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Der Bunker (2015)
It's an outrage that I'm the first to review this
I'm really quite shocked that no one besides myself has taken the trouble to spend a few minutes ranting about this wonderfully dark and weird comedy. If you are reading this review then I highly recommend you track down and watch this gem.
This film was on television a couple of days ago and being a German film about a bunker I had foregone the conclusion that this would certainly be something to do with the war- not even close. I was further enticed by the mention in the description of perversity because it was late at night and I'm a guy that had no plans that particular evening.
All that aside, there was no perversity. There were one or two comical sexual scenes but this film is a brilliantly awkward comedy based around the strange characters that make up this secluded family, the student who comes to stay with them and the mysterious "Heinrich", who I shall offer no further description of lest it somehow depreciate his mystery.
I cannot claim to have seem many funny German films, I'm sure they must exist but I can't think of any other ones that have made it as far as for me to find on English television. Usually anything in German on English television will in some way reference the war, something that this doesn't. So in that context it's special.
I almost missed this film, but I was unable to find it to download anywhere so stayed up and watched it and am very thankful I did. I'm not sure why it isn't more widely known because it's really great and stayed with me for quite some time. I think I saw it about a week or two ago and it keeps popping back into my mind. Anyway, enjoy it if you can find it.
10 Cloverfield Lane (2016)
A film of many unpredictable turns
So to start off with, this film is amazing and I can't imagine there being a demographic that couldn't enjoy it. You should see it if you haven't because as I just said, it's amazing.
Before the film has even begun you draw assumptions about it based on its name and the previous film relating to that title. Abandon all that as much as you can, this film takes on so many forms and keeps changing direction so as to shake the audience out of those preconceptions and force you to enjoy the film for the fantastically unpredictable beast that it is. At one point it seems to be a hostage film, then horror, then briefly a buddy film, then horror again and then ends on a seemingly completely unrelated twist that will have every muscle in your body invested in the conclusion to the story.
Cloverfield was a fairly good alien horror film and an OK film overall, whereas 10 Cloverfield Lane squarely surpasses any ambition and story telling skill displayed by the film it shares a semblance of its name with. This film is superior in every way and is such a roller-coaster ride of ever-changing direction that I fail to think of anything close to what it accomplishes that I could compare it to.
Go. Watch. Enjoy.
The VVitch: A New-England Folktale (2015)
A fantastically immersive experience
Any film which scares Stephen King (which this one reportedly did) has got to be worth a look- and this one is so rewarding in ways that most horror films just aren't these days. Most horror films, especially ones with as much publicity as this one, are reliant on the usual mix of jump-scares and over the top gore with not much substance at their core other than a bit of exhilarating blood-splattering fun. This film draws you into its world brilliantly through simple and effective devices like dim candlelight, claustrophobic rooms and thoroughly believable acting. It builds wonderfully and each of the horrific and eerie moments come at just the right time and aren't overdone. You become entrenched in the world of a small farm house by a big spooky woods through the eyes of the religious fervour and fears of an ordinary family in 1630. It is mesmerising, hypnotic and eerily thrilling and the faithfulness of the research done by its creators to portray the time as historically accurate is impressive. This is a film that I believe will be regarded as a classic in years to come, much in the vein of films like The Wicker Man. It is a timeless horror that will resound as much in ten or twenty years as it would have done twenty years ago. The essential elements of good filmmaking and horror story are all accounted for here. I heavily recommend this film to anyone interested in horror, history or drama.
The Girlfriend Experience (2016)
Entertaining titillation with ultimately a missed logical reward of substance but I like it anyway
If my summary title of this could be the whole review, then I would leave it at that. I enjoyed watching this show, I did so during a day and I was compelled each time to follow up with the next episode- and not just for the gorgeous and fantastically sexy Riley Keough (I felt like seeing Elvis' granddaughter's tits was kind of something I wanted to do) but also for the storyline which really built up nicely ...only to sort of let it down in the end and just do nothing with all that tension, missing out on a massively rewarding and expected treat. The finale was anticlimactic and made me think that the more thought provoking and emotional aspects of this show were an accidental byproduct of just creating a vehicle to showcase Riley Keough's tits. I don't want to believe that but the cynic in me more than entertains the possibility of a TV network hoping to rope in some higher ratings by just conceding to the lowest common denominator. This show really had some terrific moments and whether clumsily or accidentally discards them in a faux-ironic act of having a bland bit of light neo-pornographic airtime substitute for a resolution, twist, or at the very least anything that resembled the conclusion of a coherent train of thought.
Once again, I did like it, it wasn't bad. It had a lot of interesting and great moments that had it's finale ultimately betray its potential that made it more than prettily aesthetic fluff. It was a nice and enjoyable way to pass the time of day but I really felt disappointed by the ending. It's like they had filmed all the sex they wanted to and just gave up on excusing it with anything resembling what previously seemed to be a promising storyline.
Riley Keough is amazing though, and it is solely due to her efforts that allow me to give this a 6 instead of the bare 5 that it would otherwise have deserved.
Knight of Cups (2015)
Like watching a foreign film without subtitles
This film is beautiful, it is poetic and it is bullsht.. it is thoroughly depressing and at times confusing. The only relief to this is when your confusion abades when finally you stop trying to figure out what the Hell is actually going on and on when you simply decide to enjoy the pretty colours and shapes of American architecture and scenery. Because to wonder why the characters (if you can even call them that) are in any place and for what reason to to grasp at straws which aren't even there.
This film is essentially an aggrandising and glorification of the shallow side of human nature in the most unrelentingly pitying fashion. It's two hours worth of very little substance with some very big names, filmed in a very beautiful way. It's like a feature length GQ photo shoot.
That all said, it was very pretty. Just don't expect to come away from it with anything other than a sense of numbness. As I say in my title, it is very much like watching a foreign film without subtitles. You get the gist of what's going on, but there is no detail for which you can attach yourself emotionally. You won't care about any of the characters nor what is going on, if anything was actually going on at all.
Alternative titles for this film may have included "Christian bale gets so bored that he thinks he might possess actual human emotion but it turns out he just took some mescaline with a model" or "rich people get so happy that it eventually makes them sad".
Josh (2014)
Depressingly unfunny
This show is like a sitcom minus the com. It's so bad it feels like it had a laugh track to it, but then they removed it because they felt that even the disingenuous pre-recorded laughter gave this show more credit as a comedy than it deserved. Everything about this show is a dry play-by-numbers of abused clichés that should never have been approved by the desperate horde of BBC production staff after the roofies Josh Widdecomb supplied them with had worn off. This show seems to whisper each line with the reserved embarrassment that it deserves. It genuinely made me feel sad. I approached this with an open mind and a willingness to be entertained but the longer I watched this in hope of some redeeming feature, the more I felt like the postponement of my liberation from this was some sort of cruel prison.
I can't think of many comedies worse than this from the BBC. Josh Widdecomb is incredibly tiresome in every way, from the undeserved appearance of smug self-fulfilment to his repetitive use of his irritating tone voice which parallels in its annoyance with that of Michael McIntyre.
I cannot imagine anyone sitting through this unless they came home from a long day at work, opened up a bottle of wine or cyanide (depending on how hard the day was), switching the TV on and then sitting down before realising the remote control was missing, being too tired to find it and then ending up following the wine with the cyanide.
Avoid this at all costs. I hope the desperation of the BBC talent pool evolves beyond the enabling of such traumas as this show and the tolerance of all things Josh Widdecomb.
I only awarded this show as high of a rating as 1 because of the quality of lighting and camera-work that you would expect from a national broadcaster like the BBC.
I can imagine this show being on repeat in a waiting room at a dignitas euthanasia clinic in Switzerland & if I am ever since one suffer the misfortune of being subjected to another episode then I may make a reservation there myself.
SuperBob (2015)
Lovely little film
I put off watching this film for so long because of all the negative reviews on here but I've just finished watching it and felt compelled to log on here and tell you all just how much I enjoyed it and don't listen to all the negative reviews. I don't know what those people were expecting, maybe they prefer those awful Marvel Avengers films instead, in which case, I have no empathy with such people because I hated those.
This is a nice little film with no huge budget, it didn't need one, it doesn't rely on effects and its not really a superhero film in that way. It's just a nice understated feel good film about a hopeless dullard who just happens to be the world's only superhero. I laughed or chuckled out loud more than three times and had plenty of moments were it just made me smile. It had a few familiar faces, the lead was recognisable to me from the series 'Derek', which I have to point out how much I hated that show so as not to tarnish the quality of my opinion. I enjoy everything Ricky Gervais has ever done with the exception of that show, Extras and the Office were amazing but Derek is the worst ordeal I've ever voluntarily put myself through. Sorry to go through that in more detail than was probably necessary, but yeah, the lead guy had a small role in that and this film is good and I recommend you see it.
Charlie's Farm (2014)
Solid Aussie horror romp
As films go, this was a 5 but as horror films go, this was a 6. This really had everything you would want from a slasher flick: a menacing and monstrous baddie with a sad and weird backstory, a variety of kills and plenty of gore and creepy moments in eerie settings. This isn't one of the great Australian horror films but it is a dependably good one. It does everything you want it to. The build up is nicely paced and then it just kicks off and doesn't relent until it ends.
One of the things I really liked about this film was that it was a horror that wasn't filled with teens and tweens unlike a lot of films in the genre these days.
It was an enjoyable watch and a good way to fill the late night. If you like your horror films then I'd recommend this one to you.
Sense8 (2015)
Amazing show that I am hooked on
At the time of writing this, it's around half five in the afternoon and I meant to go to sleep about half a day ago but I made the terrible mistake of watching the first episode of Sense 8. I always put on something to help me fall asleep, but it has to be something kinda crappy that will basically bore me to sleep and since everyone I know who has seen Sense 8 told me it was rubbish I thought that I'd fall asleep to it. This show is absolutely brilliant and I am in love with it. I haven't seen a show this gripping and detailed while still maintaining a fast pace in a long time. It's got everything you want and perhaps things you don't even usually look for in a show. It's intelligent (it'll take you like twenty minutes to get your head around the ability that the people in the show share, but bear with it, focus on everything else til then), it's funny, has romantic elements which aren't cheesily done, it's got action, suspense, mystery and its all done with a very real warmth that ropes you in.
I read one review on here before watching it, in which the author said that they felt like the characters were their friends because of how well they are presented and how very human they are. These aren't just some two dimensional throwaway characters simply designed as plot devices, these have been thought out and the character development is great, you really get to know them. So at one point I was feeling really very physically tired since I haven't slept in a while due to this show and briefly considered turning it off but then I felt like I couldn't abandon them. I am fully invested in this show and I thoroughly recommend that you get in on it too.
The only way anyone could consider this show bad is it they didn't bother to take the time to watch a bit of it and basically just dismissed it out of ignorance. This isn't a show just aimed at men or women, this is a show aimed at people. There's something that everyone can enjoy or feel represented by in this show.
So if you're considering watching this, I would only advise that you clear your schedule for the next day because this will be your life until it's over. I really hope Netflix graces us with another season of this because it certainly deserves it. It's right up there with House of Cards and Daredevil. Maybe better than Daredevil actually, which is saying a lot because I loved that show and its definitely better than Orange is the New Black.
I've given it a vote of 8 and its very nearly a 9, but I can't in good conscience give it that score which belongs to only maybe less than a handful of shows without having seen the series concluded to some brilliant conclusion, which I believe it will do so if allowed to live out its story to the fullest by the executives cutting cheques at Netflix. I seriously hope they recognise its brilliance.
So get comfy, grab some refreshments and crack into this.
Everest (2015)
Really, really boring with no redeeming quality
This film attracted me by way of its huge advertising campaign, brilliant cast ensemble and a thrilling premise. Unfortunately, it was very boring. The set up in the first thirty minutes seemed rather promising and although the pace and characters seemed gentle and unassuming, I assumed there might be just a little more to look forward to than the hour and a half that followed. My time could have been summed up by simply having someone explain what happened next, which would have taken no more than thirty seconds.
If this film didn't have the cast it did then there is no way it would have the score it does here on IMDb. This film is not memorable and I gladly forgot it's boorish tedium by engaging myself in another film soon after.
I would avoid this unless you are by virtue quite a boring person, if so, then by all means, have at it. I would not recommend this film at all. It's basically a news article clipping that has been expanded with a multitude of Hollywood fluff.
The Green Inferno (2013)
Entertaining gory film
This film is a good film, not a great film. It fits Eli Roth's usual MO of high handed Gore and violence with more than a wink of comedy to the gruesome acts. If you're familiar with his other films then you'll know what I mean, and this film is no exception to his trend.
In this one some wide-eyed and idealistic American tweens go off to the jungle to protest the destruction of it and the habitat of an indigenous tribe and then without giving anything away, it all kicks off.
The acting is decent, there's a few good shocks and a few tongue in cheek laughs. It's a good way to spend an hour and a half. There's no big moral or anything to take away from the film, it's just a bit of schlocky fun. Enjoy it for what it is.
Garm Wars: The Last Druid (2014)
Before I recommend this film I must also recommend mild drug use
OK so this film is insane. For two reasons:
1- for being utter nonsensical fantasy gibberish 2- for investing as much time, effort and money into developing such a bonkers story into such an amazingly vivid spectacle of CGI beauty.
Nothing about this film made much of any sense to me. I've just finished watching it and literally have NO idea what a Garm is. Absolutely none. I understood nothing about this film other than some mad old bloke and some woman with a gun were on the run, accompanied by some other bloke with an unreasonably large gun.
Now, I said this film was visually beautiful, and it is. There are some breathtaking scenes in it. Unfortunately, to balance that out and reinforce the rating of a majestic four that I have given it, they have countered these high action scenes with two really, REALLY long scenes of the aforementioned people just sitting on their buttocks discussing the also aforementioned nonsensical drivel.
So the only way I would recommend this film to you is if you were really high, and even then I would suggest fast forwarding through the beach scene and any other time they seem to be too focused on the act of talking. The only strength of this film lies in its aesthetic beauty and I will admit the dog was the only element of bafflement that I found entertaining.
..and if you aren't high, then do yourself a favour and pick any other film in the world.
Clown (2014)
Inventive and original horror
There aren't too many clown films but this ranks as one of the finest in that subgenre. It has a really original and interesting take on terror origin of the clown and makes it something entertainingly creepy to watch. The storyline is well executed and follows the other trends that make Eli Roth films great fun to watch as a horror fan. There's plenty of gore and twisted violence, but it's always managed to be incorporated into a context that adds rather than just distracts from the plot in some way. There's enough films out there that offer nothing but violence in place of a storyline, and this one manages to harness violence in a very creepy and effective way towards the tone of the film.
As horror films go, this is one of the most memorable that I've seen in a long, long time and as I write this I am unable to think of any other recent horror titles that were as memorable as this, in terms of the overall scare factor and anyone that manages to somehow find an original take on anything in the horror genre deserves points.
I saw this film about a month or so ago and as I've only just signed up to IMDb felt that this should be one of my first recommendations as it really has stayed with me and I've recommended it already to plenty of people via word of mouth.
If you hate clowns, this film will do bad things to you But if you love horror then get all over this! It's amazing and since seeing it I've been checking out other works from the director and am loving them.
Life Stinks (1991)
Charming little film from Mel Brooks
So to begin with, as others have pointed out over the years, this is not his finest film. That being said, it's a nice film. 'Nice' being the operative word. It's polite in that way, it's relaxing and doesn't demand anything of its viewer.
So if you come at this film with a bare minimum of mental energy, possibly after a few drinks or curled up in bed, you will likely take the maximum enjoyment that can be garnered from this film and its gentle comedy. It's got no big laughs or shocks and will give you a mild smile or a chuckle before you fall asleep.
This was pretty much how I watched it and I had a nice time. I wouldn't recommend this to you to watch with all your faculties at optimum level, but keep your expectations low and enjoy it for what it is, because what it is is pretty relaxed silliness.
Howl (2015)
Really enjoyable werewolf siege film
This is a really well done film that focused on what it was instead of falling for the trap of trying to be more than it could. It didn't try and be some terrifying horror film and nor did it spend too much time on the werewolves. For the most part they're left out of sight or kept to a minimum so as to play well to the claustrophobic element of the film. When they are seen, they look very cool and are really well done.
The acting is good, the characters are likable enough and all contribute something towards the experience of being holed up in a tin can, trying not to be munched on by bloody werewolves.
I was well entertained and didn't find myself fiddling with my phone or anything. It wasn't too long and wasn't too short and left on a decent note.
The storyline alone is fun enough to hold your attention for the duration of the film. It does what it says on the can and doesn't leave you feeling like you wasted your time.
I watch a lot of horror ...and a lot of bad horror subsequently and this film doesn't fall into that substandard category. It's not a great film but it's a good film and especially within the werewolf sub-genre, and there are not too many in there.
That's what I think anyway, check it out and see what you think. I recommend it.