Change Your Image
slshusker
Reviews
The Three Musketeers (2011)
If I could award zero stars I would.
This is one of the worst adoaptions you could have foisted on you.
Sometimes remakes suck donkey schlong.
This is one of those times. Be warned.
Anyway, I must call out a bunch of keyboard characters for this review to be accepted. How about Ray Stevens sold his man card to appear in this Fraggle rock Monstrosity that mocks the original story.
Meanwhile with 242 characters still required, think back to your High School years. Did you do your best to be your best, or did you let the 10% of elites that now work at Footlocker control your minds. 500 characters left.
In summary, this terrible version of the movie is clearly worthy to be released by Netflix, Disney, or MSNBC as a denial of reality.
Peaceful, brothers and sisters.
Monster Hunter (2020)
There is no plot in this made for China flick with two well known US actors. Paycheck movie.
We laughed at the plot, which never became clear or not. The movie was clearly made for China featuring one known US actor until the last half hour when another US actor showed up and pretty much made this a drinking game movie. Dune and Tremors should sue for slander of plot.
How do people with different languages suddenly know insulting slang terms? Answer, this terribly scripted movie.
I cannot wait for the last ten minutes...OK I could not see the ending and be happy.
Wait, I need more characters to have my review of this almost a movie accepted.
Well, no Dolphins were harmed and the rain forest was not touched. Peace out.
Speed Kills (2018)
Are you kidding me.
We're minutes in and the room is laughing at Travolta's terrible makeup and hair piece. We deleted it after 5 minutes. Dreck.
Apparently you need 600 characters to have a review, mang! Here it is.
The lead in to this movie with terrible makeup and hair wigs is so awful that a room ful of peeps said, "channel surf" instead of watching this thing.
Back to you in cinema central.
More to yet 600 characters? OK, the Canadian viking chicken is too hot to be in this dumpster fire failed movie. Travolta looked like he was in Punisher13 on the TMZ channel.
Still...needs 600 charachters...the show does have a long time bad guy...Jordy or whatever. The importance is that this movie should not have been made?
Quantum Leap (2022)
Yes, it has a bit woke, yet the episode 1 script and story line is excellet.
The reviews by many weren't that great, yet this is one of the best new shows (remake - ish) of the year. We'll keep watching as the premiere episode played true to the original series. Keep it up.
Flashbacks and references to the original series are respectful and period correct. The premiere episode (no spoilers) was well written, casted, and suspenseful. Late in the episode info to who dunnit was awesome.
The casting is well done with a group of likable players, including Ernie Hudson(Ghostbusters). We have four more episodes on the DVR and will probably binge watch and set the series to auto record series.
Leverage: Redemption (2021)
This is such a smart and enjoyable franchise.
The casting of personalities that have meshed well for seasons makes Leverage a smiley watch.
The story lines stay true to the team of misfits doing good.
More seasons, please.
Superfly (2018)
Who casted this Bollywood lead actor Foo fest?
This lame offshoot remake is so comical it should be a drinking game.
The lead actor has Bollywood meme actor hair, Harr-uh, whatever.
"We're volume drug dealers and the feds don't know about us." Not.
Total fantasyland script, bad plot, and even worse casting.
We want our two hours back. The lead actor acting is beyond bad.
Young Sheldon: A Clogged Pore, a Little Spanish and the Future (2022)
This is an amazingly smart season ending episode!
No spoiler!
Casting Penn & Teller as Puberty and Puss is pure brilliance.
The script written to tap dance around the subject of puberty and "university liability" is so smart. Paental family income is so relatable.
Escape to Athena (1979)
NO spoiler...awful attempt at a movie!
So, anyhoo...Telly Savalas is the Vin Diesel of the 20th century.
This dreck movie has no historical value or decent significance.
Roger Moore as a German officer is beyond awful.
Turn this bad movie into a drinking game.
Roger Moore's last line was, "Zank you!" So bad.
Our Idiot Brother (2011)
Totally sleeper movie.
Paul rules, yet the dialog is wicked awesome.
The scene with the three sisters having a serious discussion at 1:20 Into the TV version is epic. Insert literal LOL during some scenes.
Copshop (2021)
This was a slow movie until action...then it went coma inducing WOKE
Gerard Butler got paid to be in this woke bad flick. Sorry campers, there is a reason or 27 why this flick didn't make it to the big screen.
Fact...big dudes wipe out small women, unless a bad movie wants to be relegated to the scrap heap with wokeness. (Example...see Women's NCAA swimming where a dude ish person dominated.)
40 minutes in the movie was interesting, until it went Woke and the again laughed.
The Great Wall (2016)
Campy AF.
Ok, we need to turn this awful flick into a drinking game. Every time something campy and cringy happens, drink. Alcohol poisoning is on line 2.
This flick was made for the Chinese cinema and is awful, like Star Wars episode 1.
Enterprise: Doctor's Orders (2004)
This is a refreshing episode featuring Phlox and another.
Episodes that feature the nearly NPC cast members tend to be good.
With the human crew put into comas as the Enterprise went through a dangerous area, Phlox was the primary character and nailed it. Well done. Shout out to the beagle.
The Blacklist: The Kazanjian Brothers (No. 156/157) (2020)
Brilliant editing in a Covid-19 world...no spoilers.
This episode was half completed when Covid-19 shut down production.
Some brilliant staffer suggested using CGI and Leisure Suit Larry In The Land Of The Lounge Lizards cartoonery to complete the visuals as the cast did the voice acting on the remaining scenes.
Nice music soundtrack.
The Blacklist: Orion Relocation Services (No. 159) (2019)
This episode is an Homage to the 1990 movie, The Freshman...endangered species being eaten...
We started laughing 20 minutes in when Raymond Reddington stopped the slaughter of an endangered species for rich people to eat.
One in our the room yelled, "Stop!" This scene's genré was lifted from the 1990 Matthew Broderick and Marlon Brando comedy, The Freshman.
The Blacklist: Hannah Hayes (No. 125) (2019)
Fantastic episode. No spoiler from me.
This episode is one of the best. The plot sucked me in immediately as a man woke from his sleep.
Science is on full display for a few men
Awkwafina Is Nora from Queens (2020)
Season 1: Episode2...like there will be Season2!
Awkwafina has the same bed sheets I had in 1986. Dafuq!
Wht kind of crap is that! I hope the set designers used a ton of bleach on those sheets that I gave to Goodwill when Clinton was getting BJs from Lewinski and arguing about the definition of "is"! Word to yer mutha.
No spoilers, unless it's Bill Clinton spoiling the name Clinton, Monika, Hillary, Chelsea, CNN, MSNBC, Common sense,etc.
Fanboys (2009)
Just Plain Fun
If you grew up on Star Wars and Star Trek, especially with those who were in love with either series, this movie is the bomb.
This fun romp makes fun of both series and has surprisingly great cameos, which I won't name. I will watch this again. Some movies are timeless in the way you can run into it on cable and will stay for a bit...that is this movie. The actors throughout the movie are from the genre we expect. Cameos and more cameos are numerous. Watch out for a gross hospital kiss, but I'm not giving anything away.
The cast is perfect for this performance. You'll feel for them.
Great job!
Stiletto (2008)
Straight to Video: The viewers win again
So,I skipped out of the office early today and fired up Showitme.
Wham, the first movie I ran into was just starting. STILETTO. The cast is filled with names and faces you'll immediately recognize. Hey, that makes the movie worth investing a bit of time to begin with.
Plot, who cares to begin with. The movie is dark and dreary with Mob affiliation and peeps getting whacked immediately. Watch it alone with a strong drink or six and in the evening.
Some may say the cast is beyond Over-The-Hill and Has-Beens. Tom Berringer as a Greek is a bit of a stretch; Stana Katic(Canadian) is great as the psycho-chick assassin, bent on revenge and killing anyone(males mostly), related to her anger and pain. Whatever.
The plot is about revenge...blah-blah-blah! I'd watch her cut vegetables. She can be/was seen on ABC's Castle. If you like hot brunettes, this is for you, plot be damned!
I watch a movie to be entertained and escape reality for a couple hours.
The cast of retro/comfortable characters let me do just that. Think Terminator, Platoon, etc.
There's not social lecture, just revenge, blood and advice. I'm only 45 minutes into the movie and I've already sent an email to a slimy acquaintance that can get ANY movie on DVD while it's still in the theater. The acquaintance loved Stiletto too! Preliminary audiences didn't, obviously. And now, back to the movie and another scotch, with Stana of course.
Apocalypto (2006)
Guy movie...action, action, action!!!!!
I avoided this movie for a year because the concept didn't interest me...then I accidentally surfed into the movie on cable.
I had to hit the INFO button to find out what this movie was!
Set in pre-Colombian times, the movie is about the stereotypical, Aztec style capture, torture, mayhem and human sacrifice. The first half of the movie is great character development about a man trying to save his family. The second half is all chase scenes.
Pop some popcorn and open the bottle of scotch. This is as good as any alien-car chase-blow up movie you'll ever see. Empathy is the word. You WILL feel for the lead actor as he tries to survive and escape.
The chase scene cinematography, which lasts an hour, is as good as it gets!
Total Guy Movie! What else is worth watching. Mel needs to produce more movies. Language wasn't a barrier. Body language said it all.
Beyond the Law (1993)
One of the greatest guy movies
This is a great movie for the guys. Surf through late night movies on your cable package and boom, here's this movie. I can't change the channel no matter where part of the movie is showing. Sheen plays it to the hilt. His acting chops took a licking for some bad movies; this is one of his best. Sit back, open a brewski or six and enjoy.
Linda Fiorentino was an excellent piece of eye candy! Read that again and you'll agree.
Based on true events, the movie runs through character development and plot expansion. I can't get enough of this. Add the Dukes of Hazard type side kick and the cast is complete. It's showing now, so I have to get back to it, after one of the numerous shootings and bar fights.
The Da Vinci Code (2006)
I was forced to watch this as a date movie: Loved IT!
Forget reality and what your religious convictions are!
This was a great movie romp, dashing over accepted religious history. The movie reminded me of National Treasure. The book and movie trample over accepted religious facts. Note that no Christians rioted and killed people world wide. This differs with eastern religions.
The movie twists accepted religious doctrine in the favor of conspiracy theory, which makes the content fun.
At the same time, a man watches the movie and thinks, "Hey, I'd nail that French chick." The book/movie don't lecture us over morals, ethics or values; we are left to decide what is right an wrong in the movie. Turn the volume up and listen closely to the whisperings, or you'll miss some good content.
Judgment Day (1999)
This movie was probably made for USA Network
I stumbled on this movie after SportsCenter. It was on FX, so I stayed a few minutes. The cast was full of recognizable faces, including Ice-T and Mario Van Peebles, the king of B-Movies.
This was definitely a B-Movie.
I called up IMDb to figure out who the director was and he is an actor/director. That was obvious from the movie.
The plot was predictable and it was a combo of David Koresh and Armageddon, filmed on a low budget. The movie was enjoyable and Ice-T's grimace always gives me a smile, along with his silly bad-ass lines.
I don't know why Suzy Amis is attempting to act any more, since she's married to James Cameron-Titanic. She can do whatever she wants.
Plenty of the actors give you the 'I know that dude' feeling. I saw a guy from the Young and Restless, another was a character actor in every military movie.
Judgment Day was released in 1999, so it was probably filmed in 1998, when the Armageddon themed movies were still a hot commodity. That's the likely reason this movie was made. Still, it's an OK watch, though I did vacuum the carpet during the movie and didn't seem to miss anything.
Any movie that somehow brings Chicken and Waffles into the script can't be all bad.
This is definitely a late night movie watch.
(Like 90% of the actors that made it big in the 1985-1992 area, Suzy Amis appeared in a bad Miami Vice episode-Heart of Darkness. It's terrible that I just saw this on TV as I was writing this review.)
Double Dragon (1994)
The more I see, the louder my laughter over the lameness
OMG this movie stinks. I only ended up watching it because the SLEUTH channel said Miami Vice was playing now. Instead, this epic is on. After 10 minutes, I thought this was some straight to video movie. Then I realized this was a really bad 90's movie. The cast completely under performs. It has to be the director's fault. The producer threw money in the toilet. No way they made their money back on this bomb. This movie should never have been made. I wonder what the budget was.
Robert Patrick...bad guy/former evil Terminator - hair is worth watching the movie
Mark Dacascos...plays a good guy, like in all his B-movies
Scott Wolf ...total wimp, couldn't beat up Jello, plays martial arts dude with a hot temper. He is Ryan Secrest's twin.
Alyssa Milano...cute young vixen, I don't care if she can act.
If this movie is based on the video game, I didn't notice, because of the lame plot, silly acting and again, Wolf acting tough.
Throw in the occasional hottie, bad girl and this is a fun watch, if you ignore that acting. Go in with the belief that the movie is better than watching bass fishing and you'll at least have something to tell your friends about later. "Dudes, I saw this terrible movie."
There has to be a way to turn this movie into a drinking game, like taking a drink every time a lame line is said. You'll kill a case of beer in 20 minutes.
To Live and Die in L.A. (1985)
You'll love it or hate it...early acting jobs for some big names
You'll love it or hate it. I love it. It could be the 80's feel.
The movie brought us Wang Chung. Good or Bad? You decide. The title song is rarely played on any radio station, and sounds 80's.
The casting brought in new bodies, several of which made it big.
Willem Dafoe...always a freak, from Platoon to Spiderman. He doesn't disappoint.
William Peterson...CSI's Gill Grissom, in his pre-chunky monkey, bug loving role. He's the tough young turk, Secret Service Agent.
Even Pankow is here! Who? OK, how about Turturo. He's here, too.
The movie is fast paced and moves actors in and out. It's a cop movie, so you guess why actors move out.
For me, it's an "I know that dude, kind of movie."
The Devil's Rejects (2005)
I should have gone to the DMV instead.
I'm dumber for having seen this movie.
The beginning was great. After that, it just sort of withered up and died. No, the beginning was intoxicating. The cast selection was first rate. I kept looking at the actors and saying, "I know that dude." The mother was the big blonde from Police Academy. Hey, that movie series was better than this movie. If it seems like I'm rambling, it's because the movie did it to me. Isn't a movie supposed to have a middle and ending? Instead of watching this movie, try to neuter a pit bull with a spoon. Hey, that'd be a better movie than this one. I'd give this move a 1 out of 10; something has to be worse. I'll find it eventually.