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Teambuilding (2022)
The culture of idiocy...
...is so prevalent in Romania that such an abomination of a "movie" has a rating above 2-3...
This is what corporations have done to people - or perhaps it's the people who have always been like this: without any moral compass, without any scale of values, even without humor! A generation trapped in hashtags and educated over feisbuk groups or instagram a$$-and-tit*ies-reels.
This is what you get when you also have non-actors (people recruited over the internet, without ANY film school training or concept) playing - non-actors make non-movies.
Bad, cursing words are NOT humor, you sick twisted people who contributed to this abhorrent vomit! Shame on you!!!
Risen (2016)
Poor man's Jesus Sci-Fi
I had to sit through the dread of this "movie" for a second time... so here's my venting:
First of all - why make a FAKE story about the Truth? Aren't there enough stories to go around? To build upon or to deform?... Fake Roman soldier inserted into the post-Crucifixion period, gets to witness the Apostles' meetings with Christ, and even gets to be sent by Peter "Yo, bro, go out and spread the message!" without even KNOWING what Jesus' teaching or message was... aside from some general, vague talk he had with him...
Second... after the REAL movies about Jesus - Zefirelli's 6-hour movie, and The Passion of the Christ, who in their right mind would chose a less-Jesus-looking actor? An Arab one, no less... one without ANY spiritual vibe... one who looks like a regular corpse while on the cross, and like a hippie dude while talking to others, after Resurrection...
Third - the Apostles are the lamest i've ever seen... like some hippies having a joint with Jesus while the soldier stumbles upon their ayahuasca meeting... Bartholomew gets the prize for being the dumbest, most immature hippie version of any disciple of Christ. No, sorry, that was NOT Christ, but a C or D-movie deluded version of... someone.
I've reached the word limit for the review, so i won't bother anymore - you shouldn't bother with this inaccurate, non-spiritual, dreaded resemblance of a movie either. Better to see one of the Good ones about Jesus, or to read the Bible... or to see a well-made movie. Otherwise you'd waste 2 hours of your life in vain...
Avatar: The Way of Water (2022)
Attack of the clones
Oh boy... where do I begin?...
"Good special effects do not a movie make" - hey mr Cameron (or rather Cameleon? This is what you've become)
The main "stars" said in a video/trailer that this movie is like the first but on steroids, or 100x more intense than the first one... but hey, what else should they say? They gotta promote it, right?
Truth is, this is like the first (literally!) but on Alzheimer... or on drugs... Nothing makes sense, nothing matters anymore, like it did so much in the first one... the dialogues are excruciatingly poor, the scenes follow each other without any flow, just thrown there randomly... What happened to you dear James? Did you microdose with something? What the heck, man?!...
The first movie was a literal book about how-to-make-a-grand-piece-of-art! Everything mattered, each line of dialogue, each vehicle, each ship, each animal, each character was well-defined, well-played and well-written. Here, aside from copying lines and gestures and even grunts of old characters, none of them matters anymore, there are no real emotions, no spirituality (except for some fake watered-down attempt)... just some good special effects, especially the underwater ones. Scenes don't flow harnoniously anymore, like they did in the first one, they're just thrown there one after another senselessly... like a bad soup or a bland dish made by a bored or angry cook (who got lazy after being given some Michelin stars).
But these alone do not make a good movie.
The music is inexistent, some rehash of old tunes from the first movie. Nothing carries the scenes, musically.
The HFR does this movie even less of a service, since now it feels you're watching a reality show with Navi people, or a poor Navi-tional Geographic documentary...
All in all... Hollywood is becoming more and more dumb... But perhaps it's just alright for the new generations that they want educated without real principles or values or spirituality...
Bones and All (2022)
Cannibalism at its... worst? or peak?
Oh well... here we go again.
This is just another overton-window Hollywood attempt to get us used to the idea of cannibalism, as being something acceptable (see the humanmeatproject website, it's an actual thing - and also other similar places online).
Or, if you wish, a new level of Twilight, where vampires/cannibals aren't something to kill right away, but they have feelings, they fall in love, they can also be ped*philes - all acceptable things, in the "new normal".
The "movie" (not really a movie) is degrading the main actors, defiling the very idea of movie experience, and causing nausea and disgust in any sane mind.
But I'm sure many will like it - which shows how filthy their minds have become.
The Lion King (2019)
P*litical c*rrectness and lack of Spirit makes for a bland rehash
Lion King was a grandiose movie, with profound messages and symbols.
The original Lion King, not this one, unfortunately.
Here they massacred the very Heart of it, the spiritual center... and dressed the rest of it in good CGI.
Jeremy Iron is unreplaceable in his voice of Scar... Chiwetel's voice acting is too bland for it.
James Earl Jones is old... and his vocal expression reflects that. Mufasa has not the original Strength that made him King.
The other voices are so-so... moments of good and moments of bland.
P*litical c*rrectness is also a disaster for this movie. They allow nasty words, cutting out the: "Pumba! Not in front of the kids!" and letting him say the f*rt word... but they cut out the Vision of the Spirit of Mufasa (the very Core of this movie!!), and change his words into something more neutral and down-to-earth... This was the moment when this movie was ruined...
Now it looks like a National Geographic version of Lion King. Nothing more.
Speak No Evil (2022)
"Why are you doing this to me?..." "Because you let me."
"Why are you doing this to me?..." "Because you let me." Says the psychopath as he is about to stone the victims to death.
A lesson for every pu*sy male who abandons his masculinity and thus can lose his child, his wife, his family, his own life.
The predators have no weapons, yet the silly politically correct family lets another family kidnap their daughter, cut her tongue out while the mother holds her in her arms, drive them to a deserted place then STAYS THERE UNTIL THEY STONE THEM TO DEATH!!!!!
Who in their rightful mind would do that?
So many have let themselves deprived of liberty, of children, of wives, of human rights, by the govts these past 3 years... Under the politically correct agenda, under the "toxic masculinity" scam...
Men, don't be pu*sies - this should be the only lesson (and an EXTREMELY important one!) to learn from this otherwise stupid movie.
Star Wars: Tales of the Jedi (2022)
Superb!
It will fill your soul - and satisfy your thirst for quality Star Wars movies.
Not rushed at all, unfolding at a slow, ideal pace, this series will leave you in a meditative state, like the good movies of old, captivating your mind and soul. Because this is what Star Wars is about - the Force, and the Jedi, wielders of the Force, become living embodiments of the Living Force. And this series will return your mind/attention to this essence of SW.
It also fills some gaps left by the first trilogy, revealing some key names and characters from the first episodes.
All in all, Filoni did it again - only this time it's even better (on a deeper tone) than the Clone Wars series.
Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)
Michelle Yeoh, what a shame... what a waste...
I guess her wonderful "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon" days are gone... and now she's acting in... movies (?) made by drugged deranged psychos...
All the good reviews are from so many drug-addicted or metaverse-wishing people that populate our planet nowadays - and this shows what a deranged planet Earth has become...
Firestarter (2022)
Who's to blame?
Who's more guilty for a really really bad, really poor movie?
Is it the director and screenplayer? For creating while they lack creativity and try to copy and mash together scenes from other famous movies?
Is it the actors? Who sign contracts for such mega-stupid movies?
Is it the drugs that both categories use? Which kill creativity and numbs the intellect, so they don't have any discernment at all anymore?
Mary Magdalene (2018)
A black Peter? hahaha...
Seriously? A black Apostle Peter?
Aside from other bad things in this movie, this is one desperate attempt to "black-lives-matter" the movie, making the head of the Apostles, of 100% genuine Jewish origin, frickin black! :)))
The beginning (or middle) of the fall (and satanization) of Hollywood.
Licorice Pizza (2021)
Watching the paint dry...
...would be the same experience.
A tease of a movie, with a tease of a gal - she won't give you anything, the same way this movie doesn't give you any satisfaction, any feeling except you're being robbed of 2 hours of your life.
But, hey, if you're on drugs, then stupid things make more sense, right? It's the LA - it's always been like this.
Scream (2022)
Good cinematography, but...
...but that's about all the good about this movie. Stupid choices, bad lines, old wrinkled characters mixed with new (cute but psycho) young characters... A movie that will leave you with an empty feeling, like you've been STABbed... And - of course! - they HAD TO include lesbians too...
Vacation Friends (2021)
More like a horror movie
A horrendous vomit of drugged crew & cast - it's horrifying how this abomination was ever made. But the way most of Hollywood became after this plandemic, it's almost no wonder... Drunk, drugged or idiotic people will like it.
Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard (2021)
Vulgar, weak, stupid movie - perfect for fans of the new normal
Hollywood has become a propaganda tool for "the new normal" - and it seems the actors who embraced and propagated it have become duller, more stupid, and their movies too. All 3 main characters in this movie are among them (don't know about Banderas).
This is a mess of a "movie", which destroys the memory of the previous one (one of the best action comedies of the decade). It left me nauseous. But the tik-tok loving people will find entertainment in it.
Those Who Wish Me Dead (2021)
Weak, VERY WEAK movie
Such a weak movie - it really doesn't matter if Angelina is in it, since she's a political puppet anyway, her days of cinema glory are over...
Poor script, poor action - i only give it a 2 for the fire effects.
Mulan (2020)
Politically correct Mulan
The beauty of the main actress isn't enough to carry a whole movie - such a legendary movie.
The hints to the theme songs are misplaced and unnecessary, if this version doesn't have the songs we all loved.
No fun, no wits, no soul, in this movie. I had to re-watch the original cartoon after it finished - it left me unfulfilled... like it stole something from me.
It Chapter Two (2019)
An homage to human mental degradation
Watching this "movie", you see how much society has degraded, how some human beings (like this director) can vomit their mental sickness and make a film advertised as a blockbuster.
Almost 3 hours of your life that you will never get back. But if you really wanna see it, wait for the online version. I thought IMAX would make it worth seeing... I was so wrong...
X-Men: Dark Phoenix (2019)
Fod God's sake, please stop making movies
It's difficult to destroy the best franchise from the Marvel Universe... and yet this director somehow managed to...
The acting is clearly dull from the very first scenes - McAvoy was a fantastic actor in Days of Future Past (and also in First Class), nicely paired with the huge talents of Hugh Jackman and Fassbender... but here, not only does he not act at all, but - Dear God Almighty!!! - he is turned into the bad guy (because that's the trend in some foggy minds of Hollywood these days), he is accused by his students, whom he taught, formed their characters and helped to grow into compassionate beings...
...and he is deprived of his School?!?!?! at the end of the movie the "Xavier School for gifted youngsters" changes name to Jean Grey School?!?!?! Seriously?!?! (what did she do to deserve such an honor???)
and the fundament, the basis, the Heart, the Mind, the One who formed and gathered them all together... is reduced to a sad (not even old!) man who wastes his time as a retired old man and Magneto comes to him to sweeten his days of exile by treating him to a final game of chess?!?!?!?!
To destroy the very core of X-Men is to destroy the X-Men... and somehow this "director" has managed to do so... and i'm sure it wasn't unwillingly...
The acting was utterly bad (the good actors had no script to act with, Sophie Turner had no talent to act with) - the music was utterly nonsensical (Hans dear, stop falling asleep on the keyboard while composing), the same score stretched continuously for half a movie, then a slightly different score playing continuously for the other half... - the dialogue was stuttered (for all of them) - the camera angles with lots of close-ups tried to give the illusion of emotional weight, but failed miserably - the whole movie felt like a looooong bad dream, or like the spawn of someone who messed up his brain with some w**d and then got into the director's and writer's chair...
Applauses, simon k., for destroying such an wonderful franchise!...
Beauty and the Beast (2017)
Horrible!!! Horrible!!! Horrible!!!
In a world... where originality and creativity has gone down the drain... (because of too many mushrooms and weed smoked) even the mighty Disney empire has been plagued by mediocre and sub-mediocre unintelligent people who decided to put their few neurons to work - and created this utter nonsensical useless boring dull uninspired (and very much expired) piece of sh**. So they chose an actress who had relations up there - because this is how things often worked in Hollywood - but in spite of their efforts to auto-tune her voice and dress her in colorful stuff, she still damaged the image of the original Belle of Disney. A broomstick up her a$$, her reactions were so much more unemotional than those of the petrified castle servants... & the beast? absolutely horrendous to watch, also pretty much wooden... and an insult to the original cartoon of 1991
WHO STILL REMAINS ONE OF DISNEY'S MASTERPIECES
(from a time when the minds and hearts of people making movies there were less affected by darkness).
It's best to revisit the old masterpieces. I am afraid of how the future rehashes will look...
Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) (2014)
Unexpected? not really
In a time when cr*p is considered art, this movie may be indeed "art". When you forget what Art is (namely, the search for Beauty), anything that's strange, anything that looks weird, any movie that's unlike the majority of movies, is considered "artistic", and may be a candidate for awards... Let's just film a lot in one shot... and call ourselves artistic artists... shall we?...
And this, my friends, is what ignorance is.
Is this a virtue? You know it's not... The very word "virtue" stands for something completely different.
Is this unexpected? If you've lived with your eyes open for the past 10 years, it won't surprise you as something unexpected - the general trend has been to numb people's minds and to get them into darker places, to anesthetize them to the real values, to the real virtues, to the real Beauty, to the real Art.
Kong: Skull Island (2017)
Completely useless remake - CGI fest for the brain-dead
This movie is a completely useless remake of a King Kong movie - the monkey is uglier (but if you look at it close-up through a lens it looks scarier, right? - wrong!) They replaced the T-Rex-es with a different kind of creatures that perhaps look scarier if they throw them at you in 3D, or in 4DX, when they splash you with water at the same time... And, yes, for the 4DX viewing this is a good "ride" - when the monsters fight the chairs are moving intensely and you're splashed and sprayed and rained with water and air and scents... it's a good amusement park ride. But other than that, in the moments when the actors... "act" (do they?!)... this movie is pure boredom. A 5-year old would have written a better script. None of the actors matter, none stick with you (other than, maybe, the American chick in tank top who shows she's got some boobs and that's why they put her there) So, if you need a 4DX ride and you can do something else when there's no monsters fighting on the screen, see the movie. If you'll see it in plain 3D or IMAX... you'll be really sorry you wasted the money. Honestly. PS Who the f**k is paying a**holes to make the rating look so high for dumb movies like this? and write pompous reviews?... Are they smoking something?... A Dog's Purpose got a 3-4 in his opening week, although it was a fun, warmhearted movie, just because PETA got upset with some nonsense stuff (human actors are way more traumatized during filming than that dog who was just being put into the water) - and dumb movies like this one have 7-8 scores?!?! So IMDb is clearly manipulated... You can't rely on the ratings here anymore...
Last Days in the Desert (2015)
Shame on you Obi-Wan Kenobi - you were our (only?) hope
The film begins in an interesting way - immersing you (somewhat) into the atmosphere... but that's about it. From then onward, this movie has nothing to do with Jesus in the desert.
If the director would have done just a liiiiitle bit of research into the life of ascetics who went into the desert to pray and fast... he would have made a much better movie. But this movie is a shame...
This is not how a spiritual master (or even more, the Son of God Himself) prepares for the mission to save mankind by taking upon His shoulders all their sins... Not by wandering here and there and getting his head into mirages that the desert produces.
According to this director, Jesus broke his fast (when the family invited him to eat, he eventually eats a bite), Jesus asks the devil (seriously?!) about the destiny of that kid, Jesus asks the devil how God is?!?!?!?!?! Seriously?!?!?! How huge an incompetence this is? What kind of person would make such a movie?...
None of the dialogues from the Bible are there - just made-up stuff that doesn't rhyme with the tone of the story...
No serious prayers or meditations from "Jesus" (he's also scared of the devil, mind you!...) - no significant insight into the human nature, into spirituality, into TEMPTATION... into evolution... into HIS MISSION... It could have at least been a movie about the old Obi-Wan in the wastelands on Tatooine... But this character is way below even that...
Shame on you, Obi-Wan Kenobi - for taking up such a role... It would have been your most important role...
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)
THE BEST Superhero Movie of All Times !!
Although the first time I saw it some of the parts of the movie seemed to not "flow" harmoniously, the second time it all made perfect sense!...
This is one beautifully crafted, directed with a lot of heart, superbly shot masterpiece of a movie!!! It takes the superhero genre to a whole different level, higher, more complex (than your silly Avengers with the silly Stan Lee cameos), with mythological and religious references (because where else would you go with this kind of movies?).
People have complained that superhero movies don't have character development - now that this movie has achieved this almost perfectly they complain that it's too long. Others complain there's too many explosions, Michael Bay stuff... others that it's not enough Batman fighting Superman (the director put "v" instead of "vs" exactly to emphasize that!)... others that they don't do justice to this or that...
Well - i've seen people in the theater scrolling on their phones and making noise and walking around during the movie - which shows they didn't actually WANT to be there and actually see the movie. THESE are the people who write bad reviews for this movie. People with short attention span, people who aren't used to using their neurons too much, just mindlessly watching something different than reality (exclusive Marvel fans with a one-track mind), people who don't appreciate classical literature (Greek dramas, Shakespeare, etc.) - these types of people will naturally write bad reviews - BECAUSE THIS MOVIE SURPASSES THEIR LEVEL OF COMPREHENSION. It makes them THINK - it makes them understand symbolism... and this is something they're not used to. Therefore they're angry.
(and for some of those people, just a reminder: Marvel is a copy of the DC universe. Or a distant nephew... DC was founded in 1938 - Marvel in 1960)
This movie is a masterpiece in portraying these iconic characters in a new light - its action is superb, its build-up towards a magnificent finale is flawless, and its ending, especially the final second... is THE BEST ENDING IN MOVIE HISTORY.
Zack has been really clever in premiering this movie on the Good Friday - if you understand the symbolism in the last part of the movie, you CANNOT but LOVE this superb masterpiece.
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 2 (2015)
Stuuuupiddd.... intensely stupidddd....!!!!!!!
I swore to myself i won't see this movie, after i was extrrrremely disappointed by the previous one...
And yet I did, today... a decision i will try to stop regretting quickly... as i don't wanna ever remember this movie...
There were maybe 2 action scenes in the whole movie that looked good... but before and after... only the BLAND STUPID catatonic face of Kat-less Everdumb... The director is obviously fascinated/infatuated with this actress, to always follow her closely with the camera despite the fact that she's never able to change her facial expression (teaching teenagers everywhere to become emotionless, that's the cool way, and to choose stupid-looking boyfriends who preferably have a mental history or at least hate them from time to time... over good-looking ones who really care about them).
In the end Kat-less Everdumb finds her happiness, when she breaks her Kat-less nature, almost against her will... and becomes Kat-ness, when she finally embraces the reality of her name (in the form of a real Kat).
DUMB, DUMB, DUMBBBBBB movie..... i hoped the humor will erase the memory of it... but nahh.... I HIGHLY RECOMMEND clever, intelligent, funny, warm-hearted, action or drama or romance or history or... whatever... movies... instead of this epic failure of an attempt to milk money from silly people...
However, if you wanna feel like throwing up at the end, like i did... please go see the mo-f**king-jay part 2. You will feel raped.
Backcountry (2014)
Stupid movie with idiotic people - for stupid viewers
Just another stupid movie made by a newbie brain-deficient director from Canada, where the IQs are so low that anyone with Canadian survival skills can get eaten by a vegetarian black bear.
Just another stupid movie where people make stupid mistakes - therefore they die like stupid people...
In truth, there are NO survival skills to learn about in this movie. Just another 90-minute waste of your time, with stupid dialogue, stupid acting, stupid shots, EXTREMELY uninteresting landscapes... everything you need to stay away from.
Especially if you love Nature - and if you truly love Movies.
THIS IS NOT REALLY A MOVIE. Guy should have gone into potato business instead.