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sparkyhughes33
Reviews
Arkansas (2020)
Boring
This film is about as boring as it gets, I'd sooner watch paint dry, I've no idea what the point of it is, Liam Hemsworth shows why his equally but luckier talantless brother can't act.
This film is one of those you watch and think. Well that's time I'm never going to get back.
Was this made by the producers of the Australian soaps?
It must have been as it had just as much storhband depth.
It's a awful film, don't waste your time watching it, you'll regret it if you do.
I'm running out of ways to say how awful this film is, come on IMDB stop making it so hard to share a opinion. This film is terrible.
Seed (2006)
Brutal
This is the most brutal and graphic horror films I've ever seen, I'm 54 so lived through all the so called "video nasty" years, if you are an animal lover, particularly dogs, the opening scenes are horrendous, I had to look away, that's never happened to me before and I watched The Evil Dead, I spit on your Grave, Basket Case Driller killer and the rest before they were banned in my early teens, none bothered me, this one is like going back in time, the only annoying part and this is not a spoiler, he's not unmasked throughout his custody, obviously that would never happen and spoils it a bit.
Other than that it's a great watch, one of the best modern horror films, no idea why it's got such a low score, must be under thirties hooked on SciFi.
Tales from Pandora's Box: Chapter One (2022)
Seriously?
It starts off with a kame story set in the late 1800s yet they are all wearing eye glasses (spectacles) made yesterday.
Is this deliberate or do they think we are too stupid to notice? Only they can say.
I didn't even recognise any kind of story or point to it?
Why is there a second? It's not even in English. It's subtitled in Arabic.
Was this a film student art project? It certainly had no budget to talk of.
Does black and white mean they are trying to be artistic with the next awful and quite pointless story?
Why was this made? Why was it commissioned? Why is it on my TV?
Who decided anyone would want to see this?
Creepshow (2019)
Nothing more than a rehash.
Almost every episode is a rehash of other stories, Santa Clarita Diet a real standout, Little Red Riding Hood another, not a single original story. We don't even get an introduction to the story like we did in the original, I loved the boy on the bike doing a delivery then the creep introducing the upcoming story.
I also hate it when stories have no ending, such as the mouse monster and the hidden monster in the box.
Too many of these stories are based on well known stories and fairy tales, I was hoping for new stories not rehashed.
I'd say it's worth a watch just to pass the time but it really isn't.
Cherry Tree (2015)
An Irish film with an English cast?
The Wtching Tree meets Rosemary's Baby.
I don't understand why this film was made this way, an Irish film with an all English cast, no problem with an updated remaining of other films and stories but why they chose to confuse an audience with the depiction of location and the obvious misallocation of accents?
It's clearly low budget which in the old days of 70's and 80's horror was perfectly acceptable as they usually used shock factor to make up for the poor imigary and acting.
This is the opposite, the acting and imigary are acceptable for a modern audience but it has no shock facter which just makes it meh.
Passes the time I suppose.
Midsommar (2019)
The Wicker Man
This is clearly inspired by the original The Wicker man, whilst it's an interesting film it's simply too long, an hour of dead space makes you feel like turning it off.
If you have seen The Wicker Man the film is quite predictable.
Yes it comes at it from a different angle but the premise and storyline are the same.
I came close to turning it off several times but my curiosity in seeing if it effectively played out like The Wicker Man and I was right, it did.
It needs re-editing and the dead space taken out to make it a much more enjoyable and engaging film, too many scenes are boring and unnecessary,
Sort it out.
Rot (2019)
Shivers without the slugs.
Awful, I'm being generous with a three, clearly inspired by David Cronanberg's low budget but classic 70s "video nasty".
I really don't get what the story is supposed to be, there doesn't appear to be a plot nor even a premice.
It just comes across as one of those movies made for the sake of making a movie simply because they could, with no apparent story.
There doesn't appear to be a cause for the violant behaviour nor an explanation why it passes from one person to another with a kiss.
At least in David Cronanberg's Shivers what was happening and why was clear.
I'd avoid this, you'll never get that time back.
Initiation (2020)
So boring
If this film had been any slower it would have ground to a halt, totally devoid of interest or engagement, no clue as to who the killer might be, it just trundles along, yes you work out why the killer is doing it but not why the certain method.
This film isn't even worthy of just passing the time as it is so boring and slow it struggles to pass the time.
I found myself looking up actors I thought I recognised to see why. Turned out one was from Scary Movie.
This movie should simply be avoided, I don't actually understand why a pay streaming service provides it. Come on, we are paying, do better!
Total Recall (2012)
Poor
Loved the first adaptation of the Stephen King book, even with Arnie as the lead.
This adaptation was just boring, slow, uninspiring, no depth, lacklustre.
The character was simply not interesting.
There was just no atmosphere in this film.
It's obviously hard not to directly compare both adaptations which the first I watched at contemporary times.
Rekall was set up like a Chinese opium den rather than a medical type facility, admittedly I've not read the book so don't know which film is most accurate, I just know the first film was more gripping and more interesting.
I think this adaptation tried to be too clever and missed the point a movie should be entertaining.
Books of Blood (2020)
Empty
There doesn't seem to be a story in any of these so called anthologies, They begin, they end, there is no in between, there is no here there is no there, to recommend anyone to watch would not be fair, unless you disliked them. Anna Friel has always been a terrible actress. She was only made famous by the lesbian kiss in Brookside and the body buried under the patio. OK, she was in a film called An Ever Lasting Piece, set in Northern Ireland, her accent was terrible, the running joke was felkas trying to sell Hair Pieces but their accent made it sound like they were saying Herpes. That's all I can say.
American Horror Stories (2021)
Waste of time
It's terrible, Each story is dragged out, trying not to be obviously taken from well known horror movies, mostly 80s. Don't waste your time watching, it's worse than the poorest of the original series, imagine freakshow but worse.
It's clear they ran out of ideas hence the rebrand, they should have just stopped. The original had a few fillers, used some known actors to drag it out.
I liked a lot of the original series but this overrun is terrible, it's like watching someone pull bubblegum strings out of their mouth and claiming they are blowing world record bubbles. Garbage. Give it a by if you've sense.
Day of the Dead: Bloodline (2017)
Awful, just awful.
Don't know where to start with how bad this movie is, the acting is terrible, you can see each one is waiting for their mark, they sound like they are reading idiot cards, no emotion, no tonal influences, it's a very hard watch. Don't bother.
Things Heard & Seen (2021)
Another Amytiville yarn.
It's clearly based on the Amityville story though it doesn't derectly alude to it.
Main male character is called George, previous occupants surname is Lutz, so the clues are all there.
It's not a boring film but not engrossing either, it's main problem is the ambiguity and the fact it's so predictable, I think the ending is meant to be a twist on certain things through the movie.
Those complaining about the ending clearly didn't take notice during the film, it's plainly obvious what it meant, reversal.
If you've nothing else to do or watch it passes the time. 5 stars.
Red Dragon (2002)
A remake that stays true to the original, not a rehash.
A good film that is a remake of Man hunter, a remake of the film rather than another adaptation of the book, the book was clearly inspired by the Son Of Sam murders.
Once Upon a Time in... Hollywood (2019)
Didn't get it
A combination of fact and fiction but no story, nothing linking them in any way.i like Tarantino movies but don't understand the poin of this one.
..........
Beyond the Gates (2016)
The point?
Nothing happens until the last 10 minutes, no story, no build up, nothing, 120 minutes introducing the characters, this should have been a 20 minute anthology story, if that.