Sterno-2
Joined Sep 1999
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Sterno-2's rating
MST fans are familiar with the classic episode whereby Mike and the 'bots turn their comedic talents on the East Coast beach movie "The Horror of Party Beach". Like "Horror", "The Beach Girls and the Monster" takes place on a beach and features a monster, but that's where the similarities end.
"Beach Girls" tells the story of Otto, who is a scientist. Otto is a control freak who can't control anyone in his life. You see, Otto has a trophy wife by the name of Vicky who likes to cheat on him and a son who has been neglecting his work in the family's sea lab. The son carries some guilt over being involved in an accident which gives his friend a limp. Seeing that he's been living life way too seriously, the son has taken to the beach life, surfing and dancing with pretty girls. This does not please the father at all.
Otto's son and his friends party like it's 1999, but a monster is killing them one by one. Why them and no one else? Why are we never shown the origin of the monster? Well, after about the 2/3 mark of this movie, it becomes very apparent what the answers to these questions are. This movie is not so much a horror movie per se, but rather a drama involving a dysfunctional family that just happens to have a monster in it.
One little item might escape you on first viewing it. In one scene, the son and his friend are viewing a movie of surfing in Hawaii, which really lends nothing to the movie except to pad it out so it runs at least an hour. The movie is shot in black and white, but the inserted footage is in that washed-out 60s color. Watch for it.
Sterno says catch this wave and ride it in to shore.
"Beach Girls" tells the story of Otto, who is a scientist. Otto is a control freak who can't control anyone in his life. You see, Otto has a trophy wife by the name of Vicky who likes to cheat on him and a son who has been neglecting his work in the family's sea lab. The son carries some guilt over being involved in an accident which gives his friend a limp. Seeing that he's been living life way too seriously, the son has taken to the beach life, surfing and dancing with pretty girls. This does not please the father at all.
Otto's son and his friends party like it's 1999, but a monster is killing them one by one. Why them and no one else? Why are we never shown the origin of the monster? Well, after about the 2/3 mark of this movie, it becomes very apparent what the answers to these questions are. This movie is not so much a horror movie per se, but rather a drama involving a dysfunctional family that just happens to have a monster in it.
One little item might escape you on first viewing it. In one scene, the son and his friend are viewing a movie of surfing in Hawaii, which really lends nothing to the movie except to pad it out so it runs at least an hour. The movie is shot in black and white, but the inserted footage is in that washed-out 60s color. Watch for it.
Sterno says catch this wave and ride it in to shore.
After a while, one needs a fresh approach to anything they do...drive a different way to work, wear the latest fashions, etc. When Toho studios got around to making a new Gojira film in 1989, they decided that instead of space aliens, other monsters, or the Japanese army, Gojira would fight a plant. Specifically, he would fight a giant rosebush.
As per any decent B movie, you have a scientist who Tampers in God's Domain (TiGD). He manages to obtain some Godzilla cells -- apparently Godzilla sheds like a snake -- and seeks to use the cells to genetically alter wheat and other foodstuffs so that us bad Americans won't be the bread basket to the world anymore. However, we bomb the lab, killing the daughter. This would be your normal tragic story except for what happens next.
The father begins infusing Godzilla's DNA into that of a rose pedal. Because he went TiGD, the daughter's spirit finds its way into the scientist's creation. Except for thorns, roses aren't that harmful. However, this one's got an attitude (wouldn't you if you were 150 feet tall with no eyes, nose, or mouth?). In between, we have the world power of Sardinia and their agents sneaking around the edges, making things unnecessarily complicated.
Unfortunately, the sight of the world's best rubber monster fighting a rose bush staggers the mind. During the viewing of the movie, I was forced to call Mills Lane and ask that he give me a "standing eight count". The person who devised that plot needs to be wacked with a clown hammer and given my phone number, because *I* have a plot that is less convoluted and doesn't traumatize anyone's suspension of disbelief.
Sterno says to tell James Witmore to leave his "MiracleGro" at home.
As per any decent B movie, you have a scientist who Tampers in God's Domain (TiGD). He manages to obtain some Godzilla cells -- apparently Godzilla sheds like a snake -- and seeks to use the cells to genetically alter wheat and other foodstuffs so that us bad Americans won't be the bread basket to the world anymore. However, we bomb the lab, killing the daughter. This would be your normal tragic story except for what happens next.
The father begins infusing Godzilla's DNA into that of a rose pedal. Because he went TiGD, the daughter's spirit finds its way into the scientist's creation. Except for thorns, roses aren't that harmful. However, this one's got an attitude (wouldn't you if you were 150 feet tall with no eyes, nose, or mouth?). In between, we have the world power of Sardinia and their agents sneaking around the edges, making things unnecessarily complicated.
Unfortunately, the sight of the world's best rubber monster fighting a rose bush staggers the mind. During the viewing of the movie, I was forced to call Mills Lane and ask that he give me a "standing eight count". The person who devised that plot needs to be wacked with a clown hammer and given my phone number, because *I* have a plot that is less convoluted and doesn't traumatize anyone's suspension of disbelief.
Sterno says to tell James Witmore to leave his "MiracleGro" at home.
"Godzilla's Revenge" is a children's movie, no doubt about that. There's no "revenge" to it. The story revolves around a child in shorts (thankfully not named Kenny) who endures torment and abuse from his schoolmates. Since the idea of going postal hadn't been invented yet, Ichiro spends his afterschool hours dreaming of Monster Island and Godzilla's son Minya. Running on the same track in the direction of this plot are two bank robbers.
Much like "Casino Royale" was James Bond without Sean Connery, "Revenge" is Godzilla, sort of. One might look at it as a satire or spoof. It shows Godzilla; he fights and yells, but he isn't laying waste to anyplace in Japan, and *shudder* he's a dad. This is not the Godzilla I grew to love. That having been said, Godzilla does impart wisdom to his son Minya, and by extension to our movie's child.
The idea of fighting one's own battles is important, as well as having the courage to stand up for yourself and your convictions. The lessons taught by Godzilla (I can't believe I'm writing this) are ones needed by children, regardless of their circumstances. It's done in a way that is subtle and fun, yet effective.
On the adult level, however, I'm afraid that you're simply going to have to turn your brain off for this one. I could've sworn one of the bank robbers was Joe Pesci -- but I could be wrong. They are simply too buffoonish to be believed, but it is necessary to make them this way so that the ending can play out as it does. However, there is enough in them to make them more than two-dimensional (i.e., the one robber's drinking problem). It's "Home Alone" without Macauley Caulkin -- and that's a good thing.
Sterno says show "Godzilla's Revenge" to the children in your life.
Much like "Casino Royale" was James Bond without Sean Connery, "Revenge" is Godzilla, sort of. One might look at it as a satire or spoof. It shows Godzilla; he fights and yells, but he isn't laying waste to anyplace in Japan, and *shudder* he's a dad. This is not the Godzilla I grew to love. That having been said, Godzilla does impart wisdom to his son Minya, and by extension to our movie's child.
The idea of fighting one's own battles is important, as well as having the courage to stand up for yourself and your convictions. The lessons taught by Godzilla (I can't believe I'm writing this) are ones needed by children, regardless of their circumstances. It's done in a way that is subtle and fun, yet effective.
On the adult level, however, I'm afraid that you're simply going to have to turn your brain off for this one. I could've sworn one of the bank robbers was Joe Pesci -- but I could be wrong. They are simply too buffoonish to be believed, but it is necessary to make them this way so that the ending can play out as it does. However, there is enough in them to make them more than two-dimensional (i.e., the one robber's drinking problem). It's "Home Alone" without Macauley Caulkin -- and that's a good thing.
Sterno says show "Godzilla's Revenge" to the children in your life.