TheEtherWalk
Joined Nov 2002
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Reviews122
TheEtherWalk's rating
Jesus Christ this is Cool Cat Saves the Kids all over again. Another butthurt director who made a terrible movie that everyone is laughing at is turning their inner shame into outward vitriol by trying to take down negative reviews in a transparently vindictive way under "fair use" law which shows a total misunderstanding of how that law works. Satires and commentaries fall under fair use as long as they add enough new content to the original work. Monetization is never a deciding factor. And wow this thing just keeps going with the "filmmaker" doing one immature thing on the internet after another. Man I haven't even seen this damned thing. I just wanted to share this unfolding idiotic saga with all of you awesome folks :^) I'm sure it's more entertaining than this film.
This has honestly some of the most nostalgia-bait character insertions, laziest plotting and the most ear-splittingly bad lines I've ever heard... seriously every time someone said something I literally said to myself "Wow that's the line they went with?" You know they were probably deciding between 5 or 6 different options for each one of these lines and they somehow went with the worst possible jokes and takes of said jokes that they could... Beebop and Rocksteady throwing out dick jokes in the middle of this thing just completely ruins any chance that this thing had of having a half decent tone... but let's talk about the plotting, and one scene in particular stands out in my mind which is the scene where Krang and Shredder meet... the way Shredder got there is nonsensical enough but then the scene is literally this: "Hey Shredder. I'm Krang. Let's team up and defeat the Turtles. We need this this and this MacGuffin" "Okay sure!" Like I'm only slightly paraphrasing here... Krang has almost zero introduction and I'm pretty sure a small child could have written something more interesting... these 'filmmakers' should be ashamed of themselves
I've already seen this movie twice and I already want to see it again!! Tom Holland and Jake Gyllenhaal absolutely nail their performances. The story is knowingly goofy but still heartfelt and carries on the great humor and character work established in Homecoming. Peter and MJ's relationship is unique and endearing. John Favreau also steals every scene he's in. JB Smoove's jokes didn't really land for me but it didn't bring the film down. The action is spectacular and worth seeing in 3D. The story has great twists and great themes about learning to trust ones own instincts and believe in ones self. Peter fully moves on from Tony's legacy and comes into his own in this film. In summary this movie has everything you want from a Spider-man film and from a great summer blockbuster. Go and see it!!!