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nicolasroop
Reviews
Terrifier 3 (2024)
Unfortunately, a one trick pony...
Terrifier 3, was it all it was hyped up to be? In my humble opinion, not at all. What we have here is a sequel that is more in line with the first film than with the second. Meaning the director once again puts the story in the background in favor of more gore and violence than any slasher movie deserves.
The entire time I couldn't help but think that I had zero connection to any of these characters being massacred before my eyes. It was all together brain-numbing. However, hats off the FX team. The gore effects really shined the way they did in the first two, but there was no substance to them. It was just gore for gores sake. None of it was as shocking or horrid feeling as the bedroom scene from chapter 2. The difference was this time Leone refused to write his characters in a way that makes me care about what happens to them. Unlike in chapter 2, where we spent a fair amount of time with Sienna and her friends before they all start getting massacred off.
Acting-wise, this film is a major improvement over the other two. It seems almost every major character here is being believably acted, as opposed to some drama club short hires. The real stand out again being Lauren LaVera as Sienna Shaw. She holds the entire thing together with a piece of thread. Sure, David Howard Thornton is great as Art The Clown, but I also felt his performance here was just more of the same. This time, Vicky was the more entertaining of the pair to watch. The way Samantha Scaffidi can emote all that awfulness and crazy through all those prostectics was impressively done.
The story was decent, but needed to be fleshed out more. It doesn't really expand on anything we didn't already know about Art The Clown or his opposite, and it doesn't even seem to follow it's own rules it sets out earlier in the film. It doesn't explain what is happening with Vicky, nor does it explain why any of this came about. Not really a fan of them leaving it open ended either, as the film never really progressed the story in the first place.
This doesn't need a chapter 4, and Damien Leone should've been smart enough to end it right here with this one. It's being drawn out too far and the series is getting stale. The director's constant need to push the envelope has also painted himself into a corner and turned this into a one trick pony. Heres to hoping they fully end it with the next one, or we at least finally get some concrete answers.
Overall, I cannot recommend it unless you're a fan. Your typical movie goer might be offended by the ultraviolence on display, but those of us who have seen the others in the series will not be shocked by what is presented. Overhyped and underbaked, just like the first one.
2 bloody Santas out of 5.
Azrael (2024)
Can I get a crumb of context, please?
I got what the film was going for by the end of the film but, seriously, would've been a lot less frustrating had the film actually told us a bit about what was happening before they decided to hit is over the head with it.
The only thing told from the beginning is that everyone is mute, because of the apocalypse and their sins of speech or something like that. That's all you get. Other than that, it's up to the audience to piece together the, once you figure it out, incredibly simple storyline. And it is just that, a simple film. Nothing note-worthy here. Just some decently staged gory moments, and some decent acting. The ending is incredibly predicable, to the point of you knowing what's going to happen long before you get there. It's pretty run of the mill horror here.
Overall, I couldn't recommend spending money on it. It was watchable and kept my interest, but if I had paid for it, I would've been pretty disappointed. It'll be on Shudder for free in no time, just wait for it til then.
2 relious cults out of 5.
Megalopolis (2024)
Without a doubt, the worst film I have seen in IMAX format
What was the point of that? What was the point of the audience thing if nobody actually did anything? What was the point of the city of Megalopolis? From what I've gathered after my experience, it amounts to absolutely nothing. Nor does it mean anything. I doubt there was a point to any of this at any point in the production.
Why is Aubrey Plaza in this? Her role didn't fit. Why was Dustin Hoffman in this too? Random casting. Shia Labeouf plays himself as always. Adam Driver is ok as the lead, but his role was also underwritten and half baked. The other acting ranges from unbelievable to absolutely out of place. I mean, how you are going to bring Laurence Fishburne into this and do next to nothing with him is beyond me. Felt bad for the cast of all very capable actors. Almost felt like they were in it just to say they've been in a Coppola film.
The only saving grace this film has is it's romance between the two leads. It is the only charming part of the movie, but even that is maybe a tenth of what this film is about. The rest is complete and utter nonsense! Coppola must think he's Shakespeare, because this feels like Romeo & Juliet, and it's written like it too. Unfortunately, Coppola is no Shakespeare and the writting makes the film come off as even more pretentious than it already did.
The ending was the icing on the cake for me, though. The part that turned the entire experience sour. I had to keep myself from walking out throughout the bloated runtime, but then the slap in the face to the USA pops up onscreen as one of the last things said. An inversion of our anthem as a country. These Hollywood elites really make it feel like they want this world to end and this country to perish. The same country that pays their way and allows their freedoms like this hate speech to be put into films. Sick of seeing it purported into film and television. It was gross and not very classy.
Overall, I hated it. Wish I could get my almost 3 hours back, after the trailers and such. Don't waste your money. If you must see it, wait to watch it for free. It is honestly the worst film I've seen allowed to go to the IMAX. Another reviewer referred to it being akin to 2003's The Room. I agree with that sentiment, except The Room has a bit of charm due to it's awfulness and film school feel to it. This is a seasoned director working with seasoned actors equipped with a 120 million dollar budget. There is no excuse for why this film is such complete and utter garbage.
0 ideological philosophies out of 5.
Beetlejuice Beetlejuice (2024)
Great sequel, don't listen to the 1 star reviews
For some reason, people are review bombing this film. I don't know why. This was a competent and clever sequel that lives up to it's predecessor in almost every way.
It helps having the majority of the original cast, as well as some welcomed new faces. It's also nice having Tim Burton back in the director's seat. He was able to keep the feel from the original and translate it just enough to keep the style without it feeling like a stale rehash. Nice job, Tim!
My only negative for the film is it takes quite a while before we get to all the Beetlejuice stuff. Granted, there is a lot of story to cover between the original and now, but some of it could have been condensed into shorter segments.
Overall, it's a true to the original sequel with all the zany and quirky natured things the original has. Even if it takes a bit to get started, once it does, you'll be hooked. If you were not a fan of the original, this one will not change your mind. However, if you were a fan and you crave more story, you can't go wrong with this albeit unnecessary, but welcomed, sequel.
4 Bobs out of 5.
Trap (2024)
High concept thriller can't decide what it wants to be...
Is this a movie where we're rooting for the bad guy? Is this a movie where we're supposed to feel empathy for him? The first half hour certainly makes you think so and you are kinda interested in how all of this is going to play out. Then, he turns into a shadow with no explaination on how he is doing all of this, nor how he is trained to do all of this. Talk about a confused plotline.
The film also regretfully derails so hard in the final thirty minutes or so, it's almost embarrassing as far as the writing goes. The singer, which did things no celebrity would ever do, was thrown to the side at the end, with no recourse for her character other than to be a plot device, even though she is supposed to be the centerpiece of the film. It didn't make much real world sense in a film that doesn't make any sense in the first place.
The acting also was hit and miss. Josh Hartnett was at his best when he was being serious. All his phony happy acting would've been seen through in an instant, especially in the case of the concert surrounded by police and swat teams that are looking for him specifically. The daughter was servicable until she had to put real emotion into it, then it was just bad. Same with Alison Pill, who can deliver dialog with great emotion and success is limited to a sniffling soccer mom in the end. Completely underutilized her star power here. And what was the point of the old british lady? She has zero screentime other than to stand there and look around suspuciously and gave some of the most useless voiceover dialog that she just may have well not even been in the film at all. It was terrible.
Overall, this film could've been a lot better. M. Night needs to slow his roll and make a good movie again. This one was not well thought out at all and more than half the situations didn't make any sense, nor would they ever had been allowed to occur. As for the killer? The character himself was just not menacing enough to drive home the fact that he was indeed a monstrous serial killer. There are other problems that lay within the film, and if you choose to see it, I have no doubt you will find those problems as well. I would wait for Netflix or Hulu with this one, thank me later.
1.5 tour tees out of 5.
Deadpool & Wolverine (2024)
Marvel brings it's A-game for it's final round with Deadpool and Wolverine
Wow! Just wow! Might be one of my favorite Marvel films next to Logan. A self aware romp through a forgetten Marvel catalog of characters complete with some pretty explosive and unexpected cameos.
The way the film pokes fun of the entire Superhero genre was quickfire and only got better as the film went on. The creators knew how to hold their card til just the right moment and the payoff was major. Big laughs from everyone in the audience and for once they felt natural to the characters.
Speaking of which, a surprising amount of chemistry from Reynolds and Jackman. They really know how to riff off eachothers characters and it just felt right. At first, I was afraid the mash up was going to become more of a gimmick but I'm glad they made it flow into the plotline the way they did.
Overall, without giving away too much, this is a Marvel masterpiece. Highly recommended to fans of the Marvel filmography, or Deadpool in general. And as always with the character, not for the kiddos in the slightest.
5 vibranium katanas out of 5.
Longlegs (2024)
The more I think about it, the less I like it
Just got out of the theater, and my initial thoughts on the film were that it had good acting, a fantastically captured feeling of dread, and the first half was a slam dunk. One of the best first half of a film I've seen for this kind of flick. The way it was brilliantly shot and how it had me on the edge of my seat, wondering what was going to happen next. It's the second half where it became problematic for me.
The second half of the film focuses far too much on the detective and not nearly enough on the killer and his motives. It all seems to be lost in there somewhere and Oz Perkins cannot for the life of himself figure it out. I'm still not sure what 'Longlegs' was even trying to accomplish. Some sort of spell? To appease the devil or a demon? To create a voodoo doll army that controls humans? And then he what, just dies??? Just like that, the film lost me. I already had a notion of where this film was going when she first visited her mother, but I didn't know it was going to be that predictable. The only thing I didn't see coming was the dolls, but even that isn't the most inventive plot device ever created.
Here's another point to be made, the film is just not scary. Tense, yup. Thrilling even, sure, in parts. But scary? Not one bit. I think Hollwood just has the idea that satanism is just a general public fear so it's automatically scary to the viewer. It's not to me when it's almost every single horror movie's focus nowadays. It's always the devil, or some demon, or a ghost. It's kinda getting boring now.
Overall, I don't think the film is a bad movie, but I didn't think it was a good one either. Fantastic acting and amazing direction doesn't make an entire film flourish. The writing has to be there too and this one just missed the mark for me. Maybe I'll watch it again and have a different opinion on it later, but for now, it remains middle of the road for me.
2.5 satanist doll conspiracies out of 5.
Kinds of Kindness (2024)
Pretentious and pointless, might be this year's worst film
Coming hot off his Oscar wins with Poor Things, Yorgos Lanthimos comes at us with another towering film. Except this time, he has it all wrong.
The film is an anthology film made up of three seperate stories with seperate characters, all being played by the same cast for each story. I've seen this concept used before and enjoyed it but it did not work for me here. Not only do the stories feel random and disconnected, but the actors felt like they didn't know what to do with all of it. Instead of getting 3 different characters from Emma Stone, I feel like I got 3 performance of the same character. The only exception to this would be Jesse Plemons. He's the only actor in the film that actually transends his characters to make them feel seperated. However, it is not enough to save the film unfortunately.
The stories make no sense. None at all. They serve no purpose to anything, and none of them have any point to make beyond humans are cruel. This seems to be a running theme in Lanthimos' films. It worked for The Lobster, Poor Things, even Dogtooth had something to say that felt relatively important. I cannot say the same for any of the content of this film. It was utterly pointless.
Also, was this not supposed to be a comedy? Even for a black comedy, none of what was shown here was funny, nor was it presented in a comical fashion. Not even in a cynical way. I did not laugh once, and neither did anybody in my theater. It was a major let down. It felt like Yorgos was trying to make it funny, but the situations were just soooo bleak from the get go that nothing funny could be made from it. Just a shame.
Overall, this film was extremely underbaked and underperformed. It felt hobbled together for the most part. Definitely a side project, and you can tell it from the attention to detail in this vs Poor Things. The production of this suffered from being part of a back to back project. I'm honestly surprised they released this in theaters. This should've gone straight to Hulu or Netflix. I don't recommend it, at all.
½ windshield out of 5.
In a Violent Nature (2024)
Interesting slasher ruins it's own premise by dropping it in the last act
I struggled with this film. On one hand, you have a competently made film with an interesting take on the slasher subgenre. On the other, you're basically watching someone walk through the woods for 80 mins with burst of violence in between.
Now, if you can put yourself into the correct mindset, I found the walking to be quite suspenseful because you're never really too sure how the situations are going to go down. Not for everyone but it almost allows your mind to run wild with ideas.
However, the film has a lot of missed ideas too. There was a lot they could have done with this storyline, but they didn't. Whether this was due to the budget, or the inability of the filmmakers to see past the premise, I have no idea, but it always kind of feels like it could be much more than what it was.
The gore scenes are handled well enough. The most graphic of which, and most long drawn out kill of the film, the one involving a wood splitter, is so uncharactristic of a slasher film, it just didn't fit. Felt like it a torture scene, not a kill. Wasn't a fan of it tbh.
I also gotta say, the film was a solid 7-8/10 and the ending drops the entire film down to a 5/10. We take the last 15 mins or so and stop following the killer for no apparent reason and start following the final girl, she get's saved in a moment that makes you rethink about her newfound safety and then it just ends???? What???? How lame, and thanks to the filmmakers for explaining nothing. I would've rather watched the killer grab the necklace and see him lay back down to rest. Would've been more a climax than what we got.
Coming back to the monologue, I genuinely thought that was going to be a relative of his and she was going to bring her back to him. But no, nothing of interest happens. The film just ends. Again, a major reason why I had to drop the films rating down a couple stars.
Overall, it could wait for Shudder. Was not a necessary film to see in theaters. The kill/gore scenes are not good enough to make the trip and the resolution left me yawning.
2.5 wood splitters out of 5.
I.S.S. (2023)
Why is it always the Russians who are portrayed as evil?
I had extremely mixed feelings about this film.
On one side of things, you have some interesting cinematography, some decent acting from the cast, great set design and some very tense moments that pay off fairly well.
On the other side, we have some pretty horrid CGI, a story that makes no sense (if this war is going on, I doubt anyone on the ground would be thinking about the I. S. S., let alone being able to contact them), one dimensional characters, a writer who knows very little about actual science or what goes on in the actual I. S. S., and some very shoddy direction at times.
Instead of making this film about a power struggle, it would have made more sense to have the crew working together to stay alive amidst the limited rations and materials they had to work with and created the tension from there. Instead, we get the old Russians vs Americans game that we've seen in a ton of other movies in the past. Talk about a missed opportunity here.
There's other completely moronic things this film does that lowered the score even more. It was going to get 2 stars, that is until the man who went flying into space is suddenly still alive and climbing on the space station, and then saved, but within 5 minutes of his return, he's offed. Pointless, and a total waste of the audience's time.
Overall, I couldn't recommend it. If you need to see it, see it on a streaming service. Don't pay for a subpar experience like this. Does it have it's moments? Yes, but they are too few and far between to make the film count. And the premise is one of the most dumb I've seen in years.
1.5 space walks out of 5.
Mean Girls (2024)
Though it does not hit the highs of the original, this Mean Girls is a spirited tribute
There is a lot to love here. The music, the glamour and, of course, the drama of high school. However, it's missing some key ingredients that made the original the instant classic that it is. It is not as witty as it thinks it is and it's nearly lost all of the relatability of it's characters in it's high gloss presentation.
Acting wise, the cast ate up every scene and performance. The musical numbers were pitch perfect. The standouts being Aulii Cravalho as Janis. Her voice was perfect for those scenes connecting the films plotline fairly seamlessly. Also, Reneé Rapp as Regina was brilliant casting. Her voice is amazing, particularly in the number at the halloween party. Just wow!
As far as the plot goes, there are some jokes and plotlines that are missing. Perhaps due to the times, some of the jokes were not exactly "pc". I felt a couple were sorely missed, but it did not mar the production as a whole thankfully. There were some things the film tries to do from the original that kind of fell flat as well. It's like telling the same joke twice to the same audience, it just doesn't hit as hard the second time.
Overall, I enjoyed it. It was a different version from the original, but just like The Color Purple, it's kind of meant to be. There are some cameos, including a very standout one towards the end that fans of the original will cheer at! If you're into it or a fan of the original, I say go see it. You won't be mad that you did.
3.5 mean girls out of 5.
Night Swim (2024)
As generic as they come, Night Swim is a bore
If you came to Night Swim thinking you were going to see an original film filled with original ideas, oh boy, brace yourself because this film uses almost every PG-13 horror movie trope that ever existed.
Big spooky house with haunted basement, closet, or in this case, swimming pool? Check.
Dumb family that makes dumb decisions even though they clearly know what is going on? Check.
Silly jump scares are are the farthest thing from scary? Check.
A story that has zero impact because you've seen the jist of it in at least 1000 other films? Check.
The only decent thing about this film was the acting. The cast tries to elevate the material but are constantly hampered by a production that refuses to dare itself. Felt bad for em.
Overall, 5 dollar bin material at Walmart. Don't bother, it's really not a good movie.
1 drowned child out of 5.
The Color Purple (2023)
A little overstuffed, but overall an excellent rendition of the broadway musical
A beautifully shot and performed production, The Color Purple is a clear winner.
The acting here is done with sensitivity and class. Fantasia is brilliant as the lead and has a voice that sores high. The supporting cast also does a fantastic job with the musical numbers, most notably Danielle Brooks. Her performance both broke my heart and put it all back together again.
The story follows the original almost note for note, but takes more from the musical production than the Spielberg classic. All in all, a very well done adaptation that feels faithful to both sources. My only complaint with the film is that it feels just about 1 or 2 songs too long. Maybe 1 of the many storylines happening could've been put on the back burner and only glanced at.
The film also features some very creative direction and cinematography. The sweeping camera motions and the way the story is also told through it's imagery made for a spellbinding watch.
Overall, an excellent version of one of the most sensitive and empowering stories of all time. It does feel like there is a little too much going on towards the end, but even with it's flaws, I could not recommend it more!
4 reunions out of 5.
Poor Things (2023)
One of the most strange films I have ever seen, and I loved it!
Where to begin with this one....
First off, the performances presented here are top of their class. Absolutely phenomenal! In a film with characters as strange as these, you need a strong cast and every player here was up to the task and more! Just brilliant!
Secondly, the story is insane. I mean padded room, straight jacket type of insane. When reading the synopsis, I was thinking about how wild of a concept it was and did not think they could pull off such an audacious plot. However, Yorgos and company had a specific vision for this film and it shows in the amount of detail in both the screenplay and the visionary artistic decisions. I can say, they completely nailed it!
Thirdly, exploring the human condition through sexuality, in all emotional forms, has been done before. Though, never quite like this. It was refreshing to see it through the eyes of someone reborn and ready for everything life had to throw her, as opposed to the usual timid youthful eyes.
Lastly, the cinematography is wonderfully done. Mixing between black and white to full color, with wild scenery and beautifully detailed architecture. Sometimes the film felt like a dream captured within a painting. It was quite beautiful.
Overall, I would highly recommend it. I don't think it will be everyone's cup of tea. It is very artsy, very sexually uncomfortable, and very strange. However, if you enjoy great storytelling and truly original visions on film, better see this on the big screen.
4.5 surgerys out of 5.
Kimitachi wa dô ikiru ka (2023)
This film, unfortunately, doesn't hold a candle to the OG Ghibli films
I don't know if it's because Miyazaki is getting old and has lost his magic, or if it was shortened for commercial audiences, but something felt completely missing.
The sense of wonder you get from a Miyazaki film seems to be void here. There are sparks of it here and there, and the film is not without it's quirks that make a Ghibli film so great. However, it all feels like a "lite" version of what has come before. Plot points get tangled and forgotten about, some things feel like an afterthought, and it all just kinda feels a bit too familiar.
I will say that I am happy to see such beautifully realized animation back on the big screen. Nobody does japanese animation quite as good as Ghibli does it. I was in awe seeing it on the IMAX, which was the best way to view it. You could see the dedication and detail that went into the artwork and appreciate it even more.
After The Wind Rises, I was convinced Miyazaki would never make another film. I almost wished he hadn't. This film feels like a filmmaker who has already said everything he has to say. Tired and worn out. If it wasn't for the exquisite artwork throughout, I would've rated it lower.
2.5 herons out of 5.
Silent Night (2023)
No dialog absolutely ruins this film, among other things
I respect John Woo's decision to try to make a film with no dialog and the story to be expressed through his imagery rather than a script. The problem is, however, that his imagery is not strong enough to hold my attention for as long as the film demanded, and the film's plot was also paper thin.
A lot of scenes come off as awkward, and unnatural because the characters should be talking, but for some inexplicable reason are not. I was starting to wonder if I had missed a scene where everybody gets shot in the neck, and not just the main character? It was ridiculous! Even when the wife is grieving with him and he goes all insane, throwing things and raging, she just stares at him and says nothing. Same with Kid Cudi's character. A lot of his screentime is just him staring at some photos or into a room without saying anything. Made the film almost unbearable to watch.
The plot itself was ripped right out of Death Sentence, which was also a ripoff of Death Wish. I'm thinking Hollywood needs either better ideas, or better filmmakers. I don't mind a reused idea, but reuse it with purpose, to expand or better the previous product. Neither happened here.
I also want to touch on how cheap the film looked. I'm not sure what the budget was, but surely they could have done better than this. The vast majority of the film is shot frenetically, so it's hard to see the action most of the time. It's also shot in some pretty low light, also making it difficult to see anything. The cinematography is what should draw people into this movie, considering that it probably didn't even have a script, and they couldn't even pull that off.
Overall, this film is a mess and a shame. Such a simple premise and you make one of the most boring and irritating action films I think I've ever seen. I'm going to rewatch Face/Off to make me forget this film ever happened.
0.5 shots in the neck out of 5.
It's a Wonderful Knife (2023)
Equally good and bad in most respects
It's A Wonderful Knife has such a ring to it, I just had to see it. Now was it a good or bad film, I'm still not completely sure on either end of that spectrum.
On one hand, we have a horror great, Katharine Isabelle, and a handful of cast members that try their hardest to convey their characters in a way that feels festive and lighthearted. On the other hand, we have some extremely cheesy writing and a tone flip flops around like a fish gasping for air.
Some of the films choices made zero real world sense and it felt like those choices were just there to propel the film forward, and propel forward it did. The runtime is short and brisk, at just under 90 mins, which did not give the film room to focus on any particular thing except poor Winnie and her mission. There were a few things I wish they had spent more time on and some things I wished were missing from the film entirely.
Overall, you could do better and you could do worse. Although there was some pretty shotty directing and writing, the film was still entertaining and short enough to get through without too much strain on the audience. I will say, it was not necessary to see in theaters. I may have had more fun with this film watching it on TV as opposed to the big theatrical experience.
2.5 Christmas' out of 5.
Saw X (2023)
Not As Good As The First 3, But Better Than All The Rest
I'm not going to lie, I was very apprehensive about seeing this one. However, any doubts I had were quickly dashed away once the story was set and the games began. I was glued to the screen and ready for anything this film had to throw at me, body parts and all.
It was also refreshing to see a Saw film that actually takes itself relatively seriously. The plotline, the acting, the gory torture scenes, even the direction, were all right in line with the first trilogy. This is the first time in over a decade that I felt like the filmmakers actually cared about presenting a well thought out storyline that included John Kramer (Jigsaw) and Amanda Young.
Speaking of the storyline, this is a particularly personal one for the Jigsaw killer. The idea that these people are doing what they're doing makes his psuedo-revenge all the more, for lack of a better word, "sweet" to watch. These people deserved the situation they found themselves in and, in true Saw fashion, the chance for redemption. Makes for some compelling moments, especially the moral conversations between John and Amanda and what their purpose is and isn't. Interesting stuff to say the least.
The torture scenes in this installment are perfect. After being completely let down by Spiral and Jigsaw in that regard, this was a breath of fresh air. Where Spiral and Jigsaw failed was indeed in the torture sequences. They were too tame and the ideas were too farfetched. Not saying this one isn't as farfetched, there is no way someone cutting their own leg off and not going into shock, but there's a certain quality to it all that makes you forget about how little this would occur in real life and, for me at least, that's all I could ask for.
I do have some complaints about the film that made me give it a 4 instead of a 5 out of 5. Either Shawnee Smith has gotten some seriously bad cosmetic work done on her face since the last time I saw her or she has the worst makeup artist in the world. If this is supposed to take place between the first and second installments, then she looks nothing like herself from the film. She is an amazing actress and does fantastically in the role, it was a joy to watch her play Amanda again, but her look just doesn't fit the timeline. I know that people age, but it really did take me out of the film when she's first introduced. It's quite jarring to say the least.
My other complaint is the very end of the film. Not the twist itself, because that was brilliant in my opinion. I almost stood up and cheered. No worries, I will not spoil it for you, but there is no resolution for a certain character. We have no idea what happened with them or where they went, the game just kinda ends. They could have done a bit more to tie things up, but the end credit sequence almost makes up for it by showing us a beloved (in a hate you kind of way) character and gives hope for at least one more sequel. After this one, I gotta say I crave more. I would like just one more Saw film to tie up the storyline from Jigsaw. I would buy a ticket and plant my behind in the seat on day one!
Overall, way better than I expected. I honestly expected complete garbage, in line with entries 4-9. The trailers made the movie look a lot more artificial than it was, and I'm very satisfied that the film was more like the first three installments than the others. If you're a fan of the Saw series, you will enjoy yourself. Now, I don't think this film is going to win over anybody who didn't enjoy the films in the first place, but if you've seen entries 1-3, it's practically a must watch.
4 dismemberments out of 5.
Expend4bles (2023)
I walked out halfway through this absolute mess of an action flick...
This movie is so tedious and stupid, I couldn't take anymore and ended up walking out. The action is bad, the acting is bad, the CGI is atrocious, the direction is limp, the story is scattershot and lacking any sense. This has got to be Sylvester Stallone's worst film so far.
Even the unrelenting violence wasn't enough to keep me interested. Yes, there is plenty of violence, blood sprays and some gore thrown in all over the film. Does any of it make an impact though? No, not one bit. Could care less that they just decapitated a guy with a lightpost, or that the bad guy keeps stabbing everyone with his pointy sticks. Probably because it's all stuff I have seen before in much better flicks than this.
Also, Megan Fox is an abysmal actress. Anytime she is on screen, I was hoping she was the next one to die. I didn't finish the film, nor will I, but I geniunely hope she bites the dust by the end. Not saying anyone else was any better. The only actors here who seemed to care they were in this film were Jason Statham and Iko Uwais. Worst of all is Iko Uwais is an excellent Indonesian actor who probably doesn't know English very well, therefore would have no idea that the lines he's being force fed are some of the worst/corniest lines written for a villian in quite a long time.
Overall, an abysmal attempt at revitalizing a franchise that should have been buried after the first one. This is all ya got Sly? C'mon!!!
0 cgi explosions out of 5.
Outlaw Johnny Black (2023)
Unfortunately, Michael Jai White's charm was not enough to pull it off
Here is a movie that I struggled with. Michael Jai White is a talented actor and martial artist. One thing he is not is a talented writer or director, and it shows with this new film.
On one hand, you have some incredibly funny jokes that even had my small viewing audience busting a gut. Michael Jai White has a great sense of timing when it comes to his delivery and it works in the films favor.
On the other hand, the story is bloated, with about 2 storylines too many. It really bogged the film down and helped contribute to that extremely excessive runtime. Halfway through, I was hoping for the ending, but there was still over an hour of the film left to watch. I, at times, similarly with Black Dynamite. Although that production had much more going on than this film did, but still knew when to cut it and when to let it roll.
As far as his directing talents go, I was vastly more impressed in the first half of the film than I was for the last. It was almost like he gave up on trying to do anything artistic behind the camera and the film just became a strict point and shoot type of production.
The movie is also very racist toward native americans. The lack of respect shown to the culture is jarring, even when presented in a comedic format such as this. The only joke I could get behind was all of the native americans were played by anybody who was not actually native american and this was to parody that fact from the old spaghetti westerns. Very clever, Mr. White. But other than that, it was very racist and not very funny.
Overall, I enjoyed the film in parts. However, it was too long and feature some pretty relaxed racism towards native americans that I'm sure didn't connect in the way that Mr. White had intended. A pity because with some editing and a few tweaks to the screenplay, this could've been comedic gold. I really hope Black Dynamite 2 doesn't turn out like this one did.
2 outlaws out of 5.
The Retirement Plan (2023)
Great story, poor execution, which is perfect for a Nicolas Cage film
Nicolas Cage films are always a hit or a miss, his entire career actually. This is a film that without it's charming cast or it's neatly interwoven storyline would have been a total dumpster fire. Therefore making it a perfect Nicolas Cage film.
The acting ranges vastly from silly to serious, same goes for the films tone. It bounces between funny and dramatic in an instant and it's never sure which one to settle on. However, again with the films strange charm, it's all somehow inexplicably smoothed over in the end.
Overall, I'm surprised I enjoyed it. Most of the film feels like a made for tv special but for some strange reason, I kept wanting to watch til the very end. Am I glad I did? I'm not sure yet, but I do know it was an entertaining way to waste an afternoon.
3 flash drives out of 5.
Zombie Town (2023)
Who the hell was this film made for???
Seriously, it was too childish for adults, yet too adult for children. It can't even decide what kind of film it even wants to be. One moment it's taking the story seriously enough to be a charming cohesive film and the next it's complete bereft of any smarts and is cringe to the max. It was baaaad. If it wasn't for those charming moments, there would have been nothing to save this film from being one of the worst ever made.
Next, lets talk about the Goosebumps vibes this film liberally uses to mask it's awfulness. I get that R L Stine created this story, but you either go full on Goosebumps and make it completely kid friendly without the swearing and blood, or ditch that all together. Felt like a cheap knock off in the end, and further confused me as to why this film exists.
I'm not even going to waste my time complaining about the fact that everybody who's supposed to be a teenager looks like they're in their 40s, including the actual teenagers. Embarrassing.
My last comments on this film will be that it is far too long. This honestly would've worked better as a special Goosebumps tv movie on Hulu or something like that. Not that it would make it anything above average, but easier to swallow than what we got. Literally, when I heard the main character say "Let's go back to the bike shop!" I almost shouted "WHAT FOR, TO WASTE MORE OF OUR TIME?!?!" at the screen.
Overall, I couldn't recommend this one. Even for those looking for a nostalgic trip into the Goosebumps days, it's still terrible. This film makes even the worst episodes look like Oscars material.
½ a simple zombie out of 5.
Bottoms (2023)
A hilariously irreverent approach to growing up a loser
This film is all over the place. It's like someone took one of those romantic teen comedies and turned it upside down and spit on it while calling it trash and a wh*re. It was indeed that wild of a ride. Sometimes it falls a little too hard into parody mode but it also knows when to snap back into reality and make you feel something towards the characters.
The acting here is all really great stuff, especially from the two leads. Their dialouge feels natural to the characters and the actresses deliver it flawlessly!
One issue with the film is I felt like it could have gone just a bit further to shock the audience. Not that there isn't an abudance of gross out or shocking moments, it's just most of them felt tame in the moment.
There's also the issue of the fact that not only would all of these girls be in major trouble for everything that occurs in the film, but they would also be in prison for multiple murders. I know it's just a movie, and the reality in this one is very far away from ours, but there is a point where you have to say "c'mon, really?"
Overall, I recommend it. Even though it's very based in it's own fantasy world, it's a very involving one that is sure to entertain you with it's wacky antics and hilarious consequences for our team of female badasses!
3.5 bottoms out of 5.
The Equalizer 3 (2023)
A surprisingly solid final entry in The Equalizer trilogy
It's not very often you see a second sequel in a film franchise and it actually turns out to be a very good movie. In fact, most of the time, they end up being some of the worst. Thankfully, this new entry by series director Antoine Fuqua and star Denzel Washington is a fantastic example of how to do a sequel right.
I will say the film is not perfect. There are a few storylines that don't quite add up to anything, like Denzel's character having flashbacks of his murders and how bereft and awful it makes him feel. Something thay could have and maybe should have been explored just a bit more. However, that is ok because the film swiftly picks itself up and in the days where most films like this are over 2 hours long, this one keeps it's pace and doesn't overstay it's welcome. Good choice on the writers and directors part.
The acting throughout the film ranged from good to fantastic. It seemed everyone was pretty much on point here as far as what their characters needed and how to display that to the audience. It was also lovely to see Dakota Fanning and Denzel Washington back together. I would love to see them work together in other films because they have fantastic on-screen chemistry.
Overall, one of the best sequels to a film I've seen in a long time. Although, not an entirely necessary one, but the story and acting is good enough to justify it's existence. Plus, can you really go wrong with Denzel?
4 italian mobsters out of 5.
Climax (2018)
One of the only films to give me genuine anxiety
If you do not like dancing, you will not like this film.
If you do not like experimental editing, you will not like this film.
If you are expecting a straight up horror film, you will not like this film.
If you came in expecting anything but a Gaspard Noe films, you will not like this film.
This film is really one of a kind and that's what makes it special. The dancing, the energy, the orgy of insanity that intensifies to a genuine peak of an ending. I loved every minute of it. Everybody involved in this film believes in it, and you can tell. Amidst all the depraved behaviour, there is a beating heart in there waiting to be devoured by us, the audience.
Again, loved this film when it came out and still love it today!