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Reviews
Christmas at the Holly Hotel (2022)
Terrible!!
I decided to watch this movie, despite the reviews, and soon regretted it. I don't really expect much from TV Christmas movies but this is particularly awful.
A bad script, really stilted performances, part time soundtrack and a ridiculous plot make this a stinker of a movie. Long cringeworthy montages aplenty are substituted for story and character development.
The lead actress looks like she's been spray painted orange, which is probably pretty close to the truth, and fails to be convincing - at all! Her parents are like something from The Twilight Zone. I thought they were attached at the hip for most of the film. The guy is totally fake and annoying.
The editing was very poor. A screen saying Christmas Day appeared followed by a scene which was clearly not on Christmas Day. The movie had a strange pace and the end was unbelievable and actually made me wince.
I have to live with the fact I'm never getting that 85 minutes of my life back. Don't make the same mistake I did - AVOID!!!
Deck the Heart (2021)
Just Awful!
I need to stop watching Candy Cain movies! This was even worse than the last one. Poor camerawork, poor acting (probably largely due to the poor script), poor sound, poor setting, poor wardrobe, tortuous soundtrack! There was nothing to redeem this movie. It wouldn't have been much worse if the cast had walked around holding microphones!
The ending was terrible. It felt like they just gave up and said "let's just go home". There was no chemistry between the leads and it felt awkward. Come to think of it all the interactions in the movie were awkward and unnatural. The "near death" scene was laugh out loud ridiculous.
It only gave it two stars because it was so bad it was funny, which I suppose is entertainment!
Ivy & Mistletoe (2020)
Terrible!!!
This movie is like a C grade student's movie project. It's awful. The camerawork is laughable. There are a lot of strange shots. I think it's supposed to be artistic but there is nothing entertaining about looking at a glass for 20 seconds.
The acting is really wooden and this is not helped by the awful makeup artist that was released on the poor females. If they were going for "Romulan spies" then they nailed it. Why have their eyebrows been shaped at such a severe angle??!!
Ivy reminds me of one of the marionettes from the Sound of Music. She is completely unbelievable. This is probably largely due to the terrible script. The rest of the cast aren't any better.
The continuity and pace of the movie is strange. Where did the dog appear from? Suddenly the family have a dog that was never referenced before.
The soundtrack is awful. You don't expect much from TV movies, but this is one of the worst I've been subjected to.
Avoid!!!!
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023)
Plot too ridiculous for me!
I can't help feel a little let down by this movie. It's main failing point is the plot. I didn't expect it to be believable but they could have come up with something that at least made sense and was consistent. How could an artefact that could apparently predict time fissures allow anyone to travel to a specific date and time of their choosing??!!! It wasn't a time machine. They kept banging on about maths and science both of which were thrown out the window in favour of some truly lazy writing! What an earth was all that guff about continental plates???!! Oh and then - no you could only travel to that time. I think this franchise should have been left to die. This is a pointless movie with dubious casting and shaky plot!
Shotgun Wedding (2022)
Good fun with a few laughs!
This one of the funnier romcoms I've seen recently. It is completely daft but I enjoyed it. Some of the acting is bit questionable, especially from Lenny Kravitz, who isn't good at all.
I can't really understand the haters. Were they expecting the cutting edge of cinema. The film is what you would expect from an action romcom. It's an amusing and entertaining film set in a stunning location. It has plenty of drama but you know that everything will work out in the end. It has plot hole aplenty but if you're looking for 104 minutes of escapism I would recommend this movie. It's highly watchable.
We Have a Ghost (2023)
Pretty Decent Movie
This isn't the best movie in the world, but at least it's different. It has a engaging plot. It's very watchable. It has a good amount of drama and emotion.
The movie deals with some pretty dark themes but still manages to be lighthearted. The family are a bit annoying but it kind of works with the teen angst, " my family are so embarrassing", theme.
The plot is a little silly, but there's no point taking this kind of movie too seriously. If you don't it's an entertaining family movie with a solid cast.
If you are looking to fill some time with a modern supernatural family movie, this is a good choice.
2nd Chance for Christmas (2019)
Awful Charles Dickens Adaptation
This is yet another take on "A Christmas Carol" and not a good one. The budget didn't extend to decent special effects, the acting was stilted and unbelievable and the sets were rubbish. The casting was the main problem. The makers would have been better off finding new talent rather than paying for known stars who didn't fit well. Tara Reid is incapable of facial expression and I found her mask like visage distracting.
The main character, Chance, was so awful it was hard to believe her 180 degree turn at the end. Brittany Underwood, who played her, was totally unconvincing. Her character was so one dimensional. The romance storyline was cringeworthy. The poor bloke should have run a mile long ago!
Avoid! There are much better Dickens' adaptions out there.
Middleton Christmas (2020)
Didn't really feel like a Christmas movie
This movie has a real amateurish feel about it. The plot and the writing is pretty so-so. It's not really a Christmas movie. The Christmas element seems to have been added to make the movie more saleable rather than it being important to the plot or feel of the film. This is disappointing.
The movie has an odd tempo. It just plods along. Even when something serious happens it feels pedantic rather than dramatic. It is a feel good movie and the story wraps up nicely, but it's a shame that the storytelling is so lame.
The song at the end is terrible. The girl is clearly lip syncing to someone else. The highly anticipated choreography was a joke!
If you are looking for a good festive feel good movie; avoid this!
A Match Made at Christmas (2021)
Hard to watch it's so terrible
I can't believe this misogynistic drivel was marketed as a Christmas movie. The spirit of Christmas is nowhere in sight. The male lead is a rude arrogant bully who spends most of the movie taking out his mom issues on the closest available female. Then after having a meltdown about Holly interfering with his life, takes her help, after claiming he didn't need it, and comes crawling back with a hollow declaration of love, and Holly just forgets the fact that he is a total cad and falls into his emotionally abusive arms.
Holly is annoying and not very likeable, but it's not really surprising as her "perfect family" are a bunch of users. She nursed her mother after the car accident which killed her father and has been running her father's business alone while her brother was getting his degree. She spends the film working a full time job while single handedly planning her brother's wedding (apparently the bride needed a rest and to spend time with her fiancée and couldn't be bothered with helping with the wedding she'd demanded at short notice and her brother was too busy making his own business plans).
Every time Holly said or did what she wanted she was shouted at and felt she had to apologise. After getting her to plan her wedding for free and giving her such a tight budget that she had to make the decorations and sew the dress alterations herself, the bride has a meltdown accusing Holly of taking over and basically guilts her into using all her money (which she had painstakingly saved to go travelling) to buy her the wedding dress of her dreams. Then goes off on her honeymoon. I was open mouthed at the awfulness of this so called "best friend".
I would not recommend this movie. It's not a feel good movie. It forcefully pushes the myth that a woman can't be happy unless she gets married and women should be obsessed with finding a husband, tolerate being treated poorly and are not deserving of respect. If I could have given it no stars, I would have.
Blockbuster (2022)
Mildly amusing, watchable show
I quite liked this show and I was sad to see it wasn't returning for a new season, but it was no more than ok.
I found it amusing in parts but I have to agree with a lot of the reviews on here that it wasn't actually funny. There were no laugh out loud moments or scenes that I could say were hilarious, which is disappointing for a show that describes itself as a comedy.
The characters were ok, but no one really stood out and it was hard to get invested in any of them. The storylines were predictable and derivative which gave the show the feeling of wearing an old shoe. The "will they, won't they" romance is straight out of Superstore.
All a bit "meh" I'm afraid.
Check Inn to Christmas (2019)
Quite an enjoyable movie
This a good movie to watch if you are looking for something warm-hearted but predictable. It's pretty much what you would expect from the genre.
There were a few gaping plot holes, especially towards the end but I chose to ignore them and not think about it too much. It's typical of this type of movie anyway.
I felt the family feud dimension made it a bit different from the usual Christmas TV movie plot.
Rachel Boston, though intense, always has a dazzling smile which gives the movie a real feel good factor. There's a lot of emphasis on family and amity which are perfect themes for a Christmas movie.
Decent feel good movie.
A Kindhearted Christmas (2021)
I'm still laughing at the Christmas cracker scene!!
This movie is a usual Christmas cheesy romance, but I'm afraid to say that it isn't one of the better ones. The characters are pretty one dimensional and I didn't like any of them. There were a lot of wide eyed, over exaggerated facial expressions going on and overacting that was downright annoying.
The main guy is an annoying mansplainer who clearly thinks he knows more than he does. There is one scene where he books out a whole restaurant and then introduces the Christmas cracker from England (like it's the most exotic place in the world)- Da-Dah!!! - and then proceeds to show her how to pull it wrongly. He missed the whole concept of the Christmas cracker! I must admit it's hilarious and I laughed at loud. It was so ridiculous. He's just so pleased with himself. For me that was the most entertaining bit of the film.
A Very British Christmas (2019)
I feel I've been a bit generous giving this 3 stars!
For me the worst thing about this movie was the plot. The whole premises was ridiculous. It's not difficult to get to Vienna, there are all sorts of routes you can take.
Airports have hotels so why was she in this village. I'm pretty sure there isn't an airport in the UK that is connected by steam train!!!
Okay it's Hallmark, home of nonsensical fantasy, but I couldn't get past the fact that the female lead was supposed to be a top soprano and yet she never practised, ate whatever she liked whether or not it was good for the vocal chords and planned to turn up to a concert to perform three solos without any practice or even knowing what the songs were!!! She didn't seem to give a toss about her fans or have any professionalism at all. She just stood them up with no apology. There was no reason she could not have honoured her professional engagements and then gone back to Yorkshire. I just kept thinking 'what a horrid person'!
Morbius (2022)
Let down by poor writing!
It's a real shame that this film was so dire. It should have been good but the plot was ridiculous and didn't work at all! There was no CCTV at a tube station? Witnesses all blind were they? No-one carries mobile phones? You're in hiding but the only thing you do to disguise yourself is put your hood up which you then take it down in a public café?
The police seem too useless and there is no way Morbius would have been charged for murder based on the evidence they had. No-one seemed to mention his super powers despite seeing them, they were just ignored and Morbius was treated like a normal suspect.
The plot was really predictable from the outset and the film just suddenly seemed to end quite abruptly. A really disappointing watch!
Fistful of Vengeance (2022)
Terrible!
I can't believe I waited so long for this and rewatched Wu Assassins in anticipation of it. It's just bad. The storyline is ridiculous and there are endless not particularly well choreographed fight sequences and an ending that was disappointing.
Coming 2 America (2021)
Why????
I love Coming to America. It's one of my favourite comedies of all time. This terrible sequel is a blatant attempt to cash in on its success, while making no effort whatsoever to make a decent movie. The plot is terrible. The rather sad and desperate feeling attempt to be "woke" is cringeworthy. There are too many cameos and absolutely no substance. Avoid!!!!
Breach (2020)
Just awful!!!!
Derivative, pointless drivel. Even Bruce Willis could not save this terrible movie!!
A Discovery of Witches (2018)
Ugh!
I really can't stand the main character, Diana. Why does she dress like a schoolgirl? The storyline is just uninspired, typical dross and brings nothing new to the genre. Many cringeworthy moments!
Update: After watching all three seasons I've upped my rating from two to four. It does get better as the story progresses but most of the characters are not likeable and the storylines are full of holes. The story felt quite rushed. A lot was packed into a relatively low number of episodes. There was enough material for much longer series and i think this programme may have been better if the story had had more time to be developed/better explained.