sallyomalleyxxx

This is, without question, the most hilariously bad movie I have ever seen in my life. I'd give it one star, but its very badness makes it entertaining! Bad script, bad acting, bad music, bad hair: hysterical from beginning to end. I'm serious, by the end I was exhausted from laughing so hard! Even the scene where the dog dies is funny, and I'm the type who cries buckets over Old Yeller.

I'm not even going to bother discussing the so-called plot, except to say: rich gal, engaged to successful guy, meets buff carnie worker and falls in love with him. Many shirt removals ensue.

As for the "soft porn" some critics have touted, it's disappointing. I keep hearing that women like this movie. All that tells me is how pathetically under-served women are by the film industry, that they would be grateful for such paltry crumbs as these. Yes, Richard Tyson is attractive (except for the hair) but you hardly get to see any of him. He occasionally takes his shirt off, whoop de doo. Is his lower body covered with horrible burns, or something? It must be, because nudity in this movie is confined to the female characters. Time and again the camera focuses lovingly on Sherrilyn Fenn, who, by the way, makes having an orgasm seem like an unpleasant chore. One wonders if she's ever actually had one.

Even the makeup is incompetent. There's this one scene, after Tyson's character gets beaten up, where he has what looks like a perfectly round hole in his forehead, and he and Fenn are having sex, and it's supposed to be hot, but you keep seeing this weird hole in his head and laughing...OMG, it's sooooooooooo bad. I'm shocked to see so many positive reviews of this ridiculous clunker. 2 out of 10 stars.

I found this movie appealing despite its flaws. Whether you can forgive the flaws depends greatly on what you find hot. Some people find the whole men-behind-bars, dominance/submission, "young pup manhandled by older, bigger dudes" scenario highly erotic. Others will be bored during the long stretches between the explicit sex scenes, and probably shouldn't bother watching. These are the critics who complain about porn with pretensions. What they don't understand is that for some viewers, the pretensions -- the attempts at character development -- are part of the porn.

The flaws are many and serious, lol. This is a low-budget movie rife with silly stereotypes, bad acting and unintentional humor. Oh, and the music is terrible. But the two stars, Marcel Schlutt and Mike Sale, are a pleasure to look at, there are some very hot scenes, and there are also some surprisingly good non-sexual moments. And Schlutt, considering his inexperience and lack of training, is not a bad actor! He's at least twice as good as Keanu Reeves, though admittedly that's not saying much, and is absolutely adorable in the role of the shy, blushing ingénue. (Watch the cast interview afterwards and you can see he was definitely acting.) Also, in the rape scene, he's disturbingly convincing.

Unfortunately, Schlutt's co-star, Mike Sale, can't act to save his life, God bless him. It doesn't help that he's supposed to be American and has a British accent, but in a low-budget movie you can overlook things like that. What you can't overlook is a lead actor who reads his lines woodenly, occasionally glancing at the camera, and who's supposed to be the toughest thug in a maximum-security prison but comes across as cuddly and effete. It's kind of cute in a way, lol. I guess there aren't many black actors to choose from in Germany. To be fair, though, he is attractive, and pleasing to watch during the sex scenes.

I won't catalog all the things about the movie that are silly, as other critics have covered that in excruciating detail. I will say I couldn't help noticing that the sole African-American character is portrayed as the toughest, most dominant guy in the whole prison, he's the best basketball player, etc., and uses the word m-----f----- once or twice (with a British accent). Personally, I found this rather cute and quaint. It's like a little slice of sociology, seeing how African-American men appear (exotic! feared! revered!) through German eyes.

I'll just mention two scenes that surprised me. One is the scene in which Schlutt's character, Dennis, returns to his cell after being outed as having an affair with a black man. The other prisoners chant "N----- Whore" over and over again as he's marched down the cell block. It's actually a little scary. And the scene in which the Letarsky character comforts Schlutt's character after the rape is rather touching. Some critics seem to have found that scene funny, so maybe I'm just under-critical or something, but it moved me.

So, to summarize: It's undeniably bad in a lot of ways, but I watched it three times, so am giving it 7 out of 10 stars. (I would so never admit to that if I were posting under my real name!)