tripwires

I can honestly say that this 'movie' was one of the worst I've ever seen, and this is coming from a rabid Jay Chou fan who is convinced that she is his long-lost soul mate. The only good thing about this movie is those three sacred minutes during which Jay Chou finally made his long-awaited cameo appearance, as well as the expectedly beautiful songs that he penned. The rest of the movie was, quite frankly, a waste of film whose sole purpose was to prolong the agony of Jay Chou fans in the theatre waiting for their idol to appear (and when he did, some members of the audience actually screamed).

The movie was excruciatingly pretentious, shamelessly plot less, and obviously trying to cash in on Jay Chou's fame, considering how he's THE biggest song-writer/singer in Asia. This soundtrack-of-life dribble takes pointless meanders into places whose purposes were never really quite uncovered, but you really cease to care after thirty minutes into the movie, all thanks to Po Po's terrible acting. Obviously marketed as the next Faye Wong (excuse me while I puke), she went for acting cute a la typical Chinese pop stars with sweet faces but bland voices and hence, you never quite take her seriously either. The oddball characters that showed up were more annoying than intriguing, and they served no real purpose in and to the plot, except to fill up the ninety minutes, perhaps.

But the worst crime that Hidden Track committed was that it didn't even attempt to be entertaining. I lost track of how many times I checked my watch and I fidgeted throughout the movie. It was flat, it was dull, and it was an absolute bore. The only moments during which I perked up were when Jay Chou's songs were playing in the background. It's pretty obvious that the people behind this non-film were aiming for an avant garde, deep and philosophical film, but sadly, they never had material that was credible enough to come remotely close to their target. The script - a primary school kid can write something like that, and the movie is so all-over-the-place that its point is lost in all the turns that the female protagonist took in search of that rare (and non-existent in real life) Jay Chou album with the hidden track in it. Clearly, what is obviously missing from this poor excuse for a movie is a story worthwhile enough to sit through while waiting for Jay Chou to appear.

Strictly for Jay Chou fans. I may have hated the first 87 minutes, but I definitely enjoyed and loved the last three. Long live Jay Chou and his brilliant songs.

The only reason I even bothered with this, even though I knew that I wouldn't like it, is Jennifer Garner, whom I think is totally, totally, totally hot. Too bad for her: she deserved a much better script.

Elektra has its share of gripping moments, but on the whole, it was awfully silly. First of all - and this really irks me - they shamefully got a Korean actor to play a Japanese. How many times must Hollywood commit this kind of stupidity before they realise that the different Asian race aren't substitutes for each other? (Admittedly, the Korean actor is hot, but that is not the point.) Secondly, Elektra boasted some of the worst special effects I've ever seen; they looked like something out of a computer game or a low-budget, locally-produced gongfu television series. The constant usage of slow motion went heavily into overkill territory, such that some of such moments became so cheesy that they completely lost their credibility and the semblance to depth and meaning the film-makers were obviously aiming for (an example would be the fight scene between Elektra and the pseudo-Japanese dude with the sword).

Thirdly, the plot, or what was supposed to be the plot. I'll just say this plainly: What the hell was that? The ending left much to be desired; not only was it extremely anti-climatic and "that's it?"-inducing, it was also blatantly obvious that the people behind it were already gearing themselves up for a sequel. Questions which you'd expect the movie to answer upon its conclusion were hardly dealt with, hence cheating the audience out of a holistic cinematic experience. Save for Elektra, there was also a grave lack of character development. The only reason I cared about Mark whateverhisnameis was because it's Goran Visnjic, who is deliciously gorgeous; other than that, I couldn't care any less about the other characters.

The plus points: Elektra was halfway understood and Jennifer Garner portrayed her nuances with tremendous efficacy. And then there's Goran Visnjic, who is - have I mentioned this? - deliciously gorgeous; hence, it's too bad that he had such little screen time. I believe I would have enjoyed the movie a lot more if there was more of him. In addition, Elektra was marginally better than Daredevil, which was the most boring and pointless action movie I've seen in quite a while. And one last plus point: Elektra did not have the insufferable Ben Affleck. That's a cause for cheer and celebration, whatever the occasion.

See this only if you like Jennifer Garner and Goran Visnjic.

Meet the Parents was good; I liked the De Niro/Stiller combination, and it made me laugh. Unfortunately, the sequel was boring. The only thing that saved it from the trash bin was the impeccable casting, ie. Dustin Hoffman and Barbra Streisand. The chemistry between the pair was very palpable and they were a joy to watch. Scenes between Hoffman and De Niro were rather entertaining too, and they induced a few laughs in me.

Still, the movie's strategy of recycling tried-and-tested sex jokes ultimately failed it in my opinion. It got to a point where it became so predictable that it descended into the fiery depths of banality. Meet the Fockers is a great piece of evidence that illustrates the vast difference between American comedies and British comedies; just compare this to, say, Love Actually, and you'd get my point. Perhaps Meet the Fockers will score with people who don't really like to think, but its low-brow, un-intelligent brand of toilet and sexual humour is something I've seen so many times already that it failed to hold my interest for a significant period of time.

In short, a waste of talent and money. The original is so much better.