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Captain Tsubasa (1983–1995)
5/10
Doesn't deserve a nostalgic 10/10
10 September 2024
Warning: Spoilers
A remarkable series that aged terribly bad. You have to watch it again to know what I'm talking about.

Sorry for the upcoming bible.

First of all, the Japanese values of that era are aberrant. We have catchphrases like "I'll take my revenge!" after receiving a goal. It's a football match, you manly ass poor hood bully, revenge on what?!

Then absolutely noone gives up, you have both legs tired and fragile, losing the ball every time you touch it and it's your fourth fainting in barely 40 minutes for the huge amount of pain you're dealing with, but hey, keep playing. Noone will call you a coward but for sure you'll get called obsessed mad man for ending in a wheelchair. They risk their lives for just not being substituted in a stupid match, they literally think that's ridiculous coward and offensive for their inflated egos, wonderful. Then there's like a juvenile wordcup at some point and a French player gets to guide them to know their rivals and stuff. Happy guy voluntarily helping them with pleasure and joy but Japanese team hate him because smiling in public is weakness and exhibitionism. The one they respect is the living steamroller which way of playing is to sweep and injure every possible player, "so strong, what a worthy rival!" they think.

Matches are quite surrealist. The referee is just an adornment or acts just to screw over the protagonists. Human steamroller mentioned, they never call a foul on him; who cares, free will to break some bones. Whenever the referee uses the whistle, you can see him running from the other side of the field, or they have eagle sight or they are just pretending to work; they are often seen looking at their watch, getting to call the end of the match with the ball at two centimeters of the goal and nullifying the shot (hahaha!). The matches are monothematic aswell, based on the hability of one or two players in the other team, even the rivals knowing how to team play is a huge obstacle for our ball hogging captain.

So this is a series that promotes teamwork and fair play but the only one who scores it's Tsubasa, barely the 5% of the goals are from other players; if you see someone trying to score, you know he won't make it. Besides he plays a goalkeeper, defender and midfielder too, working every single play on his own. The rest of the team begin to play when the captain is about to die of tiredness, "Let's do it for our captain!". Talking about the team, there's barely any screen time for them, barely five minutes or less for each one, not getting to know them at all, except a couple secondary characters like the funny kid. The most common move is to slide by the grass to recover the ball with all their fury gathered in their feet armed with spiky boots, (i wonder how they don't end up with a crutch), and some other dangerous stuff to break yourself something, perfect example to follow.

Gotta talk about physics too as this is supposed to be a more realistic anime in comparison with others of the decade. Teleporting exists in this sport; the goalkeeper is like 20 meters away from the ball flying to the goal, "well, that's a score" you'll think, wrong! From some spacial wormhole a player appears between the goal and the ball and saves the day! And this happens like a dozen times, maybe more (lost the count). The field is just vast, it even has horizon, players run around 18 kilometers per play, such aces! And let's not forget about space and time control, a player kicks the ball and it can change direction twice in mid air, go slowmo or break every high speed record known to man; also players can jump to the height of a fourth flat with just a little push, they obviously crash violently against the floor right after, if they don't die it's because they're the protagonists.

And last, some ideology from the 80s leaves some phrases like "you're crazy, women can't play football!" (which as kid this already sounded wrong to me) or being roasted for helping another player, "such a sweet damsel you are!", words from a trainer.

Don't know if I'll be the only one, but i remembered this series better. It's true that it made a lot of kids wanting to play football and has some strong messages about effort and friendship, also mutual respect for each crowd of fans, but that last didn't got too deep in people (lol) So i rate it 5/10 because there are tons of filler, artillery drop flashbacks and even the repetition of the last three or even four minutes of the past episode. Matches aren't specially exciting when you're seeing the logical thing to do is to substitute the hurt players. And also is not the best idea to make like 20 episodes for the same match repeating every monologue of the whole anime to that point.
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4/10
Pffft ending
15 July 2022
Warning: Spoilers
So a retired cop investigates the murder of his daughter and cries all over it the whole film and when he has the killers, he lets them go. Ohhhhh my god, that was nonsense, just paint a masterpiece in the snow with their brains, whats the point in letting them free!? At least shoot them in the legs and make sure they wont survive the blizzard.

Awful ending that solves nothing, fantastic job, mr. Dad cop, now more people will die but you wont care because victims wont be your daughter, have a medal.

Felt like a waste of time, sorry if i look like a psycho but bad guys HAVE to die in movies spectacularly like in the 90s, that was a very boring conclusion.
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6/10
Well, not as interesting as it should be
17 June 2022
Warning: Spoilers
We finally get to see new porters but feels rushed, they're just chosen for convenience and didnt feel special like when Luca, Nino, or Rose got chosen. Dunno.

Once again, Chloe being a complete as#@*&% over something she has to do like it or not. Never seen a character so much deserving of a multi asskicking beat up.
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10/10
When the simplest thing gets out of hand
17 June 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Its hard to dont feel identified with Quilin. When everything gets against you and gov workers dont care.

Ladybug vs akuma vs the police department Worth the watch!

Geez, that bus inspector has some mental problem.
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8/10
Extreme right voter strikes back
17 June 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Marinette, keep making your duties someone else's problems, sure noone will get the akuma treatment.

It's really one of the episodes i laughed with the most, being simple as a power causing chaos all over the place was sure entertaining.
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Norbit (2007)
3/10
Unpunished antagonists
12 June 2022
Warning: Spoilers
If there's something horribly written in this movie, is that ending: forgettable, insufficient, unsatisfactory and boring.

That family terrifies the whole town like its theirs like absolute childish bullies and cruelly treat Norbit cruelly like trash, even punish him for defending himself.

Man, if i was the director, I'd written something a lot more remarkable for these mf's, a lot bloodier and painful.

Movie is not great overall, some funny jokes still, but that lame ending just put me in a bad mood after seeing the protagonist suffering for the whole thing.
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6/10
Rip Rocky the Raccoon
2 June 2022
I'm a furry raccoon too and i kinda felt bad for him. He really liked raccoons, with all the photos and plushies filling his house, that's obsession and not typically furry behaviour lol.

Grissom, we aren't looking for our animal wild side, we just enjoy anthropomorphic animals from cartoons or the ones we create.

It's a funny episode after all, mostly for how they think the community is (oh my god these cheapy costumes).
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We Baby Bears (2022– )
1/10
Geez
2 June 2022
Looks like they took every cliche in the anime universe and melted all together along the baby bears, result = absolute cringe.

Watched two episodes and a half, couldn't stand any further, i wanted to watch something else after the first 20 seconds.

Wonder what made them do this to the bears, they just could've kept going with the original.

Is this the kind of stuff we'll get from now on thanks to everything being offensive for someone? Please 90s, be back on tv.
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The Raccoons: The Sky's the Limit! (1989)
Season 4, Episode 2
10/10
A dummy in love
2 June 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Man, seeing Ralph risking his life stupidly for being jealous is sure one of the greatest moments of this show. I was scared as shit the first time i watched it.

Gotta admit we always feel worse than we actually are at some point because of someone being waaaay better, i felt bad for Ralph for being in that situation. He really loves Melissa <3.
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