dierregi
Joined Mar 2001
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Going into this, I had rock-bottom expectations, so the fact that Zero Day managed to clear that extremely low bar isn't exactly high praise. This is a techno-political thriller in which Robert De Niro plays ex-president Mullen, the head of the Zero Day Committee, tasked with uncovering who briefly hacked the American global system and, in doing so, caused thousands of deaths. So, just a tiny hiccup in cybersecurity.
Of course, Mullen has other things on his plate. For one, he may or may not be suffering from some form of mental decline - because nothing adds tension to a crisis like a leader who's losing his grip on reality. Then there's the matter of his affair with his former chief of staff Valerie, who's conveniently back in the picture. And, to keep things truly chaotic, his daughter Alex is a hostile congresswoman who is secretly involved with Roger, who happens to work with her father.
Despite all this, the plot is surprisingly easy to follow, thanks to its reliance on the usual thriller playbook. First, we get the obligatory "It must be Russia!" suspicion - because, naturally, it always is. But wait! Given the current geopolitical climate, that would be too on the nose. So, a more politically correct villain must be chosen. And let's just say it won't take a genius to figure out who, because Netflix operates within a very limited pool of acceptable bad guys.
And then there's the Roger subplot, which is where logic goes to die. We're told that Roger has committed some unspeakable crime - so terrible that if it were revealed, it would shake the very fabric of the world (gasp!). Naturally, this makes him prime blackmail material for some shady figures. But then, in a stroke of truly baffling decision-making, Roger actually uncovers the truth about the cyberattack. You'd think he'd take this information to the Zero Day Committee and save himself. But no. Instead, he chooses the most convoluted, nonsensical course of action possible, presumably just to keep the plot limping along.
That said, the acting is solid. De Niro, being De Niro, lends the show some credibility. Connie Britton is great as Valerie, while Joan Allen shows up as Mullen's wife, Sheila and Modine is the shady Richard Dreyer, the latter two looking considerably older since I saw them the last time on screen.
They all do their best with what they're given, but Zero Day ultimately feels like one of those "serious" thrillers that takes itself a little too seriously while still serving up the usual predictable beats.
Of course, Mullen has other things on his plate. For one, he may or may not be suffering from some form of mental decline - because nothing adds tension to a crisis like a leader who's losing his grip on reality. Then there's the matter of his affair with his former chief of staff Valerie, who's conveniently back in the picture. And, to keep things truly chaotic, his daughter Alex is a hostile congresswoman who is secretly involved with Roger, who happens to work with her father.
Despite all this, the plot is surprisingly easy to follow, thanks to its reliance on the usual thriller playbook. First, we get the obligatory "It must be Russia!" suspicion - because, naturally, it always is. But wait! Given the current geopolitical climate, that would be too on the nose. So, a more politically correct villain must be chosen. And let's just say it won't take a genius to figure out who, because Netflix operates within a very limited pool of acceptable bad guys.
And then there's the Roger subplot, which is where logic goes to die. We're told that Roger has committed some unspeakable crime - so terrible that if it were revealed, it would shake the very fabric of the world (gasp!). Naturally, this makes him prime blackmail material for some shady figures. But then, in a stroke of truly baffling decision-making, Roger actually uncovers the truth about the cyberattack. You'd think he'd take this information to the Zero Day Committee and save himself. But no. Instead, he chooses the most convoluted, nonsensical course of action possible, presumably just to keep the plot limping along.
That said, the acting is solid. De Niro, being De Niro, lends the show some credibility. Connie Britton is great as Valerie, while Joan Allen shows up as Mullen's wife, Sheila and Modine is the shady Richard Dreyer, the latter two looking considerably older since I saw them the last time on screen.
They all do their best with what they're given, but Zero Day ultimately feels like one of those "serious" thrillers that takes itself a little too seriously while still serving up the usual predictable beats.
To call this 1965 "comedy" dated is like saying the Titanic experienced a minor navigational hiccup. Of course, one expects a certain level of '60s "patriarchy" - women as decorative sex symbols who also serve up generous portions of Italian cuisine. But even by the standards of its time, this film feels like it's been fossilized.
The real crime here isn't just the rampant sexism, which is hardly surprising, but the fact that the movie is about as funny as a root canal. There's exactly one clever idea: Stanley Ford, our insufferable hero, is a cartoonist who feels compelled to perform whatever ludicrous stunt his spy character does in his comic strip. Not a bad premise, but it's all downhill from there.
Stanley (played by Jack Lemmon, desperately trying to squeeze laughs from this dry sponge of a script) accidentally marries a stunningly underused Virna Lisi. The film doesn't even bother to give her character a name - why would it, when her sole purpose is to cook, smile, and exist as "Mrs. Ford"? That's character development.
After a painfully long setup, the movie finally arrives at its central plot: Stanley wants to "fictionally" murder his wife in his comic strip. Hilarious, right? The law doesn't find it funny either and mistakes his fictional plot for a real-life confession.
The film drags on far past its expiration date, plagued by lazy jokes, stale gender stereotypes, and a performance by Eddie Mayehoff as Stanley's lawyer that could qualify as psychological torture. His portrayal of Harold, the world's most obnoxious man, will make you want to fast-forward through every scene he's in.
Overlong, unfunny, and as charming as a '60s office memo on acceptable skirt lengths, How to Murder Your Wife isn't just dated; it's downright prehistoric.
The real crime here isn't just the rampant sexism, which is hardly surprising, but the fact that the movie is about as funny as a root canal. There's exactly one clever idea: Stanley Ford, our insufferable hero, is a cartoonist who feels compelled to perform whatever ludicrous stunt his spy character does in his comic strip. Not a bad premise, but it's all downhill from there.
Stanley (played by Jack Lemmon, desperately trying to squeeze laughs from this dry sponge of a script) accidentally marries a stunningly underused Virna Lisi. The film doesn't even bother to give her character a name - why would it, when her sole purpose is to cook, smile, and exist as "Mrs. Ford"? That's character development.
After a painfully long setup, the movie finally arrives at its central plot: Stanley wants to "fictionally" murder his wife in his comic strip. Hilarious, right? The law doesn't find it funny either and mistakes his fictional plot for a real-life confession.
The film drags on far past its expiration date, plagued by lazy jokes, stale gender stereotypes, and a performance by Eddie Mayehoff as Stanley's lawyer that could qualify as psychological torture. His portrayal of Harold, the world's most obnoxious man, will make you want to fast-forward through every scene he's in.
Overlong, unfunny, and as charming as a '60s office memo on acceptable skirt lengths, How to Murder Your Wife isn't just dated; it's downright prehistoric.
It's almost too easy to mock the title of Crazy, Stupid, Love - a film that delivers the first two adjectives with alarming accuracy. This allegedly heartwarming comedy follows high school sweethearts Cal and Emily (Steve Carell and Julianne Moore) as they divorce after 25 years of marriage. Unfortunately, Moore's Emily is far too radiant to be believable as someone who's only ever had one relationship, and Carell's Cal is just a rehash of his 40-Year-Old Virgin persona, only with less charm and more whining.
Banished from his home, Cal starts haunting a singles bar, where self-proclaimed lothario Jacob (Ryan Gosling) decides to turn him into a bargain-bin Don Juan. Meanwhile, Emily dithers over a supposed affair with David Lindhagen (a thoroughly wasted Kevin Bacon), a subplot so underdeveloped it feels like a flimsy excuse to kick-start the story rather than an actual plot point.
Then there's Robbie, Cal and Emily's 13-year-old son, who has an obsessive crush on Jessica, his 17-year-old babysitter. She's not interested - because, well, she's sane - but that doesn't stop Robbie from bombarding her with relentless declarations of love. The film treats this as sweet and persistent rather than what it actually is: creepy and borderline harassing. Cal, instead of parenting, cheers him on, apparently confusing a teenage boy's delusions with the struggles of a middle-aged man in crisis.
To make things even messier, Cal and Emily's grown-up daughter enters the picture as Jacob's latest romantic fixation. This, of course, horrifies Cal, even though he himself spent his separation indulging in the very same behavior he now finds so appalling in Jacob. Self-awareness? Not on the menu.
With a muddled message, a complete lack of laughs, and a disturbingly casual attitude toward harassment, Crazy, Stupid, Love is a rom-com with neither romance nor comedy. Just pure, distilled nonsense.
Banished from his home, Cal starts haunting a singles bar, where self-proclaimed lothario Jacob (Ryan Gosling) decides to turn him into a bargain-bin Don Juan. Meanwhile, Emily dithers over a supposed affair with David Lindhagen (a thoroughly wasted Kevin Bacon), a subplot so underdeveloped it feels like a flimsy excuse to kick-start the story rather than an actual plot point.
Then there's Robbie, Cal and Emily's 13-year-old son, who has an obsessive crush on Jessica, his 17-year-old babysitter. She's not interested - because, well, she's sane - but that doesn't stop Robbie from bombarding her with relentless declarations of love. The film treats this as sweet and persistent rather than what it actually is: creepy and borderline harassing. Cal, instead of parenting, cheers him on, apparently confusing a teenage boy's delusions with the struggles of a middle-aged man in crisis.
To make things even messier, Cal and Emily's grown-up daughter enters the picture as Jacob's latest romantic fixation. This, of course, horrifies Cal, even though he himself spent his separation indulging in the very same behavior he now finds so appalling in Jacob. Self-awareness? Not on the menu.
With a muddled message, a complete lack of laughs, and a disturbingly casual attitude toward harassment, Crazy, Stupid, Love is a rom-com with neither romance nor comedy. Just pure, distilled nonsense.