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Reviews
La chiesa (1989)
Sins of the Past Return
Dario Argento protege Michele Soavi knows how to light and frame a shot for maximum impact which helps The Church get through any narrative issues its script has. It reminds one of John Carpenter's Prince of Darkness with it's underground lairs under churches full of secrets and even borrows aspects from Rosemary's Baby.
The Return of the Living Dead (1985)
Brains!
Functioning as an unofficial sequel of sorts to Night of the Living Dead, this darkly comic zombie tale tells the audience that the events of that film were real and the government covered it up and brought the zombies to a warehouse. Two bumbling workers there accidentally unleash the zombies from their protective casings and start another zombie outbreak. The punk attitude, humor, and great soundtrack are big reasons why this film works. It feels like a weird, gory party you don't want to miss.
Parents (1989)
This is a Weird One
Fans of David Lynch should find this one mouth watering. It has Randy Quaid and Mary Beth Hurt as two perfect 50's parents who might have moved to a new town because of their unhealthy taste for human meat. At least that's what their young son thinks. It's never quite clear what is really going on and it's treated like the fever dream of a confused and disturbed young child. It's strange, but engrossing.
Waxwork (1988)
Superb Effects
Waxwork never aims any higher than to simply be entertaining and, to be honest, I wish more films would do that. It takes a simple premise of museum goers being sucked into the horror exhibits they're viewing and runs with it, splattering its attractive young cast with gallons of fake blood and showcasing some pretty impressive makeup effects involving vampires and werewolves.
Savage Streets (1984)
Great Soundtrack for a Fun Movie
Linda Blair gets revenge for her deaf and mute sister who was assaulted by a gang of vicious lowlifes and does so with style and humor and a crossbow. Savage Streets might not be the sharpest production out there and a lot of the acting will leave a bit to be desired, but Blair appears to be having a good time and the 80's rock soundtrack keeps the film exciting.
Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988)
Like A Gory Family Adventure Movie
Picking up right where the original left off, Hellbound: Hellraiser II finds Kirsty in a mental hospital when no one will believe her tall tales of a mysterious puzzle box that opens the gates of hell. Soon, an inquisitive doctor takes matters into his own hands and reopens the gates of hell.
The scope of Hellbound is much larger and it channels Jim Henson's Labyrinth if it were made by the Manson family. It's a visual feast and a special effects showcase more than anything, but that doesn't mean it isn't very entertaining.
Macabro (1980)
Incredibly Odd
I think most ladies will agree that good head is hard to find which is exactly why the heroine of this movie hangs on to her lover's severed head and stores it in a fridge so that she can take it out and bring it into bed for some late night cuddling.
No, you won't find that in many other movies, will you? At least this makes Macabre somewhat unique. It has the tendency to drag every now and then, but the bizarre nature of the story and characters continue to captivate throughout, leading to a truly insane ending that must be seen to be believed.
Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama (1988)
Good Natured Fluff
An amusing cast and inventive effects make this one a must see for horror/sci-fi fans. A sorority initiation involves breaking into a mall bowling alley and stealing a special cup, but things take a turn when this cup ends up housing a playful, but evil creature who grants wishes with a price.
This one won't solve world peace, but one can have a good time with it if they're in the right mood. It's never very gory, but there are lots of bare breasts on display if you're into that sort of thing.
Nightmare Sisters (1988)
Dumb Fun
Hopefully, no one rented or bought Nightmare Sisters looking for the meaning of life. If you did, I'm sorry, but you're not going to find it here. What you will get are scream queens Linnea Quigley, Brinke Stevens, and Michelle Bauer camping it up as nerdy sorority girls who are transformed into sexy vixens by a demon which makes them hungry for college boys.
Nightmare Sisters moves at a brisk pace, never giving the audience much time to be bored. The film has a knowing twinkle in its eye and seems to understand how ridiculous this all is. Nudity and gore fans will be pleased for sure.
Excision (2012)
Bizarre Dark Comedy
You should know what Excision is going for the moment John Waters shows up in a cameo. The story alone feels like something Waters would have made in the 70's albeit with a lighter touch. This isn't to say that Excision isn't funny - it has very funny moments, but it's a tragic story at heart that's incredibly well acted. Traci Lords, in particular, is a standout as the people pleasing mother of the lead. This is a must see for fans of bizarre films.
Jennifer's Body (2009)
Amusing Creature Feature
Jennifer's Body might, at times, be too clever for its own good, but at least it has a point of view and a few interesting things to say. Sure, Diablo Cody's writing can veer into the precious and twee every now and then, but the story is interesting and well played by Amanda Seyfried and Megan Fox as two childhood best friends who are being torn apart by beauty, social status, boys, and demons. There are some cute one-liners here and there and a funny bit of social satire about how news outlets cover small town tragedy, but the horror elements never really pop. Thankfully, the rest is so entertaining that you might not mind.
Prom Night (1980)
Slow, But Memorable Slasher
Prom Night is one of the bigger names when it comes to the early 80's slasher boom. Why? I'm assuming it's due to the casting of Jamie Lee Curtis (in a strange, semi-lead role that has her disappear from the action for a good chunk of the film). It's far from the best slasher, it's slow as molasses at times, and there's hardly any gore, but there's a pleasant attention to characters and performance that's noticeably absent in other slashers. The disco soundtrack and a well orchestrated chase sequence during the finale makes it worthwhile and memorable. The final sequence is also unique in that it actually attempts to add a little heartbreaking pathos into the mix. You certainly won't get that in Friday the 13th Part 7.