Reviews
Soul Survivors (2001)
terrible
this movie was just awful. Wes Bentley and Eliza Dushku were all that attracted me to this film, but all i can say to those two talented actors is "what were you thinking?" This movie is, to say the least, predictable and boring. The cover of the movie has the blonde girl in the back but she's actually the main character - she cannot act. every time she saw another freak reject from buffy the vampire slayer and she had to be consoled by one of her wacko friends she would just crinkle up her forehead and whimper - hello! don't you think you'd be a tad more upset if you were about to be killed. Oh, and how many times was that idiot walking by herself alone at night on the streets? for god's sake - please! This film was physically painful to watch and the end just reminded me of those terrible stories i used to write when i was 8 - "and then she woke up, and it was all a dream". I'd be overly generous if i gave this film a 2 out of 10 - so i didn't.. 1 star out of 10 for this pile of crud.
A Little Princess (1995)
corrrrrrrrrny
SPOILER ALERT oh god was this movie corny! they changed the story for one i mean set in new york - please. becky being this angelic little black girl who looked like she just got out finishing school doesn't help either. some scenes are cute but most of it was like finger up the throat stuff. the bit where the father doesn't die is just way too hollywood for my liking too, since in the novel he dies from a rare indian virus. and the scene where sara is like stroking her dad's face was really gross - i thought they were gonna start frenching or something - that close of a relationship between father and daughter is unhealthy. don't get me wrong this film is great for little kids - but for me, i wouldn't sit down to watch it again without having a bucket nearby. too different from novel - 1986 version ten zillion times better than this cornball.
Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000)
Eddie Murphy - you suck!
I can't really explain fully how bad this film is without using obscene profanity. the first one was bad enough but the sequel - I can only use the words of Janice from 'friends' OH MY GOD! i saw this film in German and I was horrified, it's probably a lot worse when you can actually hear that idiot Eddie Murphy's annoying voice. He can't seem to grasp the fact that there are other ways of making people laugh without showing a giant hamster butt screwing a random guy. Janet Jackson didn't help much by co-starring in this insult to the word film. The script was awful, the acting was terrible and by the end of the film, all I could hear in the cinema was moans and groans from the rest of the audience who obviously agreed with my judgment. Nice try Eddie but I think you peaked a long time ago. Go back to Brooklyn because you suck.
American Psycho (2000)
shockingly bad
This is the worst horror film I've ever wasted my time to see. 'scream' and 'I know what you did last summer' would make a much more interesting watch than this piece of trash! Those other slasher flicks have a story line and a motive and you know not to take them seriously, but 'American Psycho' wants to be taken seriously and send across a message or something. It's stupid, boring and the story (not that there is much of one) is never fully explained. In the end I just sat there thinking well this is the biggest waste of time. It's confusing and the murder and sex scenes are just there for the heck of it - hoping that it might hold your attention. I watched this film fall further and further apart and I hoped that at the end it might all come together but I was too hopeful, obviously. It's a meaningless, for the heck of it movie and I would never even dream of recommending it to someone unless I wished them to suffer in the same way I did. I've seen my share of bad films, but I take off my hat to this one. 'American Psycho' - you take the cake of all awful.
The Adventures of Lano & Woodley (1997)
Brilliant!
These guys are the best comedians in the world today. Sort of a Jim Carrey meets Buster Keaton duo. The direction is top notch (Bob Spiers of Fawlty Towers and Mandy Smith of Heartbreak High) and the comedy fast, inventive and very funny.
The Vicar of Dibley (1994)
superb
This is a wonderful show. The script is clever and hilarious and the jokes are ones that are so unique that you could sit there and laugh for hours over one line. Dawn French is fantastic and she is supported by superb performances from Emma Chambers and the rest of the parish. A must-see!
The Usual Suspects (1995)
five criminals get thrown together in a line up and realise the potential of the 5 of them working together in a group.
It's a spectacular movie! You think you know what's up the movie's sleeve but immediately something happens that throws your ideas way off course. A brilliant cast act beautifully together to a wonderful script. Kevin Spacey is magic! This is a must-see film.
L'exposition de 1900 (1900)
A beautiful translation of art in the nearby museums
A sweet and imaginative portrayal of what young and old people think of art. I feel that everyone who sees this will at first be puzzled by the significance but then after some heavy thought one will realise how wonderful this early production is. Truthful, inspiring and worthwhile. You can't miss it!
Tarzan (1999)
A hunk meets a babe in the jungle and the rest is history.....
the disney movie Tarzan really touched my heart. it has made me a better person. i feel that i should be lucky that i am not in tarzan's situation. yet he is unsurprisingly clever, because he learnt english in a matter of minutes in the movie!i can't believe that a guy like that, such a hero, such a star, such a hunk, really lived on this earth. he is my model for life! i vow to become more ego friendly. i was ever so surprised when i heard it was a true story. i fantasise about being jane!
The Pirates of 1920 (1911)
A brief encounter of pirates along their sail on the ocean.
Brief, stupid and unimaginative. Although this movie tries hard to be magical, it does not succeed and once you're finished watching it you feel annoyed at how it was a waste of your valuable time. I recommend any who are tempted to watch it that you'd have more fun watching a cooking show than this idiotic film.
The Simpsons (1989)
This is a series to see! It's unmatchable - it's brilliant!
This is one of the most fantastic cartoons I've ever seen. I just saw one episode and then I went out and bought 6 videos of them. There's not much more to say than if you don't enjoy this you should go to a doctor - you might be dead!