Change Your Image
tenthousandtattoos
Reviews
Men at Work (1990)
And the air is just right for drinking!
A guilty pleasure if ever there was one, Men at Work sees Carl (Charlie Sheen) and James (Emilio Estevez) as two no hoper surfers/garbage men who pipe dream about opening their own surf shop. Carl has a slightly disturbed habit of spying on his neighbors with binoculars and "seriously aggravating situations without changing the course of history" by occasionally shooting them with a pellet gun.
After an evening of beer and Trivial Pursuit, Carl and James witness City Councilman Jack Berger (Darrell Larson) seemingly assaulting his campaign manager Susan Wilkins (Leslie Hope) in her apartment across the street. As she runs out Carl shoots Berger with the pellet gun. He and James miss two men then strangle Berger and leave with his body. The following day they happen across Berger's discarded corpse on their garbage route, and, fearing they may be implicated in the murder, hide the body. Madcap antics ensure as they try to figure out who killed Berger and why.
There's lots to like in this silly comedy, from the inept hit men whose car bears the licence plates: HIT MEN, to the recurring joke of the misplaced tape (work it, work it), and the great chemistry between the two leads. But the highlight is Keith David as Louis, Carl and James' boss' brother in law who rides along with them in the garbage truck as an observer (as they are known troublemakers and on probation at work) and becomes mixed up in the movie's ensuing chaos. David is perfect as the unhinged Vietnam veteran, and from the sight gag of him doodling a helicopter firing missiles at innocent families on a boardwalk, to the infamous "another man's fries" line, to the hilarious kidnapping of the pizza boy "he was provokin me!" the character is a constant source of laughs.
Leave your brain at the door and enjoy.
R.O.T.O.R. (1987)
Ten things I'd rather do than have to sit through ROTOR again
1. Get smashed on the back of the head with a folding chair.
2. Drag my tongue along the entire length of a men's room floor.
3. Have someone nail my hand to a length of 2x4.
4. Drink a whole bottle of nail polish remover.
5. Staple my lower lip to a corkboard.
6. Eat a bowl of nails.
7. Repeatedly smash my forehead against a concrete pylon.
8. Belly flop off a 10-meter tower into an empty swimming pool.
9. Wrap a piece of string around my index finger til it falls off.
10. Get air-dropped into the middle of the Sahara desert with no supplies and wearing only silk boxer shorts.
The Simpsons (1989)
Ow my eye! I'm not supposed to get pudding in it!
I remember first sitting down to watch the Simpsons when it came to Australia. I was about 12 or 13. Hooked from the get-go, I have been a devoted fan ever since. It's true the latest seasons haven't been nearly as bust-a-gut funny as the earlier ones, but there's enough humour and social commentary to keep me hanging on and eagerly awaiting that new episode each week. The Simpsons has become such an integral part of my life that I think I have a Simpsons quote for every situation I find myself in, and more than once I've found myself thinking, "what would Homer do?" The DVD sets are great, packing in the extras to breaking point. The commentaries are especially great, often almost as funny as the episodes themselves. But I have to say, the packaging for Season 11 is AWFUL. What were they thinking? Not only are the four DVDs in tight, coarse little cardboard sleeves, there are glue spots sticking them together right in line with where you pull the disc out! What the hell? Be very cautious pulling the DVDs out for the first time. I've actually abandoned the cover and put the discs in their own jewel cases to avoid scratching them in future. As Comic Book Guy would say: "Worst...packaging...ever."
I Am Legend (2007)
Will Smith's got one heck of an immune system...
Note: This is a review of the original theatrical version, not the one with the alternate ending, available on the special edition DVD.
The title is from a novel, not a quote from Will Smith when asked to describe himself in three words or less. Also, I don't know what disturbed me more, seeing a desolate, uninhabited New York City or the fact that Robert Neville (Will Smith) chose to alleviate boredom by watching endless repeats of Shrek. And despite the obligatory "I'm pushing 40 but I'm still ripped" half-naked workout scene, it's an entertaining movie.
I was surprised at how simple this movie was, and also at how drastically it changed as soon as the other two survivors came along to rescue the "I've given up all hope" Neville. What was a riveting, intense character piece touching on issues of loneliness, humanity, isolation and grief, becomes a no-holds-barred fight to the death against infected mutants, then wham! the end clicks back into "thoughtful" mode
I was more than a little jarred. But despite this, I still found the movie very enjoyable.
I was also surprised at how similar to I, Robot it is, and not just coz of the workout scene. There is a blatant (borderline advertisement) product placement moment at the start. Neville is seen cruising around in a swanky, tricked out Ford Mustang, which strangely disappears for the rest of the film. Converse All-Stars, anyone? If he had of skidded to a halt and said, "a thing of beauty", I would have been lunging for the STOP button. Aha, one of the writers wrote I, Robot, and a 150 million dollar budget
I guess they needed a boost. Anyway, it's forgivable because it's, well
forgettable.
I Am Legend is more a (although I shudder to use the term) "re-imagining" of 1971's "The Omega Man" than it is an adaptation of Richard Matheson's novella, however viewed as a standalone piece it still works, so forget all the naysayers on here who stupidly feel the need to pick apart every single movie they see. If you think this is your kind of flick, it probably is. If, like me, you really dig "end of the world" type movies, you'll get more than a few kicks out of this one. Not least of which is the empty, barren, lifeless New York City. It looks, in a single word, awesome.
Far from being crap, the screenplay and/or film appears to have been "sliced and diced" to achieve a round 100 minute running time, as certain issues are raised and not followed through, other things appear to just skim the surface rather than diving in, and the ending is a little deus ex machina, but I still liked it.
Okay, summing up, I like apocalyptic end of world movies, so thought I'd dig this one. I hired it, was pleasantly surprised, slept on it, then decided the next day to buy the speccy edition DVD because a) I'll watch it again, more than once, and b) I wanted to see the alternate ending. So, if you're anything like me (check out my other reviews to get a random idea of flicks I love/hate) you'll probably dig it too. Have fun!
Cobra (1986)
Corn-Cobra
Los Angeles, 1986. A band of killers is stalking randoms on the mean streets of the City of Angels. The by-the-book, Malibu-livin, Lexus-drivin cops are clueless. Meet John Rambo, um, I mean
Marion Cobretti (Sylvester Stallone), a street tough cop with an attitude.
What I find hard to believe is that this cheesy piece of cinema was actually based on a novel. What I find EASY to believe is that Stallone wrote the screenplay. This was 1986 back when Stallone was still regularly receiving blows to the head. And it shows. This was also during the time when Stallone and Schwarzenegger had a weird "who's the biggest tough guy" run of movies. By and large, Arnie's hold up better these days, but that's not to say Stallone was not also capable of delivering some fun.
The fun begins with the infamous supermarket hold up. Forget the goofs, this is a great scene! The dumbass cops outside simply surround the place and try to negotiate. Pfft! Then "the Cobra" shows up, and just wades on in. Innocent bystanders? Please. I love the end, where he helps a woman to her feet. Notice she's a pretty girl forget helping the poor old guy huddled in his wheelchair or the pregnant mom cowering over in frozen goods, no, Sly reaches out to the only attractive woman in the place. That's my boy.
Then he goes home to his beachfront apartment where he snacks on a frozen piece of pizza (I swear he takes it out of the freezer not the fridge) while he cleans his gun and watches the news. This is a complicated individual we're dealing with here.
I love bad guys in these 80's actioners. They are just totally dedicated to being bad guys! These aren't complicated units were dealing with here. These guys are from the old bad-guy school - they don't have lives, wives, kids or personal affairs, nor do they have complicated reasons for why they were forced into lives of crime...no, in their spare time they sit around in warehouses playing with knives. They gather in abandoned buildings, where they stand in line dancing rows clapping shiny new axes together in a weird bad-guy symphony. Whatever. Anyway, I love that they appear to be a cross-section of society (we see suits alongside leathers at the axe-dance) united in wanting to start a new world order by killing off "the weak"...exactly what they plan to do once they've finished with the weak is left to your imagination.
And the cops! Stupid liberal tree-huggers! Sly knows that to really deal out some serious justice, all you need is some tight jeans, a big gun, an even bigger car, and of course, an Attitude. And Sly's got that in spades. He wades through this role in his leathers and sunnies, chewing on a match and spouting grumbly threats and grievances in between capping off bad guys left right and centre. He even finds time to crack onto a witness he's protecting, his then-wife Brigitte Nielsen of all people. Hence the strange montage early in the film that has her inexplicably dancing around a bunch of prop robots in a swimsuit. O
kay
And speaking of Brigitte Nielsen
Good God...she's not "eye candy" she's goddamned eye beef-jerky...how Stallone could tap that once, let alone marry it, is beyond me.
Anyway, suffice it to say he manages to protect the witness, kill 32 more bad guys, and bait a meat hook with the main villain. Then he grabs his girl, punches out one of the liberal, tree huggin cops and rides off into the sunset on the bad guy's motorcycle. Oh yeah!
The Blood of Heroes (1989)
In a world of survival art is meaningless
What a brutal little film this is. We enter a desolate wasteland, the scorched remains of what once was the twentieth century, before "the cruel wars that followed", and track a band of "Juggers" - a sports team that roam the wastes, from filthy settlement to filthy settlement, challenging the population to raise a team of juggers and play 'the game!'
I love that the rules of 'jugging' are never explained, we simply observe, and learn. There seems to be few rules - it's a primitive, extremely violent version of American football, except the quarterback is also the running back and the offensive linesmen swing big sticks. The defensive linesman is a big dude swinging what sort of resembles a cat o'nine tails whip made from chains. Basically, the ball is a dog's skull and the object is to ram it onto a stick on the opposing side of the field. As there are no time pieces in this new world order, the game is timed by throwing stones at a metal gong. If the challenger can last 100 stones without the home side dog-skulling them, they win. Got all that? Good. Let's move on.
My favourite scene (although I do like that extreme violence) is when they enter the underground "Red City", and Hauer and Chen pass a man doing chalk art on the filthy pavement. I like how everyone just walks over his artwork, paying it no heed, and I also like that he doesn't object, he just keeps chalking. It's a great example of showing, rather than telling, the audience that in a world where survival is the priority, there is no room for art. No time to stop and admire beauty.
I really dig other parts of this movie, like the fact they make the oldest guy in their troupe lug a wardrobe full of their sh*t on his back across endless miles of desert. Nice. And the guys in the weird tank that stop them in the middle of the desert and basically take a ransom from them. We're not really told who these weird guys are, or why Rutger and his team bow down to them and fork over their hard earned winnings without a fight, or even a harsh word. Well, one guy spits on the ground in protest. I also like that when a member of their team is crippled with a broken leg, they just leave him there and walk off. Darwin at his most brutal. But this opens the way for Joan Chen to join the team. I also like that it's never explained why she wants to hook up with this band of violent men and trek off into the desert looking for a fight. She just felt like a change, I guess.
I also really like that there's neither a back story nor a bright future anywhere in sight. We know from a single title card at the start that these people don't remember how the world got f*cked up, and are so busy simply surviving they're not really thinking about a way to "fix" things. This is simply the world they exist in, and world where the game is everything and the epitome of social standing is to win "100 stones!" This brings me to one of my favourite bits of the movie, so typically Aussie, where Rutger helps the dude (big Australian guy) he's just pummelled to his feet, and the dude remarks, "Sh*t
I forgot you were better than me!" No hard feelings, mate. Love it.
That reminds me of another favourite bit, and indeed one of the best bad guy/good guy moments I've ever seen. It's where Rutger is walking off, after the final confrontation, to return to a life of endless jugging across the desert, living from meal to meal and sleep to sleep. The big Australian dude who got pummelled by Rutger asks the villainous ruler of the "Red City" why he's letting Rutger go. The bad guy simply muses that there's nothing more he could do to make Rutger's life any worse than it already is. What I love more is that Rutger knows it, and it doesn't bother him. He's not only resigned himself to this life, he's gonna enjoy it as well, dammit.
Action Jackson (1988)
Bad example of the good old days of action movies
Im not going to beat around the bush here. This is a BAD movie. Terrible. God-awful, even. But I can't help myself. For some sad reason I like this movie. I mean, for one thing it's got absolute pearlers of dialogue, like this, "If I had that guy's family problems, I'd have myself neutered!" There's the guilty pleasure I have watching Carl Weathers trying to be tough. I don't quite know why he's so bad at it, I mean, it's not like he's teeny tiny or rake-thin or has a squeaky voice but every time he was supposed to be intimidating in this movie I just found myself giggling.
And then there's Vanity. Again, for some sad reason, I find her really alluring. Never mind she's a former crack-wh*re turned born again evangelical preacher, in this movie she's got a sexy little body and a smoky bedroom voice. Nice.
Another thing is, I always believe Craig T Nelson when he plays a sleaze. Check him out in Devil's Advocate. I can picture him sipping Maker's Mark bourbon while he jacks off to the latest Hustler Barely Legal issue. The guy just creeps me out.
And I must say I enjoyed seeing Biff from Back to the Future as the dumb cop. Priceless.
For all it's good points though, it really is very forgettable fare. Even now, having only watched it two days ago I'm struggling to remember the action scenes. I think it was really a misguided attempt to launch Carl Weathers into a leading man career of his own, after he did okay jobs in things like Predator, ie when his role was MUCH smaller. Sadly, when compared to other actioners of the time, like Commando, Lethal Weapon, Die Hard, it is a mediocre effort at best.
Ratatouille (2007)
Anyone can watch this movie!
Ratatouille begins in rural France, an idyllic little cottage nestled away in peaceful Nowhere. Here, Remy the rat (voiced by Patton Oswalt) and his clan lead a relatively trouble-free life, rummaging through an old lady's trash for their dinner and scuttling about in her roof at night. But Remy dreams of more. He has a penchant for food, as opposed to garbage, and idolises a chef he's seen on the TV in Granny's living room, Gusteau (Brad Garrett), and his 5-star restaurant. But Gusteau has died, leaving his business in the hands of uncertainty and a snide little chef named Skinner (brilliant voice work by Ian Holm). Skinner is in the process of selling out Gusteau's to hock microwave food items (Haggis Bites are just one of the "multicultural" delights on offer, along with Chopsocky Pockets
oh dear).
Remy's trouble free life is about to be shattered when he is caught rummaging in the old lady's spice rack late one night. Miffed, Grandma decides to approach the problem not with a rat trap, but with a good ol' fashioned shotgun. As she blasts away the roof caves in, revealing Remy's pals, who have to skitter away into the night lest they be blown to bits. Grabbing his favourite recipe book, wannabe-chef Remy busts out too, but gets separated from his clan during Granny's lunatic, shotgun-blasting pursuit.
Lost in the sewers, he decides to poke his head up, and discovers to his delight he's been lost under Paris, across the road from Gusteau's restaurant! Gusteau's has a new garbage boy, Linguini. Unbeknownst to Skinner and the boy is that Linguini is Gusteau's son. Linguini attempts to fix a soup he accidentally ruined by chucking in random stuff, stirring and hoping for the best. Enter Remy, who has watched in horror the whole time while Linguini "cooked". Remy quickly fixes the soup. Linguini sees him, but is too late to stop the soup going out..to a food critic! To everyone's surprise, it's great. Skinner gives an ultimatum, if Linguini can recreate the soup, he won't be fired for cooking without permission. But Remy is discovered, and Linguini is tasked with getting rid of the rodent, away from the restaurant. Near the canal, Linguini discovers Remy can understand him, and communicate back, so spares his life with the caveat that he help Linguini recreate the soup so he wont be fired. Soon enough they discover Remy can control Linguini like a puppet by pulling his hair ("whoah
that's strangely involuntary!") and the fun keeps rolling from there, but I won't spoil any more.
Ratatouille succeeds in never being preachy, it's message is simple and is never rammed home, like the message of Disney/Pixar predecessor Meet the Robinsons (I walked out of that one quietly muttering to myself like a mental patient
'keep moooooooving forward
keep mooooooving forward
.'), and it's a good one: "Anyone can cook." Meaning of course, anyone can do anything they dream of doing, you just gotta get in there and give it a go! The atmosphere is magic
Paris is shown as a glittering jewel against a still night, and the film is imbued with very soft browns and greens, a touch of red, very ambient and beautiful. The hectic kitchen scenes are brilliant, and capture perfectly the organised chaos of a busy restaurant kitchen. The story cracks along at a pace that will keep the kids enthralled while remaining interesting enough to an adult audience to watch over and over.
The animation is sublime, in some places it looks real. Animators in this field keep outdoing each other. Let's hope that good stories like Ratatouille continue to be the motivation, not just the need to impress and dazzle. Impress and dazzle Ratatouille does, with a great little story as well.
Big Daddy (1999)
The spit trick...
OK, let's just clear something up here from the get-go...the spit trick that "Julian" does IS INDEED physically possible...were you guys ever kids? I didn't know it was possible NOT to know that! I'm not going to go into the physical technicalities of it (it's a little disgusting, talking about the varying consistency of saliva) but take it from a former gross kid grown into a gross adult, it's possible! I never touched the ground though...that kid is a master! How anyone can NOT find this movie funny is beyond me, but each to their own tastes. I watch it regularly, like a good song, over and over. And I laugh every time. Adam Sandler is a great "everyman", I know I can certainly relate to his desire to spend a lot of time asleep or on the couch! I think that's ten lines, I wont go into a review, other than to say this movie rocks...see it!
Memphis Belle (1990)
Take it easy it is just a movie
I take a bit of an exception to "trapper"'s comments that people from Australia wont find much to enjoy in this film. Not to be mean, but you don't know what you're talking about mate.
As an Australian (note, in case you've lived under a ROCK for the last 60 years, Australians fought in WWII as well, including my own grandfather) I feel indescribable gratitude towards those brave men and women who stood up for all of us. Without them, the nation of Australia would not exist today, because Australia would have been conquered by Japan, and would be a very different country today.
It doesn't take much internet surfing or reading (yes, i still actually go to the library) to find out that the incidents portrayed in this film did actually take place, just not all on the same mission and not all happened to the Belle herself. (FYI, the Belle's real last mission was not to Bremen, it was to a target in France, and the mission went without a hitch, text-book-perfect, not really something worthy of a movie...quite boring actually despite it's significance to the crew). Yes some stuff was made up...but all in all, Catherine Wyler (William Wyler's daughter) has done a fairly exceptional job of telling all the stories she wanted to tell. She said her father (or grandfather one or the other it's been a while) told her heaps of stories about heaps of bomber crews and she wanted to tell them all, but settled on a few very dramatic ones she thought would work well for this film, and they do.
Technically, give the film a break...they did a great job of making 6 real B17's look like 150. Without CGI this was a lot harder to do than it seems.
I give war films the benefit of the doubt when it comes to things like dialogue/realism etc simply because *drum roll* I WAS NOT THERE, therefore I don't know sh*t and so I don't try to pretend that I do. My grandfather never said much about his time in North Africa and Crete during WWII, except that I always got the impression he tried to REMEMBER his friends that were there with him, and to FORGET everything else, all the horrible things he saw and did. Things he HAD to see and HAD to do at the time. This film shows very well the camaraderie that my late grandfather held so dear.
But...by all means keep bashing this film...I don't mind its low rating because I have it on DVD so what anyone else thinks of it is kinda irrelevant to me, and the naysayer comments are oh so entertaining. Like the one (Robert J Maxwell) that raves about the dog in this film...man, I had to rack my brain to even remember the dog, but this reviewer seems to feel the dog has a pivotal role in the film and ruined his enjoyment of it...whoah dude...you need to calm down man! Repeat after me...IT'S...JUST...A...MOVIE.
Zodiac (2007)
Effective, creepy, and tantalising...
"...it's then when the Hurdy-Gurdy Man comes singin songs of love..."
Two teenagers shot in a car at an isolated "lover's lane", Southern California, 1969. No witnesses. No motives. No suspects.
So begins Robert Graysmith's account of the infamous unsolved Zodiac case that gripped America in the late 60's, early 70's, and indeed still fascinates many today. I count myself among those "many". And so begins David Fincher's remarkable adaptation of Graysmith's titular novel. The film will haunt you long after the end credits have rolled off the screen and the room fades to black.
Immersive, atmospheric, and documentary-real, Zodiac is an achievement and a half for Fincher. Although the point can be argued, I believe this is his masterpiece. The first viewing blew me away. It's amazing how well you, as an audience member, are suffused into this world. You can almost reach out and touch things on screen, it feels that real.
Fincher and his various casting directors have an uncanny knack for picking the perfect people for certain roles, and in Zodiac this talent is on fine display. The three leads are amazing, Mark Ruffalo as the bull-dog Detective Dave Toschi, Jake Gyllenhaal as the nerdy cartoonist turned amateur-sleuth Robert Graysmith, and Robert Downey Jr as the hard-drinking, cynical crime reporter Paul Avery.
The film dives straight in - beginning with the second "official" Zodiac attack on Darlene Ferrin and Michael Mageau (the one just before the first infamous "Zodiac letter" claiming credit for it) which left Darlene dead but miraculously Michael survived several gunshots wounds, though strangely was never shown any suspect photos until years after the investigation was deemed "unsolved", and relegated to the "cold case" files. In a scene fraught with tension and mystery, we watch the doomed teenagers park their car, we wonder does she really know the guy in that other car? We plead silently with them as the car seems to speed away, but then with a screech of tyres starts back toward them... "Start the car and just go! Get out of there, now!" But of course, it plays out just like the frighteningly matter-of-fact police report: "the suspect exited his vehicle, walked to the passenger side window of the parked car, and without a word, began firing..." The case captures Graysmith's attention immediately, however it's not until another murder on Dave Toschi's beat (cabbie Paul Stine) that the dogged detective and his partner, played by Anthony Edwards, get involved.
The film plays out much to the tune of Graysmith's novel of the same name, ie it leaves out a LOT of stuff about the case, and focuses very closely on prime suspect Arthur Leigh Allen, a man both contemporary and modern criminal investigators and profilers, not to mention DNA evidence, seem to rule out as the real killer.
However, that's not to say they're not wrong. Who knows? The real Allen died shortly before the cops could speak with him after he was identified by Magaeu as "the man who shot me", so I guess we really will never know.
That's the dividing line of this film, I think. Fincher has done a marvellous job of capturing the immense frustration people felt (especially the investigating cops) when, time and again, the Zodiac evaded capture after brazen and brutal crimes, not to mention the taunting and insulting letters he constantly bombarded the police and media with. Nowhere is this more painfully rendered than in the scene where Dave Toschi sits in his car at the intersection where Paul Stine was murdered YEARS earlier, just waiting there. We get the feeling he does it a lot, just sits in his car there, and waits, and hopes with that steady sinking feeling growing in his stomach. He sighs, starts the car, and drives away, but we know he'll be back.
So you'll either relish that feeling of frustration, or you'll hate the movie for it. Personally, I enjoyed it very much, and was very inspired to go and find out more about the case. I challenge you not to want to know more, as the film opens a few doors it never quite closes, and I was excited to "fill in the blanks" so to speak, by delving into a bit of amateur-sleuthing of my own.
Like the infamous British Jack the Ripper case, this is a whodunit with endless avenues to pursue, and literally hundreds of theories as to who committed the murders, and why. Some are laughable, though most are really interesting and some are quite plausible.
I've watched this film 3 times now, and each time I've noticed subtle things I missed on previous viewings. Very watchable, though slow paced and does require a level of concentration.
Highly recommended. The "thinking person's" thriller. Enjoy.
Footnote: One reviewer commented that it was "distasteful" of the film to try and pin the crimes on a dead man (ie Arthur Leigh Allen). Um...come again? It should be remembered the "dead man" in question was a convicted child molester. Regardless of whether he was also the Zodiac, IMO he deserves no sympathy, even in death.
Commando (1985)
The ultimate Toy Soldier's w*et dream
Okay, BIAS here! I grew up watching Commando almost every weekend during summer. I had toy guns. Need I say more? I spent most weekends battling imaginary faceless cannon-fodder armies with an AK47 in one hand and a "raaaacket laaaaarncher" over my shoulder.
Army Special Ops Colonel John Matrix (Arnie), retired, is living in the mountains of California with his 11-year-old daughter Jenny (Alyssa Milano). Jenny is kidnapped by Bennett (Vernon Wells), one of John's former underlings. Bennett's boss, exiled Latin American dictator Arius (Dan Hedaya), demands that John assassinate the president of Val Verde so Arius can reinstate himself as dictator.
John is put on a plane but escapes, and sets off to rescue Jenny.
He enlists the aid of stewardess Cindy (Rae Dawn Chong). John and Cindy track down the island where Jenny is being held, and Arnie wades through hundreds of Fidel Castros before a final girly-man fight with Bennett and a triumphant rescue.
Classic 80's throwaway actioner, leave your brains at the door and enjoy. Far better than Rambo II, c'mon, John Matrix is not carrying around any boring post-Vietnam stress to justify a killing rampage, he just wants his daughter back so she can continue to make him mystery meat sandwiches, and so they can frolick in the pool together once more. You just know you're in for some a*ss-kickin good times when a bad guy delivers Arnie the ultimatum, "You gonna cooperate...right?" and Arnie answers him with a "Wrong!" and backs it up with some hot lead. Hot damn! What a movie! It just gets better when Rae decides, for whatever reason, to spring Arnie from a paddy wagon. What does she do? She fires a friggin ROCKET at the damn thing. With Arnie, and two hapless, innocent cops inside. Way to go, girl!
We've got a great villain in the hilarious Dan Hedaya, he's about as intimidating as the Dad from American Pie. But u gotta love his delicious madness: "If you try anything...I will mail her to you in pieces..." This movie is hilarious. If it's not tough-guy Arnie taking every possible opportunity to show off his flexed biceps, it's Australian Chopper-wannabe Vernon Wells, whose strange obsession with Arnie is homoerotic in the extreme. He wants to look into Arnie's eyes, to see what's "going on in there" while he slides his "blade" in...uh huh...
"Shoot em Up" video games owe a lot to movies like this. The one-man-army scenes resemble Cold Fire or Medal of Honor, ie hundreds of bad guys, lone soldier blowing them all away in various locations, etc.
Note: Bill Paxton appears briefly as a coastguard radio operator towards the end.
It's all in good fun. Enjoy.
The Ant Bully (2006)
Entertained me
Okay, people are mucho divided when it comes to these kids' CGI flicks. Person A: "Shrek sucks, Toy Story rules" Person B: "Toy Story sucks, Shrek rules", or some people seem to love Pixar and detest Dreamworks, or vice-versa. Whatever. I'm kind of a bit apathetic about it really...i like some Dreamworks stuff, I like some Pixar stuff, and i like some stuff in between. But the same way I don't automatically like every war movie i see, the same rationale applies here. I enjoyed the Ant Bully coz I like stuff about people shrinking, and im fascinated by ants, and what's more (and most important) is that it ENTERTAINED me for an hour and a half.
And, good lord, why do people say things like "this movie wasn't believable?" If you are wanting "believability" from a kids' CGI movie, put your movie tickets away for now, and see a shrink. Likewise, some people seemed to expect a documentary on ants here, saying this film will warp kids' minds into thinking ants can really talk etc etc, puh-leeeeze! When i was six years old my brother told me there was a monster living under our back stairs. Suffice it to say I quickly figured out there wasn't, like I also figured out ants can't really talk. Lighten up, your kids are WAY more switched on than you think. And if you are worried about what they'll think or believe, um, try TALKING to them? Just an idea.
Anyway, as usual I've gone off on a tangential rant here, so I'll get back to what I was actually talking about...which was...help me out here...oh yeah, The Ant Bully.
Lucas is the oft-picked on protagonist of the film. He takes out his frustration at being bullied by dousing an ant hill with a hose. The ants get p*ssed and make a potion that will shrink Lucas down to size so they can eat him. Okay, so they don't eat him, although according to Julia Roberts' ant he does look "soft and chewy." hehe Anyway let's cut a long story short, Lucas "becomes" an ant by living with the ants for a while and forging a bond with Zoc (Nicolas Cage) and Pretty Woman ant, helps them defeat the evil exterminator (Paul Giamatti) and grows back to actual size just in time to rally the neighborhood kids against the local bully.
Okay, one line had me snort coke (the drink, you nitwit, not the Colombian stuff :) all over the coffee table and hit REWIND while stumbling over a "what the f*ck?" It was just after the hero's been swallowed by a toad. Anyway a couple of bugs come plopping down into the toad's stomach acid and one of them remarks: "Whoah, we just came right down that guy's throat, didn't we?"
Final note - my favourite character appears very briefly, he's the little kid in the gridiron helmet at the end, wearing a "USMC" t-shirt...hilarious little guy, reminds me of me at that age..."dog-pile!!!!" Unless you have really young kids, there is nothing offensive about this movie. It is as they say, good clean fun!
Half Baked (1998)
I don't even know nobody named Ol' James!
Tamra Davis is a g*damned genius, i swear. She manages to get a pumping little message across while delivering the laughs by the bucketload. And Dave Chapelle, gangly, weird but extremely funny in that unpredictable, zany way, easily delivers the funniest line when he says "Do I look like someone that would smoke...*whispers* mari-juana?" Trust me, when u see him say that line the irony is nothing short of hilarious.
The message is, quite simply, that weed's got a bad rap over the years for being a "gateway drug" and that it's not a "soft" drug or whatever, and nowhere in the film is this rammed home more than in the "Rehab" scene. No, I don't know anyone that's ever "sucked d*ck for marijuana", either...haha. This is all despite the fact that many people use weed all the time and never become junkies or "flip out" and go nuts.
This will especially strike a chord with smokers, but anyone can enjoy the zaniness of this movie, although i will say the target audience has been well catered for :) The last scene is particularly good in its appeal to smokers and non smokers. For everyone who thinks Thurgood gave up weed for good, go back and watch the end again. As he's ditchin the spliff she (the spliff) yells "You'll be baaaaack!" and does he contradict her? Nup.
It's one of those endlessly quotable movies that you can stick on whenever and enjoy.
"Will u guys shutup about weed for one second? I don't want this girl to know I smoke!" "Yeah it's bad enough you're a janitor, yo!" "Custodian!"
"Why u gotta make me feel inferior coz I'm on the grill, B?"
And a zillion other gems :) Whoops, forgot to actually include a plot summary...(*ding* Marijuana affects the memory *ding*) Roll a big fat one and enjoy!
Hamburger Hill (1987)
Not the kind you wanna eat...
"Hamburger", it conjures delicious images of meat patties, cheese and burger buns, McDonalds. But, like so many other words in the English language, it also can be used to describe something far less...um...savoury. Thankfully I've never witnessed it, but apparently when a man has been gunned down point blank by a 50-caliber machine gun, he somewhat resembles hamburger meat. Nice image huh? Imagine seeing that over and over again for ten straight days, to your FRIENDS, and you have a GI's experience taking Hill 937 in May, 1969.
In a remarkably simple story, we follow a group (a platoon) of American GI's as they embark on a mission to take a hill someone pointed to on a map. Don't be put off by the simple story. It's a well-written, acted and deeply moving one you will not soon forget.
John Irvin's direction is bold - he doesn't let us ignore the bloodshed: he lingers on the faces of the dead, making sure we see, making sure we recognise the man whose life has just ended so suddenly.
We crawl through the mud and blood, we are assaulted by the sounds of the dying, and the thunder of war. We don't just see it, we are not just shown, we are pulled down into the mud with the grunts.
We feel pain as a medic cries over a headless corpse, some anonymous GI killed in an artillery attack. He ponders the headless man, thinking aloud as he cries, "I don't know who you are..." We experience the sudden-ness of death as a man, wounded, remarks to a comrade: "See you at home..." and then quietly dies.
We witness the horror of a "friendly-fire incident", proving that in amongst the blood and the mud and the filth, it is difficult to tell the difference between a friend and an enemy.
There is no end-of-movie posturing on the futility of war. We are left almost as numb as the soldiers who look back down the hill they just came through hell to capture. We are never removed from this battlefield, and thus it remains in the mind for hours after the movie ends. The anonymous voice of the HQ radio operator trying to raise the platoon over the radio, and his calls going unanswered (the radio operator is long dead), is a haunting and chilling final moment in the film. There is no need for preaching, the images of violence in this film say it louder than any words ever could: war makes beasts of us all.
This is such a brutal, frank and unapologetic anti-war film that I just had to review it and help keep its rating up, because it deserves to be alongside Platoon in the "anti-war" canon of Vietnam movies. It's basically saying in the first 40 minutes here you go, here's a bunch of young, likable guys for you to meet.
Now, in the last 40 minutes, you get to watch most of them die.
And die horribly, at that. Thus, it's not really a "pleasant" or "enjoyable" film, but it is an essential one for any war movie buff, and actually any movie buff in general, because it's a great example of less-is-more. It is also a timely reminder that it is not the grunts our anti-war sentiment (or anger) should be directed at, it is the men and women in suits sitting behind big desks in sterile government offices, pointing at all the "Hill 937s" on maps and saying "Mine."
American Dragons (1998)
Monday night Action-fare
American Dragons (aka Double Edge) is no-brainer action fare, great for a Monday night chilling after work. It's cheap and throwaway, but it's kinda cool. NY Detective forced to team up with Korean Inspector to track down uber-killer from Asia who likes to slice and dice mobsters with swords. Why they don't just let em duke it out between themselves is beyond me. Oh wait...civilians...dang. Plus there is a loose cannon mob guy out and about. We can't have that.
Well anyway, you DO NOT have to think about this movie. Just sit back and watch some pretty decent fight scenes dispersed amidst a run-of-the-mill story. Expect anything more and you've hired the wrong movie, sorry! Michael Biehn walks all over this role as the brooding Detective Tony ("my mother's Irish") Luca, a man blaming himself for the death of a civilian, killed by uber-psycho baddie Rocco (Don Stark). In fact, he feels so bad about it he wears his sunnies all the time (must be to hide the tears), even in Church, where he goes to brood.
But thankfully he also likes partying and kicking ass...what a guy! Oh and he enjoys prancing around a gym with his t-shirt hiked up to show off his muscled torso. In fact, there's a great girly-man fight between him and Joong Hoon Park, the Korean Inspector Kim who turns up to help Mikey kick some of that aforementioned behind (we find out he has a personal reason for this mission! D...rama!) During this fight, they pull hair, squeal like girls and even throw a few awkward missed punches into the air. Awesome. Just awesome. The gym scene is also delightfully homoerotic...just watch those sideways smiley glances they give each other while they pump their guns.
Couple of things I really liked: the first fight in the men's room. Very realistic and quite surprisingly brutal for what I was expecting from this flick. And just after the fight, when Tony leans over the dead cop and his crucifix dangles over the man's face. Again, a surprisingly poignant image for a film of this type.
Well, needless to say after a bit o'good ol' mayhem it's all wrapped up in a neat little package! Enjoy.
The Thin Red Line (1998)
Too many viewpoints? Choppy? Was supposed to go for 9 hours
Terrence Malick reminds me more of a painter than a film maker, in that he doesn't seem really connected or concerned with how an audience is going to respond to his films. He simply makes them, puts them on display and lets you think whatever you're going to think.
Apparently the first cut Terrence Malick did was 9 hours long.
Although even I could never sit through a 9 hour film, i can understand why the finished product (coming in just shy of 3 hours) appears choppy or not fleshed out enough, and why some key players seem only to flit in and out like hummingbirds. But, given these constraints, Malick still delivered whatm, to me, is one of the few definitive "anti" war films out there.
Okay, in my slightly annoying over-analysing of this film i came up with a few things I call "flashes of brilliance", moments in a movie that make me go "whoah...that was COOL!" basically...
Anyways, some flashes of brilliance in Thin Red Line:
1. Capt Staros (Elias Koteas) close up shot of his face as he wonders aloud: "The Japs gotta have something protecting those approaches..." The scene immediately cuts to a POV from a Japanese machine gun bunker. There is total silence, and the barrel simply tracks back and forth, slow and menacing, letting WE the audience know that Staros is indeed correct.
2. Contrasts - many examples of course in TRL, but my favourite has to be the baby bird, a struggling new life in the mud as we hear the thunder of war all around. Brilliant. (oh and FYI if you have ever actually SEEN a baby bird being born you will realise this baby bird is NOT dying, as some commenters have stated)
3. POV shots as the US troops storm the Japanese encampment. No more needs to be said.
4. Difficult scene to watch - the American GI "talking" with a wounded Japanese soldier, being so casually vicious and evil, but speaking in such a slow, gentle way, before leaning over and pulling gold teeth from a dead man's mouth. Chilling.
5. A soldier crawling through long grass and the long grass touching his face reminds him of his wife's caress. Inspired brilliance, IMO.
The film is not perfect. It's lengthy and convoluted, and has too many viewpoints. A more narrow field of focus would have helped the film, as it is, it's a little "detached" in that you don't feel as much for these young men as you should in this situation.
Although the moment near the end, one of Sean Penn's final "inner-monologues", I paraphrase, but one sentence ends with "If I never meet you in this life, let me feel the lack..." a moment that hit me in the heart and made me swallow, big time.
Many have complained about the lack of dialogue. The beauty of Terrence Malick's writing is what is NOT said. Like the scene where Witt gently washes water over a comrade's head who has just come from a battle and is crying.
But, then again, I'm just a PSEUDO INTELLECTUAL so what would I know? ;)
A Beautiful Mind (2001)
Quite simply a brilliant movie
Don't read this if you have NOT seen the movie. You've been warned.
A brilliant, well-written (Akiva Goldsman) drama, a semi-fictionalised account of the life of renowned mathematician and schizophrenic, John Nash. Nash is played by Russell Crowe, in one of the few roles I've seen him in where he has NOT annoyed the heck out of me. He just seems too arrogant and full of himself.
Anyway, A Beautiful Mind begins with Nash's early years at Princeton University, and follows him to the time he was awarded the Nobel Prize. It charts his decline into schizophrenia very well, including a whopper of a twist that I did not see coming in a million years. Like John's friends and associates, I believed every word, no matter how far-fetched it all seemed after a while.
I applaud any film that deals with mental illness in a serious way and doesn't poke fun at it. Aside from the fact that every Hollywood movie (and this one is NO exception) seems to feel the need to show at least one person gently rocking back and forth whenever we are shown a mental institution. I find it so bizarre that the "gentle rocker" seems to show up all the time...what condition is it that they think this guy has? Too much LSD while head banging to a Slayer concert?
HERE COMIN'THE BIG SPOILS people: That aside, A Beautiful Mind is a very well made film. Guaranteed if you enjoy it you'll want to see it a second time to spot all the William Parcher moments (my two favourites are when he first appears to talk to John outside the University dorm, and he just "appears" at the top of the stairs, you never see him actually open the door and walk through, nor do you hear it close behind him, because of course, he's not really there. And my other favourite is passing the security gate, where the guard doesn't notice Archer at all. I kicked myself for not picking that up the first time around!) The Paul Bettany character of Charles, Nash's imaginary roommate, is so awesome and such a great character that I found myself wishing he WAS real, and I genuinely felt sorry for him when Nash finally tells him he's not going to acknowledge him any more. I was feeling sorry for a figment of someone's imagination! Bettany is a legend, a great actor in my opinion (he's also terrific in another Crowe film, Master and Commander, and is even very good in the crappy rom-com Wimbledon).
Jennifer Connelly plays Nash's wife, Alicia, who stuck by him all through his worst years, when his delusions were basically controlling his entire existence. Connelly never gets too teary-eyed or melodramatic, and has a strength in her eyes that compliments her picturesque beauty.
Crowe's shuffling John Nash is great, a far-cry from Hando in Romper Stomper, let me tell you! He plays the sort of messed-up yet-still-smugly-intellectual character that should be worthy of derision but ends up being the exact opposite.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)
Totally underrated, brilliant film, harking back to the samurai legends of old
One of the producers of this great little action comedy was Raymond Chow, a famous Hong Kong producer who has produced a number of films for the awesome Jackie Chan. He also has worked on loads of kung-fu actioners over the years, some forgettable, some great.
"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie" falls into the great category. Elevated above other easily forgotten movies of the early 90's by it's cool direction, neat cast and nicely rounded script (Elias Koteas in one of his first roles, fantastic as the vigilante Casey Jones - most recently he's been in David Fincher's "Zodiac", and he played the doomed designer of "SimONE" in the Al Pacino film of the same name).
Two things that, IMO, cannot go without a decent mention here. Raphael, always my favourite turtle (heck, check him out in the new CG film "TMNT"), is typically awesome here as the brash loner who acts without thinking. His scene with Splinter, in which the rat-sensai counsels him on his anger, is amazingly touching considering you are watching a puppet and a guy in a rubber turtle suit! From first seeing this in theatres in 1990-91, to this day i have never forgot Splinters words, that rang so true to me then and still resonate now. He tells Raph that if he doesn't confront his anger, it will become "an unconquerable enemy".
The other thing is Jim Henson's puppets (his son Brian was the chief puppeteer and assistant director on this film), and the guys in the turtle suits who managed to pull off some fairly decent martial arts work while wearing i think it was 50-80 lbs of foam rubber turtle! Amazing, and the facial expressions the turtle suits are capable of was WAY ahead of its time here.
Another thing, lastly, is the similarities this story has to old samurai legends I have read and heard, particularly one in which a warlord takes control of a whole community and four brothers and apprentice samurai avenge the death of their master and in doing so, free the community.
The messages about being strong together, and the bonds of family are great, the humour is laugh out loud (like the scene where Mikey is contemplatively gazing at the moon, and Donatello comes up to him and you are expecting something deep, but Mikey just goes "Pizza dude's got 30 seconds...", and Raph's great line when facing down the evil Foot Clan single-handedly: "You guys must be studying the ABRIDGED book of ninja fighting!") I'm sure I'm not alone in loving this film, and maybe this stuff has all been said before but i just had to add my approval and high rating to this neglected little gem. I'll never forget wearing out my (green!) VHS tape as a kid, and then challenging all my mates "oooh, a fellow chucker, eh??!". It was the best.
So get a pizza (i keep meaning to put subtitles on and get the exact same pizza Mikey orders at the start of the movie hehe), and kick back with the dudes to re-experience the film that KICK-STARTED the 90's for a generation of kids who still knew what it meant to be called in before the sun goes down. Oh man, to be a kid again! Enjoy!
Stand by Me (1986)
Rediscovered the movie, rediscovered me
There's no plot outline in here, come to think of it this is not even actually a real "review"
I was 7 years old when Stand By Me was released. I didn't see it right away. I guess I first saw it when I was around the same age as Gordie, Vern, Chris and Teddy. I remember being impressed at the guys' performances, and almost feeling as if I'd just made 4 new friends after seeing the movie.
Little did I yet know how profound an impact this film would have on my life. "Coming of age" for any generation is a difficult and confusing time. Things tempt you this way and that, not all of them positive. Suffice it to say, I gave in to most of the negative temptation. In some ways, Chris (River Phoenix) was the character I most identified with as I saw the movie again as a late-teen. But, I also admitted there was a whole lot of Gordie in me too. And just a little Vern...and perhaps even a touch of Teddy. That's what so great about this movie. I was revisiting old friends. At that time, as the movie ended with Chris fading away, was the first time I was to confront demons controlling my life, and say to myself, "maybe I CAN..." I wasn't strong enough until years later, lost in a haze at some god-forsaken hour of the morning, barely waking to that soft tune that opens the film. Somewhere, a memory triggers and I'm back there, in sunny days with the smell of mown grass in my nostrils, chasing that girl with the ribbons and climbing trees, sitting down in front of a hearth-like family TV and watching Stand By Me all those years ago.
To credit a simple film with turning my life around for the better would be melodramatic, and inaccurate, but like it's title, this film has "stood by me" for as long as I can remember. I find myself humming that beautifully soft version of Ben E King's famous song for days after I've watched it.
And no, I've never had any friends since, like the ones I had when I was 12.
Soul Man (1986)
Soul food...
You know those winter meals you make for cold nights, they're in no way good for you but they just give you that comforted feeling? That's the way we "children of the 80's" look back on those truly awful but oh-so-memorably cheesy flicks we grew up on. Who could forget Carl Weathers' failed attempt to become a leading male action movie star with the dreadful Action Jackson? Or the talking computer and the romantic nerd who made an incredibly annoying song very popular for about a year? Or good ol' Kev Bacon strutting around a barn to a cheesy 80's pop tune... And let's not forget the horror and bad post-star wars science fiction...but that's another review. Onto the delicious slice of cheesecake at hand that is Soul Man.
Very white-white guy Mark Watson (C Thomas Howell) has just got into Harvard Law with his best bud (Arye Gross), but there's a spanner in the works. His newly enlightened Dad (the very funny James B Sikking) has decided to let Mark grow up a little by paying his own way. Unable to come up with the 50k Mark scams a scholarship meant for an African American student by taking an overdose of tanning pills and Michael Jackson-ing his hair. He gets in, and his "education" begins as he learns what it's like to be black on a mostly-white campus, and falls in love with a black girl (Rae Dawn Chong) to boot.
It's typical 80's rom-com formula all the way, boy-meets-girl, boy loses girl while learning life lessons, boy-gets-girl in the end kind of thing. There's even a woefully cheesy romantic montage scene to the tunes of "Suddenly it's Magic"...pure gold! This one stands out from the pack because a) it has some genuinely gut-busting moments, and b) it has great performances from all the leads. C Thomas Howell is achingly hilarious in some scenes as the white-guy-trying-to-act-like a black guy. His facial expressions during the basketball game scene are gold. Rae Dawn Chong is always good, she's a great "straight-guy" to Howell's over-the-top Mark Watson. Arye Gross is great, it's easy to see why he went on to other (better) things, he's got some great comic timing and provides some of the movie's best moments. And James Earl Jones, although a little bit "i did this for the money", is imposing and dead-pan funny at the same time.
It's not without it's flaws. The "Kareem" thing was a tad distasteful and required just a little too much suspension of disbelief. The black panther get-up at the BSLA meeting was just ridiculous, for one scene Watson seemingly becomes a total moron, then reverts back to being a normal guy. And the over the top punch out scene at the end where the two racist jokers go flying over cafeteria tables, that was just silly. But to compensate, there's some incredibly funny moments and just a good all round "feel" to this movie that will ensure it gets another play in my house soon.
So, to sum up, Soul Man elicits more laughs than groans, so it's a winner in my books.
Arthur et les Minimoys (2006)
Not one for jaded souls, find the kid within!
Despite the fact it took me more than a moment to get over the fact that that's MADONNA chatting up Freddie Highmore, a 10 year old kid wouldn't know that...so I can forgive the odd casting choice for Princess Selenia (though there are at least a dozen actresses working today with cuter voices than hers...anyway...) Okay, so before I hit PLAY on this one I "zenned" myself into the mindset of a ten year old kid, and guess what, I actually found heaps to enjoy in this film from the not so tranquil mind of Luc Besson.
4.9 rating...tsk tsk...proves there's not enough kids allowed to use the PC i reckon. Or not enough adults with healthy inner children...whatever. Any film that can provoke emotions in me is a winner in my books, and this one certainly is no exception. My heart tore just a little bit when Freddie Highmore's Arthur was lamenting the absence of his parents on his birthday. I developed a healthy kids-flick hatred for the live action villain of the land developer or whatever, when he kicked Arthur's toy car down the drain I found myself mentally flipping him the bird, and knew with a sense of gleeful satisfaction that coz it WAS a kids movie, he'd get what's coming to him in the end! And what a stunningly well-crafted and realised world of the Minimoys...wow! A lot of love and thought and care went into the creation of this world, with only a scant few annoying characters (Beta-whatever-your-name-was, I'm lookin at you, you freakin little troll doll!) As an adult I was a little distracted by the celebrity voices in the English version because I of course closed my eyes for a split second and could see the actors, in sweats and five-o'clock shadows, reading the lines from a script into a microphone in a recording studio while sucking on mugs of coffee. But kids will not be distracted by it, and since they technically are the audience this is aimed at, i got over that distraction pretty quick. The Snoop cameo was so out of place I laughed but the dance/fight on the turntables was pretty cool. The transitions between live action and the Minimoy world were done really well I thought (side note: water and fire used to be two of the hardest things to realistically create with CGI effects, but apparently we're past that, coz in this it all looks fantastic).
Narc (2002)
Unique and visceral - a stunning debut from a talented film maker
This film set a record for the number of producer credits, because so many people got behind it to ensure it got made. And with good reason. It's quite probably the best independent feature I've ever seen.
The opening shot of Detective Nick Tellis (Jason Patric) is quiet and brooding, and you settle down into your seat only to be blasted with a scene straight out of a nightmare, that ends with him shooting a junkie who found out he was a cop. He accidentally shoots a pregnant woman in the exchange. She survives but miscarries. Tellis is, of course discharged from the ranks and put on a disability pension, as once he is "brought up for air" (taken off active undercover duty) it is discovered he is also a junkie himself.
Due to his "prolonged contact with the city's drug element" Nick is asked to read some files on a "dead-end" 60-day-old case of a murdered undercover narc named Mike Calvess (Alan Van Sprang). This leads him to be partnered with Calvess' best friend, a hulking, brooding, violent Detective named Henry Oak (Ray Liotta), who is going to "bag the m*therf*ckers that killed Mike", no matter what rules and regs he's gotta break to do so.
This film stays tough and gritty throughout, it's full of disturbing little scenes of life in Detroit's (for lack of a better word) slums.
Director Joe Carnahan blends soft, warm colours for the scenes of Tellis with his wife and baby boy, contrasting this sharply with fog-greys, muted blues and shadow for the scenes on the violent streets of inner city Detroit. It is this startling contrast that elevates this film beyond mere street-cop-thriller-chase etc to something akin to a masterpiece. The jump cutting can be a little distracting at times (twice i thought to myself, okay, I KNOW this character is imagining this, you don't need to remind me again with ANOTHER flash-cut to his concentrating eyes!) But I can forgive it, I mean, for a debut effort you gotta expect a couple of kinks, and to be honest it's not all that distrating, I didn't even notice til maybe my fifth viewing. And the film is just amazing. Patric gives the performance of his career as the troubled narc Tellis, dealing with an almost unhealthy obsession with the case while trying to keep together a new, young family and steer clear of his own demons that continue to haunt him as he delves once again into that brutal world. It's amazing how compelling he is to watch, even when he is saying nothing. When he does speak you believe every word. His wife, Audrey (Krista Bridges) struggles to understand, and rightly so. She sees him slipping away again. Bridges is great, so real as she stands there, pleading with him as she watches him hold his 10 month old son. These scenes are not played for emotion - you actually feel a little awkward watching them, as if you have just walked in on a real argument between a real cop and his wife.
Liotta is a powerful presence from his first moments on screen. The intensity in his eyes is at times frightening, yet he displays a depth beneath the rough exterior, exposes in snippets a past that was also warm, and brightly coloured, but has since given way to a cynical, consuming kind of rage.
There is not a scrap of dialogue in the script that is not relevant to something else that is said, or that occurs later in the film. It's great to pick up on these, as well as all the subtle glances Tellis and Oak give each other at key moments.
The commentary track is a really nice mix of "production talk", and a very informative expansion of some interesting character moments and storyline elements that really enhanced my enjoyment of the film when viewing it again. Carnahan is extremely talented and I'm looking forward to seeing what he comes up with next.
Shoot to Kill (1988)
Solid action-thriller starring Sidney....PWAAAT-EE-AY!
First, if you haven't seen it, and are planning to, DON'T look at the back of the Region 1 DVD cover! It gives something away that is supposed to be a mystery until about 40 minutes into the movie! This movie is cool in that it's one of those suspense thrillers that limits the number of protagonists and does away with all but superficial sub-plots in favour of fast-paced, exciting chase sequences. As one reviewer said, it "grabs and doesn't let go".
We begin in the city. Sidney Poitier plays Warren Stanton, an FBI, or "G" man, called in by the local cops to investigate a suspicious diamond theft - the owner of the store apparently "stole" his OWN diamonds. It only takes a stern gaze from Stanton for the store owner's resolve to break, and he spills the beans: a man has kidnapped his wife, and is holding her to ransom while the owner goes and gets the diamonds.
Stanton intervenes, and tries in vain to negotiate the woman's release with disastrous consequences, and the man makes his escape. We know immediately this guy is dangerous, that's evident from the way he executes the maid, but what we soon learn is that he is extremely smart as well. Except for one huge mistake, which ultimately cost him his life even though he makes said mistake about 20 minutes into the movie...but anyway...nitpicking! I'll talk about the mistake in a sec.
The man escapes into the Pacific Northwest wilderness, hooking up with a troop of holiday fisherman being led through the rockies by a guide, Sarah (Kirstie Alley). Cut off from outside communication, there is no way to warn Sarah or her fishermen that a dangerous killer walks among the group.
Stanton, in the meantime, enlists the aid of Sarah's boyfriend Johnathan Knox (Tom Berenger), a "rugged mountain man" type, to lead him into the wilderness in pursuit of Sarah, who (unknowingly at first) is harboring a psycho.
Interestingly, the Australian release title of this film, Deadly Pursuit, was more fitting i thought. Now, the mistake: the killer has escaped, basically...he's in the woods, he's killed a fisherman for his clothes, he is gonna join the fishing guys and Sarah and basically hijack the adventure holiday to get himself over the border into Canada. Now, why on Earth would he shoot the fisherman in the left eye (being the EXACT SAME way he executed the diamond-guy's wife) thus tipping the authorities to the fact that it's the same guy responsible. For the smart guy he's made out to be, it seems a bit far-fetched that he would leave such an obvious signature. Maybe a bit of lazy writing which I can kind of forgive, given that the rest of the film is so good. Or maybe I'm way off and it's just that this killer is a bit of an idiot and egotist who WANTED Stanton to know it was him. Either way, it's a great chase/adventure through the mountain wilderness, with some great photography and several key stunt sequences that really work. Stanton's fish-out-of-water stuff provides some comic relief, like the moose scene, and the "what the hell are these?" - "Battery powered, heated socks, the latest thing!" The music is also good, fitting to the action and the pace of the film. Kirstie Alley is good as the tough mountain chick, who is "pretty good at looking after" herself, and shows that she's not all talk once the kidnapper reveals himself to her. Tom Berenger plays another "tough guy" role here with enthusiasm. He's a rugged character, tough as nails and you feel his commitment to finding Sarah at all costs. You want him to get his hands on the kidnapper-guy, because you just know he'd kick the sh*t out of him in three seconds, gun or no gun! Anyway...that wouldn't be as exciting a movie I suppose! So a couple of things stretch believability...but they are minor unless you are really opposed to that kind of thing...in which case maybe don't hire action-thrillers? The only one that's a bit strange is having the 50-something Sidney Poitier take like 6 gunshot wounds to the torso (and I'm talking, like, a 9mm here, not a .22 or a pellet gun) and yet is still able to wrestle a 30-something, uninjured man over the side of a ferry and then proceed to hand-fight him underwater and finally kill him, all while holding your breath (you'd wanna hope one of those bullets didn't puncture a lung!) and once he's disposed of, get yourself back on board only to collapse just in time for some paramedics to put a stretcher under you...okay...but anyway, like I said, this is an ACTION-THRILLER...not a documentary or hard-hitting war drama, so I can forgive some minor plot discrepancies and liberties here and there, because, all in all, this is just a damn good film! It's worth mentioning that the script is co-written by Daniel Petrie Jr - a great mind of the action genre.
It's great in that for the first 40 minutes or so, you as an audience member do not know who the killer is among the band of fisherman. Once you do know, it's like the gloves come off and this film kicks into high gear for the final thrilling chase sequence as the killer makes his desperate dash for the border, Stanton and Knox only a step behind... In having a tricky reveal like that, you kind of limit your audience as far as replay value is concerned, so I can sort of understand why this movie is kind of forgotten today. Once you know the twist why bother watching it again? I say for the performances, the setting, the adventure...I've seen this movie probably 20 times growing up and again just last night, and I can still say I enjoy it immensely.
Mountains of the Moon (1990)
What's amazing is...they went BACK.
This film is so atmospheric it makes you want to pack a rucksack, some provisions, bid the family goodbye and jump aboard a boat headed for the dark continent...welcome to Mountains of the Moon, based on the true life exploits of 1850's explorers Sir Richard Burton and John Hanning Speke.
Bob Rafelson has done a fine job directing this historical epic, and it's a shame this great film is not more readily available. It begins when Michael Small's wonderful theme segues over the titles into some tribal drums and we see ships landing on an African shore. Speke (Iain Glen) has travelled to Morocco to meet Burton (Patrick Bergin), a seasoned explorer. Both men have a fascination with finding the source of the Nile River.
The film jumps straight into the action, with Burton narrating their first foray together into the fold of the dark continent, the area on maps of the time that was simply a great blank expanse, labelled "Uncharted and Unexplored".
Their camp is attacked in the dead of night by a hostile tribe, who kill many of Burton's party, along with most of the African porters along for the journey, and take Speke captive, while Burton flees to the ocean shore with the head porter, but not before taking a spear through the face. Speke awakes in the morning to the brutal tribe picking through the camp and torturing survivors, and after being tortured himself (in a truly disturbing scene as we realise this tribesman that is stabbing him in the thighs with a spear is not doing it to "interrogate", he is doing it purely for the fun of it) makes a knuckle-biting escape to join Burton at the seaside where ships have come to take them home.
After this dramatic opening, the film settles into a nice rhythm, cutting back to some scenes in England where Burton meets Isabel Arundel (Fiona Shaw), who would become the love of his life. Fiona Shaw's performance is great, her powerful voice and demeanour a perfect match for Burton's larger than life persona and brash nature.
Then it's off to Africa again, and a wonderful trek across the endless savanna to discover the source of the great river that fascinates both men, and indeed an entire nation back home.
But Burton is struck ill on the journey, and it is Speke who finishes the trek, finding what he (correctly, though he didn't know it then) thought to be the source of the Nile, a great lake he named Victoria.
Back in England again, the story turns to the subsequent betrayal of Burton by Speke, in claiming sole credit for the discovery, and that drove a permanent wedge between the friends.
As in Burton's own words he describes his relationship with John Speke as being as close as two men can become without being lovers. That is truly shown in this film, the relationship is real, and heart-felt, by both performers in a truly amazing film.
Particularly moving is when Burton is informed of his friend's death/suicide while giving a speech, and though he tries, is unable to continue speaking. It's very well acted...he doesn't break down or anything, but you can see the sadness crawl across his features like a shadow as he falters over his words.
Costumes, music, photography, it's all superb, and to specify how superb it is would be redundant. It's simply better to experience it for yourself. It's immersive and rich, and for a historical epic (a genre notoriously prone to too-long, melodramatic and ultimately boring films) it moves along at a nice pace that never gets dull. The dialogue is wonderfully written, as is the film itself, adapted in part from Burton's own manuscripts.
The scenes in England are all the more beautiful with the performance of Fiona Shaw. Her final words to Burton are stirring and so effortlessly believable. Another standout scene is a brief appearance by Bernard Hill as Sir David Livingstone (you'll recognise him most recently as Theodan, King of Rohan in the Lord of the Rings films).
Perfect for a comfy night in on the couch, this movie has adventure, action, humour, depth of character and story, great music and photography, and a "sitting round the campfire telling stories" kind of feel that is just great. Highly recommended.