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themusgrat
Reviews
The Wheel of Time (2021)
Pretty Awful
I will admit I had unreasonable expectations, having started the books when 6 were still unwritten, and rereading the series before each release. But this is absolute trash.
From scenes that look cheap and fake, right after great looking CGI scenery and backdrops, to the awful cookie cutter soundtrack getting some tribal drums going during Egwene's Women's Circle ceremony, to the opening scene ripping pages out of later books as some Reds chase down 2 Californians in manbuns, to Rand getting all up in there the moment he speaks to Egwene, to Lan getting in a hot tub with Moraine and giving a piggish smile after complaining it's not hot enough, and she uses some distant sparkly bell magic inspired by teeny bopper cooking magic shows to warm him up.....
Really, it's bad. It's not just a horrible adaptation, but it's really not an adaptation at all, and just a bad show with some things stolen from the books. It could definitely get better, but this level of storytelling and scripting is infantile. They are just throwing in sex/nudity to keep people watching. I just can't even.
Dolemite Is My Name (2019)
In the running for Best Movie of the Year, surely?
I'll get this out of the way, if you're offended by lots of cursing, fbombs, please don't see this movie.
If you can get over yourself enough to try to enjoy a movie, this is an incredible movie. Everyone else has told you how funny it was, what great performances people gave, but what struck me was that it is so genuine. It is such a genuine movie, from top to bottom. Here and there, there are little quirks, but you realize they are just love touches.
It has been a long time since I've seen a movie I could both laugh at and thoroughly enjoy. I cannot say enough good things about this movie. It may not be the best movie of all time, and it's not trying to be. What it is good at though, it couldn't be better at.
American Hustle (2013)
Greatness
Any movie like this will have detractors. There will also be people who say it is the perfect movie. It is not the perfect movie, but it doesn't need to be. Is that what we need when we go to the cinema, perfection? Perfect people? It's the fact that we are imperfect beings that makes us so interesting.
American Hustle is the story of love won and love lost, a story of politicians and con-men, a story of the area between good and bad. But don't let me bore you, it's really just an adventure. Enough realism that you never roll your eyes, enough drama and comedy that you never feel bored, enough of a story that you never feel lost in a self-serving film. But it is self serving. I can see how people would be bored. And I can see people rolling their eyes at some of it.
In the end, it will be what you want it to be. If you want to be entertained, you will be. If you want to trash movies on IMDb because they don't conform to your worldview, whatever that may be, this is the perfect movie for you! Beauty lies in imperfection. This movie has a lot of beauty on every level, and that's what makes it great.
Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)
Very good
Let me first say that this movie is rather over-hyped, rather overrated. I've read things like "most epic world building since Star Wars," and other things of that nature. This is not some sort of groundbreaking film. It is not a masterpiece of cinema. What it is, is a very good movie. A great popcorn flick. Visuals are outstanding for the most part.
Starlord as the main character is the typical lost boy who is finding himself throughout the movie. Zoe Saldana is great, as always, the love interest. Some of the humor falls a bit flat, but most of it is reasonably funny. Christ Pratt, again, is overrated here. He is good, but I get the feeling that after all the goodwill he built up in Parks and Rec, people would have said he was the greatest lead ever, no matter the movie. I'm not sure he really does serious very well, but he will only get better with time.
Overall it's a great flick to see before the summer ends. Absolutely worth it, just don't try to take it seriously.
The Wolf of Wall Street (2013)
One of the Greats
Drugs, sex, violence, alcohol... This movie is ridiculous, is a great work of art, almost satire at times... It's believable, it's over the top, and it's pretty accurate to the real story.
If you're easily offended, you already know to not go. Parts of it are hard to watch for all of us. But if you make yourself go, you might feel guilty, sure... but you'll be glad you did. Even if you tell your family how despicable that horrible movie is later.
Will be one of the great movies of the century when it's all said and done.
Don't miss it.
Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (2013)
A Serious Disappointment
In one of his interviews, the writer admitted that they went further with this movie, as a result of already having an audience. And it showed.
This movie is over the top in the most predictable way. Gone is any sort of believability, gone is the tasteful pacing, gone is the Anchorman story we loved. This was a movie intended for one purpose: "let's make as many ridiculous jokes as we possibly can." And I admit, why not? If you know that you're going to make an insane amount of money, no matter how good the movie is or isn't.
Sure, there were some hilarious scenes. I laughed hard at times. But this movie rode upon the shoulders of the first, and in no way was a worthy successor. As with most sequels, they thought they could get away with anything. For now, it's just a funny movie, but Anchorman 2 will not stand the test of time like Anchorman will. Of course any fan of the original will see it once, but once you've seen it, its watchability has been dated. I might see it one more time in my life, but this really was disappointing.
Maybe asking for an equal to the first was asking for too much. All I know is that I walked out of the theatre smiling, but shaking my head at how much wider that smile could have been.
Breathe In (2013)
Such an intricate study of a few people
This film manages to capture so much in so little time. Rarely do I think about a movie long after it's over, but I will be thinking about this for days. I could go on and on about the acting, or the direction, but that would do a disservice to what was actually presented. This is an in-depth study of a family and how their relationships change as they welcome an exchange student into their home.
Everything works together so beautifully here, almost too well. In a very profound way, these people manage to represent a struggle which has been done over and over, yet is captivating.
I'll be honest. This was hard for me to finish. The emotions running through the course of the movie were much too strong for what I thought I was getting myself into. Most classical musicians would have a difficult time with this film. In a single word, "beautiful." And if it had to be two words, the second would be "wrenching." I think we all long for this type of connection, but how to maintain it is the question that is asked of us. This was an honest and obtrusive peek into the way we live our lives. That's what separates film from art. There are many painters, many musicians, but few artists. Art is all about pulling things from people they didn't know they had, and I think anyone could gain something from this, if one can only manage to think past the here and now.
This Is 40 (2012)
Good movie, but...
I'll give this an 8, but...
Look, the reason I'm writing this is because of the other reviews I'm reading. I'm seeing things like "this is everything wrong with America," and "too much like real life."
The truth is, both of those things are somewhat true, but... This is a movie. It's not reality. It's not supposed to be everything that's right with America. We all know that's killing deer and baking pies, cmon.
This movie is just pure fun. It may not be fun for you, but it's fun for the people who wrote it and acted it out. It's not reality, it's not fantasy, it's just someone's take on... something. Who knows what. That's what art is. Believe me, plenty of people in Debussy's time looked at his art, and told everyone that he was just tricking people into liking his music. The truth was that Debussy was simply expressing himself. He wasn't trying to create the perfect song, or appeal to 2012. He was doing his own thing.
This movie is that. You can take away from it what you will. Some of you obviously have it all figured out and won't take anything away. For me, this was just a romanticized story of people finding it difficult to live with each other and keep others in front of themselves. It was a fun ride, sure. Is this Socrates? Maybe not. But it's entertaining, and if you're less than perfect, maybe it says a little something to you.
I get that this is a super emo review, but it's not easy to read all these reviews that attempt to pick this stuff apart. The arrogance, the blindness of people, it blows my mind. From what I've written you should know if you want to see this or not. I'd encourage it, but who am I to say you need to watch a movie.
At the end of the day, it's just another film I enjoyed.
End of Watch (2012)
Great cop film
In a way, this film probably more accurately describes police than the others I've seen. And I've seen a lot. It explores many topics, but the point of the movie is almost irrelevant to the fact that it's a great movie. I watched this on a night where really it was the only thing to watch; I didn't want to watch a drama. And it was good.
It's maybe not a perfect movie, but if it's not perfect, the imperfection only comes from imperfection in every day human life.
It's well worth your time.
It may not change you forever, but who are you to want to be manipulated that often.
Friends with Kids (2011)
As I was watching this...
I was already thinking of how I'd review it, if I was going to. Maybe that speaks to its inefficiency, but maybe it just means there was room in the film for me to think rather than watch mindlessly. I give this a 7, because it's purely enjoyable, but it's not perfect. As far as films go, it could have been better.
However, I'm not sure if it being a better film would really improve what it was saying, because that was rather clear. And it's not some anti- marriage sentiment, it's actually rather warming. I enjoyed the movie, and rather than go through it piece by piece, I'll just let that be enough. It was enjoyable. It had something worth saying. If you need a serious movie, then no. If you want to watch a flick, good movie for it.
Total Recall (2012)
God yes, but...
First, I enjoyed this flick. I love sci-fi, and this delivered. Visually it's good, the action is good, the plot is even decent, but where did it go wrong? I'm not sure what was at fault; the directing, the screen writing, who knows. But at some point, you hear the "he wants to see him alone" line and you just lose all hope. The story was never fleshed out, the characters were never fleshed out, and in turn it cheapened the visuals, the endless robot army, the occasionally-incredibly-cliché lines. It felt much like an Underworld flick, but instead of having vampires and werewolves to fall in love with, we're left with bad humans, good humans, and the central theme of the story; a guy who's lost. Regardless of how many times it's been done, I still think it's possible to do it.
This reminds me of a recent woody allen film, which my brother described as "the most entertaining terrible film ever." That's sort of how I feel about Total Recall, though it's not terrible. There's so much going for it. Colin Farrell really does about the best job he could possibly do, Kate Beckinsale is about the greatest female villain ever, Jessica Biel gives an incredible performance, I really respect how understated she played the role. But it seems like the director/writers decided to make a film with very little time devoted to plot, but do everything you can do with that little time. The problem is that none of it was done well; none of the characters were fleshed out, the story was actually probably explained too much, certain points were hammered home over and over, then the juicy things never got explained.
Such a shame, it could have been so much better, and I wish I could say with just a few changes, but in reality, almost the whole concept of the movie was doomed to summer action flick status. That's not horrible, but my mind just couldn't accept this reality. There were too many cliché lines, a scene with at least 50 bad guys with automatics unloading on 2 people 50 feet away (spoiler:!!! they all missed), no way to feel for any of the characters, and anytime we finally arrived anywhere, feeling that a situation had some sort of gravity, we were promptly whisked away meaninglessly.
Ladies can stop reading. On a lighter note, I feel compelled to say that both Kate and Jessica (yeah we're totally on a first name basis) have my deep and abiding love. They were so incredibly hot. I went with 2 expectations; to see Kate Beckinsale, and to see Jessica Biel. Both were very fulfilled, so for me, great success.
Anyways to close it out, it's worth seeing if you have the time, not if you'd have to make the time. Good film, but the worst part is knowing what could have been.
La Luna (2011)
So Good
I don't know short films like these other guys do, but what I know is that after this short ended, I told my brother it was worth the price of admission just to see the cartoon. I say that, and I walked in the theatre after the short was well underway.
The music is great, it's simply great, and it makes the film. I find it fascinating that the music does so much, yet the animation is so entrancing that the music is felt rather than heard. It's rare to see something on par with excellent music.
I write this only because I'm desperately searching for an online copy, I must see it again.
Melancholia (2011)
What can I say?
That hasn't already been said. So instead I'll tell you what I thought of the movie, not how good it was, not a review. The movie is pure art, and not art in the way my generation thinks of art. I argued on the internet that lady gaga isn't art the other day and got laughed at.
True art is something that exists for itself, not the audience. Another reviewer left a horrible review saying that even von Trier thought it was a horrible film. It is. I've never seen a film try to accurate depict the subject material that it does.
It's not for someone wanting to be entertained. Neither is the Mona Lisa. If you're wanting to be entertained, the last thing you do is print off a copy of the Mona Lisa and stare at it for 2 hours. This film stands on its own. It needs no reviews for it to stand, and it needs no explanation. The only reason I write this is because in this day and age, art does. We don't indulge in art to be entertained, we indulge in art to better ourselves. Art is one of the highest order things humanity is capable of; we use it to depict time and space, happiness and depression.
One last thing, as a violinist, I must both admire and hate the use of Wagner here, and musicians will know what I'm talking about. It has been a long time since I've experienced anything like this, and I'm still not entirely sure how I feel about it. I think that over the years I will watch this a few more times, and every time it will mean something different. Much like the use of the music here ironically.
Great, but horrific, film.
Savages (2012)
Savages
Reviewing this is hard, because it's all to easy to look at this and say it's typical Hollywood trash. While it may be, there were redeeming features. But first, the bad. The movie starts out in one of the more cliché ways possible, and when you see the style of cinematography, you'll understand. That's not necessarily bad, but showing people being decapitated for 10 seconds then having a lovely guitar song playing accompanied by a great view of the beach, well, suffice to say that the shock and awe factor was not there. Then there's the sex, and I won't give it away, but it's there just because it's sex.
Then there are tons of other things that don't really help the plot at all, but there were also good things. Travolta, of course, really brings some needed substance to the film. He's the knowledgeable accomplice type, he's the sneaky cheeky turncoat, he's the comic relief, all in 1. Without him, the film does not work. Well, him and Del Toro. They're both forced into type-cast roles, but they make the most out of it. In fact there are a handful of other great unknown actors here, but as I said, you'd never know it, because the plot is entirely cliché and typical.
I guess the one twist comes at the end, but for most people it will be more of a dissatisfying twist. I didn't mind it though, so I'd say if you think of yourself as a seasoned movie vet who's going to critically analyze this, don't see it. If you're up for some mild entertainment, sure, why not. There are cool parts, there are funny parts, and Travolta/del Toro are awesome.
Bernie (2011)
Incredible account
This is a great film. I got to see it last week in Austin, and let me tell you, there was never a better crowd to see it with. I'm sure it isn't for everyone, but I can't imagine who. As someone who has spent 6 years in Texas now, let me tell you the characters are just incredible. I've never seen small town personalities captured like this ever before. Where a lot of reviewers get mixed up in trashing the interview clips, I love them. I can think of people by name who closely resemble all the characters.
The movie tells a good story, and the actors/tresses make it into a fantastic story. You don't get to see films like this very often, so go and see it. If you're expecting school of rock, stay home and watch it again for the umpteenth time. If you want to go see a great film, go and see this one. Just great, or as Bernie would say, fabulous.
Battleship (2012)
Well...
There are very few movies in which the CGI is the sole redeeming factor, but this is one. Yes, the battleship is cool, the aliens are neat, the warships are awesome, but seriously. For aliens trying to take over the planet, they're pretty stupid. They must have left their smart people out of the expedition force. The acting from all actors is just horrific. To this day, it impresses me so much that they managed to gather up all the cheesiest lines of the movie, and make an excellent looking trailer out of them. But when you see the whole movie, it's just laughable.
If they had focused more on the fight scenes, making them more realistic, and less on the acting and attempting to have subplots, the movie would have gone over so much better. That's why Hunt for Red October, U571, and those types of movies were such mangasms. They had 1 thing to do, give every man a mangasm, and they went for it. Battleship is the marriage of war movie and Transformers-like drama. They took the worst of both of those, added in great CGI, and called it a movie.
Oh and Liam, please. Stay out of stuff like this, you're so much better.
Project X (2012)
OK, but seriously...
There are a lot of people who rightfully gave this 1 star. It's not for them, and I think its makers are proud that the average decent housewife would cry if forced to watch this. This is not for anyone other than someone who can put aside taking them self and society seriously for just a bit, just long enough to remember what we all dreamed about back in the day. This might not be every high schooler's dream, and that's good. Hopefully nobody has to dream, we can live out this fantasy through this movie without going to jail.
The movie is perfect for what it is. Total mindless fantastical teenage barely-post-pubescent awesomeness. Take that for what it is.
Safe House (2012)
Good Action Movie
It's hilarious these days how people will jump on the bandwagon to bash a movie that they didn't find exceptional. Safe House is not meant to be exceptional. It's meant to be a good movie within a defined genre with a flair that hasn't been done before.
I'm not sure whoever decided that all movies must be original, who was that all you reviewers? The movie isn't really original, though the concept of a safe house and its keeper is interesting and hasn't been done before like this. There is nothing technically wrong with the movie, and even though you may hear about "plot holes," there really are none. That's just ignorant people's way of saying they didn't like it. Everything is explained clearly, to the point of excess. It's obvious at almost every turn what the next step will be in the movie. Maybe not specifically, but not much is left up to the imagination. And don't get me wrong, it's not by poor design that you cannot figure out till the end who the real nemesis is. The movie tells you step by step what's about to happen next.
Maybe we're at the point in filmography where that's considered a bad thing. We're also in a point in filmography where subtitles are apparently too much hassle, and few people see films outside their native language. Tis a sad day, my friend.
This is not an exceptional film, but it is a solid one. If you want to be mentally challenged, you should go read a book. This is a good flick with a good amount of action, and a somewhat believable storyline. It's certainly not perfect, but it's certainly solid. I rated it at a 7 because it's worth a see unless you're a super duper elite movie goer. If you're that elite that you'll go to a movie like this then think you can, in all intellectual honesty, come here and write a terrible review.... Well in that case, do not see this. If you don't go into films with preconceived ideas of what it is, then you'll be just fine.
Seven Pounds (2008)
7 Pounds
I do not have much to say about this film. I first saw it in theatres with my brother, and it was a somewhat embarrassing experience, but I just saw it now and thought to go check the IMDb reviews. It seems there is a 9/10 review at the bottom of the page, so I am doing my best to correct that. Maybe you've heard of the movie, maybe a friend recommended it, maybe you just searched for the best movies of 2008. Whatever the case, see this movie. It is one of the great movies of our lifetimes, a movie that isn't out for money, or for the sake of itself. This is one of the few movies that gives you a choice; you can be better, you can be worse, or you can be the same. Though I will never be the same, and I can't imagine you will either.
Just see the movie, in a quiet place, alone or with people you love. It's not so much a movie as an expose on humanity. And one well worth listening to.
The Rum Diary (2011)
Great Film
The problem with people these days is that they need a protagonist, they need an antagonist. Is that what we've become? A society that so dearly needs a clear good and bad guy? We need a movie to yell at us what it's trying to get across? Reading all the reviews about the lack of focus, or not strictly adhering to the book, I might have a bad impression if I hadn't seen the film already. Thank the lord.
It's an amazing film, one that cannot really be taken apart, one that's hard to talk about in specifics. It's an art film, and like all forms of art, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. The Mona Lisa means something different to me than it means to most people, and the same idea applies here. In the film, I see way too much real life in the performances, I see realistic conditions, and the whole thing is a great ride. It's believable, it's got some funny moments, Amber Heard looks...... good.. to say the least... and when I left the theatre, I wondered what I had just seen. I thought about it for a while, formulated a sort of opinion, but then realized I got something out of it most people wouldn't; it spoke to my life.
Like I said, it's an art film. Go see it, and see what it says to you.
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010)
2010 continues to impress me
Though I could probably rave for hours tonight, I'll try to keep this short. After Kickass and Inception, I thought that for sure, 2010 would be plumb out of good movies. But oh boy. Like the other reviewer said, as the Universal Logo appeared in like an 80x50 resolution accompanied by a midi track, I knew this was going to be good. I somehow managed to make it through the seizure inducing beginning credits, then the movie took off. It was maybe a little slow for a few minutes, but now I realize it was only preparing me for the awesomeness to follow.
Anyways, the acting was superb, and I completely have a new lovecrush on Mary Elizabeth Winstead. She could_not_have_been_hotter. In fact the whole movie is overrun with a cast that would steal the show in any normal movie, but here it's just a big collection of great young actors, which we rarely get to see. I think inevitably, and very unfortunately, this will be compared to Kickass, and that almost makes me sad, but also makes me happy that I'm getting to see both in the same year.
So basically, if you've ever been into random games such as say, Zelda, Final Fantasy, well, you REALLY might not want to miss this one. It's not the perfect movie, but I think the director would shoot himself if it was. It's an entertaining movie, and while on one hand, the nerdier you are the more you'll get it, I think there's a lot to laugh at here for everyone. It gets my utmost endorsement.
Avatar (2009)
Beautiful, through and through
First, I'd like to say that you should be reading all these comments and reviews later, not before. Right now you should be seeing the movie, and you will not regret it, I promise. This isn't meant to be a review as such, instead it is a response to the very few people that mistakenly mark Avatar as having a cliché and dense storyline.
I think one of the main reasons why we feel Cameron should have done a better job with the storyline is that he wrote this like 10 years ago, am I not right? I guess he just figured he'd use the storyline from back then, but in the meantime, there's been dozens, maybe hundreds of movies all using a storyline much like this one, because after all, it's what sells movies. I still don't consider this storyline "bad" though, because while it may have been done and said many times, this is the best iteration of it I've ever seen, and I expect that had this movie come out in 2001, I wouldn't even notice; I'd just call it epic all around.
Besides, you can't try to compare this movie to some super realistic one, everything in it is drawing you into something very different from the reality that we live in. The GI Joe-like badass Marine dudes, their toy-like hovercraft and mechs, the blue furries, the overthetop lines, the overdone emotions that nobody in real life would have, the glow in the dark plants, the 6 legged creatures, the 3D..... All of these elements have been done over and over, but where this differs is that Cameron combines them all into something that just works. The people that are nitpicking on them aren't really nitpicking on the Avatar movie, because everything here is done splendidly. They're unknowingly picking on all the movies that did these things, but badly, and ruined us of these things forever.
There's nothing wrong with naming something "unobtanium," or having a GI Joe for your nemesis character, or having a 10 foot tall super hot humanoid-with-a-tail character, or a Pocahontas storyline; it's just that when we see those, we jump on all the failures related to them, and then somehow we think it was Avatar's fault.
Anyways, enough justification, just go see it.