babybatfan
Joined Feb 2024
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Reviews1
babybatfan's rating
I cannot stress how unfathomably BORING this movie is.
It lacked in EVERY category. The writing was atrocious. The acting was INSUFFERABLE; notably the starring actress who played Emma. Her voice, her MUMBLING drove me to near insanity. The actor for Jesse also mumbles. I can hardly understand either of them. The inconsistency in accents was "interesting" as well.
The dialogue feels like it's written by AI, and they all talk like robots. It's so cheap feeling, like they're trying to replicate proper English but instead I feel like I'm speaking to a customer service chatbot. If I hear "perhaps" one more time, I will guild myself. I was waiting for someone to say "affirmative" instead of "yes", or "negative" instead of "no". On the topic of dialogue, this whole movie is basically just a bunch of shots of one person talking, then another person talking. Then it cuts back to the same person, then the other. And they're sitting down. And it's not remotely interesting at all.
They just word salad dump the whole story.
It's patronizing how obvious "clues" are, especially when Emma has to have a flashback for every "a-ha!" moment. It's like the producer knew that everyone would have forgotten about the clue by the point it became relevant because the pacing is so strenuous and STAGNANT.
The cinematography is nonexistent. So many shots you can tell are only there to make a TV advertisement preview.
Not to even mention the total lack of any world building at all. I had no immersion at all to this "story".
This movie is far from historically accurate, but not even in a way where it's acceptable. If the plot were really good, or the characters lovable, or even the story ENTERTAINING in any way - even if it were laughably bad - I'd STILL be able to excuse it. I really don't even understand why this story takes place in the Gilded Age, It could've been any other time and still the exactly same story. Say, it could've taken place in 2010 and swapped out all the old timey stuff with modern equivalents - like a ball with a house party, or a carriage with a car.
Not only is it historically inaccurate, it's also borderline offensive how it erases racism and misogyny. It's trying to be progressive, but instead it comes off as ignorant. They could've used period typical misogyny as a plot device to make you actually care about our protagonist in a way.
None of the characters have any chemistry, or really personality. The actors and actresses have *so* little emotion in their acting that you just have to laugh.
The story put me to sleep. I watch a lot of TV mysteries, and read mysteries too. I probably have hundreds of hours of mystery media consumption under my belt, and it is my favorite genre. I have never been this bored by a mystery. I don't want to include spoilers in this review, but I will say that as I'm writing it I'm forgetting more and more of the story. It is so forgettable that I feel like in order to tell you about it, I'd have to be watching it at the same time. I heard this was an adaptation of a book, and I can only hope the book isn't as terrible. I feel bad for the author.
On a positive note, I did like the actress for the housekeeper/maid.
It lacked in EVERY category. The writing was atrocious. The acting was INSUFFERABLE; notably the starring actress who played Emma. Her voice, her MUMBLING drove me to near insanity. The actor for Jesse also mumbles. I can hardly understand either of them. The inconsistency in accents was "interesting" as well.
The dialogue feels like it's written by AI, and they all talk like robots. It's so cheap feeling, like they're trying to replicate proper English but instead I feel like I'm speaking to a customer service chatbot. If I hear "perhaps" one more time, I will guild myself. I was waiting for someone to say "affirmative" instead of "yes", or "negative" instead of "no". On the topic of dialogue, this whole movie is basically just a bunch of shots of one person talking, then another person talking. Then it cuts back to the same person, then the other. And they're sitting down. And it's not remotely interesting at all.
They just word salad dump the whole story.
It's patronizing how obvious "clues" are, especially when Emma has to have a flashback for every "a-ha!" moment. It's like the producer knew that everyone would have forgotten about the clue by the point it became relevant because the pacing is so strenuous and STAGNANT.
The cinematography is nonexistent. So many shots you can tell are only there to make a TV advertisement preview.
Not to even mention the total lack of any world building at all. I had no immersion at all to this "story".
This movie is far from historically accurate, but not even in a way where it's acceptable. If the plot were really good, or the characters lovable, or even the story ENTERTAINING in any way - even if it were laughably bad - I'd STILL be able to excuse it. I really don't even understand why this story takes place in the Gilded Age, It could've been any other time and still the exactly same story. Say, it could've taken place in 2010 and swapped out all the old timey stuff with modern equivalents - like a ball with a house party, or a carriage with a car.
Not only is it historically inaccurate, it's also borderline offensive how it erases racism and misogyny. It's trying to be progressive, but instead it comes off as ignorant. They could've used period typical misogyny as a plot device to make you actually care about our protagonist in a way.
None of the characters have any chemistry, or really personality. The actors and actresses have *so* little emotion in their acting that you just have to laugh.
The story put me to sleep. I watch a lot of TV mysteries, and read mysteries too. I probably have hundreds of hours of mystery media consumption under my belt, and it is my favorite genre. I have never been this bored by a mystery. I don't want to include spoilers in this review, but I will say that as I'm writing it I'm forgetting more and more of the story. It is so forgettable that I feel like in order to tell you about it, I'd have to be watching it at the same time. I heard this was an adaptation of a book, and I can only hope the book isn't as terrible. I feel bad for the author.
On a positive note, I did like the actress for the housekeeper/maid.