tiefling23
Joined Jan 2002
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Reviews3
tiefling23's rating
...yum. Unfortunately, I've just enumerated all the reasons for seeing this movie.
I went into this movie hoping to see a decent action/horror flick, light on plot, and was surprised to find that the movie didn't live up to even those meager expectations. Van Helsing never seems to be in mortal danger at any point in the movie, which left me with a "Who cares?" attitude throughout. The arch-villain, Dracula, is something of a wimp, who spends most of his time letting his wives do his dirty-work while he sits around various castles and walks on the ceiling.
Besides seeing the breathtaking Kate Beckinsale in a swashbuckling outfit, the only other bright spot to the film was the performance of David Wenham as Friar Carl. Wenham shows his acting abilities as he goes from the proud but troubled Faramir in Lord of the Rings to the stooped, studious, witty and faithful sidekick in Van Helsing.
If you want an action/horror flick, in which you can drool over Kate Beckinsale, go see Underworld. If you want a loud action movie with gadgets, gizmos, supernatural powers, and great special effects, go watch or re-watch the X-Men movies. But if you want a ludicrous movie where you find yourself bored silly, laughing at the script, plot, and fight scenes, and checking your watch while you wonder how you could have been so stupid to have wasted $8, then catch Van Helsing in theaters today!
I went into this movie hoping to see a decent action/horror flick, light on plot, and was surprised to find that the movie didn't live up to even those meager expectations. Van Helsing never seems to be in mortal danger at any point in the movie, which left me with a "Who cares?" attitude throughout. The arch-villain, Dracula, is something of a wimp, who spends most of his time letting his wives do his dirty-work while he sits around various castles and walks on the ceiling.
Besides seeing the breathtaking Kate Beckinsale in a swashbuckling outfit, the only other bright spot to the film was the performance of David Wenham as Friar Carl. Wenham shows his acting abilities as he goes from the proud but troubled Faramir in Lord of the Rings to the stooped, studious, witty and faithful sidekick in Van Helsing.
If you want an action/horror flick, in which you can drool over Kate Beckinsale, go see Underworld. If you want a loud action movie with gadgets, gizmos, supernatural powers, and great special effects, go watch or re-watch the X-Men movies. But if you want a ludicrous movie where you find yourself bored silly, laughing at the script, plot, and fight scenes, and checking your watch while you wonder how you could have been so stupid to have wasted $8, then catch Van Helsing in theaters today!
This was a lousy, boring movie. My first thought when the movie ended was, "At least it was only 90 minutes long." I've been trying my hardest to classify this movie, but nothing seems appropriate. There was no action to justify calling it an action flick. The horrible acting, 2D characters, and empty plot defy the term drama. The occasional laugh the movie inspired did not in any way make it a comedy. The only classification I have for it is "fiction." It is a waste of whatever money you spend to see it.
On the bright side, Vin Diesel plays an excellent tough-guy in this movie, and John Malkovich is great like always. It's a shame the movie could not have been written around these two actors, because the rest of the cast is pathetic. The lead actor, Barry Pepper, tried his hardest to be Johnny Depp, and his forced acting made me cringe.
Go see anything else. Some movies make you laugh because of how bad they are; this is not one of them. A dismal failure.
On the bright side, Vin Diesel plays an excellent tough-guy in this movie, and John Malkovich is great like always. It's a shame the movie could not have been written around these two actors, because the rest of the cast is pathetic. The lead actor, Barry Pepper, tried his hardest to be Johnny Depp, and his forced acting made me cringe.
Go see anything else. Some movies make you laugh because of how bad they are; this is not one of them. A dismal failure.