Change Your Image
dtscelza
Reviews
Society (1989)
You're going to make a great contribution to society!?! This film will interrobang you into submission
This movie is so f'n disgusting I love it. It's the type of film you punish your friends with. The lack of blood in the grand finale and the substitution of that gnarly , eerily lit vaseline substance was purely evil. All the scenes in the slow burn are smarmy too. But it's hilarious, without trying too hard all the time. You can't wash it away after you see it, but you'll be too busy laughing to care. Unless you're wound up real super super tiiiiight, which of course......could be the case. And if so lighten up, would you? It's embarrassing already.
Tetsuo (1989)
You can read everybody else's review to figure out what happens
But I'm going to tell you what's real. There is no more clear example of how powerful audio can be in cinema then this film. It is very rare that a curse such as what is suggested here can be thrown at you in a haunting disturbing way without seeing anything. You can listen to this movie and be equally as disturbed as when you watch it. Frenetic pacing, quick cuts, cyberpunk in every nuance and metal on metal grating that could give most normal people a migraine.
In all honesty, this is really a movie made for people who like to disturb their friends by inviting them over to watch Gray's anatomy and putting this on instead. Bravo!
Class of 1984 (1982)
Timothy Van Patten in a role thatay surprise you
There's not much more to say, I'm a huge mystery science theater fan and somehow I overlooked this film my whole life. Any chance to see Timothy Van Patten chew scenery like he's Jack palance is A OK by me. I think this is the slowest burn in human history, but man does it catch up at the end.
Slumber Party Massacre II (1987)
This 1 goes out to the 1 I love
Look, I'm not a big fan of comedy in horror either, but if you can't find something to be entertained by or laugh at in this, then you must be the most boring, unimaginative person on the face of the f'n planet.
Does it make any kind of practical sense? No, absolutely not. Is it the type of movie that slow burns forever and a day, only to make you wait for some outrageous ending? Clearly. Are there plot holes and unlikable characters all over the place? Yes, yes and more yes. Does that make it any less amazing? Wellllllll......
That's sort of depends on if you're a complete and total wet blanket or a human being with a pulse I guess.
Freddy mania was dominating the globe at this point so a loose premise for a slasher wasn't exactly that big of a deal. They just took the Freddy concept, put a musical spin on it with some fun songs and an outrageously charming killer with the greatest weapon you could ever hope for. This is living proof that you do not have to reinvent the wheel to make something entertaining and fun. And if you don't know what the definition of fun is ask Oprah or a spiritual guide or a life coach or something and stop expecting every movie to be some brilliant, perfectly polished expression of the human condition.