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Mulan (2020)
returnal
Dishonor on you Disney. The original was very well made, had a wonderful lesson, and was an instant classic. The remake is none of these things and lacks much potential. There is no Shang, there is no struggle for Mulan, she is just a Mary Sue, because character development is not real. Call up your physicist friend the next time they tell you there's not a zero dimensional shape in real life, because this is the dot of character writing. Special effects are overdone and cuts are required 10 times a second. Some of these scenes were filmed in compliance to China's modern day holocaust, which the main character is in support of. Any quality improvements wiped out by CCP bootlicking. Only 2/10 because it's not as bad as it's everyday bro.
Sam Smith & Kim Petras: Unholy (2022)
What the hell is this.
You know what they say, you don't have to be good to be the first. Being the first non binary people to be on the billboards for top hits, you'd think they would've used the last hundred thousand years of music to base their composition on, but for some reason they decided to try and invent it from scratch. Those Aztek whistles that sound like a man dying in agony have more of a musical basis to this. It sounds like Sam, while transporting all the pots and pans in his house, slammed his car into a tree while going 100 on the interstate. Then, after the jaws of life had saved them, they decided "wow, this is a great beat!" And yet, by some marvel of the imagination, people enjoy it. God help them.
Son of the Mask (2005)
bad, bad, bad
Son of Mask is a very bad movie. The idea so confusing , so contrived , makes no sense , must've been on narcotics. Loki and Odin are canon to mask universe without being in previous one , how that work? Jamie Kennedy very bad and unfunny , felt like Jim Carrey but stole his life essence. CGI is terrible , effects are combination of plastic and nightmares concocted by devil. Movie is bizarrely boring for how bad it is. Somehow , nothing interesting happens for next hour and thirty minutes. Is that long? Not sure , but felt like 2 hours. Ending emotional and cheesy , make no sense with story and context. Loki gives up , simply gives up objective. Movie in total a failure , I give it 1.
RRR (Rise Roar Revolt) (2022)
incredible
I have never seen a man fight off an entire protest of a thousand people by beating them with a stick. The insane shenanigans the people can pull off for no reason except they can is utterly deranged, and if you do not enjoy them, you lost your soul a long time ago. The main characters come up with a complicated plan to save a child involving rope, a motorcycle, a horse, and the flag of India by looking at each other once and nodding. The special effects are so incredibly well done, and the corny parts are done corny on purpose. The music singles were great, and the somewhat shallow exploration of the cultural differences between the invading English and the native Indians is cool. Why does the queen have a whip with spikes? Nobody knows! That's RRR for ya. Watch it, then watch it again.
Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023)
Budget well spent
Went in thinking would be failure. Was surprised! Movie surprising and successful. Have cleaver plot taking advantage of the medium. Characters are fun and sympathetic. Movie have emotional message , not forced like other hollywood garbage. Very funny , unlike newest thor movie. One issue is why they ever ban high sun games? You already make big arena , it too late to go back. Villain surprising, man very annoying but that the point I suppose. Much effort into lore of D+D, good plot elements. Fat dragon real thing , not made up for movie. Fed by elves , become round. Overall, very good film, I give it 8.
The Birth of a Nation (1915)
I'm done, that's it, no more
This movie is racist: that much is obvious. However, what makes it exponentially worse is that not a single thing in this movie is right. Rather, it is pretty much the exact opposite of what happened, with the evil and stupid black people ruining and tainting the pure whiteness of our country. The lost cause myth already deserves to be laughed at, but such an extremity of incorrectness makes it God awful. The simple fact that this was the advancement of film technology, and MILLIONS OF PEOPLE SAW IT IN THEATRE, and they came out with their entire families, turned to their children, and said "That was a wonderful movie" makes me very ashamed in the collective human psyche. The idea that some people still think this movie is "A representation of the times" is a continuing breach in it. I give it zero out of ten, and no great loss would be experienced if every copy of this film was destroyed tomorrow.
Now You See Me (2013)
It movied my movie going experience for movies
This movie have twist and turn. Many kind of magic used , but never explain. Hypnotized with one look. It seem like actors always have a box of suffs they have access. Twist written poorly , why not just tell you are 5th horse? Some of shenanigans simply impossible. During change montage , man's shoe's change color. You expect me to believe? Nonsense! However , good visual and very well seen scenes and quality performance. I would say movie could be better , but am not film executive. Recently watched movie with family and 5 year old enjoyed. Movie made profit , so maybe that determine success. Who know?
Interstellar (2014)
has held the test of time.
Calling this movie a masterclass is an understatement, this is the best sci-fi film ever produced. The science is almost always on point while still being entertaining to a general audience. The characters are all likable or at least understandable. The visual effects are stunning, and the plot has a very high level of impact, not to mention the soundtrack. There is no antagonist, and in this way this film is the most realistic, for the only thing that most people battle in their lives are the harsh natures of reality rather than a superimposed bad guy. The ending is incredibly emotional and, to me, was quite unexpected. Do not let the run time disturb you, for it only gets more well made and more emotionally captivating as it progresses. To put this into reference, I have a friend who never likes anything, but even he had to admit after a viewing that it was one of the only good movies he'd ever seen. 10/10.
Zoolander 2 (2016)
It had cinematography
The movie was produced. It had actors in it, who played roles that were in the film. It was edited by a team who pieced the audio and the picture together. The marketing team existed and said things in favor of it. It cost a certain amount to produce and make back a different amount of money. It was screened at theaters who showed the full length of the movie to anyone who would buy tickets. This all occurred because the executives were given the idea and then green-lit it to be produced. All in all, what we can say without a doubt is that Zoolander 2 is, and always will be, a film that exists.
Jake Paul: It's Everyday Bro Feat. Team 10 (2017)
it has gotten exponentially worse
This is one of the worst pieces of media to ever be created, and the fact that at least ten thousand dollars went into making this thing that could be replicated by me pulling down my pants and taking a dump, which would be a great allegory for the success of Jake Paul's career. I only can hope that this is the worst thing ever made, and nobody figures how to transcend it's supreme level of badness. The lyrics are poorly written "yeah I smell good" this must be a lie, because Tessa Brook's personality is a dumpster fire. I am so happy none of these people will ever seen real happiness, as whatever they had going for them before has been annihilated by them getting within 10 feet of Jake Paul. I wish I could forget that this song, and moreover these people ever existed, which they probably do not, because they wouldn't pass a turning test. The Spanish section is the worst, because they use third grade language and make at least one grammatical error. The last time I checked his channel, he had a video marked for kids with a strip tease in it. I wish nothing but misfortune upon them and hope we do not suffer them any longer. Good day.