of the move. Like laughing in the hospital.

The characters' internal damage and dysfunction are also real-world stuff -- addiction, woundedness, cynicism, guardedness, personal chaos, pettiness. If you don't have these, you know somebody who does. When the characters build a functional relationship with these very familiar challenges, I found it tremendously hopeful.

The supporting characters are all good, even though they are given little runway for it. Olivia Luccardi does a good "I'm angry and done but I still love you." role. DiDi's ex-husband and new wife (names?) were a stand-out. They play "Creeps but not evil." well. In lesser movies, you wonder, "What did she ever see in him?" Not this movie.

Lastly, I've never been to Baltimore but the movie seems authentic -- Jonathan Bregel shoots it as both a mess and beautiful. I could totally imagine why people make good lives there, despite it's reputation.

If I had any criticism, it's the plot, which is mostly, "This happened. Then that happened and then another thing..." I would have preferred more structure. I suspect this was intentional -- improv is a major theme and the plot is a series of situations that the characters react to... "Yes. And..."

If you watch movies for escapism, don't let my "it's real world" discourage you. With "The Baltimorons" you escape into other people's real world which is funny, beautiful and hopeful.

A newly sober man's Christmas Eve dental emergency leads to an unexpected romance with his older dentist as they explore Baltimore together.

Directed by Jay Duplass. Written by Michael Strassner and Duplass.

Thisne stars Strassner as Cliff a man struggling with sobriety an the direction his life has taken. After a dental emergency on Christmas Eve leads him to the only dentist available on the holiday, DiDi played by Liz Larson. Struggling with the direction her own life has taken.

Both Strassner and Larson shine with so much personality. Strassner with the quick wit and Larson with her captivating smile and independent personality.

This film grabs your attention from the opening scene and carries you along with the characters as they spend the day together exploring Baltimore and sometimes committing felonies. You can't help but root for them. They are two broken people whose broken pieces just somehow fit together to make a whole.

The feel of Baltimore looms large over the entire production. The streets, the Ravens, 34th Street. Even the weather. As a lifelong Texan I just felt cold. The music slow and steady Christmas tunes played on the piano, should've dragged scenes down yet managed to fit firmly in place.

The idea of a mismatched couple isn't a new one but this one worked on so many levels. Funny, heart warming, heart breaking and even frustrating at times.

IMDb has this one at 7.5/10 For me it's a 8/10

A very solid movie that just pulls you in and keeps you emotionally invested for the entire 101 minutes.

Right or wrong, weak or strong...these are my opinions.

This movie really surprised me cause I started really annoyed at this guy, he's such a douche, so, so annoying and basically a pest for these women and then, gradually, he became tolerable and even okay. Still not cool about his fiancée but damn they really built that chemistry. And again in the beginning I was really hoping, praying even that this wouldn't go the romance route but I can kind of see it, at least for one crazy night these two go together and she kind of is a beacon for him actually, or they take turns, but I guess it's been a while since a woman looked at him like that and who wouldn't get drunk on that... I mean it's good it ended when it did cause where would you go with this story and even in real life to have that even is rare but to keep it going is surreal so... This Duplass guy has a knack for these stories of awkward, very different people somehow relating to each other and connecting and emoting a bunch and that's why the first 20 minutes got me so upset cause I wasn't seeing it, but they got it on track thankfully. Still not cool about the fiancée though.

I haven't been in Baltimore in 20 years but the gas prices must be incredibly low at Christmas time because the milage the main characters rack up is incredible.

The premise of the movie is simple, a man walks into a dentist office and one thing leads to another in an ever increasing series of misadventures.

Having done after school comedy in High School I appreciate the comedy backstory and set up, however the movie can be dull at times and does not always know how to transition seamlessly into the next act.

Overall, I was pleasantly surprised and some bits are quite funny, it is just that there's a few plot holes that undo all the work that was put in the scenes.

"The Baltimorons" plays like a poor man's Alexander Payne movie.

It's a half quirky/half melancholy movie set at Christmas that leans into the most depressing aspects of the holidays. Why it was released in September I'm not sure.

Michael Strassner manages to perform his duties admirably, playing a man who is so persistently goofy that he wins you over by wearing you down. Liz Larsen gives a nice performance too as the dentist who ends up spending a wacky day with him and striking up a tentative romance. The movie is hampered by the fact that these two actors, while having some decent buddy movie vibes with each other, have little romantic chemistry.

This is an entertaining film of modest ambitions that I think I will barely remember when I think back on the movies I saw this year.

Grade: B+