Reviews
Meet the Feebles (1989)
Feebles...the guys who made this film
This is the worst film I've ever seen. It is a useless piece of trash that manages to make "muppets" even more unbearable than the actual Jim Henson creatures. It is a self-indulgent venture into a deprave world of variety show freaks and the troubles they have preparing for and performing their awful show. Not since EL TOPO and PSYCHOS IN LOVE have I seen such a horrible cinematic suppository. I am truly sorry for all the sad souls who have seen this film, and I'm especially sorry for those who think it is a good film. I am truly surprised that Peter Jackson was allowed to ever direct another film after this travesty, especially since LORD OF THE RINGS was actually a wonderful motion picture.
Alien (1979)
CUT!
CUT! This is something Mr. Scott should learn to say every once in awhile. This could have been a great film, it does have a decent story, unfortunately the director was just to incompetent to make this a good flick. Had there been more editing and fewer ungodly long takes it would become a much more enjoyable watch.
Zulu (1964)
It's like the energizer bunny!
This film was not as terrible as it could have been. However, it was also not as good as it should have been. It is a great story of triumph of an African civilization against the British Empire. However, the movie drags on and on and on and on...well you get the picture. While not a total waste of time it is not advisable to watch this film if you wish to be entertained, but if you just wish to see a nearly forgotten piece of history this is a decent flick.
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
exciting, reminscent of episode 4, yet some stuff's not very cool
phantom menace was fast paced and exciting...it was very enjoyable. i know very little about the saga but it seemed to me a lot of time was used as basically set up for the next two films, just like i believe episode 4 does for 5 and 6. jar jar binks and his people are slightly more cool than the ewoks, but they still are not very cool and a little annoying. some creature(jar jar) seem too cute. the effects are cool, but some of the plot is a little predictable.
Campfire Tales (1997)
urban legands b4 there was urban legands
This movie was decent. It had a good story line....it just didn't do much with it. The acting was, I suspect, the best they could get for the type of budget this film must have had. It does have a great twist at the end...which I won't give away cuz that would ruin a perfectly watchable movie. I do like the idea of using urban legands in horror movies, and this one does it well before "I know what you did last summer" and " Urban Legands". So for that creativity and originality before everyone thought those other two movies were original I give it 6 stars outta 10.
Braindead (1992)
move over norman bates....there is a new mother in the house
this movie plain and simple rules. the story is a little bland in some spots but makes up for it with very awesome effects and make-up. the actors rock and do superb jobs. the dead baby is enough to watch this movie but now add the priest and the only other son besides norman bates who will go to any lengths to protect his mother's image and you have one of the best dark comedy horror movies ever....i give it 8.5 stars outta 10
Psychos in Love (1987)
Love may hurt and so does viewing this movie
By reading the box at the video store this movie looks rather amusingly disturbing. You know the type....funny but supposed to frighten you.... this was not funny or horrific. the writing was lame...the jokes failed to make me laugh even at their extreme mundaneness....they were so expected. the actors didn't even do much with such a not so good script...at least I hope that wasn't their best..watch this movie at your own risk......I give it negative 3 stars outta 10
Empire Records (1995)
damn the man
Empire Records is very 80's but for the 90's. Great cast, great script, well directed and entertaining. Not to be taken seriously but to be enjoyed. It gives hope to me in a strange way that even though everything around you sucks that you have the power to change it...all it takes is fate. The reason that this movie is so great is that its characters are all of us,(very reminiscent of Breakfast Club) you have to identify with at least one if not all of the characters in some asspect. Also superb soundtrack. Damn the man save the empire!!!!
The Last Days of Frankie the Fly (1996)
why frankie the fly doesn't fly
The Last Days of Frankie the Fly is at best watchable. I watched it because the box described it as a crime movie in the style fo Pulp Fiction, a style I'm very fond of. This film failed to live up to its billing. It was very unPulp Fiction. The story line to Frankie was drab and lacking depth, the characters were unoriginal and uninteresting. They fail to develop anyone beyond the fact they are either protagonist or antagonist. Keifer Sutherland's character is the only that has any inspiration to it, the rest are acted blandly. However I can't blame the actors and actress for this, they did thier best with this cheap knock off script. It's no wonder to me why it went straight to video. Even with this all star cast the story is becoming so common and had nothing to set it apart from the rest and would have failed terribly in theatres. I'd only recommend this to someone who is a fan of one of the stars or film-makers....3.5 outta 10 on my scale.
mr pink