JUST A FEW OF MY FAVORITE SIGNATURE LINES:
(These were used back in the day before the weasely cowardly scumbags at IMDB decided to eliminate the Message Boards):
Damn! We're in a tight spot!...Ulysses Everett McGill
I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed or numbered...#6
Put down the game controller and read a book, you backward cap-wearing, ignorant idiot.
We can't stop here--This is bat country!...Raoul Duke
There's nothing wrong with shooting...as long as the right people get shot...Detective Harry Callahan
Girls--enough with the tattoos already...they make you look cheaper than you already are.
It's called the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. >Carlin
Why don't you ask ''Tom'' why he's so good at killing people?
Wasn't it a millionaire who sang ''imagine no possessions''?
What you see is a guy who never measured a man's success by the size of his WALLET!
Reality is overrated.
You must be careful who you pretend to be because in the end you are who you're pretending to be. >Vonnegut
I don't sing. I don't dance. I don't like people who do.
>David Letterman
If you refuse to watch black-and-white films, you shouldn't be allowed to register on IMDB.
Frank: Jane, I saw some pictures today...
Jane: I was young! I needed the money!
Everyone knows there's a remote-control to skip songs on the Internet Jukeboxes...so just cut it out already, ok? I want to hear the Steely Dan song I paid for.
"Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son."
Sturgeon's Law: Ninety percent of everything is crap.
I'm really sick of hearing that damn eagle cry SFX everytime there's a wilderness scene.
"Trifle with me, will ya, ya ruddy coastal monger!"
Free Speech is more than a theory...but it does need testing every so often.
I don't believe in the no-win scenario...
>Capt. James T. Kirk
"Forget it, Jake.....It's Chinatown"
"Pardon me, Mr. Pardner Sir...but who is this Texas Jack?"
I am Jack's annoying signature line.
It really sucks that Amazon.com has turned IMDb into a money-grubbing pop-up whore website.
I don't hate reality TV... I just hate the people who watch it.
"Those satisfactions are permanent."
"It's his word!" "That ain't what counts--it's who you give it to!"
"Whattya want me to do?! Spell it out for ya?! Draw ya a picture?!"
Sponsered Links (What's this?) More IMDb Bullshht!
I really hate it when post-apocalyptic films leave out the whimsy...
P.T. Barnum extremely underestimated the birth rate for Suckers...
this information is only available on IMDbPro, and you're a cheap worthless scumbag, so go away!
I used to call it ADHD, but that took too much time, so I shortened it to ADD...
"Now who can argue with that?! Not only was it authentic frontier gibberish..."
Copyright Law is a nice theory...but one I choose not to believe in.
It's not really a "reality" show . . . . until someone dies.
"Gentlemen--we've got to save our phony baloney jobs! Harumph! Harumph!!"
"I could never belong to any organization that would have me as a member"
-> Groucho Marx
"You maniacs! You blew it up! Damn you! God damn you all to hell!!"
I want the job writing the idiotic titles for chapter stops on DVDs.
"That's a very, very heavy burtation!"
I'm not anti-social--I have a lot of friends...and they're all even more anti-social than me.
"Is a dream a lie if it don't come true, or is it something worse?"
"Forget it, Jake....it's IMDb."
"Oh..my...God.....IT'S DIPPPPP!!!!"
> Jessica Rabbit
Apparently riding the dog like it's a small horse...is FROWNED UPON IN THIS ESTABLISHMENT!"
]"Bah! Supermodels...tall, skinny stick figures with bad attitudes!"
"I wanna bite the hand that feeds me/I wanna bite that hand so badly/I wanna make them wish they never heard me!"
That's a real nice iPhone ya got there...now why don't you shove it up your iAss?
This is very hard to read, isn't it?
Anything you say, Lloyd...anything you say!
I'm really sick of paying MORE for stuff...and getting LESS of it!
Gentleman--we've got to save our phony baloney jobs! Harumph! Harumph!
We're fighting for your honor...which is more than you've ever done!
Some people say it's unacceptable to use the term "retarded" anymore. Those people are retarded.
I don't trust people who claim they don't HATE anything.
Welcome to Generation Apphole.
That boy's angrier than a rabid coon!
Why are there so many idiots with smartphones?
I don't tweet. I don't blog. I don't like people who do.
A riot is an ugly thing....but now I think it is about time that we had one!
Now who can argue with that? Not only was it authentic IMDb gibberish, but it expressed a courage little seen in this day and age! I think we're all indebted to xxx for clearly stating what needed to be said!
When they got home at night their fat and psychopathic wives would thrash them within inches of their lives.
I lose all respect for actresses who refuse to do nude scenes.
I like to go to Walmart and fill up a cart with about 200 items... And then leave.
Don't believe everything you see in the movies. Or on television. Especially television.
I false reported a poster for false reporting a false troll.
I used to have trouble with insomnia...but now I just turn on a soccer game.
I certainly don't want a 4-hour erection. However, a 4-hour orgasm...
You have many questions, Mr. Sparkle. I send you premium. Answer question 100%!
Politicians, ugly buildings, and whores all get respectable if they last long enough.
You see, Mr. Gittes...at the right time, the right place, a man is capable of...ANYTHING!
"This river don't run to Aintry!"
"Some men just like to watch the world burn!"
CBS Television: the network of choice for culturally retarded Americans.
With words we build, with words we break/I'm drunk drunk drunk in the gardens and the graves
Hey look--I won an award for just showing up! Yay!!!
I don't Tweet. I don't Facebook. I don't like people who do.
"...sooner or later it all comes down to money."
Are you aware that Love and Hate are equally valid emotions?
When I get sleepy at work, to remain alert I yank hairs from my nostrils.
Well then, I guess you're just not up-to-date if your cell phone doesn't make toast!
People believe what they want to believe. One term for this is Faith. Another is Delusion.
Can you dig it? I knew that you could!
That's a nice iPhone you have...Now put it away before I shove it up your iAss.
...da fuq?!
I never measure a man's character by the size of his wallet or the size of his dick.
Sie sagan diese katze Shaft ist eine schlechte Mutterficker!
Everyone's opinions are equal. Except mine includes a Nielsen box.
Shake it, but don't break it. Wrap it up...and I'll take it!
I don't read tweets. I don't write tweets. And I don't like people who do.
I support the right of free speech. I also support the right to not listen to a lot of it.
Please--tell me what's "trending"...so I can be sure to avoid it.
Those who would trade Liberty for Security deserve neither.
If I could go back in time and kill one person as a baby...I'd kill Walt Disney.
Almost every IMDb Message Board has that one clown who thinks he/she is the moderator of it.
That certainly is a magnificent and majestic animal! Can we eat it?
Hey, play some more of that crappy '80s music!
I enjoy getting in the last word. I also enjoy firing the last bullet.
*Beep* you, Don Draper, and your Coca-Cola epiphany!
Change doesn't always make things better...it only assures things will be different.
Are you enjoying your genetically modified food?
Mustard goes on Hot Dogs. Mayo goes on Burgers. There will be no compromise on this.
...only one thing lower than a sideshow freak: a scum-sucking grit-eating Pencil-Necked Geek!
I always lie on surveys, polls, and questionnaires.
