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Parasites (2016)
Intense, gory survival horror paired with a psychological punch
This film is going to make you uncomfortable. If you're a gore-hound or adrenaline junkie, you'll definitely get what you want. You'll also get a head full of disturbing social-psychological horror that will leave you thinking for days. The story seems simple at first. Three innocent young men run afoul of a violent homeless gang. But who's really innocent? Who really are the bad guys? The good guys? The situation gets more complex as the action ratchets up. The direction is excellent and unnerving. There's something unique about the look of a Chad Ferrin movie that I can't quite put my finger on. The acting is top-notch. I want to mention that the use of sound and music is excellent and jarringly effective--another hallmark of a Ferrin film. This is a terrific movie, but go in with your eyes open, or you're gonna get gut-punched. You probably will anyway.
O. Unilateralis (2016)
Dark, disturbing feminist horror with a biohorror twist
Wow. This isn't an easy film to review. Its storyline seems straightforward: a road trip gone horribly wrong. But the narrative operates on so many levels. I can't go into what all of these are without dropping a spoiler, but I will say that it contains elements of eco-horror and sociological horror. The three main cast members do a fine job, particularly Mi Chelle Nessk's Abbie. Sweet and sheltered but smart and adventurous, she's a mix of classical horror movie victim and a new kind of character just beginning to find her strength. There's a sense of dread and doom almost from the start of this movie. Abbie is the light in the darkness, and as I watched, I grew more and more afraid for her. Anyway. I could talk about the levels of symbolism in O.U. for hours, but I won't. I want you to find them for yourself.
Androgynym (2016)
Beautiful, violent, heartbreaking and transcendent
First off, this movie is gorgeous. It's so well shot, and the art direction is amazing. I can see why it was categorized as horror--it contains body horror and lots of gore-- but I wouldn't call it a horror film. It's about reaching out beyond the meat sacks we live in and touching other people, essence to essence. It's about love and addiction and heartbreak. It's about violence, detachment, and the pain of re-engaging with life. The acting is, for the most part, wonderful. Part of the story is told with paper animation, a film within a film created by one of the two main characters. This sub-story weaves in and out of the main story, and resonates beautifully. Don't watch this film if you're already sad--it will yank your heart out and play racquetball with it. But if you're feeling strong and you want to see something truly original and inspired, watch Androgynym.
Truth or Dare (2013)
Intense, non-stop horror--not for the faint of heart!
I was lucky enough to see an early screening of this movie. I went in with certain expectations, suggested by the movie title, and by other "up the ante" type horror films. I was pleasantly surprised by the quality of the production and acting at the start of the movie. Then things took an intense twist. Okay, I was expecting that. What I wasn't expecting was the utterly shocking nature of the second half of the film. Mind you, I don't shock easily. I've seen just about everything. Twice. But this was horrifying in every sense of he word. It's not torture porn, it's more emotionally charged than that. And it has a twisty, interesting plot to go along with it. I found this movie to be refreshing and original. Plus, I love the fact that the writer and director is a woman. Anybody who says that women can't compete on the horror field need to take a good look at this movie. (And "American Mary." And a lot of other great films by women.) Anyway, highly recommended, if you have nerves of steel and a strong stomach.
Tucker and Dale vs Evil (2010)
Comedy/Horror Rises Again!
I just saw this tonight at SIFF in Seattle. Delightful! Hilarious, twisted, well-written and funny.
Didn't hurt that the filmmakers picked two of the funniest guys in the biz to play Tucker and Dale.
But this isn't just a farce. You end up really caring about the main characters.
And the scary character, when that person is revealed, is pretty dang scary.
Funniest thing I've seen since Zombieland, and I laughed so hard through Zombieland I thought I was gonna barf.
Do not miss this movie!
I Sell the Dead (2008)
Best horror comedy in years
I just saw this at SIFF, and I absolutely loved it. There were parts where I laughed so hard I couldn't catch my breath. The script and direction by Glenn McQuaid are fantastic. I can't wait to see more from this talented young man. The performances make the movie. Larry Fessenden and Dominic Monaghan are just delightful as the graverobber Willy and his apprentice Arthur. Ron Perlman turns in a fantastic performance (as usual) as a less-than-sympathetic jailhouse priest. Bonus: Angus Scrimm as an unscrupulous doctor! As always, he balances menace and humor perfectly.
This is a style of horror comedy that really hasn't been seen since Vincent Price did "Comedy of Terrors," "The Raven," and "Theater of Blood." The movie is genuinely scary in places, then it'll suddenly flip back into hilarious mode, keeping you totally off balance. Some parts are scary and funny at the same time.
I can only afford to see three movies at SIFF this year, but even if the other two are awful, "I Sell The Dead" was worth the price of all three. I'm going to be looking for more movies from Larry Fessenden's Glass Eye Pix. He's giving the horror genre a much-needed kick in the butt.
Trap (2006)
Very well written, super-low budget thriller
This is a fascinating movie, wildly entertaining and deeply disturbing by turns. The acting is solid, particularly by Edward Nahhat as the bullied and near-broken Chandler. There is some wonderful black comedy here, as well as suspense and just a little gore. And the character of Amy...wow.
My only gripes are with the ending, which could have been stronger, and with the fact that I wish Amy had occupied more screen time. She was just so much fun to watch.
Viva independent film! People who are giving this movie low ratings because of the limited production values are making a serious mistake. The really interesting films don't come out of Hollywood. They come from people with good imaginations, a few bucks, and a camera.
Mulberry St (2006)
Best killer rat/zombie movie ever!
Okay I realize my title is silly, but this really is a terrific flick. Excellent characterization, fabulous script, good build-up of suspense, and really cool/creepy/gross creatures. Since the filmmakers had very little budget, they wisely don't show the creatures in much detail. This makes them all the more horrible and unnerving.
Now, I was prepared to like this movie. I LOVE killer rat movies in all their forms, from the really wonderful Willard remake to the godawful but hysterical "Rodentz." But this went WAY beyond a killer rat movie, a zombie movie, a disaster movie, or even a horror movie. It's just flat a GOOD FILM.
Go see it while you can!
Wishbaby (2007)
Scary urban fairy tale
I saw a rough cut of this movie at the H.P. Lovecraft Film Festival in Portland. To be honest, when I heard the premise (a doll that grants wishes) I thought it was going to be dreadful. The surprise was on me. There was nothing cheesy about this movie--it was creepy and fascinating from start to finish.
Drawing from Lovecraft, modern London, and the darkest of fairy tales, this movie has both heart and scare. The young lead actress is fantastic, and the "Governess" character will give you nightmares. The direction is terrific, as is the writing.
See it in the theater if you can. Rent it if you can't.
I'm thinking I need to make a "Wishbaby" prop for Halloween...
Justice Be Damned (2007)
Go DIY Go!
Okay, I'm not going to say this is a good movie, because it really isn't. But if I were scoring it for effort, I'd give it a 10. Maybe an 11.
This is a zero-budget horror western. An 1860's marshal is taking a murderer to his trial in Yuma. They get sidetracked in a really odd ghost town. Much weirdness ensues.
The story is really, really interesting. The writing isn't bad, and sometimes it's downright good. The actors playing the marshal and the badman are both entertaining. The marshal is low-key and earnest, and the bad guy is an over-the-top psycho. Gotta love that.
But the movie suffers a whole lot due to the lack of budget. The costuming is bad to the point of hilarity. Female characters appear in everything from 1980's style prom dresses that kinda-sorta look like they were western inspired, to Frederick's of Hollywood lingerie. A peripheral male character is actually wearing acid-washed jeans. The special effects are cringe-making. (Okay, there's one good gunshot to the head. I'm guessing everybody pooled their money for that one.) But don't get me wrong--I'm not dissing this flick. I totally admire anyone who can get their act together enough to create a DIY movie. And this one has some real imagination behind it. Yay for indie filmmakers!
Dark Ride (2006)
Gory good fun
There's nothing hugely original about "Dark Ride." It's basically a slasher flick in a really fun and interesting setting--an old spookhouse. But the script (although uneven) is sometimes entertaining, the acting is decent, and the gore is a hoot.
The movie starts out with a gruesome double murder. Creepy stuff. Unfortunately, it drags for awhile after that, as the college-age cannon fodder are introduced. It starts to gather steam once the kids pick up a hilariously psycho hitchhiker. Then once they reach the Dark Ride, all hell breaks loose, and the fun starts.
The sets in this movie are awesome. I noticed that an earlier reviewer said he couldn't see the action, because the movie was too dark. His theater must have a wimpy projector, because I could see everything just fine, and the visuals were great. I just wish the Dark Ride was real so I could go on it!
As I mentioned earlier, the gore is great fun. The bad guy is scary. I wished he had more screen time, but what he had was terrific. There are some unexpected twists, and the script breaks up the tension with some real belly laughs. (Intentional ones, unlike the painfully bad lines in the Horrorfest film "Unrest.")
"Dark Ride" isn't a great horror film, but it's a good one. I definitely enjoyed it. See it while you can.
Unrest (2006)
Beware of Brazilian Aztecs!
Okay. I watch a lot of horror movies. I mean LOADS of them. I enjoy horror as a genre, and I'm willing to put up with a lot of silly crap if a movie has other redeeming features. This movie, however, has almost none. The only reason I gave it two stars instead of one was for the Tank O Dead Guys and the Dead Guy Hook at the start of the movie. Those were fun. The rest of the flick, though...sigh.
So what's wrong with this movie? Where to start? The acting is almost universally awful. The script is beyond awful. It's ridiculous. The main character repeats her taglines about "feeling something" in the presence of the cadaver so many times it's just silly. When she tells the school psychologist "There's something wrong with my cadaver," the entire audience erupted in laughter. (Wrong with it? Well, uh, it's DEAD...) In fact, the Seattle audience laughed through most of this piece of medical waste.
"Unrest" starts out promising, with floating corpses and some icky-cool dissection scenes. Then it gets boring. Then it gets stupid. Um...people swimming of formaldehyde? The fumes alone from that quantity of the stuff would kill your silly ass. A woman who picks up an angry Aztec goddess...in BRAZIL??? I guess it got bored with Mexico and went to Brazil for spring break.
Then there was the Aztec goddess they picked for the job. Tlazoteotl is a fertility and sex goddess. And she's not a literal "eater of filth." She was a sineater--she purified the dying at the end of their lives. As far as Aztec gods go (and they all tended to be pretty nasty), she was a downright sweetie. Why not pick Coatlicue, who was a mother/death goddess who wore a necklace of human hands and stunk like decaying flesh? Or Xipetotec, the Flayed God? Just thinking about a Flayed God creeps me out! But no. They had to go with the Ho Goddess.
Worst of all, the movie just wasn't scary. It didn't even get a startle out of me. And when I can't get scary, I'll accept good gore, but there wasn't even any of that. All the murders took place offscreen. The POSTER is scarier than the entire movie.
I can't say I regret seeing this movie at Horrorfest. I went with a good friend, and we laughed our butts off. But y'know, we could have seen Borat. Borat in that bathing suit thing alone is scarier than anything in Unrest.
Altered Species (2001)
Rat Lovers Rejoice!
This movie starts out with a guy pouring glow stick goop down a sink. Any movie that starts out with glow stick goop is OK in my book! (Let's hear it for ReAnimator!) Okay, this is a really, really bad movie. The characters, script, and acting are not worth mentioning. But it's full of RATS! Loads and loads of RATS! Lots of close-ups of their cute little ratty faces. Lots of images of adorable rats running here and there. If you're a rat fan, you'll dig it.
Then there are the rat attacks. Simply sublime. Shaky camera work, girls tossing their hair around, people screaming wildly as rat puppets "chew" on their body parts, people holding fat, bewildered pet rats up to their throats and shrieking. If you're not giggling by the end of the first demise, you're in a coma. (And there's actually a fairly decent "chewed off face" effect at one point. I suspect they spent all their money on that effect. And on rat chow.)
And then, there's the giant rat. YES, what a surprise, there's a giant rat. Sometimes it's a giant rat puppet, or a disembodied tail dragging around. But the VERY BEST part comes at the end, when you get a good look at the whole rat.
IT'S A GUY IN A RAT SUIT!
I laughed so hard I sprayed diet Dr. Pepper through my nose and hit the dog from five feet away!
*Spoiler. Like anybody cares.*
It gets better. They set the giant rat on FIRE. Yes, we get a flaming giant rat. Then the flaming giant rat is riding around on top of a van, which is pretty amusing. Then it falls INTO the van, where it appears to be driving it. I was lying on the floor howling with laughter and rolling around in my popcorn by the time this movie ended.
I gave this flick zero stars as a horror film, but ten stars as a "stay up all night watching really bad movies and drinking beer with your buds" flick. I intend to add it to my Giant Rat Movie Marathon party this summer.
SQUEAK!
The Barber (2002)
Fun in the dark!
I bought the DVD of this movie for five bucks at Fred Meyer. Honestly, I thought it was going to suck. I only bought it because it stars Malcolm McDowell, and I'd watch that man read the phone book.
Big surprise! The Barber is delightful! It's filled with dark humor, wit, and some really terrific visual jokes. Oh yeah, and grisly murders, too.
Malcolm McDowell is fantastic, as usual. He alternately downplays the character and chews the scenery. The rest of the cast is good as well. The chief of police is excellent as he slowly comes unhinged. The dim but sweet Jules was another of my favorites.
Sure, there are technical problems. It's a low-budget flick, and they could have used a continuity editor. But so what? The movie is great fun. Watch it on a dark, cold night.
And I'm not just saying this because Malcolm McDowell makes my horns pointy.