xerxes-6

To put it briefly, if it weren't for "Slaughter of the Innocents" this would be the worst film I have ever seen. This film isn't just pants, its parachute pants. Some people are claiming this is a great satire on modern society, don't listen to them, they're idiots, this film is a great steaming pile of horse manure. I'd prefer to watch "Frankenhooker" over and over again than watch this rubbish once more - its a terrible, moronic film. If you watch this film you'll be sorry you didn't beat yourself around the head with a baseball bat instead, because that would be time better spent. Put yourself through a washing machine, become a dancer, perform a lobotomy on yourself even listen to nsync records if you have to, just don't watch this film. No wait, forget that nsync bit, even this isn't that bad.

I saw about 10 minutes of this rubbish a few days ago, and I must admit I thought it was some comedy sketch show doing a parody of "That 70s Show". Unfortunately for me, and for the makers of this "thing", I was wrong, it's actually a real programme. Its the british version of "That 70s Show", all the characters are the same only way worse, the most pathetic thing being that they've tried to make them all look the same as the American versions, why on earth they've done this I don't know, its very, very sad.

The real "That 70s Show" can be quite funny at times, but this thing is more of a drama even though its supposed to be a comedy. Don't get me wrong - its about as dramatic as an episode of "Working" with Fred Savage, what I mean is a kick in the groin would be funnier. One of the main reasons I thought it was a parody was because I thought the character Donna was a man in a wig, I can't begin to explain how ugly the actress who plays this part is, Peter Griffin said it best - "aaaggghhhhh - did somebody open the Ark of the Covenant?????"

As far as I know this show has been cancelled and all the actors sold into slavery as a punishment. It still isn't enough though, I'm pushing for all prints of every episode to be force-fed to the writers of this bilge until no trace of them ever existing remains. Harsh but fair I think you'll agree.

This film is so bad that it has to be seen to be believed. Basically it involves an incredibly annoying child who somehow tracks down a crazy serial killer before the FBI's finest, including his father, have gotten anywhere with the case. As you can see, realism has no place in this film. There are so many ridiculous things in this film, I don't know where to start. Why must all lunatic serial killers in bad movies recite passages from the Bible to appear mad? The ending to this piece of trash is a classic piece of movie stupidity. At least by watching this rubbish I will see all other bad films (including "Cool as Ice") in a new light as none are even remotely as bad as this piece of crap. Now I don't want to waste my time on this movie ever again.