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Reviews
Star Wars: Revelations (2005)
You call this a star wars movie?
Considering all the praise this movie received, I was deeply disappointed. It doesn't look or feel like a star wars movie at all. I felt like I was watching some cheap 80's excuse of an action movie made in Mexico. One thing that really turned me off is the music. It's not even real music- it's like a midi alternative! I mean it comes up with STAR WARS and a midi sequence of the star wars song. How extremely cheap!
The next thing is the characters. None of them were star wars like at all. The emperor's hand made me nauseous. She looked like some Gothic chick at a local high school. There is nothing to make her look like she is from the star wars galaxy. I know I sound sexist in this next comment but I'm really not. There are too many female roles in this film! Whoever made it must be really up on girl power or something. And the female roles are done poorly. In the star wars movies, they were mainly either politicians or Jedi, all dressed in a very star-warsish way, most of them some other form of aliens. None of them were wearing loads of makeup, kinky clothes, or anything like that. Plus how could you have a female play an evil sith? only a male character would properly fill that role. I don't have anything against women, but it just doesn't produce the right effect. Especially one of those hot-stuff, "I'm a girl with an attitude" kind of characters. They just don't exist in star wars. It's like trying to make a big burly guy play the role of a fairy princess, only without the humor.
ANd there are too many human characters and not enough aliens. put some effort into costumes!
Even Star Wars: Broken Allegience is a better fan-made film than this, and that one sucked too. At least Broken Allegience was pretty on-point as far as the star wars feeling is concerned, but it seemed more like a power-ranger episode as the show progressed. This one was no better.
That was the biggest waste of 20,000 dollars to make it, people, and a waste of download time on my part.
Histeria! (1998)
Educational and entertaining
I am among those who watched this show when it first came out when I was in Jr. High. It was very funny and they had a way of twisting things so they became ridiculous. My favorite episode was probably the one where Lief Erikson was picking out a figurehead for his Viking Ship. It is true that this show can be sort of annoying at times, but it's not really that bad. The people who criticize it for the depiction of the evil dictators are taking it too seriously. It's true that Genghis khan and all them up to Josef Stalin are evil dictators, but they didn't actually show the evil stuff they did on the show. They just covered that part of history, and depicted it humorously because that's what the show is all about. It wasn't really harmful. The one thing that I have against this show is that sometimes the twist to the story that is added for humor purposes sometimes confused me of the actual occurrence in history.
Ben-Hur (1959)
Breath-taking; possible THE perfect movie.
I think I can safely say that in my opinion, this is the best movie ever made. Its dramatic value is fantastic, and I've never seen a better storyline. The costumes were also incredible. The actors portrayed the best purest form of both ancient Roman and old Judean culture. This film also had quite an emotional effect. The way that Christ's face is never visible nor his voice audible to the audience creates a feeling of reverence to the actual person of Jesus. Lew Wallace also did an amazing job portraying the innocence, kindness, and mercy of Jesus, and his effect on the main character, Judah Ben Hur. Hur's ending quote, "I felt him take the sword out of my hand" was a wonderful picture of his changing. I admit, I am a Christian, but even for those who are not this is still a great film. The message boards confirm that. I recognize that there are some people that require constant action to keep their attention. If this is your case, than this movie is not for you, as it has a lot of dialogue. But I recommend this movie 100%.
The Little Kidnappers (1990)
Full of culture, not action
I turned my TV onto channel 20 and saw this movie on the "UPN Saturday Cinema." The only reason I didn't change the channel was because it had Charlton Heston in it. As I watched, I found that the movie was composed mostly of the antics of two chubby Scottish kids and the romantic struggle of Mackenzie's daughter and the doctor guy, who wanted to be accepted by Mackenzie (Heston) so's they can get married. Mackenzie softened up at the end after the kids were tried for secretly keeping a baby they found on the shore. I noticed a lot of culture, as the movie took place in the Scottish-Dutch settlements of Canada in the early 20th century. As far as action, there was none, and as the movie ended, I was only confused. I only stayed 'till the end 'cause Indiana Jones came on next anyways.
American Outlaws (2001)
Very corny; bad acting and costume
I thought this movie was quite corny as the characters seem to excel perfectly without a single challenge. Also, the parts of the movie that were intended to be funny turned out to be very stupid. The costumes were terrible. They were not authentic at all to the intended time period. A lot of the haircuts were modern. It seemed more like what you would see at a modern rodeo. (Didn't know they had hair gel in the 1800's.) I didn't really get to like any of the characters. I would normally think that a guy who robbed banks and stole from innocent people would be considered a bad guy, but not in this movie. Despite the action, I was very bored. Not a family movie. I don't recommend the movie.
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)
Good mov
This was a great movie-lots of action, and the pirate kind of theme is intriguing and exciting. Only a couple of corny lines. Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) pretty much made the whole movie. The guy's wierd, and pretty funny to watch. This movie will probably scare your kids to death, so if you watch it try not to watch it around them.
The Majestic (2001)
Great movie.
I must say that this is probably the only Jim Carrie movie that I like. Many of his other films I found to be incredibly stupid excuses of what was considered "comedy." I was not disappointed in his work here.
Turner & Hooch (1989)
Oh, brother.
I must say that this is seriously one of the stupidest movies that I have EVER seen. Personally, I am not one of those wierdos who values the lives of dogs more than those of humans. I also was very bored, and was disappointed in the stupidity portrayed by the famous Tom Hanks. Plot? and (more importantly) Point? Not much here. I dunno who could come up with such a pathetic storyline. I was kinda embarrassed watching this. Don't waste your money or your time on this film...
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)
Don't watch. Find something wholesome and pure.
This movie is completely sick. It is about everything that I would not want to see in a movie. It tries to make a comedy out of a man who is disrespectful and obscene to everyone, and rather unfaithful to his wife... I don't find adultery to be humorous. It's not really even funny. Don't waste your money bringing this movie home.
The Visual Bible: Matthew (1993)
Great!
This is the BEST Jesus movie I have ever seen. Everything said by Jesus and the narrator in this movie are exact words that come directly from the Bible. This also greatly portrays the actual character of Jesus Christ I highly recommend this movie.
Jesus (1999)
Lame... Watch "Matthew" instead.
This movie is NOT biblically accurate, and it seems to give more credit to the virgin Mary than it does our Lord Jesus, who is the one worthy of praise(not Mary)! Try another Jesus movie. I recommend the movie entitled "Matthew." This tells the life of Jesus according to the book of Matthew. EVERYTHING IN THE MOVIE "MATTHEW" COMES DIRECTLY FROM THE BIBLE!