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Boy Kills World (2023)

Fell Way Short of Even Low Expectations

Everything except the boy's eventual physique once grown up fell quite short. I guess a producer/director could approach male olympic gymnasts and present them with a movie role opportunity and pretty much come out with a film action star.

But yeah, that's about the extent of what was good about this film.

The main character's video-game voice was so bad that for the first 20 minutes I couldn't tell if all the character's voices were dubbed poorly too. It was just an unnessecary distraction where the humor of it played out within minutes and you were left for the lengthy rest being mildly annoyed by it.

Then there was the wise "sage" 6 or 7 year old sister - I sure tire of this twisted take on reality placing an adult maturity and rolling eyes understanding inside of a female child. Ironic in some way that the spirit form of this girl keeps getting her main character brother doing stupid things and nearly getting killed. All of that dropped this movie's rating further for me. Actually this aspect was a bigger detraction than the dubbed voice of the brother.

The training and fighting wasn't too bad, though again the film took on too much of a comedic edge at times parodying other plots of films such as The Hunger Games and similar apocalyptic offerings. I felt for such gore throughout, the original killing of the main character's mom and sister was so PGish in its portrayal that the boy's aim to kill the leader and whoever else didn't resonate like it could have if shown less restrained.

I'd like to rate this film a little higher but it doesn't deserve it honestly.

Immaculate (2024)

Strong start through middle, failing final third

Another apt review title I could have used would have been: "Too much power given to young Cecilia."

The setting and costumes were a 10/10. The cathedral and nunnery flawlessly exquisite. The mood was full of mystery and foreboding. There was lots to like in this film.

But the story fell apart about half to two-thirds of the way through the telling.

Firstly, Cecilia was pious and young - the perfect mix for the religious scientist's plan. She was not like the rebellious peer/nun who found her way into Cecilia's life. That particular nun with a background of being a sex worker wasn't at the nunnery for the passionately moral/ pious reasons that Cecilia was.

This was where the sense of the story quickly failed.

I feel sure that the pious and moral encapsulation that was Cecilia would submit to "her calling." Why wouldn't she? Was she an expert in the ancient texts? No. But she surely would have known about the immaculate conception long before whole-heartedly swearing sombre vows; perfect in relative malleable ignorance. I think, rather, that she would have seen the necessity of her fellow-nun's tongue being cut off (though off-putting) while being swept up with her new highly honored place amongst the nuns.

Instead Cecilia somehow embraced (without adequate reason) an opposite mindset, suddenly in fact. To the extent that she would violently slaughter those about her (including the head nun who by all accounts had dealt with her nicely enough), escape, and then smash her newborn child to death with a boulder. The aforementioned bloodbath all after her water breaking- what remarkable energy!

Again, the movie started very well. The nun killing herself by jumping to her death was horrific and stunning. The elder nuns and.those with red masks were creepy if not completely scary. But really the story went sideways, sadly, at about the point of the jumping suicide.

I have to give Immaculate a low score. It played out very unbelievably (even after accepting the premise of the plot itself).

Pearl (2022)

A stellar prequel to X, well done horror

I almost rated Pearl a 9/10 but I didn't quite like it as much as X though so I dropped it a point. Maybe it should have been an 8.5/10.

As another rater mentioned, I didn't really feel the need to have Pearl's back-story fleshed out; it was rather well alluded to in X. But as good as X was I can understand franchising this story and developing it further - I will undoubtedly see Maxine as well when it comes out.

I did feel the psychosis that developed was at times confusing (the viewer feeling sympathy with Pearl much of the first half of.the film) and maybe even forced, but I think it was fleshed out more clearly in Pearl's heartfelt monologue to her friend at the kitchen table near the end.

This film had elements similar to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre more than X perhaps, with the scene of her dead parents at the kitchen table along with the rotting pig capturing a horrific nightmare.

I would have liked, however, that the relationship of Pearl with Howard after his homecoming was clarified a little more. As in how did he reconcile himself to cleaning up the farmhouse and living with Pearl the rest of his years (concluding in the film X). Perhaps there will be a fourth film after Maxine to connect the dots, though again I'm not sure it's a desirable undertaking. Hey maybe his family got involved and also become alligator food; but I digress.

The camera quality and the scene/period-piece filming was authentic, excellent.

A well done film with excellent acting yet again by Mia Goth in particular, but really all of the cast performed well. And yes, Ti West yet again delivered another terrifically made horror film.

X (2022)

Scary top-notch horror

This was a very well done horror that although may be billed as a slasher flick has a lot more going for it than that.

It's unfortunate in a way that the story seems to revolve around the making of a 70s porn movie. Assumed gratuitous skin and sex doesn't in fact abound (though there is indeed some). But the assumption of."X" being an exploitive early horror throwback taints what actually unfolds.

The antagonists are unique and visceral. The horror gruesome and terror-inducing. The pacing really well done allowing for the unexpected with realistic twists and turns.

Mia Goth and the rest of the cast were fantastic.

All in all, "X" is a powerhouse, another triumph for Ti West. I haven't seen the later released prequel "Pearl" but I will I'm sure.

Suspiria (2018)

A similar feel to the original, while being unique in delivery

I quite liked this version of Suspiria albeit for perhaps a couple of things (which I'll get to).

The cast was excellent and the unique period feel was intact. An odd, mysterious ballet school home to witches and secrets and by the time you get to the end, copious buckets of blood.

I'm not sure the initial dancer death was utterly what it set out to be but I'll give it a pass. I think I'd rather have seen an attempt at re-imagining the razor wire scene from the original, but again I guess there was uniqueness in trying something new.

And then the triumphant finale with all its gruesome bluster. Very imaginative, unexpected, twisted and frankly top notch! I was not prepared but I was impressed.

My one disappointment was the decision to have Tilda Swinton play the part of the old male doctor. Clearly there was an attempt at something here (I have my varied ideas) but I think an honest viewer would agree that it came across as sort of a side-project almost. I thought something wasn't quite right sounding with the voice and even overall way he carried himself. When I found out that Tilda played him it all made sense. This side-project detracted from the film for me.

Regardless, still a formidable recreation of a classic horror film. Well worth the watch.

Pet Sematary: Bloodlines (2023)

Started off Strong, faltered a little in the second half

The cast was solid and probably the best part of the film.

The initial dog on the road scene was believable and the dog looked excellent, playing the part perfectly. I felt the pacing was great early on with some slow-building tension. Duchovny was effective in the role he played along with his veteran son Timmy.

I would have liked the creepiness of Timmy looking out a window of the farmhouse through dirty windows and flies buzzing to have been followed through. That brief moment (mostly implied) was stellar, but then it cut away and like much of the rest of the film, the slow build and ambience of foreboding and evil sort of dissipated into a series of slightly sloppy horror scenes and story.

Overall pretty decent, I just wish there had been better follow-through from the first quarter to third of the film which I found rather riveting and scary.

The Ritual (2017)

Pretty good overall

Honestly, this was a pretty good horror from start to finish.

As mentioned by the previous 8/10 rater, there were a few over-used tropes. I'd add to their list the frequent flash-backs to tragedy, which, strangely to me were unnessecary, a little forced and took away from the believability and flow of the story. I really don't get why they were necessary except that maybe the forest monster could see the guilt hell that the one hiker was experiencing thus thinking he'd bow down and worship it as a sort of redemptive act.

Nonetheless, the story had lots of intrigue (while being predictable at times) along with unique takes of haunted houses, occult pracitcioners and ultimately evil. The monster was well done as were the dead in the cabin loft of the final scenes.

Scary and worth a viewing.

Talk to Me (2022)

Pretty close to a 10/10, Very Well Done Horror

I watched this at the suggestion of another avid horror-watcher and I have to admit it delivered.

And yet, as usual, this genre is plagued by the seldom-horror-watchers and or never-horror-watchers who don't know how to rate horror films. Sigh.

Honestly, they don't get much better than Talk to Me.

Creepy, well-acted, decently-filmed and the real effects were excellent. On top of all of that, I felt the film went by relatively fast and so staying engaged to watch to the end wasn't difficult. Finally, unlike most horror movies, the ending was decently satisfying without being overly neat and tidy (a rare feat for this genre).

If I had a couple of critiques, they'd be that the camera was a little too close to the actors/actresses for lengthy periods so that it was a little too invasive and tainted some of the enjoyment a tiny bit (to me anyway). The second tid-bit would be that I'd have liked to have seen more of the hand "invitees" as they were phenomenally created and genuinely terrifying. Maybe the imagination and quality was too difficult to reproduce over and over.

Anyway, as I didn't want to do spoilers, I'll just leave it at that.

Deadstream (2022)

Hilarious, suspenseful and entertaining!

I liked it so much that I can't give it less than a 9.

Really funny, original, fairly scary at times, and for a limited budget (maybe not necessary to mention), really well done.

The opening clips of Shawn's previous stream episodes gets this film going on the right foot. Right away I was laughing and thinking "who is this goof?" - in a good way.

The "protecting myself from myself" moments had me rolling.

The location/set/haunted mansion was great, it must have taken some time finding a place like that with enough old mementos to support a story like this.

And overall the creaturea/monsters/demons were really well done.

Definitely worth a watch if you're prepared for humor and something that's not an overproduced big budget horror.

Hate to Love: Nickelback (2023)

Loved it!

Some nerd comic who no one thought was very funny thought he'd start a meme-like commentary pooping on this band. No one still cares about that dummie while Nickelback is still rocking!

Nickelback is one of the greatest bands of all time - period. Just like the sun comes up and goes down its a fact.

I think one of the more powerful segments of this documentary was when there were a series of clips of online folk slagging the band only to cut whole-heartedly into singing one of their songs. They're Canadian pop culture, American pop culture, small town country life, a bit of country a bit of grunge and a bit of metal. A very human band too, three of which grew up together from the start and the last member's been with them for 18 yrs.

Great documentary, I highly enjoyed it and recommend it!

Star Trek: Amok Time (1967)

Captain Kirk Idiocy Exemplified

I mean if the ST reboots mocked one thing it was the supposed perfect blend of emotionallism and intuition that Captain Kirk possessed.

Was there a bigger swing and a miss than Kirk pressuring beyond capability of his ship's "biggest asset" (his words)? Spock over and over spells out the importance and then even a Vulcan's inability to convey importance and meaning and yet dumby McGee pushes onward. Sigh. I love Kirk and maybe moreso Shatner. But for the love of me banging my head against a wall, this portrayal of inexplicable stupidity and lack of stable leadership had me wringing my hands. It might have saved the first fifteen minutes if Kirk had said the immortal words of Michael Scott: "explain it to me like I'm five years old."

One of the poorer episodes in a magnificent television series.

Nefarious (2023)

Much better than expected

In one of my platform algorithms I stumbled upon the trailer for this film, then rabbit-trailed into learning about its making. I heard the crazy events that seemed intent on stimying its making and eventual release. But from all that I saw I still didn't know what to think, and I thought it might be too B level in its production value to be of any enjoyment or impact.

All in all, from the very beginning, this film came across as well filmed, acted and directed. I really have no complaints as I don't think there was any broad release, and any time I looked for it I couldn't find it - so my expectation was quite low.

Flannery was excellent and his performance reminded my of McAvoy's in Split (as was mentioned in another review). I too felt that the film was closer to a psychological thriller than horror, but then again I didn't know where the film was going exactly so did feel a foreboding familiar with the slotted genre.

And though I mentioned Flannery, I thought all of the actors performed convincingly from the doctor to the prison warden (a striking resemblance to Ed Harris).

Finally, the subject matter was deep and surprisingly touched on a lot more than expected in a manner that seemed to me more brazenly accurate than anticipated. No wonder it was suppressed some by those with power and influence to do so.

I lowered my rating by a star, but do think it's significantly better than the review average, particularly rotten tomatoes.

Glass Onion (2022)

Movies nowadays, like this one, lack the S word

Soul.

I found this film pretentious and lacking any real careful delivery of a good, lasting murder mystery. Mildly interesting, enough to get through, but by no means a worthwhile watch.

And what's with the disrupter aspect? Again, sort a general descriptor of the ugh reality we live in today. Edward Norton's speech on what a true disrupter was, which he said they all were, was a person who was willing to cross the line and take the whole system down. What? Other than an alarming prospect with a certain ideological bent, what did that have to do with this story? That they had come up with an energy replacement?

As others have said, Daniel Craig's accent was annoying. The film generally was annoying.

The Killer (2023)

Vapid, Vacuous, Unbelievable, Narcissistic, Pointless- Was this a Wes Anderson Film? Oh it wasn't, Oh well, who cares . . .

Unlikable . . . Did I say unbelievable? Painfully nonsensical. Pointless. And yes as said in the ranking title - utterly narcissistic.

Please stop. No more of this extravagant self-important time-wasting.

I believe the killer's statement at one point went like this: "I can't believe I'm living amongst the 'normies.'" I did quick search and couldn't find the exact wording. I bet even Alexa would rather watch paint dry.

That about sums up the arrogant milenialiast self-agrandizing meaninglessness. Oh, boring too.

I literally have no idea what this was supposed to be about except that it was about a killer? Character quota satisfied. Out.

Hobo with a Shotgun (2011)

Well done overall for what it was aiming for

I can't help wondering in rare films like these if all of the extras really knew what they were a part of, shocked when the final cut was released. I'm sure more than a few but I digress.

Though interesting for those with a very thick skin, Hobo With a Shotgun was a little too dark for high praise. With the right story and told the right way, dark and disgusting can add an invaluable dynamic. In this rendering it seemed that everyone and every scene was so morally corrupt (minus the shred of decency in the Hobo), that it detracted some from my overall enjoyment. From the excessive vulgar language to the deranged sadism of supposed functioning persons holding position in the dystopian city setting, worthwhile vibes were difficult to extract.

And yet after all the unsettling mayhem, I still give Hobo With a Shotgun a fairly high rating of 8/10. It was a grindhouse throwback and it delivered for what it set out to be.

Knock at the Cabin (2023)

Alright, I'd have alternated the ending

I wasn't a fan of some of the messaging of the film and it did have the millennial flare for the melodramatic.

But, accepting the narrative of what was happening for the reasons that they were happening, the film was fairly interesting. In fact I didn't see the first kill occurring when and how it did, but once that was out of the way, the film became unfortunately a little predictable.

As such I'm not sure I'd have written it the way it ended up with all of the messengers being eliminated (which was sort of expected after the first).

Most aggregious however, was that the wrong dad was killed in the end. It should have been the unbelieving one. Was there no epiphany for the survivor at any point after witnessing the succession of deaths and the catastrophe playing out in the news? And except for extending the film, perhaps the sacrificial dad would have took the hit sooner than later after seeing the light.

I thought the acting was quite good. And again it was an interesting watch, another decent film from Shyamalan.

The Infernal Machine (2022)

C'mon people, definitely better than the current rating; an original mystery

Not a perfect film but definitely a lot better than the ratings suggest.

Guy Pearce delivers; in this story, as a hardened recluse.

The story doesn't present itself right away but it doesn't take long for the viewer to find themselves immersed in a layered mystery.

Who is the central character played by Pearce and why has he shut himself away so interestingly? Why does he have such an edge, relying on alcohol and seclusion.

Unsolicited, unsettling fan mail leads to an intricate web of mystery filled with red herrings, danger and intrigue.

Though the plot becomes slightly convoluted and at times hard to follow (even unbelievable), one does give it a plausibility pass as the tale is attached to a tragic historical shooting event.

Interesting and well worth a watch if one can handle some language, substance abuse and scenes of graphic violence.

Smile (2022)

Better than expected, gorier, more imaginative than the average mainstream horror fare

I was debating between a 7 and 8 and probably would give Smile a 7.5 . . . I just can't quite rate it an 8 so in this case I rounded down.

The characters (starting with the therapist and her fiancee) were probably the most annoying part of the film for me. Even the therapists' department director (or whatever he was) came across a little too stereotypical. The biggest weakness with the characters as they were written was their inability to communicate well (or almost at all). Had the therapist started communicating to her fiancee the supernatural aspects of what she was experiencing in thought-through snippets rather than in garbled hysterics, things could have been managed far more effectively from the outset. Too many times I see acting out stereotypes rather than realistic roles/characters which unfortunately happened in Smile. Too (as others have mentioned), a basic understanding of first aid would have helped many of the characters starting with the therapist (which would be expected of them in their vocations).

To round out the flaws, there was some repetitiveness in the scenes and I'm not sure the creepy smile was always that terrifying; I suppose it was unique enough so I'll give it a pass.

On the positive and to why I gave Smile an above average score.

First, the filming/cinematography was excellent.

Next, the directing didn't hold back from goryness (something generic horror offerings "pump the brakes on").

And there was actually a creature/monster (2 even), which I give full props to (despite the difficulty in pulling off the feat with perfection). Real effects are always appreciated amongst us horror buffs, and Smile had a decent mix, mostly real even.

Finally, there were some imaginative, effective jump scares (along with a few that were predictable). Overall there were enough fear-inducing moments (combined with the aforementioned positives) to give this film a thumbs up.

Wrong Turn (2003)

I Don't know what the low raters were expecting; Wrong Turn is one of the best horror movies ever made!

Seriously, I find myself thinking what were the poo-pooers expecting?

Actually accept the setting and characters of this film and "enter into it." It works once you realize that this is a fictitious account that is unique and terrifying (oh yes). It's clearly in the horror/slasher-thriller genre; did the film poster indicate otherwise? As such, the low reviewers are submitting ridiculous reviews for this film in my opinion.

The acting and characters of Wrong Turn were terrific, actually above average for this genre which is typically portrayed by poorly played annoying stereotypes. And hey, several of the actors/actresses are recognizable. The inbred, genetically deformed cast were very believably created, wonderfully unique (especially the skinny fellow with the freaky laugh), AND they were terrifying.

The plot was fairly standard in a way, but at the same time the flow and events of the cat-and-mouse chases had interesting and creative aspects that kept me tensely entertained from start to finish!

One of the best horror films ever made, particularly of the sub-genre of slasher and/or cannibal horror films. Definitely in the top 5 to 10 from the '90s and early 2000s entries (horror sub-genre inclusive).

Suspiria (1977)

Better than I remember; the last 20 min increased my rating

This is yet another film that I completely, totally forgot that there was a 10 bell payoff in the end. I don't know how I remembered it differently.

To be honest I remembered the majority of the frightening scenes from the first hour and a bit. I was thinking that I'd end up giving this film around a 7/10 instead of the 9 that I gave it due to somewhat mediocre acting and some of the effects weren't terrific: the blood looked a little too much like red paint, the razor wire in the room (while still a shocking and frightening scene) was in focus too long so that the viewer could quite easily see there were no razor barbs on the wire, etc.

Again, I don't remember how I forgot the ending and that indeed the viewer does get to see the old queen witch, which was terrifying. And just before that the raised body of the deceased dancer who died in the razor wire room coming to life was a scary inclusion.

All in all this film was much better on its revisit 25 years later; and amazing too that a rating can rise two points due to the last twenty minutes.

Definitely worth the watch and a stalwart in horror cinema history.

The Hills Have Eyes (1977)

Pretty amazing in 2023, holds up well!

I actually think it's a bit unfair to this film that I watched and reviewed The Texas Chainsaw Massacre just before (as I consider TTCM a classic horror masterpiece).

Having seen the 2000's The Hills Have Eyes films (which I quite liked, thinking they were decently disturbing and scary) I wasn't sure what to expect from the 1977 original.

That all said, I have to give the original it's fair due. Again for all the poorly made horrors in the 1960s and 70s, I thought this one held up surprisingly well -.better than expected.

Overall good acting. Even from the get-go with the old-timer dad who owned the gas station.

It wasn't a perfect film, but again I'd say better than average or fair for this era of film. Maybe if falls closer to 7 out of 10, but I think the overall rating here is slightly low so it gets an 8 from me.

The Office: Phyllis' Wedding (2007)

The only The Office episode I didn't like; difficult to watch

This show was near perfection. Nearly every episode is a 10/10 to me, maybe the odd 9/10. The show as a whole a 100/10.

But this was the one episode I just couldn't get behind.

Michael's incessant need to be in the limelight and all the other ways of statng this character flaw wasn't funny in this case.

In a believability sense I'm pretty sure he'd have been locked in the broom closet at best, KOd and sent home in someone's trunk at worst.

Though the actress put up with jabs at her appearance throughout and in a couple of instances it was mildly funny, this episode just went too far over its entirety given that it was Phyllis' wedding day.

I'm probably exaggerating the disrespect, but it is the one episode I skip over now that I've seen it despite a few laughs. Just a poor entry into the greatest TV series of all time.

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)

Makes the other Slasher Films of the late 70s and 80s Pale

I literally can't believe I've seen this at least once before. I seem to have remembered very little, maybe 3 or 4 scenes. That said it was almost 30 years ago - the other time was possibly viewed through mostly closed eyes. But I digress.

I was shocked this time around how extremely well The Texas Chainsaw Massacre holds up to this day. What I thought might be thin effects, set and scene; the opposite in fact is the case. Every single thing about this film is spectacular; the horror raw, real, terrifying.

About the only thing that got a little annoying was the screaming, but in the same breath as saying that, it was also realistic- the actress that survived sounded like she was practically losing her mind.

I didn't recall at all how creepy the ma and pa were, and didn't remember that pa somehow was still alive under all the rot and corpse-like body. Just crazy. The whole nut-house was spectacular, each character tops.

As if it needs saying, not for the faint of heart. Further to this, my high ranking isn't due to loving the content per se. But it's about content effectiveness and delivery and this film told a story to the max. As others have said there shouldn't have been remakes (having seen each one).

Just wow wow wow.

The Haunting of Hill House (2018)

Way over-rated, quite annoying, but not horrible

A mini-series where everyone is a self-absorbed narcissistic victim . . . Except, ironically (because he is the most attacked throughout the show), the oldest surviving child of the hill house subject family.

There were some incredibly ridiculous things in this series (I suppose of the genre generally). Like:

• the youngest daughter keeps having night terrors claiming to see ghosts in her room. And yet every night she goes to bed in the same room, same bed, lights out as normal. The rest of the family experiences haunting too, yet they all go to bed night after night with all the lights out in this clearly haunted mansion.

• piggy-backing onto the above, the youngest daughter has her worst experience with a ghost and what do the parents do? They take her out of her bedroom and have her sleep on a couch in a huge room of the mansion with eerie vaulted ceilings and whatever else. Of course turn out the lights and wait for her to fall asleep and then leave her, way to go mom. Such a stupid scene. Of course the ghost hovers over her causing life-long trauma. Parenting 101.

• the lesbian doctor sibling shakes the hand of the foster dad of one her patients (?) and "just knows" that he's molesting the foster child. Instantly (as far as the episode portrays) the cops are at his house hauling him away. Its not surprising that probably the most messed up sibling some how has these super powers, though forced and ridiculous as this inclusion was into the story. Sigh. Par for the series.

I found the characters very unlikable and as my review title suggests, utterly narcissistic, selfish victims (you know, status card holders).

So how's that going to be an interesting story when you can't escape the characters? Again, the oldest brother seemed to be about the most well-adjusted. Ironic that his youngest sister somehow justifiably storms one of his book signings and attempts to ruin his life. The justifications are thin at best, but that's what C culture does. So I guess that makes sense to some as warped as that might be.

Strange too that the most interesting/scary ghost (in my opinion) was the floating man, who only appeared the one night. Too bad there wasn't more done with him.

Finally, if I had a fault of mediocre to bad horror, is that there's an attempt to wrap things up in a bow. I mean generally horror writers and directors on average don't know how to write good endings, but the least frightening and most unworthy final chapters are the ones that try to solve things. The Ring should be the 101 class of horror writing, with the child stars basic summation of Samara, that she was a malevolent entity, NOT what his mother thought (with all her naive helping).

I found the last couple of episodes not horrible, but maybe it's because I found myself mostly enduring the beginning and middle ones.

The Nice Guys (2016)

Pretentious Hollywood Perv Material

Leave it to Hollywood to make Crowe and Gosling look like weirdo/pervs along with everyone else in this pretentious, only slightly funny/entertaining piece.

What was the point of Gosling's 13 yr old daughter being dragged into Hollywood's seedy porn industry? That's what makes this film producing town look like a sick cult city. This garbage. While watching porn at a porn actress/actor party with a fat perv in his underwear and a porn gal, the 13 yr old literally corrects the porn gal characterizing her role on the screen in front of them by saying, "don't say 'stuff' say anal." Pretty much summarizes this gross Hollywood pretentious mess in a nutshell. Literally there was no need for this girl being in the film. The wierdoes behind this could have written a more effective film if it were not for all the rightly felt cringe.

Makes me wonder how A list actors end up with something like this on their record. Maybe it doesn't, which sucks. And sad if you don't see it.