danrobfed

Cat Person (2023)

Modern dating is hard, amd we make it even harder by making so many mistakes along the way

I didn't have any idea what to expect when I turned this on tonight on Hulu. I saw the word cat, and the lead looked nice, so I thought I was gonna see a romantic comedy. Boy was I wrong. This is modern tale about dating, and the pitfalls of it as well.

People joke about meeting online, wishing they could instead have this meet cute that are in all the romantic comedies, but then real life is rarely like the movies. I do appreciate that about this movie. It tries to be a more realistic representation of the work it takes to date. Should I text right back? Should I go along with a date, even if it's not at a place I wanna go. Does this person really like me or are they saying all this to get in my pants? Lots of real life questions are brought up in this film.

The narrator is paranoid, but she probably has good reasons to be. But as a somewhat unreliable narrator, we see her envision all these scenes that never happen. They are her fears being brought to the forefront of her mind, and projected onto someone who may or may not be like that. We sympathize with her struggle to ask for what she wants, but we also wonder why she doesn't just communicate it directly as well.

As far as the male protagonist/antagonist (depending on the scene), we get a very bland view of him at the beginning. He seems like a late 20s/early 30s man, who watches way too many movies. His demeanor borders on the autistic, and I honestly think he was somewhere on the spectrum. He probably had heard online to not text a girl back right away so that she gets nervous and then texts a lot. We don't see him ignore her texts, but that's 100% what his plan was. He has been told or learned that communication is a game that men must play to keep a girl interested.

Then after the incredibly awkward moment where our female lead gains the power (awkward kiss), everything changes. She starts to recognize the weird things about him that she doesn't like. Does she say any of this to him? No. Is it partially cowardice? I would say yes, but also she clearly has this fear of him. A fear that she can't say no. A fear that hurting his feeling would lead him to doing something worse than awkward kisses or s*x. And man was it awkward. I've never felt so uncomfortable than I was in that scene. She basically goes numb and out of body to avoid the more awkward, but probably necessary conversation of telling him she is no longer interested. And once again for good reason. He is a tall man, much bigger than her. She is reliant on him for a ride home too. Which is also an awkward moment.

Male and female brains must see things in a much different ways. Because she clearly didn't want to have s*x with him, but he thought it was a great time. Part of this on her for refusing to communicate with him, but honestly he should also be more attentive to her body language too. It's a messed up situation, that could easily be fixed if the 2 of them never got to his house in the first place. She should have listened to her friend and got the Uber. The people that say casual s*x is normal, only believe that when the 2 parties are actually wanting it. In this case, there was no reason they should have been even thinking about this moment. But that's what texting relationships do. They give you a false sense of who someone is, and they make you think you have this connection, that you haven't actually achieved in the real world yet. It's not til the true connection happens, that you can feel a little more safe, or at least good about having s*x. Especially if you're texting all the time how much you like that person.

The caution I would give, is to slow down a little. Make sure you know who you are dealing with. Paranoia can be good, but a slow build up of trust is the key. In this hookup culture, women don't really know the man they are being so intimate with til it's too late. Caution is key.

And to the men watching this movie too, stop calling women wh*res when they reject you. Stop obsessing over their every text. Stop stalking and creeping out women. This makes all men look bad. The reason they say "All Men" is cause we could all be the ones who do this. As the gender with dominant physical strength, they are right to fear us, because we have been monsters for millenia. We need to be the generations that change that. We need to be more secure and less afraid of rejection.

Dating is hard, and this movie was a (somewhat) realistic view of how things can go terribly wrong. The house burns down at the end, symbolizing how both parties were responsible for the torching of their relationship. A relationship that should t have been only romantic, but about friendship too. When we ghost someone, or call someone a horrendous name, we damage the fragile relationship that men and women have. As in this movie, in real life we need to both communicate are feelings better. Otherwise we are left with toxic relationships and bitter endings. And as the end of the movie shows, we will just dive head first into the next one, not learning a thing.