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Shijuro
Reviews
The Cloverfield Paradox (2018)
Disappointing
Although the performances were fine, the story was a muddled mix of bad science (gravity doesn't work like that, not in any of the scenes) and sci-fi cliches, with several random mentions of the word "Cloverfield" shoe-horned in inexplicably. The film introduces several "haunted house" elements that are never explained.
There is less than a minute of content that connects this to the other Cloverfield movies, and as minor and inconsequential as the connection is, they still manage to contradict the events in the other films.
No one can watch this and find it faultless. The 10/10 "Must see!" user reviews were presumably written by publicists.
Crimson Peak (2015)
Gorgeous but empty
Absolutely beautiful film. Unfortunately, the story was banal and completely predictable.
Based upon the trailer, I was really looking forward to this and so I was very disappointed. This is not the film advertised in the trailer.
The protagonist's description of the novel she's written is that it's not a ghost story, but it has ghosts in it. This film has ghosts in it, but it isn't a ghost story. It would have been so much better if it were. The ghosts are peppered throughout and promise more than they deliver.
I enjoy the actors and they do well enough (bless 'em) but they desperately need an interesting plot.
Intentionally vague spoilers: From about 10 minutes in it was obvious what was happening, who was involved, what their relationships were and who had been involved previously. The only twists were telegraphed clearly and repeatedly throughout the film.
I expected that the ghosts would provide some essential clue or information but they really just wander through occasionally, looking terrifying but behaving quite nicely. They were completely ineffectual (except for one moment when someone who probably shouldn't see them inexplicably does, but the moment would work exactly the same if there were no ghost present).
Recommended only for someone who has never seen an actual ghost story or Hitchcock film.
Iron Man Three (2013)
Spectacular, and somewhat stupid (vague spoiler inside)
They introduce but don't resolve a major issue with Tony, but unnecessarily "resolve" an issue central to the character. Bad physics in evidence throughout, and Tony does some unnecessarily stupid things. The explosions and spectacularly unlikely falls are so numerous as to become numbing.
Most overused: the suit-falls-onto-Tony-midair-in-nick-of-time routine (I lost count).
I'd gladly re-watch either of the first two films or the Avengers yet again than this.
Disappointing.
Batman Begins (2005)
It gets it all right
I was expecting just another Batman movie, although I had heard this one was quite good and allowed myself to hope it would be. I walked out of the theater thinking they got EVERYTHING right.
Intriguing plot, perfect casting, impeccable pacing, special effects that were beyond what was necessary without being distracting, amusing without being silly, truly frightening in parts, and the best job of rationalizing and explaining everything about the world of Batman... This was a great movie.
I'm going to have to see it again. I just can't believe I've finally found a film that gets everything right, and with a licensed property even.
The Apocalypse (1997)
Perhaps the worst film I've ever seen.
If you manage to get through the entire film and give it more thought than it warrants, you may find seeds of what could have been a good film scattered throughout.
Sandra Bernhard did a fair job with her leading role, only to be let down by the rest of the cast, the writing, directing, and effects (I suppose the sets were passable). Laura San Giacomo gives possibly the worst performance, completely over the top spouting incoherent snatches of Shakespeare. It appears that her part was filmed later and edited in, as she never interacts with the other actors and the "hacker" uses male pronouns when referring to her and her image.
This seemed as if several amateurs each directed a couple randomly-selected scenes without regard to each other's work, as characters are played very differently in adjoining scenes with no sense of development. The film ends suddenly and poorly, as if someone with an eye to the budget yelled "Cut, print!" the instant that the money ran out.
Perhaps this film itself was a salvage operation, where the shoot terminated prematurely and the studio edited whatever had already been filmed into something they could release upon an unsuspecting public.