Reviews

Ok this film hit all the right buttons for me hence the enthusiastic 10/10. Of course, this film is not perfect, but for me personally, I deeply enjoyed it.

Tldr: if you enjoy alternative history x sci-fi, human/robot dynamics, good old basic detective noir stuff, and aren't expecting a blockbuster, this film is great.

Rambly version: A very intriguing premise, blending of history and sci-fi. Sure it may not make sense to some, but hey it's fiction. Visually, the film is quite polished for a small production, simple but gets the job done.

The pacing was rather fast and the acting for some characters was mid, but the story gripped me enough that the those things didn't bother me as much.

I will admit, the ending kind of came out of nowhere and felt.....way too unexpected. Yes, unexpected is good for a mystery but this was very unpredictable, to the point I felt like it was suddenly made up on spot. (however, if you had read comics, which I only read after watching this, you might have had a better chance at guessing, even if this film is an adaption/combination of all three comics into one)

Also since there's no parental guide, I'll throw this in: robot x human brothel, some questionable noises may be heard, vague verbal innuendos, nothing sexual shown, some fight scenes w/ fists and guns, suicide, fictional hate crime/violence, robot gore, abuse?, and pg13 cussing.

Overall, being a massive sucker for sci-fi, quirky detective duos, robots, and fun takes on the past, this film pushed all the right buttons for me. Maybe not for everyone, but sure is still a great film.

This is the dumbest end time movie I ever seen. Nothing in this is biblical. Just loose references here and there.

Look, I've seen enough bad movies to not be bother by poor production. I'm just literally mind blown how *useless* this film is.

There is nothing of value to get out of this movie. It hyperfixates over the antichrist unnecessarily and has cringe demons and demonic powers that just seem so silly. Besides the antichrist, it's only focused on the US and the random love triangle. The US president becomes the divine good guy?? Where the frick is God lol

This is just a load of western so-called "Christian" garbage. As a believer, i feel insulted that such nonsense was produced.

Didn't even finish the movie, what a waste of time.

I'm too disappointed and disgusted to even write down a coherent review. But seriously, just don't bother watching this. Pointless. Just so pointless.

Ok, dang a lot of bad reviews and a lot of people missing Bay.

But seriously, this movie was FINE. Gah lee.

TLDR: good basic action flick, not particularly stunning script wise (predictable plot, basic dialogue), fun actions scenes, pretty darn good cgi, cool transformer designs, nice sfx.

For the parents and sensitive viewers: no sexual content at all (perhaps one or two silly jokes could be taken sexually), not much cursing (standard s-h-a-d sort of stuff), gore is all robot, tho some sudden car crashes in the beginning with humans

nitpicky section:

YES I also disliked the colored vs. White tensions the movie tried to emphasized. It was so one dimensional and kinda childish honestly. It had literally no affect in rest of the plot so it was honestly kinda just shoved in their for agenda's sake? Look I'm colored and I found those parts forced and stupid. If you are going to put some racial tensions, at least make it realistic and dimensional?? And maybe put more effort to weaving it into the plot more seemlessly?

Also this may be petty, but I found it awfully off putting by the graphic demises of a few cops and that one security guard. It was so sudden and so...unnecessary almost? Did they absolutely have to die?? Like what? They were some of the only humans to die onscreen so it was odd and disproportionate...? They are just doing their job, come on... idk maybe that's just me.

Sure the plot was basic but I honestly wasn't expecting a masterpiece lol. It was pretty lame but the action and cool animation made up for it.

Also maybe this is just me cuz I watched the previous movies a long time ago when I was younger, but gah lee I'm glad Bay didn't direct this one. His human characters and side plots absolutely sucked and I wanted all the humans to die (they were so fricking annoying). But this movie, the characters were alright. They were they own persons, they had their own motivations, and the family theme with Noah was kinda sweet. The girl lead was not sexualized (THANK GOD *glares at Bay*) AND THERE WAS NO ROMANCE AMAZINGLY??? It was refreshing. I'm sick of the useless and/or supposedly bada** gf trope.

ALSO THE ENDING......not the post credit ending BUT THE NORMAL ENDING.....the Easter egg thingy..... look, if you are a big of a fan of a certain other Hasbro franchise,,,, you'll love it (or maybe hate it?). I personally thought it was awesome cuz of the comic reference but hey that's just me.

Anywho overall, this film is not perfect, but it wasn't that bad given most of the crap that's out that. Easy basic fun. Not anything revolutionary but not garbage as well.

Okay this movie was great and I did enjoy it. But I still felt a bit empty afterwards. No, not cuz of the cliffhanger, I was expecting that given this is a trilogy. But cuz...it lacks the charm of the first one.

The first one was fun, jovial, goofy, hectic, and intense. This one is more intense and hectic with some goof on the side.

Also quite dark and complex (like dang... inevitable deaths you can't prevent, that's hefty stuff). I personally don't care but this is definitely not for kids under 10. Heck maybe under 12. It's not cuz it's "mature" but....just intricate. Well done for sure, but not something an average kid would really appreciate or understand in my opinion.

Ok time to be nit-picky. I didn't like the constant color shifts for Gwen's personal scenes because they were so disorienting visually. Yeah sure, trying to be artistic, but that's overkill.

I really didn't like the extended untranslated Spanish in the film. A few phrases here and there is totally fine. I like it when they keep it natural and don't translate. But when you start using longer sentences during intimate moments of the movie, and you don't bother to translate for audience (and we ain't all Spanish speaking), I just felt so....excluded. They could've had some funny funky subtitles to translate. They really could've! Nothing stopped them from translating the snippets of Hindi (or whatever Indian language they used, sorry idk)!!

There are a few side things like blatant political and commercial "product placement" that miffed me, but that's no biggie. Also wasn't a fan of the implications of miles/gwen romance....just stay friends....

Overall a fun crazy movie. But...honestly. The first one is better.

Honestly I thought this movie would be way worse and disgustingly feminist. But it wasn't that bad. Yes boring and stupid, but not really misandrist or political........except for maybe a couple remarks at the end. 🙄

The movie is ok until they get what they need. THEN THEY MAKE A DUMB MOVE HENCE ANOTHER HOUR OF STUPID GOOSE CHASE.

Overall very generic and nothing amazing. Ok time killer, but there's better crap out there to watch. Most of the characters were annoying except for the therapist. She was the only genuine character beside the fact she has a terrible "friend group" 😩

The ending was cringy. And I still really want to slap that blonde bish. She's so ding dang full of herself.

Three good things: 1. Nice fight scenes that aren't just punch-punch-punch. 2. Characters speak many different languages, gives it a realistic feel. 3. Pretty clean when it comes to sexy stuff. So they finally somewhat understand that feminine power doesn't come from sex appeal thank God

Pretty forgettable overall. Is it worth paying money? No. But if you have Amazon prime and some time to kill, go for it.

I'm a joe fan, read the comics, seen the old show, new-ish show etc. So this movie was pretty cringe

(I've actually seen all the live action movies when I was really young so I dont remember much. I've only rewatched this one recently tho so I didn't have much context of the previous movie.)

Ok ok onto the review. If you're fan of the original source, this is rubbish. At least character/casting wise. But it's not terrible. Forget the plot and just enjoy the action scenes. Heck the fight choreography was actually pretty cool. But I cannot get over the rock being Roadblock. Ugh does not work at all. Duke was crappy too and felt like some sort of main character from a Transformer movie (and those movies sucked).

Now for some more specific ramblings/complaints. Snake Eyes is good as always. Storm Shadow was also really neat in this one. Their clan thing tho was so wonky. Where is that black blind dude from?? Who's he?? Also why were they all speaking English? But I did like the thing with the Hard Master (wont say cuz spoilers) since that was pretty comic accurate. Zartan was neat and AHH FINALLY FIREFLY. I enjoyed him a lot since he doesn't get a lot of action in the comics/show. However, he looks and acts a bit more like Zartan (from comics) so that was kinda funky. But still, happy to see Firefly. Cobra Commander was alright, but his voice was so deep and idk. Didn't sound like him. I was initially excited about Lady Jaye since she was underrated character, but they turned her into a 2nd rate Scarlett :\ and gah lee can we pls have a female character that's not trying so hard to be "sexy"? Also why are any of these female fighter characters have makeup and fancy hair?? Hollywood is dumb. But what's new haha. Plot was dumb and there were several holes. Missed opportunities to throw in some other joes too.

Overall, this movie is "ok". Not great, but good time killer. Kind of a waste of time. Then again, what was I expecting? They messed up Transformers so ofc they'd ruin the Joes.

But hey at least this movie is better than the propaganda crap you get nowadays.

I had very low expectations for this movie. I assumed it was another one of those stupid thrillers with obnoxious characters. I was also put off by the "artistic" intro, but besides that...well heck, I was pleasantly surprised!

Ok fine, the plot is a little janky and the antagonist/"who's-bad" thing is pretty confusing. Some action parts were a bit over the top, but it's not as bad as some of the stupid movies these days.

Oh and btw, the movie takes awhile to start so hold your horses until a strange lady appears, kay?

I could go into detail about the movie, but I'll spare you the spoilers and just share my overall thoughts:

the supporting cast was pretty diverse if you ask me. And I'm not talking just racially, but rather personality/archetype wise. And they weren't lame gawking bystanders either ! They actually had personalities that were interesting.

Also! No obvious political agenda! Thank God! If there were any, I didn't see it! Also I liked how the movie didn't demonize the police, but wasn't afraid to touch on corruption within the law. Nicely done in my opinion.

Lots of twists and turns, kept me in the edge and constantly trying to figure out "who" it was.

One annoying thing was that the main character-forgot what his name was already-DOESNT KNOW HOW TO BLOCK DJHFJDHDJ please sir, you're an ex cop, surely you know basic self defense. Stop dumbly taking hits plz ✋ But yeah that's just a petty complaint.

ALSO, besides some language and ofc intense action, it's clean! No stupid unnecessary sexual content. Goes to show you don't need sexy romance to spice up a plot.

The soundtrack was great-I mean I didn't hear much of it in the movie cuz chaos-but just listen to the credits, ay?

Anyway give this movie a shot if you ever stumble upon it. It's a fun simple watch. Maybe not the most memorable but it won't be a waste of time.

I despise MCU, but this is by far my my favorite live-action marvel film!!

First off, it's relatively isolated from other marvel films. Sure that random fire-cracker monk from the doctor strange movies pops up twice, but other than that, no overrated marvel characters tried to steal the show!

Two, the movie does its best to stick to its roots. I especially loved how a lot of the scenes were spoken in Chinese! The movie was able to be ethnically correct (to my knowledge) without coming across as try-hard or woke. It felt...just right. I could also tell there was some influence from Asian fantasy films when it came to the dramatic jumps 😂

Three, the characters were enjoyable and complex! No one was perfect ! Plus the bad guy wasn't 100% evil and you were actually able to sympathize with him a bit! Made the characters feel more real.

I wasn't a big fan of the sister. She kinda gave off modern feminist vibes (also, the fact she "built her own empire" at the age of 16 was a cringy stretch). But it was a minor detail, so I brushed it off.

Four, there was a good mix of strong male and female characters which was so refreshing! This is true gender equality-no need for unequal "empowerment" to make women look good by tearing men down!

Five, the fight scenes with the rings are just so satisfying to watch hdhfjddjv

Anywhoooooo this is definitely worth a watch! You could even watch it without being up to date on the marvel films (like me ahah)

Ok so this movie ain't memorable but it was fun.

Overall plot is kinda interesting. Characters are alright, but pretty flat. Though it's nice to have a decent dad character for once lol (hollywood demonizes dads way to much pfffft)

Some CGI aspects were a bit much but not horrible. The aliens were cool??? I love their design so that's a plus. They give the movie a good shiver down your spine.

There was a little wokeness in film, but it wasn't terribly bad. Just kinda cringy/in-your-face. I'm all for a diverse cast but they just realllyyyyyy wanted to rub it in your face, like "yo look how inclusive we are!!" Bruh, we get it. We're not 4 year olds lol

Sexual content and language wise, this was pretty clean! Quite refreshing! No mumbo jumbo thrown in for no reason.

I've seen the movie twice (not on purpose) and that's enough. Just another decent sci-fi thriller.