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Reviews
Arctic Armageddon (2023)
So awful that it becomes enjoyable
The actors are awful, the scenario is awful, the special effects are awful, everything is awful, to the point that they almost match the worst film ever filmed.
However, I enjoyed it. A lot. I laughed at the indigent play of the actors, of the green screen effects, at the scenario which merits an igNobel Prize in Physics, everything is so low-cost that Ryan Air becomes Air France face to this inept film.
However, I enjoyed the hairstyle of the actress playing Dr Wood, I will ask my wife to copy that haircut.
Finally, I would like to thank the director who perpetrated this film. I spent an enjoyable moment by laughing in front of my TV.
Mingo y Aníbal en la mansión embrujada (1986)
Just a remembrance of my young years
The film is not bad. It is awful. A complete indignity that should be erased from the excellent Argentinian film industry.
However I give it 3 stars instead of none because the actors, the music, the colours remember me when the members of my family were still alive and I was a young man having still a life history to be written.
Small Town Christmas (2018)
YACM (Yet Another Christmas Movie)
OK... The good guy is mature, perfect and devoted as expected, the girl he loves has beautiful eyes as expected, the bad guy is not so bad (this was not expected), the children are beautiful and perfect - we could expect that -; the community is perfect as expected, and... love is expected and it appers when and where it was expected.
Forget Bergman and Wajda, and all that cinema geeks movies, and give yourself a pause. If you love Christmas movies - or if you hate surprises -, Small Town Christmas is for you. You will spend a good moment with it. It is not The Birds, Amadeus or 2001. But it is a honest product for the market it targets, hence the 7.
Enjoy !
2101 (2014)
1 star is too high rated
What can I say... This film is the ultimate transgression I have seen, all the superlatives have been exhausted. Even a single star is too condescendent.
It is so bad, that it makes Plan 9 from Outer Space look like a Fellini's or Bertolucci's film.
The director is so inept, that Ed Wood would have the stature of Hitchcock besides him.
The script breaks all the rules taught in cinema courses; from this reason, it has none left.
The actors play is worse than taking randomly people and assigning them random characters.
The camera was operated by a blind.
The abandoned factory, a must for saving money not renting studios.
Your time has a value. Please do not even try to dilapidate it with this student's joke.
Panic (2002)
So bad movie that it becomes enjoyable (WARNING - Plot details uncovered)
It is not a bad movie, it is the worst one I have seen in my life. Where to begin with ? Computer animations have been done with an IBM PC XT of 1982. For those not being born at that time, screens were monochrome (green) and they run at the amazing speed of 0,004 GHz. Graphics are so crude that I suspect they subcontracted them to high school students from a country which always appears in CNN in the wrong continent. The blonde air hostess is OK: she had beautiful eyes. More or less the best in the film. The young lady with the brown hair had at least a beautiful short haircut and a sweet smile. This is the only thing I can say of polite and positive about her. The pilot character is as believable as your uncle disguised as a clown for your 8th birthday party. You know who is he, but as an educated boy you keep it for yourself. The bad guy is the best. His contact lens in his right eye, and his badly done half mask were purchased in a cheap Chinese import shop after Halloween was over. In fact, the Chinese salesman paid the producers for taking them out from his shop. The airline was something like Domain Airlines (please correct me if I am wrong). Thank you for the warning. Next time I will purchase a ticket in Oceanic Airlines... There is an error in the script. My nerves would have appreciated if the fat man who hates flying should have disappeared earlier. The film was so, so bad, that it became enjoyable. Finally, at the end, I appreciated it.