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MagicMurderFan
Reviews
The Witches (2020)
It's a remake
Most remakes never give you the feeling the original gives you but that's part of it. Not a bad movie, not great. The casting was good, I love Chris Rock, he's impossible not to like. Anne Hathaway is usually good, but her accent was distracting, sometimes we were German, then Transylvanian, not sure who's idea that was. My little boy loves the movie and really that's the target audience. So he doesn't card if her accent is awful.
Octavia is likable in almost anything she does. The grandmothers character in the first one wasn't an award winner, so you can't expect too much out of what she has to work with. All in all an entertaining movie and I like new origin stories. I don't think it's "woke", I think it's just a different view when done correctly can deliver entertainment and diversity without distracting the viewer.
Best in Show (2000)
This never gets old.
They nailed it, I'm watching this movie for the 20th time. I love it. All of the characters are hilarious. Every actor in this was on point with their characters. Levy and O'Hara crack me up. Love them. The late Fred Willard as a judge had me rolling. Where's busy-bee?!
The Strain (2014)
Great show
I love the stories and almost all of the characters. Love Abraham's character, he so sarcastic. Season 1 hooked me but then as many forums have discussed they replaced an adorable faced Zack with a sour faced, a-hole of a kid. The glaring was almost enough to make me stop watching, is that all he knows how to do? Range? Please, he knew how to act one way, spoiled brat. I just wanted someone to smack that kid the entire show. I agree, feed him to the vamps. All other characters were great. Palmer was a creeper but I think that's what he is suppose to be. But now that I think he looks like Lynn Shaye, I can't unsee it.
Hallowed Ground (2007)
Low budget I guess
I love Chloe Moretz, she's a excellent actress and she was so young in this, so what could she do? The acting was horrible from everyone else. Cheesy "Evil dead" effects the difference was Evil Dead was campy on purpose. Awful movie. A lot of holes. Best part crow justice.
Tell Me a Story (2018)
I like it
I get what folks are saying about it having really nothing to do with fairytales but it has a good intertwining of stories so far. Enough, that I'm still watching. I love Kim Cantrell and she looks amazing in this.
Girl (2020)
When all else fails...
Bella Thorne we get it you have breasts. I almost feel bad that her acting is so bad, they are like "can we write in a scene with her chest?" Every movie she's in we get to see them, unsolicited. Watching this movie, made me want to shower. They got the dirty meth head look down. I wanted to like it because I like Mickey Rourke, but it's a no go.
The plot was just silly. I almost laughed when the "plot twist" was revealed. "Daddy, daddy, daddy" It wasn't profound. Precious was profound, Hillbilly Elegy, but this missed the mark, badly. We get it break the cycle but it was a message with a bunch of disconnect surrounding the hatchet throwing, trailer park girl.
Freaky (2020)
Formula
I give it a 5 because I love Vince. But I had no idea I could just fake my death by taking off my pulse ox. They do realize the electrodes on his chest is what gives us that "flatline" you all love. By the way that's wrong too. (Don't look at movie holes) By now this is almost common knowledge. But overall a decent movie. The actors can't help it the script is ridiculous. Cute, gory movie, as far as predictability, it's predictable but entertaining.
Wolves (2014)
Meh.
Drunk Gail was my favorite. The story was terrible. Everyone else sucked. It was all over the place.
Into the Dark: Blood Moon (2021)
It wasn't bad...could have been better
There were just too many holes. Like, it makes no sense to move around and why can't he just be like a normal kid the other days of a month. Why wouldn't you just stay stationary and prepare for the full moon. And why could she go to work but he couldn't go to the bday party. Dumb. And why didn't he eat her, after the car crash?
Not to mention her kid literally does the opposite of what his mom asks him to do. I know he's young but he understands how dangerous he is and yet he continues to go out. Her kid is ripping apart the cops and she is just sitting there crying, instead of trying help? And then when you finally see him, he's literally just a dog. My little boy yelled "puppy", that's how lame the budget was. I was really interested in the beginning of this but then it just got stupid.
No Such Thing (2001)
Weird
I can't get past the yanker in her mouth, for a breathing tube, that's what they suction your mouth out with. Really? Or surgery while the patient had had no anesthesia on her spine? She would probably die of shock. I screamed at the screen multiple times because the characters just did weird stuff the whole time. Just weird, but unproductive weird.
Replicas (2018)
Keanu you know I love you but...
Like always Keanu is great, the family, the worst actors they could have found...forced weird dialogue. Who told Alice Eve she could act? She is awful...my family and I just sat there laughing at her weird robot dialog. So many other talented actresses out there, why her? Stepford wife. And let's be honest if your whole family died you may be in shock, when you lose your child, hysterics is what happens, maybe catatonic? You don't immediately say well "F$&% it, let's clone them, "hey coworker/family friend, can you chop up my family and dispose of them? Thanks, I owe you one." And who chooses their wife over their children?? A crappy parent. Then he adds insult to injury and deletes Zoe. Why wouldn't you save the kids and explain away mom? Instead you kill off your baby girl twice? I can't feel sorry for this character, horrible parenting. One for killing them and two for turning them into robot zombies. The script had potential but it made no sense. Still love you Keanu.
The Final Wish (2018)
So bad...
Wasn't really sure what was going on, getting hit by a car to help with your hair lip scar is a bit much. (2 months healing at a minimum, not 3 days, but hey it's movie time) And $5000 lottery ticket seems like a drop in the bucket considering you owe $3000 for rent alone. This was a stinker. Melissa Bologna (on purpose) was painful to watch, she can barely more her mouth, Botox, fillers, or fake teeth, not sure but it was awful.
Max Winslow and the House of Secrets (2019)
Well that was dumb
I tried twice to watch this. Nope. Low budget can't be helped but the acting sucked. The characters are cheese and the point was on the nose from the get go. It was a rip off, mash up of Willy Wonka, Breakfast club, and Halloweentown with a man dressed as a knight, impersonating a robot. It was confusing and boring at the same time.
The Owners (2020)
Wash your hair.
Every one of the teens needed to shower and wash their filthy hair. Gross. The movie, no, just no. Waste of money. Went nowhere and a painful pace.
Mine Games (2012)
Nope
The chick that played Lyla was awful. Such a bad actress. The guy that played Micheal looks like the RC cola version of Shawn Ashmore, clearly the Rose chick is the knock of Shannon Elizabeth or what they were going for, huge chest and tiny arms that runs around screaming. Now, to the people responsible for this film, just because she had a decent scream, don't have her scream repeatedly, for no reason. So many low budget films do this, they rely over and over on one professional grade snippet in the movie and do it to death. They think a little is good, more is better. No, no it's not.
Uncle Frank (2020)
I cried happy and sad the whole time
This was such a great movie. I don't mean 10/10 in best film ever, I mean 10/10 it made me so happy and sad and I think that's what a great movie should do. Wally's character, I fell in love with immediately. I think it lets you fall in love with gay culture organically and that's the only way to fall in love, otherwise it's just forced and eventually rejected. Very well written, in how the characters responded to Frank. I like that not everyone was knocking down the door to accept him, because that is they way the world works, for you and against you. I was postponing watching this because I knew it would get me crying but I'm glad I did. It was good watch.
Prodigal Son (2019)
I was so excited and then I watched the show
First and foremost don't cast a woman to mother children who are literally 12 years younger than her, recasting was mentioned In an earlier review, not a bad idea. I know they were going for an Botox trophy wife character, but she just looks like a constipated older sister. No, chemistry with the kids. Sheen is great but the plot line is so ridiculous, a man that murdered 23 people somehow has more comforts than free people? Come on. And while I like Payne's looks, his character is borderline ridiculous with the script they have provided, it's like a parody it's so over the top. The acting is super cheesy at times but it's almost like 911 lone star cheesy. I was hoping for better...bummed.
Happiest Season (2020)
It was cute
Anything Daniel Levy does is precious. Oddly, enough I'm not a fan of Kristen Stewart, but I was team Abby. I was hoping Abby would end up with Riley...I liked it but everyone is right it's made for tv. My husband was laughable, he was like "No, don't choose Harper, she's a jerk!" I would have enjoyed it more if Abby ditched Harper and started seeing Riley, but it was still cute. Jane's character was adorable, loved her.
Ghosts of War (2020)
The ending...
Super into 90% of the movie...and then the ending. Why? A perfectly good movie when to hell in a hand basket. Swing and a miss, boys, swing and a miss.
The Queen's Gambit (2020)
Loved it.
I was so happy to see Jolene return, it broke my heart they were separated. It is a story that has been done before but, I still loved it. Her love interests were gross. Harry Melling is so creepy and his character was super stalkery and pathetic. He always looks like he has a head injury and is about to stab someone. Thomas Brodie-Sangster looks like a prepubescent muskrat, with his weird beatnik facial hair. He was a adorable kid but super creepy as an adult. Overall a good watch minus the lack normal looking males.
The Lie (2018)
Lame.
Are you going to tell me that at some point you didn't want to throw that kid, through a wall? Joey King's acting totally sucked at the end. Not to mention, her character was so unlikable. You don't get to "pretend" to kill someone, have your parents go to those measures to protect you and say it's just cause I wanted to be a family again. She's mental. Well gurl, ya moms and your dads going to prison. Hope you're happy.
Flowers (2016)
Royal Tennenbaums vibe
I like the weirdness, it actually made me cry at some points. But its hilariously weird. I'm obsessed with how cute and optimistic Shun is. Everything he says is wonderful. His story literally had me crying.
The Messengers (2007)
Really?
"I was in a bad accident and Ben hasn't talked since then"...the kid is like 14 months old, was he speaking before his accident? Seriously? Bad story line. Bad, bad acting. Don't put Kristen Stewart in anything that she needs to act surprised or scared in, she only does one look, sedated/constipated. So don't expect too much.
Dark Harbor (2019)
Just dumb
This movie made no sense if the mother had Charlie at 15 what was she like 10 when she had Kellen? And who cast Charlie? He looks nothing like either parent? Super weird Looking kid. Looks like a mini Mark Zuckerberg and that was the quickest labor I've ever seen, even for TV. The other thing was I didn't explain what happened to Kellens private area if he was urinary incontinent and carried a catheter with him you would just pull your in bag out of your pants and disconnect it . Who wrote this and didn't think to explain it? And another reviewer was right, the leading lady needs to wash her damn face. Looks like she slept in her makeup the entire time. At least She killed him right, homegirl did it prison style.
Derry Girls (2018)
Love it
Freaking hilarious. I didn't give it a 10 just because I'm American and I need a translator but I love it. Give them 10 seasons, took me back. Love the wardrobe.