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In the Mouth of Madness (1994)
Recipe for mediocre horror film: Take one part Lovecraft...
...and mix with one part Ursula K. LeGuin. I viewed "IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS" this afternoon because we had a rainstorm and I couldn't get outdoors to do anything productive. Shortly after the beginning of the film, I realized I was watching a story crudely cobbled together from elements of H. P. Lovecraft's "The Cthulu Mythos" and Ursula K. LeGuin's "The Lathe Of Heaven". Needless to say, I was very disappointed in this blatant example of plagiarism from John Carpenter, whose past work has generally been very enjoyable. The title is even a direct steal from Lovecraft's "At The Mountains Of Madness". Mr. Carpenter, shame on you. You didn't even have the courtesy to credit the two real authors of your film.
Gawain and the Green Knight (1973)
Bored and listless, I sat through it.
A bored and listless viewer sat through a boring and listless movie today. As others before me have said, I waited in vain for the Monty Python troupe to come charging out of the bushes and breathe a little life into the proceedings. GAWAIN AND THE GREEN KNIGHT is, I suppose, an honest attempt to portray the legendary exploits of a Knight of the Round Table, however it fails to generate any excitement or even any interest in the characters. Badly acted and unconvincing combat scenes, dreary scenery and a vastly overblown musical score become tedious rather quickly. Overall, this is a real yawner by any standard one cares to apply.
The Great American Pastime (1956)
Mild, pleasant comedy from the 1950's
THE GREAT AMERICAN PASTIME is a mild, pleasant comedy from 1956. Tom Ewell portrays a lawyer in small-town America who reluctantly lets himself get maneuvered into becoming the coach of a little league baseball team. His wife is portrayed by lovely Anne Francis, and the equally beautiful Ann Miller (in an atypical non-dancing role) plays a single mom whose son is on Ewell's team. Complications arise when Ewell begins to believe that Miller is making romantic overtures toward him in an effort to win him away from his wife. There are also various influential townsfolk who attempt to apply social and political pressure in the interest of making their sons the stars of the team. Raymond Bailey (familiar as banker Milburn Drysdale in "The Beverly Hillbillies" TV series) and Dean Jones (who appeared in numerous Disney films) are in supporting roles. Overall, it is a well paced, enjoyable film with a simple plot and gentle humor spread evenly through its running time. Viewing may prove a refreshing relief from the comedies being produced in the present day.
On the Loose (1951)
Might have been the inspiration for "Rebel Without A Cause"!
ON THE LOOSE is a relatively unknown but watchable film dealing with the alienated youth/juvenile delinquency theme that was popular in the 1950's. It predates the blockbuster "Rebel Without A Cause" by four years, and could have been a great influence on it. The main themes of the two films are very similar, but in the case of "On The Loose", the story is told from a female point of view. The film is well-paced, well-acted, and it held my interest throughout its brief 78 minute running time. The young star Joan Evans is gorgeous, looking very similar to Anne Francis and with an acting style similar to Lauren Bacall. It is unfortunate that her career as an actress remained so obscure. Parents played by Melvyn Douglas and Lynn Bari are typically (and convincingly) self-absorbed and detached from their daughter. A youthful Hugh O'Brian has a small part as an emergency room doctor. Overall, an enjoyable film that deserves more frequent showings.
La guerra dei robot (1978)
An embarrassing waste of film
WAR OF THE ROBOTS is a total waste of film, not to mention the viewers time. Made in 1978, this Italian space "epic" looks like it might have been produced 30 years earlier. Everything about this film is terrible, including an incoherent script, bad acting, horribly done special effects (the Flash Gordon serials from the 1930's were better, at least they were in focus most of the time), extremely bad sound effects and dialogue dubbing. If one took all the worst blunders found in the bad Italian and Japanese sci-fi flicks of the 1950's and 1960's and condensed them into one film, WAR OF THE ROBOTS would be the result. Utter trash, avoid at all costs.
Kronos (1957)
A low-budget classic from the golden age of sci-fi
OK...OK, so the science is wacky (a shower of omega particles???) and the photographic effects look pretty bad when compared to the CGI of today. No matter. I enjoyed it when I first saw it in 1957 on the big screen, and I still enjoy it today on DVD. KRONOS has a unique appeal compared to its contemporaries. One must remember that in the mid-1950s most science fiction films (especially low budget ones) featured a guy running through the bushes in a rubber monster suit. KRONOS gave us a giant, mighty electromechanical robot with a mission, that got right down to business. The script is deadly serious and the actors play it straight. A minor point: I found it interestingly quirky that an obviously sexless machine was referred to as "he" throughout the film. With a bigger budget and some fine-tuning in the science department, this film could have proved to be stiff competition for THIS ISLAND EARTH or FORBIDDEN PLANET. It has all the ingredients of a true classic from that era, the only thing that holds it back is the execution. Thankfully it has been released in its original widescreen format on DVD. It is a must-own film for '50s sci-fi fans.
Hot Rods to Hell (1966)
A laughable embarrassment
HOT RODS TO HELL should be in the running for the worst film ever made. It is a true embarrassment for formerly decent actors Dana Andrews and Jeanne Crain, and surely signified the "last gasps" of their careers as credible performers. The entire cast delivers performances so wooden that they resemble Howdy Doody or Al Gore. As others have said, Jack Webb would be proud. The preachy script resembles an elongated episode of "Dragnet". It's too bad that there is no "Bad Actors Prison" to put these people in. There are so many terribly done scenes that it is impossible to describe them within the 2000 word limit of this posting. Suffice it to say that unless you appreciate truly bad films, or enjoy watching actors make fools of themselves, don't waste your time on this incredible train wreck.
One, Two, Three (1961)
Dated but still loads of fun
ONE, TWO, THREE is now historically dated but it is still a barrel of laughs. Almost every subject lampooned here no longer exists (I believe that the only icon to survive the passage of time is Coca-Cola!), but those familiar with the Cold War era will find that it remains entertaining in the present day. James Cagney delivers a powerhouse performance as Coca-Cola's "man in Berlin", C.R. MacNamara. It is a marvel to watch him in action, rattling off dialog at a machine-gun pace. Horst Bucholz is great as the scruffy East German intellectual "beatnik" Otto Ludwig Piffl, who is determined to beat the Capitalist system but ends up succumbing to it. Pamela Tiffin has never been better as the air-headed but beautiful Scarlett Hazeltine. Add a great supporting cast (Standouts: Hanns Lotharr as Schlemmer, the long-suffering office assistant with a dubious past history as a German soldier, Lilo Pulver as secretary Fraulein Ingeborg (mit der umlaut!), and Leon Askin as Comrade Peripetchikoff, overweight representative of the People's Soft Drink Secretariat.).
I did spot one possible error during a recent viewing. When Scarlett and Otto display their steel wedding rings ("Forged from the brave steel of a cannon that fought at Stalingrad!") to MacNamara, they are both wearing the rings on their right hands. I'm not sure if this is an actual error or a hidden swipe at the inability of the East Berliners to do anything correctly. Either way, it doesn't detract from a great film that has stood the test of time and is as lively and entertaining today as it was 42 years ago. Bravo!
Ekkusu (1996)
A confused, muddled mess
I usually enjoy anime, but could make no sense out of this confused, muddled mess of a film. Things explode, characters are hacked to pieces, blood flies everywhere, buildings collapse, the scenario switches from reality to a dream state and back again with no clear delineation. The English dubbing is terrible to the point of distraction, with many "huh?" exclamations eminating from the characters, interspersed with a lot of yelling and grunting. I was strongly tempted to switch it off after the first 15 minutes, but hung on until the end in the hope that it would get better. My mistake. By the time the end credits rolled, I was numb to the whole thing and did not have any idea what I had just watched. "X" is a terrible film, and a gross waste of time.
The She-Creature (1956)
Dull as watching paint dry
It's amazing that audiences of 1956 didn't riot after being charged admission to watch this excruciating exercise. I have never seen Andy Warhol's "Empire" (1964), but I have read that Warhol placed a stationary camera aimed at the Empire State Building and shot eight hours of film. I cannot imagine what Warhol was trying to accomplish, but viewing "Empire" must be a similar experience to sitting through "The She Creature". I made the mistake of starting to watch rather late one night, and found that my eyelids were drooping so badly that I had to stop the tape halfway through and continue the next day. Boring and dull, with leaden performances from cast members whose careers were all in severe decline. It is a sad thing to see previously successful and talented performers end up like this. As others before me have said, this is the absolute pits, to be used as a sleep aid only.
Journey to the Seventh Planet (1962)
Intriguing premise, wretched execution
***MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS***
JOURNEY TO THE SEVENTH PLANET has a surprisingly good idea at its core, a plot device not often used in science fiction films of its era. The premise deals with the theft and use of the individual thoughts of human beings by an outside force to create (in this case) convincing illusions of reality. Although not original to this film (a similar premise was used previously in the immortal classic FORBIDDEN PLANET (1956)), the idea is unique enough to allow the film makers a vast array of possibilities. The same concept was later used as the basis for the Russian-made SOLYARIS (1972) and the remake SOLARIS (2002).
Unfortunately, a good idea does not guarantee a good film. JOURNEY TO THE SEVENTH PLANET is excruciatingly executed from start to finish. It obviously had an extremely limited budget, being filmed in Denmark. Many of the actors are "local talent", trying in vain to be convincing as an "international" crew. All dialogue is atrociously dubbed (some of the English versions of Godzilla films are done more convincingly), and the acting is terribly wooden. The pompous, bombastic "voice" of the alien is heartily laughable. The spaceship interior set is not convincing, it is incredibly spacious, and instrumentation consists of a bank of oscilloscopes and a couple of rows of identical gauges. Shots of the takeoff from Earth use stock footage of an actual missile launch, and the landing on Uranus uses the same footage running in reverse, so that the rocket exhaust is seen going back into the engine!
The "special effects", particularly the stop-motion scenes, are some of the worst ever put on the screen. After an encounter with a wobbling, cyclopean, obviously reptilian "dinosaur", one of the crew identifies it as a member of the rodent family! When the crew fire their guns at it, the energy beams are not animated, but scratched directly into the film emulsion (you can't get any cheaper than that!). The effects used for the alien "brain" make it appear to be an immobile pile of foam rubber with a car headlight used for its single eye.
Unless you're in the mood for a couple of good laughs, pass this one by. I was tempted to begin throwing things at the screen long before the end credits started to roll.
Streets of Fire (1984)
Hear the thunder!
Ahhh...STREETS OF FIRE...a perfect straight-ahead, wide-open-throttle ride into a beautifully realized fantasy world. Brilliant production design with all scenes shot on backlot sets or soundstages. Great mixture of "heart of rock and roll" periods from the 1950's through the 1980's, done flawlessly. Casting, perfect. Acting, perfect. And the music! Turn up the volume and hear the thunder! Jaw-dropping opening and closing "epic" concert songs from Jim Steinman and Fire, Inc. will carry you away. Great tunes too from Ry Cooder and The Blasters. No one who appreciates purely great rock should miss this film. Highest recommendation.
Trail Street (1947)
Might have been the inspiration for RIO BRAVO
***MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS***
TRAIL STREET is an average western that distinguishes itself by possibly being the inspiration for the highly praised Howard Hawks-John Wayne extravaganza RIO BRAVO (1959). There are many close plot similarities between the two films, and several characters are nearly identical as well. A greedy land grabbing villain is running all the farmers off their homesteads so that he can build a cattle empire in Kansas. Randolph Scott plays the heavily outnumbered marshal Bat Masterson, trying to hold the leader of a "regulator" gang in jail for trial. Helping him is shotgun-wielding deputy Gabby Hayes. Substitute John Wayne for Scott, Walter Brennan for Hayes, add a teenage idol (Ricky Nelson), some color film, and you've got RIO BRAVO.
TRAIL STREET is also notable for the casting of Robert Ryan in an against type good guy role. Overall, TRAIL STREET is worth a look for fans of the western genre, but others will probably lose interest.
For Those Who Think Young (1964)
Extended, derivative commercial for Pepsi-Cola
Unfortunately, I can't think of many good things to say about the film.
FOR THOSE WHO THINK YOUNG functions basically as a long, long commercial for Pepsi-Cola. Even the title of the film is the direct quote of a catch phrase used in Pepsi radio and TV commercials of the early 1960s. There are blatant product placements throughout the film, notably a huge Pepsi dispensing machine placed directly in the center of several shots of a night club bar.
The story line is a rip-off of the BEACH PARTY genre, with James Darren doing his best Frankie Avalon imitation, even down to look alike hair style and obviously phony suntan. Poor Pamela Tiffin looks terribly uncomfortable trying to fill the shoes (and swimsuit) of Annette Funicello. To bridge the gap between shots of Pepsi logos, there are the typical "crazed youth" beach activities (tribal-style ritual dances, a bunch of actors grabbing surfboards at the call "Surf's Up!", then paddling out into a perfectly flat ocean, followed by stock footage of real surfers riding huge waves).
There are also several long sequences of comedian Woody Woodbury doing his night club act. The humor in these segments is extremely dated, and falls flat, only serving to bring the story to a grinding halt while on screen. Tina Louise adds some visual spice as an exotic dancer, but Paul Lynde is wasted in the role of a wisecracking musician. Bob Denver plays his typical off-center Gilligan/Maynard G. Krebs character (seemingly the only thing he is capable of).
Darren and Tiffin were also featured together in a companion piece called THE LIVELY SET, a similar but more interesting film with a racing car theme. This film also served to plug Pepsi-Cola, and the cast even featured Joanie Sommers (the manufactured singer who hit the charts with "Johnny Get Angry"), and who provided (coincidentally, no doubt) the singing voice for Pepsi commercials in real life.
Overall, FOR THOSE WHO THINK YOUNG is an curio from a bygone age, contrived and derivative. Any similarity to real life in the pre-flower power, pre-Vietnam era is purely coincidental.
A Girl in Every Port (1952)
Underwhelming in every sense
The racehorse in A GIRL IN EVERY PORT isn't the only thing that's lame. The plot, scripting, pacing and every other facet of this film follow suit. Even the title is misleading, as the ship never sails anywhere, and the only girl involved to any great extent is a stunningly moronic Marie Wilson. This film proves that labored, unfunny "comedies" were being produced long before the current spate of mindless garbage began spewing from our television and movie screens. The characters in this film all appear to have IQ's somewhere in the single digit range. It is indeed sad to see so many talented actors tangled up in this unfortunate yawner. Avoid this film at every opportunity.
Billy Jack (1971)
Sorry, but it's an exercise in pretentious futility
BILLY JACK is one of those unfortunate films from the "counterculture" era which preaches its message so strongly that it becomes a self-parody. It is a poorly acted, one-dimensional film that might have made an interesting half hour quasi-documentary on Native American culture if all the unnecessary, pretentious improvisational "comedy" (term used very loosely), singing by untalented and overzealous performers, and leftist propaganda were removed. As it stands, it is a boring, self conscious exercise in futility. It might have had some relevance to youthful audiences in the early 1970's, but it's just a waste of time in the present day.
The Town That Dreaded Sundown (1976)
Unconvincing drive-in fare
THE TOWN THAT DREADED SUNDOWN was released at the time when the majority of drive-in theaters in the United States were suffering their death throes. This film quite possibly hastened their demise. It was obviously filmed quickly and on a low budget. The credibility of the story, set in 1946 and purportedly based on real events, was hurt by lack of attention to period detail. The most blatant of these scenes occurred during the high school prom sequence. Costumes and hair styles shown were straight out of the mid-1970s, and similar errors were sprinkled throughout the balance of the film. The film makers also introduced several unsubtle and unfitting attempts at humor periodically, and these tended to break the flow of the story line rather than relieve tension as intended. The most horrifying event in the entire film took place during one of these "humorous" scenes, when a vintage police car was driven into a swamp by an incompetent deputy and subsequently sank. The purposeless destruction of an antique car was much more disgusting than any of the badly acted and unconvincing murder scenes portrayed. Overall, a disappointing film that could have been vastly improved by the application of a little craftsmanship.
Se7en (1995)
Nauseating trash
If the viewer enjoys reading bizarre, sensationalistic stories in The National Enquirer and watching surgical procedures on cable TV, this film might be of interest. It is not recommended for after dinner viewing unless one happens to suffer from bulimia. The fact that it has received such high viewer ratings speaks volumes about the state of society in the present day. The only redeeming feature is the performance delivered by Morgan Freeman as the veteran detective. Otherwise, it is a stomach churning gore fest in the deviant style so pervasive today. The events portrayed herein seem intended only to appeal to the very worst aspects of indecent human behavior. With films such as this setting the example, it is no surprise that our social structure is deteriorating so rapidly.
A Christmas Story (1983)
A great nostalgic Christmas film
I cannot add more to the superlatives already posted here for A CHRISTMAS STORY. The film captures perfectly the ambiance of life in the simpler era that existed just prior to American involvement in World War Two. The exact year of the story is never stated, but I believe that it must have been set in either 1939 or 1940. There are numerous depictions of characters from THE WIZARD OF OZ and SNOW WHITE during the parade and department store sequences, and both these films had just been released during that time frame.
I was fortunate to have grown up during the 1950s, and to have experienced the tail end of this era during my childhood. With each viewing of A CHRISTMAS STORY, all the warm memories of that time come rushing back. I feel sorry for those detractors who can find no value here, and cannot identify with the simpler, more cohesive lifestyle that existed long before the era of television and video games. How sad and empty your lives must be.
It's a Wonderful Life (1946)
Surely a Christmas classic, with one minor complaint
I have viewed IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE countless times over the years, and it is a true American Christmas classic. I cannot add further to the praise this film deserves and has received. At the risk of sounding Scrooge-like, I do have one complaint (and it is a minor one). I realize that Karolyn Grimes was only six years old at the time, but she delivers one of the most irritating performances I have ever seen from a child actor. Every line of dialog she delivers (with a machine-like monotony, at the top of her lungs) grates like a rasp over my nervous system. They could have used a robot to essay the role of "Zuzu" with better results. Thankfully, she is only on screen for a relatively short period of time. I still enjoy repeated viewings, but must lower the sound level whenever the young Ms. Grimes prepares to speak. Aside from that, a rewarding and excellent film.
Racing Fever (1964)
Soggy, waterlogged boat racing flick
RACING FEVER is a truly amateurish film dealing with the activities of boat racers in the Miami, Florida area. It might be of interest to those who lived there at the time (for "time capsule" value only), but others will find it incompetent on all levels, to the point of being unwatchable. I viewed the film at a Miami area drive in theater on its original theatrical release, and have not seen or heard of it since. I doubt seriously that it received distribution outside the South Florida area. My only interest in the film was that I knew several of the real racers whose boats appeared in this otherwise forgettable mass of seaweed. A prime candidate for the IMDb Bottom 100 list. Only a few more votes are needed to put it there. It certainly deserves recognition as being at least as bad as MANOS, THE HANDS OF FATE.
The Green Helmet (1961)
An entertaining film for auto racing fans
THE GREEN HELMET is an entertaining film for auto racing devotees, but might not be of more than passing interest to anyone else. I viewed the film when it was released in the United States in 1961, and found it engrossing. Unfortunately, it is rarely shown on television and is not available (as far as I know) on video media. I have not seen it since its original theatrical run. The story involves the testing of newly designed racing tires, and includes the obligatory romantic subplot between the driver hired to do the testing and the daughter of the tire manufacturer. The most notable feature of the film is the pioneering use of cameras mounted on the front of the test vehicle, that give an unobstructed view of what a racing driver actually sees and hears when operating a racing car at extremely high speeds. This photographic technique was used to great effect in the much more famous film GRAND PRIX, released five years later. This feature makes the film a must-see (if one can find it) for anyone interested in the sport of auto racing.
As Young as You Feel (1951)
Slightly amusing, but mostly just tedious
AS YOUNG AS YOU FEEL tries hard to be entertaining, and succeeds to a limited degree. The basic story is a social commentary on the errant ways of big business, and it remains somewhat relevant 51 years after the films release. It is classified as a comedy, but if the viewer is looking for belly laughs, there are none here. The main plot point (forced retirement of workers at age 65 by corporate policy) is belabored to the point of exhaustion. The film is dominated by Monty Wooley (he is in almost every scene), and if one is not particularly enamored of his acting style, the film quickly grows tedious. A notable highlight is the presence of a young Marilyn Monroe in the role of a secretary. The sexist treatment she receives from her boss, and her reactions to it, are the outstanding moments in the film, even though they have nothing much to do with the main story line.
In summary, this is a dry, bland film that will tend to bore audiences of the present day. Older viewers (especially fans of Mr. Wooley) may find it somewhat appealing.
Battleground (1949)
Outstanding portrayal of soldiers in battle
BATTLEGROUND provides a very well-drawn, realistic portrayal of the timeless, unchanging aspects of warfare. This basic story of the foot soldier could have been set in any war, in any period of history, and still ring true. This characteristic makes it a film with a universal appeal. We feel every uncomfortable inconvenience and painful situation that infantry soldiers suffer when confronting an anonymous enemy in the harshest of conditions. In this case, it is the cold of winter that is pervasive, and the infantrymen bear up admirably amid the constant rain, mud, snow and fog, using nothing more than they can carry on their backs. The best and worst characteristics of human spirit are brought out under such inhumane conditions, and the film presents an honest and unwavering portrayal of this phenomenon. The simple yet electrifying ending is a stirring comment on the indomitable spirit and pride of armed forces everywhere. Highly recommended, 10/10.
This Island Earth (1955)
A classic from the golden age of science fiction
THIS ISLAND, EARTH is a classic, well made and engaging film from the golden age of science fiction. It stands well above most of its mid 1950s peers in terms of production values, scripting and especially wonderful special effects photography. A lot of care and skill went into creating the latter, and the result is durable even in comparison to the computer generated effects of today. One must remember that the film is approaching 50 years of age, and cannot reasonably be judged by today's standards. Detractors are quick to mention plot holes and dated acting. Perhaps the characterizations are a bit old fashioned and the plot suffers from lack of logic in a few spots. So what? Most all films will reveal plot errors if scrutinized, and in any case, the genre is called science fiction because it is fiction, not fact. The main purpose of any film is to entertain its audience, and THIS ISLAND, EARTH accomplishes that admirably. The entertainment value is superior to most (if not all) of the gore and profanity laced product served up as science fiction in the present day. It is a film that is rewarding and well worth the viewers time.