swingkid_2000

Tekken: Buraddo benjensu (2011)

No denying: This movie blows.

I'm a big fan of the Tekken series, but this movie is testing my patience as a fan.

First of all, why is the movie starring the character that has the LEAST amount of connection to Tekken's overall story?

Second, why do we need androids? Was boxing kangaroos and living training dummies not far-fetched enough? Speaking of far-fetched, why is Panda featured as a main character? I'm not kidding, Panda gets more screen time than Lee, Nina or Anna. And somehow, we're supposed to take it seriously...

The dubbing is awful across the board, I've heard better dubbing in B-grade hentai. Er, not that I would know, just from what I hear... Moving on.

In the last 15 minutes or so of the movie, you find out that the ENTIRE plot revolving around the pretty boy Shin and the two girls was COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY POINTLESS, and it doesn't even have any resolution. A whole new plot starts, and it's wrapped up even worse than the previous one. (Rocket fist? Really?!)

You could argue that in a Tekken movie, all that matters is the fighting. Well, this movie manages to sucker punch you there too, because there is HARDLY any fighting whatsoever. It's no exaggeration that more time is spent between the two girls yacking their heads off than fighting. The only good fight is the one at the end between three certain characters; partially because the two stupid girls aren't involved, and also because it's actually exciting. But is that worth sitting through all the bullcrap this movie has? HELL no. Just look up the final fight on Youtube.

And ignore SecretSkills' review, unless you're like him/her, and all you need to be happy is bright flashy images in your face. Trust me, save yourself the time and killed brain cells and just have someone jingle keys in your face for an hour. Keys that have a panda keychain on them.

0 out of 10, and that's being gracious.