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Reviews
Beowulf (2007)
Stunning 3D, incredible hubris
My wife and I saw this yesterday at the IMax in Sydney, Australia. The 3D was for the most part well done, although there were a few parts where the point-of-view was unrealistic and clearly put in just to show off the 3D effect.
What really grated on me was the script. The hubris of the screenwriters to think that they can improve on a story that has endured for more than 1000 years. I suppose they are banking on most Americans (indeed most viewers) to have never actually read Beowulf. It's a shame. The lower budget "Beowulf & Grendel" actually did a much better job.
Secondhand Lions (2003)
Excellent
I came to this movie full of trepidation, I was certain my wife had set me up for some politically correct pablum. I'm happy to say that I was wrong, very wrong.
The story is of a boy whose worthless mother abandons her son to his great uncles. She hopes that he will find where they keep their money, as they are rumored to be very rich.
This is a story of family. The mother who abandons her son, but in the end does what is best for him. Of two crusty old uncles, who know nothing of children, who take the boy into their home and their hearts.
It is also a story of shooting catfish with shotguns, and shooting at traveling salesmen. If we could only do that with spammers.
Look carefully at the cartoons on Walter's wall, they appear to have been drawn by Berkeley Breathed. I do so miss Penguin Opus.
Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron (2002)
Terrible, PC claptrap
I rented this movie for my sons, 13 & 8. They are even now begging me to turn it off!
It is one of the worst instances of PC claptrap I have seen in years. According to this movie, all white men are evil, and the transcontinental railroad is especially evil. Horses are tortured for no reason at all, and the white men want to kill all of the Native Americans.
Then, of course, there is the hideous soundtrack. It started off with some pseudo-rock n' roll boy band music, and it went downhill from there.
Finally, my wife could not stand it any longer. A little over an hour into the movie, my sons fled the room, and my wife turned it off.
Spy Kids 2: Island of Lost Dreams (2002)
Family comes first!
I won't spoil the plot, which is quite good for a sequel. I took my boys (aged 7 and 12) to see it, as well as my brother. We were pleased to see a very strong pro-family message. In several instances there were examples of self-sacrifice, and of choosing family above one's own selfish desires. In that regard, this is one of the best movies to take your children to see, in spite of the shitake mushroom joke!
Hannibal (2001)
I might like it better if he ate my brain...
The story is very slow moving, with a quantum jump in the last 30 minutes. It is during this time that is departs drastically from the book, and promptly falls flat on its face. The realshionship with Clarice, such as it is, remains unexplained.
The good news is that by departing so drastically from the book, it will be almost impossible for them to make another Hannibal movie.
The Family Man (2000)
The emasculation of Jack
This film is essentially a dual (mirror image for the non mathematicians) of "It's a Wonderful Life". We see less of the angel, but we are treated to the bell motif.
I went with my wife, brother and two sons. We all hated it. There is very little to like in this film.
Perhaps most irritating to me was when Jack manages to land a job at Lassiter and Company, but his wife objects. She doesn't want to leave the hovel in New Jersey, but will ("I chose us, Jack") if it is necessary for their relationship. Jack wimps out. He subordinates his desires and the welfare of his family to the desires of his wife. Ah, noble poverty...
Razor Blade Smile (1998)
It surprised me, and that doesn't happen often
OK, let's cut to the chase: the acting and dialog were bad. Bad beyond any normal measure of bad, but the ending surprised me. My brother and I watch a lot of movies, and normally about half way through one of us will decide we know "who done it" (perhaps writing it on a scrap of paper to prove we really did know), and we're almost always right. The ending to this stinker caught us both by surprise, and that almost made up for the bad acting -- but not quite.
The 6th Day (2000)
Sadly, quite predictable
In general I love any movie that Arnold appears in. His wry humor can boost almost any movie. While this movie was fun, it was too predictable. As soon as Adam (#2) awakens in the cab we know he is the clone.
The special effects were, good, but hardly comparable to The Matrix. The rapid flashing of images, particularly of the traffic on the road was gratuitous and distracting.
I must say, the best part of the movie was poking fun at the do-gooders who try to control our lives. The idea of an illegal cigar, and the wife asking Adam (#1) whether their detention was related to smoking the cigar made it worth the $4.75 I spent to see it on bargain night.
Dinosaur (2000)
Stunning visuals, disappointing story.
Last night I took my boys ages 5 and 10 to see Dinosaur. Some of the scenes were a bit too intense for the 5 year old, who got scared and had to sit on my lap.
The visuals were stunning. The story was disappointing. As my 10 year old pointed out, it was a rehash of the animated dinosaur movie (series now) "Land Before Time". Could it be that the only things talking dinosaurs ever want to do is to find a hidden valley after a meteor strike?