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Janet Planet (2023)
3 stars for the movie plus 5 stars for the doll
In spite of widespread raptures found elsewhere, I found this movie tedious, if perversely interesting. The symbiotic relationship between mom and daughter was curious but understandable since neither of them had a stable relationship with any other person. The episodes of mom's brief encounters with a few others led nowhere and evaporated suddenly.
My favorite scene in this exceedingly languid film is at 1:08:42 when Lacy picks up the handmade doll while waiting on the couch at her piano teacher's house. ("Teacher" is generous, since the lady is nearly mute and not helpful.) The doll starts out as Little Red Riding Hood, and when Lacy pulls up her dress, she finds Grandma underneath in her own different dress. When she turns Grandma over and pulls up her bonnet, the Wolf appears!
Hit Man (2023)
A fluffy yawn
Glen Powell does nothing for me: a rather average-looking man who gets roles as a nice guy and who somehow has acquired a popular, yet unearned reputation for being great. (Really?) His various disguises as the hit man earned a chuckle or two. It was somewhat understandable that Madison (Adria Arjona) found his hit man persona intriguing, so that their sex scenes were, at least mechanically, on the warm side.
My favorite part was Jasper's murder; I really didn't like that guy, even if he was the only cop on the team who was capable of critical thinking, refusing to believe the audio-monitored act put on to make her appear innocent. The audience then has to be as dumb as the other cops in accepting Jasper's suicide cover-up. (What? No autopsy finding the drugs she gave? And what drugs? She got where?)
Then the movie abruptly jumps to years after the two murders they got away with to the happy familial ending.
Strangers on a Train (1951)
Parts are gripping, even in 2024
But. SPOILER: I don't think the scene on the merry-go-round was supposed to be so hilarious. A cop shoots into the crowd of mostly children on the ride and kills the ride operator, which sends the carousel spinning insanely fast. Bruno and Guy have a lengthy fight on the wild ride, nearly trampled by the horse legs, yet with time for Guy to save a boy that Bruno knocks off his horse. When the old guy who'd crawled underneath manages to get to the controls and ostensibly turn the machine off, it truly runs amok with the belt drive flapping loose, horses flying off into the crowd, and the whole carousel tipping wildly amid smoke, screams and mayhem before it finally comes to a stop. Guy and the cops get to Bruno, who's conveniently at death's door and of course, as he dies, his hand falls open, showing the lighter. I mean, hilarious.
Secrets of the Chippendales Murders (2022)
Could have been a decent shortish movie
Eighty minutes could have easily covered every detail in this series. Production values, video & audio quality are so low it seems like something made in a warehouse back in the 60s. There is so much redundant repetition you can easily nap through most of the episodes without missing a thing. Attempts to dramatize by several chatterbox men fail. The holes left in the story remain vacant, like what happened to what must have been several million dollars Banerjee accumulated? What happened to Irene during the many years after Steve committed suicide and before she died of cancer? What happened to their daughter?
Perhaps technically less accurate, Hulu's "Welcome to Chippendales" was at least mildly entertaining and features a cast that includes several entertaining actors, like Annaleigh Ashford, Juliette Lewis, Murray Bartlett, and Kumail Nanjiani.
Viva Las Vegas (1964)
Hard to like in 2022
Elvis struggles to make enough $ to buy the engine for his race car, all the while wooing ann-margret with songs while she mostly resists his charms, but shimmies and jiggles like crazy. Thanks to her dad buying the engine and bad luck for several drivers whose cars crash, he wins. 30 seconds later they get married, then sing the title song again on split screen, the end. Hard to believe they were having an affair at the time bc I was so distracted by the awful props & costumes: a tree he gives her that looks made out of plastic, badly; funky scene sets; one scene where a-m squirts ketchup on bread while singing; several somewhat close-fitting tops of hers looked like her bra was stuffed w wads of heavy kraft paper--tho from behind her booty in short shorts was divine; both of them had makeup put on with a spatula; his lipstick was thick and pink; her hair was a ratted high, frozen thing. The car race crashes were pretty decent.
Spellbound (1945)
Worth a watch just for Michael Checkov
Drag yourself thru this and try to stay awake until you get to Dr. Brulov's place. He makes this film worthwhile, and is the only actor in the film who is believably effective and a pleasure to watch. 5 stars to him.
Otherwise, seriously outdated and silly with its love-at-first-sight BS and Peck's wild-eyed staring when he goes into one of his paranoid dazes. Cardboard police and other lesser characters phone in their bits.
Dali's dream sequence and the death of the brother gain another star each.
The ending reveal is telegraphed to anyone with an I. Q. over 75.
The Unforgivable (2021)
If you have a heart, watch this one
Based on the mini-series written by one of my favorite writers, Sally Wainwright (of Gentleman Jack fame), this film does a superb job of telling the wrenching story of a woman who spent 20 years in prison to protect her little sister, who she had raised from birth, wondering and worrying all that time whether her sister was having a decent life.
Sandra Bullock will wrench your heart, often without speaking a word, as she negotiates the challenges of a felon's parole. Her scene with Viola Davis is a masterclass in what two amazing actors can do with facial expressions and minimal dialogue.
Bring a hanky.
The Guilty (2021)
Half as good as the original
The original The Guilty ("Den Skyldige") 2018 was a triumph, and a tour de force for the Danish actor, Jakob Cedergren. This remake features an unlikable Jake Gyllenhaal over-acting, being hostile and aggressive or self-pitying and whining, nearly ruining what was in the original a gripping screenplay. If you see this remake first, you're lucky; now go watch the original. If you've seen the Danish original, don't bother with this failed remake.
Der kommer en dag (2016)
Good luck finding decent subtitles
Rather miserable story featuring two brothers stuck in a harsh and abusive orphanage. I'm not sure why any actor would want to portray such grotesque roles as several did here, as the headmaster and one teacher (pedophile). Eventually a somewhat "happy" ending.
Homicide: The Movie (2000)
Decent, with a few good scenes, and early patches of annoyingly dropped audio
Not really up to par with the show, mostly a showcase for seeing every face, with a tough twist between Pembleton and Bayliss at the end. I mainly post this review to say I found it discombobulating that the movie was silent for several minutes near the beginning while it scanned the various actors' reactions to G having been shot. The utter silence was weirdly interrupted by a few noises. Music would have been preferred IMNHO if they wanted to skip any dialogue.
Robot Chicken: Bitch Pudding Special (2014)
Absolutely fabulous! Totally NOT FOR KIDS
I must disagree strongly with the one other review. I heard about Robot Chicken and was under the impression it was a kid's show. Oh h3ll no, it ain't. Started watching with my 6yo granddaughter. Bitch Pudding shows up at Granny Grahamcrackers' funeral and quickly changes the tone from respectful eulogy to filthy sarcasm. I quickly stopped the show realizing this was very adult humor. I told my granddaughter she can watch it when she's 21! I watched the episode later and found it to be hilarious. Bitch Pudding narrowly escapes being dropped into a live volcano, and I nearly peed myself at her comments as she bounced down the mountainside to relative safety. There's a sort of war at Smurfy-like town with lots of gore. There's an epic battle with Squirrel Wizard. She eventually gets back home in time for the Bitch Pudding Is Dead festival and proves payback is a Bitch! Yes, this episode is violent, is full of obscene jokes, is irreverent and sarcastic. Watching the stop-action doll gore was fun. Bitch Pudding rulez!
3 Backyards (2010)
Total spoiler ahead
Please don't waste your time, no matter how much you love Edie Falco, unless you want to watch her be unbearably frustrated in an attempt at kind friendliness. The ostensible celebrity neighbor who asks for and gets a ride to the ferry is cold and impervious, yet at one point breaks down in a crying jag and clutches at Edie's character, yet still remains essentially mute. Jeebus! I just wanted her to say "My mother just died! Please don't make me talk about it!" The man who misses his flight wanders a poor neighborhood and has a fit of compassion for an unemployed immigrant woman, but while he's busy on his cell phone, she gets run down and killed by a car. Somehow this tragedy makes him drive back home and hug his semi-estranged wife. A young girl loses her mom's bracelet, which was found by the neighborhood pervert, but in spite of hideous ominous music, gets it back from him without being molested. Actually, this summary is WAY better than the movie.
We Need to Talk About Kevin (2011)
Read the book, then skip the movie
Much of this movie version of Lionel Shriver's "We Need to Talk about Kevin" just doesn't live up to the impact of the novel. I found the first half boring, the stylized mini-flashbacks annoying. The music selections seemed inappropriate and odd, some too-loud country-western (?) stuff played over too many scenes of the mom driving. Lots of Tilda Swinton (mom) looking shell-shocked. Completely awful miscasting of that goofy-looking John C. Reilly as the dad, even if he did act his part well enough. The young actor who plays Kevin as a teenager is very handsome, with striking almond-shaped eyes, as if he had an Asian grandparent--he looks nothing like either of his ostensible parents. The second half picked up a bit, but they left out the scene where Kevin tells his dad what he really thinks of him, a significant breech. The end fell flatter than in the novel. Sadly disappointing.