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Reviews
Something Is Out There (1988)
A good TV movie (for a change)
"Something is Out There" is one of those rare made for commercial TV horror/SciFi movies that works. (Kind-of sort-of a SPOILER up next) It's plot was very similar to "The Hidden" but is different enough to hold its own (Actually, there are dozens of movies with the "aliens walk among us" theme, and I think there could be dozens more.) Unlike most TV movies of the time, this one does have reasonably good special effects. All in all, a good movie, although perhaps a bit lengthy. I rated it a 6 of 10.
The Kindred (1987)
Standard B-movie horror show.
This is an classic cheap but entertaining "B-movie" with a typical lack of anything profound to say, and a formula monster theme. Still it was funny, and I thought the special effects were OK, so how can it be bad. I generously rated it a "7"
Short Circuit (1986)
Too cute, but watchable
Short Circuit is like the movie "ET" with a robot substituted for the extra-terrestrial and a young woman in place of the child. Unbelievable and sickeningly cute at times, this movie should be placed on the "to avoid" list of sci-fi enthusiasts, however, the movie is well done and entertaining, so it is marginally worth watching. My rating: 5 of 10.
Creature of Destruction (1968)
Just plain bad
This movie has bad acting, bad sound, a bad plot and bad special effects that consist of nothing more than a man in a rubber suit and a mask. The movie gets a few points for being funny, but not nearly enough to rescue it. Of special note is the music score plays distractingly through the dialog. I rated it a "1"
Invaders from Mars (1986)
Not bad, but lost the feel of the original
Early on in the movie I was worried that this would be a real bomb. The film was saved later on by some impressive special effects with Martians that looked nothing like the laughable ones in the original classic. The portrayal of the world from a child's perspective was lost - and this greatly diminished the film's worth. Overall I found the film to be worth watching. I even gave it a "7" -- perhaps generously given some of the other reviews here.
Ghoulies (1984)
Entertaining hogwash
The trouble with this movie is the puppet - like special effects and the mumbo-jumbo black magic that permeates the plot. The movie isn't really that bad - its humorous and entertaining provided that you can get over the embarrassment of having to admit that you actually are watching such a bunch of hogwash. I rated it a "4 of 10"
DEFCON-4 (1985)
A good Post-nuclear war film
A noteworthy member of the post-nuclear apocalypse genre of film that adds admirably to the body of opinion of what the world would be like after an all out nuclear war. More sensible than the fantasy treatment of movies such as "Road Warrior" or "A Boy and His Dog", but not so dismal as "The Day After", this movie gives a bit more feel of what really might happen after a Nuclear confrontation, but has enough action and adventure to make for a good film. The movie is somewhat unpolished, but pleasingly gruesome (as a movie dealing with nuclear war must be). I gave it a 7 of 10.
Stridulum (1979)
Confusing -
An odd movie that I am reviewing from my notes from my original screening of the movie long ago. Perhaps I just didn't get it, but my plot summary is as follows (Quoting from old notes): "An extra-terrestrial(ET) force is present in an unsuspecting mother.
The force manifests itself in her 8-year old child, giving the child super human powers. This makes the mother is the object of attention of both the ET aliens and some earthlings who know of this strange phenomenon." It doesn't quite sound like the plot summary, given here at the IMDB - which will attest at least to the incoherent nature of the film. The movie is confusing, but reasonably fast paced. I rated the movie a "1 of 10".
Hard Rock Zombies (1984)
Predictable let-down
Its hard to believe that anyone could actually like this nonsense movie. The music is just run-of-the-mill rock, the acting is bad, the humor is mostly lame. About the only good things that I can say for this production are that the pace is reasonable, and there is enough gore to keep a splatter movie fan happy. That's about it. I rated it a "3 of 10".
The Unseen (1980)
Good atmosphere saves a slow paced movie
The Unseen is done in a style more like old Hollywood mysteries than a horror show. The film is somewhat slow but lots of bizarre imagery keeps it the film alive and watchable. The basic idea of young girls stalked by something in the basement is old, but good acting and production make the movie worth watching. The movie is notable for its emotional impact and certainly not for any explicit action or special effects. I rated it an 8 out of 10.
Future-Kill (1985)
Get the poster, skip the movie.
The only thing good about this movie is the artwork on the promotion poster by H. R. Geiger. Anti-nuke protesters who all looked like punk rockers of the late 1970s, and somehow became non-violent, (except for their leader, "Splatter") occupy the cities. Fraternity boys descend on the punkers to do some violence on them and turn them into victims. Bad acting and bad plot then descends on the real victim, you, the viewer. I gave this a "2" because a few sexual scenes at least give it MST3K potential.
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes! (1978)
Really funny, really stupid too.
Tomatoes somehow come to life and kill people. The plot is as silly as it sounds, but anyone who goes to a movie with this title really should not be disappointed. The movie delivers what it advertises. I saw the film in 1980 in the theater. At that time I was struck by an extraordinary scene of a helicoptor loosing control on takeoff -- it was completely out of place given the rest of the movies budget. Later I heard that that was a real accident and that the pilot lost his life. I hope my memory is wrong, -- I didn't find any details here on the incident. At least the director left the footage in the film and even improvised the action slightly to incorporate it. That maybe the most thought provoking part of this film; whether or not to use footage of an accident. Otherwise, this is pure, meaningless fun. I rated it a "6" .
It Lives Again (1978)
A good idea badly done = OK movie
After the monstrous killer baby of "It's Alive" terrorizes the delivery room, now, in It Lives again, it seems that there is an epidemic of these things. While the government wants nothing more than to exterminate them all, a group of scientists with compassion are trying to save, and educate the monsters, but they prove to be a bit hard to handle.
This movie could have been a great monster flick. The parallel to the abortion debate and the fact that the baby-monsters are not clearly all good or bad could have made this a significant movie. Even the stupid idea of killer babies makes for a great movie because provides an opportunity to explore the moral dilemma of what to do when children doing bad things. Unfortunately, the director failed to pull it off, and gave us a mediocre sequel. The special effects were weak, with the babies rarely shown clearly, and the characters managed to act stupidly, annoying me throughout the film. The original movie "It's Alive" is the better movie (although that also is sub-standard - but at least its funnier and unique). Still, I think that this film is worth watching for fans of off-beat horror movies.
La residencia (1969)
Not to everyone's taste - especially not mine.
First be warned that I saw this movie on TV and with dubbed English - which may have entirely spoiled the atmosphere. However, I'll rate what I saw and hope that will steer people away from that version. I found this movie excruciatingly dull. All the movie's atmosphere is lost with dubbing leaving the slow frustration of a stalker movie. I'm sorry, but the worst movie sin in my book is to be slow except when the movie about philosophy. I didn't see any deep philosophical meaning in this movie. Maybe I missed something, but I have to tell it like I see it. I rated it a "1". What can I say, U.S. oriented tastes, maybe.
Night Shadows (1984)
Toxic waste of time
Take Dawn of the Dead, let the light hurt the eyes of the zombies so that all the action takes place in unsatisfying darkness, add stupid characters that keep putting themselves into unnecessary danger, and you have Night Shadows. I saw the movie under the title "Mutant" and for the most part regretted having rented the video. The movie, reminds me of Chud, except not as good (provided that you would even want to Chud good). Personally, I'm tired of "chemical waste makes monster" theme - so any movie with that focus has to be good to get my attention. This film is not good. Its not quite a total bomb either, it has some good scares, and one or two spots of worthy black humor. So after you've rented all the other good zombie-type movies, this one might be worth a look -- barely. Rated 3 on 1-10 scale
The Brain That Wouldn't Die (1962)
Classic 60's sleaze
This is the quintessential 1960's cheap exploitation film. It is without question one of the funniest ideas to ever have been made into a horror picture. Mad scientist's wife dies, so he saves her head and goes to strip bars looking for a new body. Meanwhile, there is that mysterious thing in the closet. Its a shame that the movie was so badly done. Why can't Hollywood remake the bad movies with good ideas, like this one, and make them better rather than remaking good movies and make them worse? There is no denying that you have to overlook the bad parts of this movie to enjoy it, but I think the movie is worth more than being forever cropped with the shadows of the Mystery Science Theater people superimposed in the front. Maybe a MST3K DVD, where you can have the option of viewing the film with and without the interruptions would be the right venue for this film. I kindly rated the film a 6 of 10, for its sleazy spirit and outlandish plot.
Kenan & Kel: Two Heads Are Better Than None (2000)
If you like the film, you'll like the film
This film is quite good for a low budget, made for TV movie. The acting and sets come across more like a daytime soap opera than a polished Hollywood production - which suggests that there wasn't that much effort put into the movie. At times the action gets sidetracked, with several scenes that seem out of place, as if their main purpose was to fill time. The movie more than makes up for it with its humor. Although predictable, I found many of the gags got stuck in my head only to come out days later and bring a smile to my face. This movie seems to be one of those Halloween specials - and would be good to watch or rent around mid October. In some ways, the totally stupid title describes the film well. If you think its as funny as I do, then you will probably enjoy the film. Don't expect too much and you won't be disappointed. I rated it a "6" out of 10.
Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius (2001)
Good for a kid show
This movie is an entertaining show for children (11 and under). I took my kid and it passed the test with her. I found it funny - and, in fact, my only real complaint is that I think a movie based on a scientific genius should at least pay a tiny - tiny bit of attention to scientific principles. I was rather looking forward to a move that might be science-fiction for children, and got something that completely trashed science. This movie made even the Power Puff Girls look realistic by comparison.
But still, if mindless fun is all you want in a movie, then by all means check Jimmy Neutron out.
Scream and Scream Again (1970)
Great atmosphere, great plot, fair otherwise
'Scream and Scream Again' is one of my favorites, even though it is ratherly poorly put together. The director tried to make the movie mysterious -- and succeeded too well, making it nearly incomprehensible. However, if you have patience, the final explanation at the end will tie enough of the film together to make rewarding sense.
The main attraction for this movie is its subtle atmosphere of horror. The movie mainly consists of fragmented images that come to gether to paint a darker picture than just what the movie shows. A good example of the texture and flavor of the film is the scene which, to my disappointment, was removed from the version I rented (I originally saw the film in a college Halloween movie festival). A coroner while alone investigating the death of a lovely women begins to move forward as if to kiss the corpse but is interrupted by the inspector entering the room. The surprised coroner quickly straightens up and tries to look very official and busy, but obviously is upset at having almost been caught being amorous to the corpse. No further reference was made to the scene.
This is an example of the extremely dark and upsetting images that lie just beneath the surface of the film. It is unfortunate that the director's attempt to involve the audience by making them work hard to piece together fragments of action into something comprehensible was mostly unsuccessful. Still, I think the film is worth the patience. My rating: 8 of 10.
Saturn 3 (1980)
Good humor saves this from the movie dump
While certainly not a good film, Saturn 3 is interesting and funny enough to bring back fond memories of the after all these years. The movie plays well on tension, and has a few frightening parts. It is a bit slow, however, and the special effects are definitely on the cheesy side - but then again, with Farrah Fawcett in her younger days staring in the lead role, what else would you expect except cheesy. I rated it a 5 -- mostly because the brain-filled robot, however cheap it was depicted in the film, was an interesting concept.
The Funhouse (1981)
Intense
This horror movie is marked by an intense few scenes that make the entire movie stand out in the crowd of 1980's slasher flicks. The pace of the movie is somewhat average - but the atmosphere can give the creeps to anyone. There is good humor, and an effective capture of the sleazy feel of local carnivals - especially the old freak show type of traveling road show. I rated it a 7 of 10 - indicating that, while perhaps not a classic, it is non-the-less a worthwhile film for any student of splatter movies.
Galaxy of Terror (1981)
Misses the mark
Galaxy of Terror should have been a good film. It basically is one of those dark, Alien-like space monster movies filled with pop-out scares. I found the character's behavior to be unbelievable given their situation - but that's not all that unusual. In the end I gave it only a "3" rating because the movie falls flat. It seems like the production just got away from the director and actors and came out unconvincing. The movie gives a feeling as though it were done to show off a few gross-out special effects, and not much more, but the special effects didn't come out that good and they didn't have enough money to re-shoot.
The Boogens (1981)
Well done "B" movie
The Boogens is a good fright flick. It plays well on the fear of dark abandon mine shafts, and creepy old buildings. I gave it a "7" out of ten - mostly because of the effectiveness that the movie sets in its atmosphere, from the opening sequence of old photographs and news stories that set the stage for the movie, to the ending - which I found really funny - in a good sort of B-movie way.
Cat People (1982)
Boring, boring, boring
I found this movie to be slow and boring. About the only thing that I really liked about the film is the fascinating appearance of Nastassia Kinski in her role as the cat woman. The beauty of a black panther is also something to appreciate. Unfortunately, the movie appeals to the vampire mentality, which I don't seem to have. Sexuality mixed with horror, but in a slow and tasteful way does not really appeal to me. I only rated it a "2". I guess I prefer to watch my panthers on Animal Planet.
La guerre du feu (1981)
Still Unique
This film is unique in its ideas and portrayal of stone-age life. It is an entertaining and fascinating movie. The portrayal of fire as a coveted commodity is interesting. There is a lot of humor, and it is reasonably fast paced. With all dialogue in ancient grunts and untranslated primitive languages, a U.S. audience will not even notice that the film is French. I rated the movie an "8", with the rating having inched up over the years since I originally saw the film in the theaters, at which time I only gave it a 6 on a 0-10 scale. My reasons back then were that it was a little stupid in places. After 20 years of movie going, I now realize that 95% of all films are stupid in places.