Change Your Image
Maedhros35
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
The Union (2024)
Worse than you think it is, even if you think it's worse than you thought.
I've seen many "meh" movies on Netflix, but this one is quite near the bottom of the pile. It fills all the typical Netflix cliches: Bumbling white male fool is way out of his depth while trained by highly competent black woman for a top-seecret mission he has no idea about. The mission then fails - of course - and the highly competent black woman has to save his behind.
The movie is listed as an "action comedy", but while there's plenty of action there's zero comedy. It's more like how a dream: a disjointed mess of scenes making little sense and no underlying storyline.
As a movie, it's a complete waste of time, except when you're a very big fan of Halle Berry.
Michiel de Ruyter (2015)
A nice history lesson; perhaps not for foreigners
"Michiel de Ruyter" is a historical drama depicting the last 20-ish years of his life, between the "Battle of Scheveningen" and his death. This was a very turbulance period in Dutch history: the country had just finished a brual 80-years war against the Spanish, only to be attacked by the English (multiple times) and in 1672 by the English, the French and the Germans at once (the "Rampjaar"). Nevertheless the Netherlands survived, not in the least because of the military brilliance of de Ruyter.
As a movie, it quite accurately depicts the events of those years, although somewhat condensed (for example: his children hardly age in the 20+ years between the first battle and the last battle). For non-Dutch people (and even for many Dutch people) it may be quite difficult to follow the plot. The filming is quite good and many 17-th century houses were used as filmic locations.
Ender's Game (2013)
Just... meh
Let me start by mentioning the good points about the movie, which is the fighting part. Both the.battle room simulations during his education as the actual battles against the Formics have been rendered in exquisite detail and with excellent quality. Which are most of the good points. Otherwise, as they saying goes: "There's good parts and original parts, but the original parts aren't good and the good parts aren't original".
The main deviation between the book and the film is the fact that in the book Ender is unaware of the possibility that the Formics are peaceful, while in the film it keeps popping up in his head. That results in a drastically different ending: instead of the Russian-American war in the book, Ender is angry when it turns out that the Formics may have been peaceful. A weaker option since no cummunication between humans and formics had been established in 50 years.
Otherwise the film feels very rushed and some parts are quite underdeveloped, even taking into account the two hour running time of the film. Only one Battle School scene is portrayed where the Dragons have their own team, and none where Ender is a full-fledged member of a team (although they did portray the part where he was part of Bonzo Madrids team).
All in all I managed to finish the movie, but I can't really recommend it, espeicially not to people who liked the book.
Richard Hammond's Workshop (2021)
Not the best
The three gentlemen of Top Gear (or should I say: The Grand Tour) apparently decided each to have a show of their own. And as wokeness has it these days each of them is a dumb white oaf: Clarkson knows nothing about farming, May about cooking and apparently Hammond has no idea about either running a business or car restoration. And his shows only made him a little money, since has to sell some of his old cars and motorbikes to fund the operation.
Of course this is all fake: Richard Hammond didn't got where is is now if wasn't able to hold is own in business and therefore most is fake and probably scripted. So over the episodes my attention waned until I got really bored with the show.
I don't think I'll bother to watch the second season, should it arrive.
Enola Holmes (2020)
Unremarkable
As neon-green-and-pink and terrible hair is iconic for the 1980's and grunge is for the 1990's, political correctness will forever be associated with the first quarter of this century - and this movie is a quintessential product of this politicall correctness.
Of course, all men are evil - if only by association as is Sherlock Holmes, who stands by idly and does nothing while his evil bitter and overbearing brother - who hates independent women - tries to send the protagonist off.
And all women are heroes - even mothers who abandon their daughter to these evil men while leaving wihout providing any reason (on the 16th birthday of that daughter, moreover).
The rest of the movie is quite stale and predictable, and Ms Brown is okay but not that great.
Mostly suited for girls 12-16; otherwise a no-no.
Shadowhunters: The Mortal Instruments (2016)
Strong start and weak finish
"Shadowhunters: The Mortal Instruments" tarts off great with beautiful people, a good storyline and good usic. The first series - where the protagonist discovers the Shadowhunters world and her powers, can be recommended to anyone who liked modern fantasy series like the Shannara Chronicles.
The second series is not as good but still nice. The same amount of story which fit in thirteen episodes is now extended to a full twenty episodes and the story arcs suffer likewise with much fluff and less story.
The third (also known as 3a and 3b) series are a great letdown. The story heads off in a new direction (I won't spoil how or why) and the fluff vs core content mixture is now 90% fluff vs 10% core story. I was glad when I had finally suffered through the full twenty-two episodes before knowing the ending of the series.
Emanuelle e gli ultimi cannibali (1977)
Quite terrible
This movie is a combination of cannibal goreism (comparable to the later-made Cannibal Holocaust) and soft-core pornography. As such it will please only a few and let down most of the audience for these movies: the porn-lovers will find the sex to be too softcore (as with most movies starring Laura Gemser) and the gore to be too hardcore; the gore-lovers will think the gore is too soft and there's too much sex in it.
Its only saving grace is (again) Laura Gemser, whose beauty radiates off the screen. Nevertheless, even she can't save this mess.
Instinct (2018)
Short-lived politically correct 2nd hand version of Elementary
This series is a lot like "Elementary", so it will probably appeal to fans of that franchise. There's a male-female team (check) where one of them is a brilliant mind (check) with some excentricities (check). The partner (the woman, check) is quite level-headed and keeps his irregular behaviour somewhat in check (check).
It's also very politically correct as per the end of season one: One of the protagonists is gay (and married and looking to adopt a child); Their supervisor is a young black woman, the mayor of New York (the setting of the series) is a woman and none of the protagonists is a straight White male.
The bad guys are though: without exception they are White and/or male and in most cases both. So for those of you with a politically correct inclination there is much to enjoy.
The writing is mediocre the dialogues are okay but nothing special and the first series is lacking an overarching plotline, which I would have liked. Given that they canceled the series after the second season, in all probability one never surfaced.
Shortbus (2006)
Nah, too weird.
This movie is just plain weird. There's lots of sex in it, but I'm fine with that. It's the strange filming, the weird characters, the dialogue - it was really too weird for me. If you want to try - try the first ten-fiteen minutes. If by then you're still interested, this may be your movie.
Game of Thrones (2011)
An afternoon in Raqqa - but with dragons in it.
I really can't tell what people like about this series. It's labeled as "fantasy" but mostly it could be labeled as "war " or "horror". The series as a whole is utterly depressing - everyone dies or gets raped or mutilated and it drags on and on from one morose black point to the next.
If you like "Lord of the Rings" or "Shannara Chronicles", then please do not bother with this one. If you like " the human centipede" or "a serbian movie", then this gorefest will probably be of your taste.
Charmed (2018)
It's bad, although maybe not as bad as many people write
As i'm writing this, 43% of the voters on this esteemed website has allocated a '1' as their vote for this show. Being an avid wacher of the original show right up to the moment where that one got really terrible, I can imagine what they feel.
Not only is the plot rushed - the whitelighter and the Elders are already introduced in the first two episoded, as is the Source of all Evil - the attempt to 'modernize' the thing to 2018 is cringeworthy. Examples include the exact equal division of the lead actresses across the races in the US, the blatant diversity in support cast, the fact that one of the main sisters is LBGTXYZABC, etc. Even a stab at Brexit and President Trump is apparently not below the scriptwiters.
Having said that, it's not all bad. The special effects are quite good and you feel that the producers and writers - as far as is possible within their small, politically correct minds - have really tried to create a faithful copy of the original. Maybe they'll relent. Until that time, there are worse shows to watch.
Outback Opal Hunters (2018)
Nothing really happens
It's the "opal" version of Deadliest Catch or Ice Road Truckers. And just like in the other series, nothing really happens. The voice-over tries to emphasize some urgency - running out of money or time - and creates some sort of tension: "Have they found a real big opal?" And - of course - they haven't. So the episode soldiers on from location to location, about 3 or 4 in total. At the end of the episode none of the lives has really changed - except for mine since I lost about 40 minutes of my time.
Cutthroat Kitchen (2013)
AtrocioIus
I can't really tell to which target audience the show's creators are trying to appeal - either game shows or cooking competitions, but in my case they missed the mark in both cases by miles.
The cooking element is severly hindered by whatever sabotages the contestants throw at each other, meaning that the biggest jerk will probably win The cooking itself seems to be only secondary. Given the crippling effect of the different sabotages it's surprising anything palatable leaves the kitchen.
For a cookin competetion: watch Gordon Ramsey or Master Chef; for a Game Show: watch anything you like. But don't watch this pile of crap.
The Shannara Chronicles (2016)
Not bad - give it a chance
Having seen 8 out of 10 episodes and not having read the book, I must say the Shannara Chronicles are "not bad", and I would recommend anyone who liked (for example) the Hobbit to give it a try.
If you're a Game-of-Thrones fan, then you'll probably find this too much young adult lacking real graphic violence and sex. For me, it was exactly right and I was dragged into the story right away.
Extra kudo's for the CGI team who created some wonderful bad guys.
How to Get Away with Murder (2014)
Past its prime
This show started of on a high note by using a two-prong strategy: the case-of-the-week (invariably won by the "brilliant" attorney and her team of bright students) and the overarching story which was brought to us by way of flashbacks.
Unfortunately, this mechanism can only work for so long and by the 9th episode the whole story is revealed to the public. From that moment it becomes more a drama than a mystery and the writers apparently wish to reveal a "softer side" to the characters. All this makes the show somewhat less interesting. The final truth of the show will probably be revealed at the end of season one and I doubt there is any way the show can continue a second season.
The Big Bang Theory: The Workplace Proximity (2013)
Horrible
This episode was outright horrible. There was no real fun, Sheldon was an obnoxious bully, Howard was stupid and Leonard was mean. And Amy's constantly whining-irritated voice gets on my nerve. I sure hope they retrieve some of the fun that was present in the first three seasons. Lowlights of the episode included: - Sheldon making fun of other people's names and ethnicity; Shelton telling on Howard like a toddler telling on his fellow classmate; Sheldon's pure arrogance when rejecting Amy and during the dinner. And, as people pointed out in the board, the writing team is losing the character traits. Sheldon would *never* go to the bathroom in the evening.
Naked and Afraid (2013)
Not as good as it sounds.
The premise of the show sounds fine: two people on a survival trek *really* old-fashioned: Naked, just like the proverbial Adam and Eve all those years ago. Don't worry: all private parts are blurred.
Unfortunately, in the episode I watched (#2, but also in the first episode, if the reviews are correct), the guy was as thick as a brick and a "typical American": male chauvinistic, feeling degraded when he had to do what he regarded as "woman's work" and totally incapable of cooperation. While cooperation is more the key to survival than anything else.
By contrast, the woman was quite level-headed and ready for compromises and cooperations.
I really wondered about the lack of survival skills of the people. Any attempt at hunting failed miserably, it took them two days to start a fire, and any fish they caught was purely by accident.
To summarize: it was okay to watch, but the people were totally unsuited for the challenge and the execution of the show is not as good as it might have been. I hope next time they get some people who know what they are doing.
Nikita (1997)
Horrible
I'm more-or-less forced to watch this horrible show (with daily reruns on the local cable), and and can't see what people like about it. It has no heroes: everyone is a cold-blooded murderer / terrorist. The "counter-terrorism" of Section-One amounts to the same terrorism they say they battle, including wanton torture, executions and kidnapping (everyone in section one is basically kidnapped). Not to mention the fact that the psychopath called Operations pisses of the most deadly secret agents of the company on a daily basis and still seems to get away from it.
Add to this the bleary decor, the "whispering" that seems to be meant to indicate threat and the repetitive setup of each episode, and my abjection is complete.
The Fashion Show (2009)
The Chinese copy of "Project Runway"
The easiest way to review this show with "Project Runway", the show presented by Heidi Klum, is to make an analogy with fashion.
Whereas Project Runway is a Gucci bag, The Fashion Show is the Chinese copy that you can buy for 5 Euro at the market or from a salesman on the sidewalk. It looks the same, it differs just a bit and if you take a good look you see that it's a very cheap copy and that it will no way last as long as the original.
The unemployed Kelly Rowland is nowhere near Heidi Klum, the format is somewhat inferior and the contestants look like cheap copies of the ppl who take part in Runway.
I doubt this one will last more than two seasons *at most*.
Holiday Showdown (2003)
Predictable and rather boring
The idea of this series is simple but elegant: take two families and have them spend two weeks together. One week they'll spend having a typical holiday of one family, and the next week the holiday of the other family.
But: just taking any two families would not raise enough cheap fun or (:shudder:) may actually result in some harmony amongst the families. So the series' editors carefully pick two families with very opposite world views - mostly working class "trashy" families vs middle or upper class culture fans.
The inevitable happens: the first week is spent binge-drinking in Salou or Ibiza (much to the dismay of the culture fans), and the 2nd week is spent walking in rural Kazakhstan with no pub in a range of 50 miles. After a few days of being presented with the opposite lifestyle the family rebels (either silently or openly), and any leftover frustration can be vented during the final dinner.
Sounds like fun? It rather isn't. Each episode is the same as all the others - I was amazed at the amount of 120+ kilo women England seems to feature. The trashy families are all the same and so are the cultural families. Even the clash moments are predictable.
The final question, which unfortunately remains unanswered, is why anyone would actually bother to enter the series. You *know* you will be exposed to a holiday you actually detest, with people you equally detest.
Victorian Farm (2009)
Nice series - especially for those who liked "Tales of the Green Valley"
Three people of the team that made "Tales of the Green Valley" in 2004 came back and recreated the Victorian Age (2nd half of the 19th century). Just like in "Tales", the three reenact the period with the help of experts in the field, dressing like the period and mainly using tools from that age.
If you liked Tales of the Green Valley, you will probably also like this series (which was broadcast on the BBC in the winter months of 2009). The protagonists, script and formula are about the same, which yields a fun and enlightening experience. It's a pity though, that Chloe is not working in this series. She was quite the fun note in "Tales".
Grey's Anatomy: It's the End of the World (2006)
The Quintessential episode.
This episode of Grey's Anatomy (normally not my show) is the absolute sum-mum of what an episode in a recurring series can bring. Plot, humor, a thriller, sex, good music... this episode may perhaps not be surpassed by any series, and can be put on level with Tarantino's episode on CSI Las Vegas.
The best part of it may be that it's part one of a two-part episode, ending on a thrilling cliffhanger making one immediately grab the next episode.
Small summary of the episode: a seriously injured man is brought in by a ambulance worker (played by Christina Ricci), along with him comes Dr. Bailey in labor and her husband, who crashed in traffic. Ten minutes later, the hospital is evacuated and everyone in the hospital is in danger of their lives....
Keeping Up with the Kardashians (2007)
Scripted, Fake Junk - the worst of the "reality" shows.
Since my SO is sort of a fan of "reality" shows I sometimes watch (parts of) the whole plethora of series: Hugh Hefner, Hulk Hogan, Sunset Tan, Jessica Simson to name a few have all passed our TV screens. Of these, KUWtK is certainly the worst: the acting is worst, the scripting is worst, the people are the ugliest, making it the low point so far in reality world.
The series is more-or-less Snowwhite and the Seven Dwarfs - except that snow white is male and the dwarfs are called Oldy (Kris), Dopey (Kim) and Ugly (I can't be bothered to look up her name - it's the fat one).
The show somehow pretends to be a reality show but everything about it is scripted, which is clear for everyone to see. For example: the half-naked "babysitter", which Oldy "hires" in reality is a famous porn star, who at the end of the day gets "fired" by some of the others.
In short: it's absolute Junk.
Fitna (2008)
Good film, clear success for Geert Wilders
The long-awaited 'Fitna' film by Geert Wilders is finally out in the open, and the result is as good as may have been hoped. The film is short enough not to bore people and clearly proves two points to the target audience:
* That Islamic terrorism has a clear root in the Koran (many people see Islamic terrorists as misreading the Koran) and
* That the hateful verses in the Koran are still interpreted in that way today, unlike the Bible where no-one really takes those statements seriously anymore.
Minor points of criticism are that the violence in the movie is *really* graphic and that he choose only six aya to prove his point. But otherwise this movie is very good. It's non hate-inciting nature has the additional benefit that it totally shamed the statements made by the Dutch government.
Charmed: Morality Bites (1999)
A weak episode in an otherwise great 2nd season.
First of all, I would like to comment that Season Two may probably be the best season of Charmed - the story lines are better developed than in the first series, and it has all the fantasy I love about Charmed.
Having said that, this episode is one of the weaker of this season. My main objection against it is that it is inconsistent: * Prue, apparently being filthy rich lets her younger sister stay in a death cell, while all her money could probably get her a much lower sentence in a crime where there is absolutely no murder weapon present. The least she could do, is stall the execution indefinitely.
* The same apparently rich Prue does nothing to help her middle sister who lives in their ancestral home which is slowly falling apart at the seams.
* The sisters had the escape planned long in advance, but only execute it at the very last minute (in the most literal sense of the word).
* Phoebe is in season two the most unlikely sister to gain an active power, and a very deadly power at that.
* I didn't get the sequence from punishing an antisocial by playing a small prank on him (giving him his own back) to murder.
But: the next ones are way better....